Chosen

by Ginger Garrett

  66

  Fourth Day of the Month of Av

  Year 3414 after Creation

  You have heard my story and been my faithful companion down these darkened catacombs of the buried past. Of course we are all gone now. My time to die is upon me; my beauty was, indeed, fleeting. My husband, the great King Xerxes, is dead as well. There was much speculation during his reign that his death would be deliberate at the hands of his enemies. Had he seen beyond his cups he might have known who they were and how best to stop them. But the man whose appetites had ruled a nation was ultimately consumed by death itself.

  I long to tell you more, and hear your own story, but my time with you has come to an end. My hand, once so smooth and sure as it wrote across these pages, has grown frightened and faltering. I doubt Mordecai has survived this night. My time is truly done. How blessed I am to at last shrug off my burdens, this world of sand and tears, to see the face of the Christ[1] and lay my coveted crown at the feet of the King of Kings.

  The guards are coming to these chambers now; I can hear their movements in the palace. I will find a friend among them to remove this diary and set it in the tomb of the ancients here in Persia. They betrayed Xerxes’ crown for gold; they will betray the new and coming king for such as well. Their greed gives me peace, for I know that for the right price, my scrolls will be safely carried away. I will tell them I have set a spy among the people; if the scrolls are not well hidden, the guard will be killed. (It is a lie, but I trust it will be forgiven.) I will bless this diary before it leaves me, my faithful companion for these many years, and pray that it journeys someday to another woman of destiny. It must not be wasted on women who do not have the ears to hear the soft call of G-d, or the eyes to see beyond their own reflections. I will pray that no one will find this story, except for another woman who has been called. I pray to embrace you, my dear one, when we meet on G-d’s shores someday. You have come to know me so well in these pages. I smile to think that I will know you as well when we meet in eternity.

  Now your own time has come: What is your future? Why has G-d brought you to a time such as this? I wonder what evil will rise in your time; it is said that if you cut off the head of a snake, two more will grow in its place. Haman is but dust now, yet evil is alive. The serpent lives to strike another woman, in another time. I pray you will have faith in G-d for those evil days, and faithful friends to turn to. Your effect on the world will be immediate, and eternal.

  Go now. Go to your future. Let my story, and the words of G-d’s Holy Scriptures, give you comfort and strength for what must be done. When your victory is assured, and you raise a cup of wine at your own feast, look to the stars and give me a smile. For who can change the world quite like a woman?[2]

  [1] Jews referred to their hoped-for Savior as the Christ, the Greek translation of this word being used for this edition. When Jesus arrived about five hundred years later, many Jews recognized him as the Christ, and so Jesus became known as the Christ Jesus, or Jesus Christ.

  [2] See corresponding commentary in appendix.

  Appendix

  COMMENTS ON THE LOST DIARIES

  M. C. Rosenblum, Curator of the Lost Diaries

  “THE WOMEN OF THE BIBLE: OUR SISTERS, OUR SELVES”

  WOMEN’S VIEW LECTURE SERIES, BOSTON

  SEPTEMBER 18, 2004

  Queen Vashti was considered to be the most beautiful woman in the empire. This claim is never disputed, even in light of the events that will soon transpire in this story. Esther will need moral courage for the days soon ahead, but she will need another kind of courage as well: the belief that her beauty is a reflection of God’s inspired appeal. Esther lived in a world that judged women solely by appearance. If Esther believes in the standards of her time, and judges herself by them, she will not be able to do what lies ahead for her.

  What was it that set Esther apart? Although we do not know how Mordecai allowed Esther to groom herself, we know her peers used cosmetics to increase their allure. Fats from animals such as lions and crocodiles were used as the base for cosmetics and perfumes, and it was believed that the strength and beauty of these animals would be passed along to the wearers. These fats, mixed with color, lined the eyes and lips, and were applied based on the premise that light always creates highlights and shadows. To be alluring as a woman, one must draw the eye to a good feature, and away from a lesser one.

  The Jews say God created Esther with a different approach. Esther’s peers used cosmetics to manipulate the light around them. Yet, fashioned by God, in this story Esther would be the light. It is taught that women are illuminated internally by His power and strength. He has shaped them to His satisfaction. They are a reflection of the supernatural.

  Queen Vashti was indeed considered the most beautiful woman in the empire. God would not have Esther challenge that in the days ahead. Instead, God would have Esther become the most powerful woman in the empire and a beloved woman of history. The Jews believe she was not created to embody the fashion of her times, but to reflect the majesty and providence of a God moving unseen through the world, even the forgotten world of women.

  COMMENTS ON THE LOST DIARIES

  M. C. Rosenblum, Curator of the Lost Diaries, continued

  A leading criminal behavior expert once said, “By the time a girl has reached her teens, she has gone from being an occasional sexual predatory prize to the leading sexual predatory prize.”1

  Yes, the cloak of childhood has protected Esther until now. As she prepares to enter womanhood, she must prepare for new dangers as well. As girls mature into women, they must face the threat that some men seek to harm them. Preparing a girl for the worst kind of danger, while giving her freedom, is a chasm most parents find difficult to cross.

  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

  OFFICE OF THE PRESS SECRETARY

  SEPTEMBER 23, 2003

  PRESIDENT BUSH ADDRESSES THE UNITED NATIONS ASSEMBLY

  The United Nations

  New York, New York

  The President:

  “Events during the past two years have set before us the clearest of divides: between those who seek order, and those who spread chaos; between those who work for peaceful change, and those who adopt the methods of gangsters; between those who honor the rights of man, and those who deliberately take the lives of men and women and children without mercy or shame.

  “There’s another humanitarian crisis spreading, yet hidden from view. Each year, an estimated 800,000 to 900,000 human beings are bought, sold, or forced across the world’s borders. Among them are hundreds of thousands of teenage girls, and others as young as five, who fall victim to the sex trade. This commerce in human life generates billions of dollars each year …

  “There’s a special evil in the abuse and exploitation of the most innocent and vulnerable. The victims of the sex trade see little of life before they see the very worst of life—an underground of brutality and lonely fear. Those who create these victims and profit from their suffering must be severely punished. Those who patronize this industry debase themselves and deepen the misery of others. And governments that tolerate this trade are tolerating a form of slavery.

  “The American government is committing $50 million to support the good work of organizations that are rescuing women and children from exploitation, and giving them shelter and medical treatment and the hope of a new life. We must show new energy in fighting an old evil … the trade in human beings for any purpose must not be allowed to thrive in our time.”

  COMMENTS ON THE LOST DIARIES

  M. C. Rosenblum, Curator of the Lost Diaries, continued

  Esther has entered, for the first time, a world in which her body is not her own. It will be judged, critiqued, and manipulated every day that she awakens in the harem. Our modern lives are not so different, are they? When even the most beautiful movie star is judged too imperfect for
the cover of a magazine without extensive photo airbrushing and retouches, how can we be comfortable with our own, more humble, imperfections?

  Esther’s story begins with her awareness, not of her great beauty, but of her imperfections. She will grow in power by embracing the imperfections all around her, in herself, and in others. This is the lesson, then, of Esther’s imperfections: When we risk letting down our guard and taking off our masks, when we let others see our weaknesses and faults, we draw them to us. We send out a quiet signal that it’s safe to be real with us. Her power, and ours, does not grow by comparing our beauty to another’s, or by insisting our strength is superior, but by setting all claims aside.

  ANDY STANLEY, AUTHOR: VISIONEERING

  Do you wake up every day to circumstances that have absolutely nothing remotely to do with the vision you sense God developing in you? Then you are in good company. Joseph reviewed his vision from an Egyptian dungeon. Moses spent years following sheep. David, the teenage king, spent years hiding in caves. And Nehemiah was the cupbearer to the very king whose ancestors had destroyed the city he longed to rebuild! Be encouraged. God has you there for a reason.… I would guess the time required for God to grow you into his vision for your life will be somewhere between four months and forty years.… There seems to be a correlation between the preparation time and the magnitude of the task.2

  COMMENTS ON THE LOST DIARIES

  M. C. Rosenblum, Curator of the Lost Diaries, continued

  Esther had no political or personal power over her fate. Her only bargaining chip was to conceive a child, preferably a boy. Bearing the king’s child would afford her better accommodations in the wives’ harem and preferential treatment for the rest of her days. In fact, Esther’s job was to make herself so luscious that the king would want to sleep with her repeatedly, thereby increasing her chances of conceiving. Esther’s sexuality was centered on two goals: pleasing the man and producing a child. Fertility was literally worshipped in her era; sexuality was the means to an end.

  The message to Esther and her peers was that the key to happiness lies in seducing a man, because a seductive woman had more chances for children, and surely women who were mothers were, indeed, a happier lot.

  For us, Esther’s modern sisters, our sex-to-children equation is almost completely inverse to her own. Esther’s generation welcomed sex with the right man because it offered a chance for pregnancy, and motherhood gave them social and economic advancement. But today, the message to modern women is that they must avoid getting pregnant so that they can continue to have plenty of sex with many partners, because surely women who do this are a happier lot.

  Esther dared to go against the blatant dictates of culture. She did not view her sexuality as a commodity that might afford her a better life. She was emotionally detached from the promises of the harems and the king. She believed that nothing, and no one, could offer her anything that didn’t come first and best from the hands of her almighty God. Her culture did not determine her behavior, nor did her devastating need for protection and provision. She was a woman enslaved who was completely free. And it is only when we dare set our faces against the winds of our culture, to take the more difficult path, that our names are remembered and celebrated throughout the generations.

  EXCERPT FROM ADDRESS TO HOLY INNOCENTS PREPARATORY SCHOOL

  M. C. Rosenblum, Curator of the Lost Diaries

  DALLAS, TEXAS

  NOVEMBER 12, 2004

  Look around you. Doesn’t it seem that today’s girls, like Esther, live in a harem? They have more freedom of movement, but are the standards and expectations so different? Every girl wants to catch the eye of “the king.” Every girl is offering up her wares and looking at other girls with a wary eye. And like the women in Esther’s harem, they feel sure that if they could only catch the eye of this elusive king, they would be moved up to a better life, and a better place.

  Every other woman took something of value into Xerxes’ bedchamber for their introduction, whether it was his favorite food, or an exotic dance they had learned with seductive props, or a treasure from their homeland. Esther brought only herself, esteeming herself as the best gift she could offer. But she would not lay herself down on his bed, dreaming of what this encounter would mean for her future. She knew this king had nothing in his palace, or his treasuries, to offer in exchange for her purity. It was a gift too costly even for the vast sums of wealth he held.

  Esther carried herself in honor and was given more. Honor wins more honor. The girls who honored seduction as their only asset got only sex. Esther valued herself, and her God above all, and was given the kingdom and the king.

  ADDRESS TO THE WOMEN’S CAUCUS OF FINDING FREEDOM: SOCIOECONMOMIC SOLUTIONS FOR WOMEN

  M. C. Rosenblum, Curator of the Lost Diaries

  SAN DIEGO, CA

  OCTOBER 6, 2004

  As I saw that hand and foot, something irrational happened: a lifetime’s orientation toward maternal rights over fetal rights lurched out of kilter. Some voice from the most primitive core of my brain—the voice of the species?—said: You must protect that little hand at all costs; no harm can come to it or its owner. That little hand, that small human signature, is more important now than you are. The message was unambivalent.3

  These are the words of a staunchly pro-choice woman as she describes seeing, for the first time, an ultrasound image of her unborn child. She calls it an “irrational experience,” this realization that an unborn baby may indeed have greater priority than she had imagined.

  Now think of a drugstore, any drugstore in any city in the United States. The family-planning aisle is a row overwhelmed with products. If you can’t find what you like, a prescription can get you anything from behind the counter as well. Creams, pills, diaphragms, IUDs, sponges, condoms, patches, injections—not to mention all the surgical procedures available at any nearby hospital and clinic. For the first time in the history of the Western world, a woman’s choices are limitless. We can determine our behavior, control many of the foreseeable consequences, and no longer fear condemnation. We can choose when to become sexually active, and with whom. We can choose to remain faithful in a marriage, or have affairs. We can choose from any number of methods to prevent or encourage conception.

  Esther and her peers had no choices. They would never have “partners”; they would be with one man, their husband, and he would be chosen for them. Contraception was limited; most notably, crocodile feces packed in as a barrier method.

  The real debate today isn’t about our choices; it’s about our honor. The fight for women’s rights has given us much, but hasn’t yet called us to greater glory. Our victories threaten to strip us of honor, for we seem unwilling to accept responsibility for our choices. We are becoming less than we were created to be. We have pursued women’s rights until they have become women’s whims. We must not let our choices lead us to indulgence; may our choices lead us to integrity, and our integrity lead us to honor.

  WOMEN AND TERROR: A NEW UNDERSTANDING OF THE WAR

  M. C. Rosenblum, Curator of the Lost Diaries

  With wars and terror attacks increasingly claiming the lives of civilians, civilian interest and involvement in peace strategy is more intense than in any previous generation. War has become intensely personal, claiming the lives of innocents at restaurants, parks, on public transportation.

  But just as terrorism is a war waged by individuals, peace is becoming the work of individuals as well.

  Women in particular are effective at creating peace. Accustomed to being ignored by mainstream war policy, women are used to considering alternative strategies, tools, and methods that curb hatred and violence.

  Women have lived with terrorism in a deeply personal way, being forced to always consider the risks inherent in dark parking lots, empty streets, and walking unescorted through certain neighborhoods. Terrorism in the form of rape and violent, impe
rsonal attack has shaped how women live from the moment they are born. Now that awareness of terrorism has at last become an international issue, women are uniquely qualified to offer solutions.

  Women’s solutions tend to be immediate, practical, and independent of government agency. Policy has never protected a woman in a dark alley, and peace has never lasted as long as the human heart is capable of harboring hate. Women understand the impersonal reality of hatred and violence, the complete lack of logic behind acts of terrorism, and the dangerous, difficult work that peace is. Women at the negotiating table may offer the best hope we have for ending the violence that has shattered families and scorched cities.

  COMMENTS ON THE LOST DIARIES

  M. C. Rosenblum, Curator of the Lost Diaries, continued

  “[Wisdom] has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table,” says Proverbs 9:2. In Proverbs, wisdom is personified as a woman, and here we see her setting the table for a feast. You could make the case that this is classic literary foreshadowing in the Bible, since Proverbs was written about three hundred years before Esther lived. Let’s focus on the message.

  Jesus taught His disciples a foundational truth about life: If you are faithful with the little things, you can be trusted with even greater things. It’s so easy to want to jump to greatness without having done all of the footwork. Is it possible, here in this moment, you are being rehearsed for greatness, tested to see if you know how to use the little things God has entrusted you with?