Trusting Eternity (The Sullivan Vampires, Volume 2

by Bridget Essex

  Did I sleep with Tommie last night?

  Okay, get a grip, I thought to myself, willing my heartbeat to slow down, and concentrating on making my breathing more regular. I’d only been terribly, painfully, absurdly drunk about three or four times in my life (I’d been pretty boring in college—I wasn’t the party girl type—and then I’d gotten together with Anna, who’d never been much of a drinker herself), and each of those times, I’d still been able to remember what I’d been up to that previous night. Certainly, I’d wake up the next morning with the most killer headache imaginable, and a stomach that wanted me dead, but at least I’d remember what had happened to me.

  I took a deep breath, calming my racing heart and the panic that was rising in me. The anxiety shed off of me like petals as I took some long, deep, cleansing breaths and as my head slowly began to clear, as I began to relax, it was then—of course—that I remembered.

  I remembered Tommie walking me back to her room, my arm around her shoulder, because after the party had died down and I’d taken the drink trays back down to the kitchen, I’d helped myself to the remaining wine in the bottles. Gwen had told me that the Sullivans didn’t mind, that they encouraged their employees to partake of everything that was left over from their meetings, get togethers or parties. And that included partaking of as much of the leftover booze that I could stomach. And because I’d been upset about the situation with Kane and Tommie and Melody, and what I’d been through that day…I’d had my fair share of that wine.

  The problem with all of that is that I’m really not the best at holding wine. So after a couple of deep glasses last night, I’d gotten tipsy and then drunk…terribly drunk, really, as I’d kept playing that look of disappointment on Kane’s face over and over again in my mind’s eye, and kept pouring myself another glass, even after Gwen told me I should probably stop.

  It was a terrible idea, admittedly, to drink when I was that upset, but I’d been too upset to think clearly, and the wine was there, ready to make things just a little softer…and then Tommie had been there, too, appearing out of nowhere in her suit jacket and her sarcastic, gorgeous smile. And Tommie had helped me to her room. I think the reason was that the locks were still changed on my door, so, technically, I really didn’t have anyplace else to go, and Tommie had wanted to make certain I had someplace.

  Or, perhaps, Tommie had just wanted to take me back to her room—and, in all honesty, I had been more than willing to go. So we went.

  Tommie had also helped me out of my absurd maid’s outfit, apologizing and chuckling in turns at my outrage over it. She’d gently pulled me into one of her old tank tops because I was so sore from serving drinks and carrying the heavy drink trays all night that I could hardly get my hands over my head (and, admittedly, too drunk to find the arm holes in the tank top). I don’t remember Tommie’s fingers lingering on my skin—it had been done discretely and kindly, her helping me out of that dress and into a shirt, even though I’d been naked in front of her, practically, even though I’d tripped as I’d stepped out of the dress and fallen against her. She’d helped me upright, her eyes averted, her cold hands at my waist. I remember that much. And then Tommie had eased me into bed and curled up behind me, her body tightly against mine, her arm still around my waist like she was never letting go.

  As I lay in Tommie’s bed that morning, Tommie still holding me tightly, I stared up at the barren white ceiling of her bedroom and let out a deep breath that I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding. Now, with a clear head that I hadn’t done anything stupid while I was drunk, I considered things.

  If I slept with Tommie Sullivan, I wanted it to mean something. I didn’t want it to be some stupid one-night stand, or a drunken, fumbling endeavor that was purely meaningless. I wanted it to be real, to have build up and emotions and…I wanted a relationship with anyone I slept with. I hadn’t been with anyone since Anna. I wasn’t about to start meaningless sexual dalliances.

  But maybe (just maybe), I was actually ready to start another relationship.

  I took a deep breath as Kane’s face flashed in my mind’s eye again, her piercing blue eyes staring clearly into mine, her chin up and her mouth in a thin, hard line. But I shouldn’t think about Kane anymore, I reminded myself (somewhat painfully). After all, Kane had made it very clear last night that she didn’t want me. And, anyway, she had Melody back now, her soul mate. She wasn’t alone. She had the woman she’d wanted more than anything else on Earth.

  There was absolutely nothing holding me to Kane anymore, if there had ever been anything to hold me to her.

  I watched Tommie breathing slowly, her soft lips parted as she inhaled and exhaled with a sensual, constant rhythm. Everything Tommie did was sensual, from the act of taking off her hat to rake her fingers through her hair or when she leaned against the wall, hands shoved deeply into her pockets as she brooded moodily over something. She practically exuded raw sensuality, grace, ease…she was magnetic, and it was fairly obvious (at least, I was pretty certain) that with that much charm, Tommie had been with a lot of other women. Coming from that, I wasn’t certain about what Tommie necessarily wanted with me.

  But as I watched her sleep, I thought about what I wanted with Tommie. I bit my lip as my gaze trailed down her cheek and chin and neck to the low cut of her tank top and the small rise of her breasts.

  Beside me, Tommie made a little grumbling sound in the back of her throat again as her eyelashes fluttered, and then she opened her eyes, blinking slowly as her gaze focused on me. And in a single instant, a sardonic smile began to curl her lips up at the corners, a smile that sent a shiver through me. “Good morning,” she growled to me, and then she slowly leaned forward, the bed creaking gently beneath her shifting body, as she pressed her cold mouth to my bare shoulder.

  A shudder raced through me, and my heart started beating quickly all over again. Her lips were very cold against my skin, but it was a delicious kind of cold, a kind of cold I craved. Her fingertips moved slowly, but with a determined patience, up and under the hem of my tank top.

  My body responded quicker than my heart did. I turned over completely, lying on my back as I stared up at her, my heart pounding at a faster rate than my blood could take.

  All I knew, in that moment, was need. And I knew, in that moment, that if I responded to that need, I would be making a mistake.

  I was still too upset from last night. I was hung over. This wasn’t how I wanted my first time with Tommie to be.

  I bit my lip and her fingers paused. She stared down at me, and I realized that her breath was coming faster, her pupils were darker.

  She felt it, too.

  “I just…I need a little time,” I managed to tell her. “I…I really like you, Tommie,” I said quietly, as her dark eyes pinned me in place for a moment, as she held my gaze fiercely. “But so much has happened in the past few days…I don’t know if I’m coming or going.” I licked my lips, felt my own disappointment fill me. But, seriously, I didn’t want it to be like this. I wanted to be able to brush my teeth and take a really great shower and smell better than spilled wine and I wanted it to be sexy, not self-conscious…

  Because I knew that I did want this. I wanted Tommie.

  Kane wasn’t mine, and she never would be. And I had to start being all right with that fact.

  “Give me a little time?” I whispered, holding her gaze.

  For a long moment, I honestly didn’t know what she’d say. But then a slow smile began to turn up the corners of her mouth again, and she nodded, raising one eyebrow as she lay back down on the bed beside me. “Of course,” she said, her voice a low growl. But she kept her fingers beneath the hem of the tank top. “I want to try this with you, Rose,” she said then, and the joking glint in her eyes was gone, the truth of her as clear as day and visible, flashing in her eyes. There was so much raw sincerity there. “Take the time you need,” she told me.

  I wanted to roll over and go up on my elbows over her, run my fingers through
her hair, bring my mouth to hers. Everything about Tommie was easy like that. I fiercely held on to her gaze and tried not to think about Kane’s sad expression in profile, tried not to think about Kane at all. It was hard.

  Kane’s shadow was cast over the possibility of Tommie and me. But we could still make it work, even though I still had feelings for Kane.

  Right?

  Tommie’s fingers slipped out from beneath my shirt, and she traced a line up over the fabric to my face, curling her cool fingers around my chin and drawing me to her. Her mouth met mine, and for a long, searing moment, I thought about absolutely nothing at all. Instead, I felt everything.

  When we broke apart, Tommie held my gaze for a long moment before she raised a single brow and slid effortlessly out from under the sheet and stood at the side of the bed, stretching overhead slowly. She was wearing a white tank top and black panties, and I couldn’t help but stare at her muscled back, at the curve down to her rear.

  “Do you…work out?” I asked, realizing even as I said it that it’s one of the worst pick up lines ever. She turned to me actually chuckling, and there was nothing hard about her expression—she was genuinely amused by what I’d just asked.

  “I’m a vampire,” she said, placing a hand on one hip that she then jutted out, curving toward me so that I could feel a blush rising in my cheeks. Her panties were boy briefs, and I was doing my best not to stare at them. “Vampires don’t work out,” she said then, chuckling with a smooth shrug. “We retain the body that we had when we became a vampire,” she raised her eyebrows and ran a hand down her arm, over the muscles there. “I worked in the stables when I was bitten, so I was pretty fit.” She leaned forward a little, pressing her hands to the mattress as she bent at the waist, her face close to mine. “I dressed like a boy,” she said then with a sexy smirk. “So I was given men’s work to do. And I did it.”

  I realized as I stared up at her at that moment that I didn’t really know anything about Tommie. I knew she was funny and sarcastic and gorgeous, that we were drawn to each other…but I wanted to get to know this enigmatic, charming woman. I wanted to know everything about her.

  I was realizing that for some strange reason…there was something very familiar about Tommie. Though I’d never met her in my life, it felt like I knew her. Or had known her. It was such a strange feeling that I pushed it away, running a hand through my hair absent-mindedly. I had enough to worry about without thinking something that absurd. It was obvious that there was no way that I could have ever met Tommie before. I put the thought out of my mind.

  “I’m on the schedule for today,” I told her, rolling up and out of the bed, feeling my blush intensify as her eyes made no secret about drifting down over my hardly-clothed body. “Anyway,” I muttered, clearing my throat, “I’m supposed to cover the front desk until Gwen takes over at five…” I trailed off, bit my lip, screwed up my courage. “Do you want to do something after that?” I asked, clearing my throat again. I coughed a little into my hand and tried to stand not awkwardly. It had been a really long time since a woman had seen this much of me. My breasts were almost completely visible in this practically see-through tank top, and I was only wearing panties below. It was different for Tommie, who wore much the same clothes. I didn’t feel confidant, like her, as I stood there, as that gorgeous vampire’s eyes were roving over my body like she was memorizing me.

  Tommie leaned back on her heels and shrugged elegantly. “Do you like boats?” she asked me then with a wolfish grin.

  “I like boats,” I replied, feeling the corners of my mouth turn up. Tommie’s smiles were completely infectious.

  “Well, I have a nice boat,” she said, her smirk deepening. She softened, then, too as she inclined her head toward me. “I’d like to show you my boat tonight. After the sun sets. Maybe I could take you out, get some stargazing under our belts? Possibly something else under your belt,” she said so softly that I wondered if I’d even heard her right, but then she was moving impossibly fast, and she was standing right there in front of me.

  And she was hooking her fingers into the band of my panties.

  She just hooked them there, like you hook fingers into belt loops. She was pressed against the front of me, her chill body making my arms break out into goose flesh, even as another shiver raced through me.

  “That…that sounds like it’d be wonderful,” I told her, and I reached my hands up and wrapped my fingers around her waist. I felt her muscles beneath my palms, and something akin to hunger went through me.

  “Good. Six o’clock,” she said quietly, winking at me before stepping back. “Let’s meet out front?”

  “Sure,” I said, and I knew that my voice had squeaked when I’d said it, but I managed to run a frazzled hand through my hair and take a deep breath. I smiled tentatively at her.

  This was all so new to me. I had to carefully not think about Kane, and then things were sort of all right. If I didn’t think about anything, actually, all of my feelings could just kick in. Yes. I wouldn’t think about things.

  “You’ll have to speak to Kane about getting your lock changed back,” said Tommie quietly then.

  And all of my thoughts became, inevitably, about Kane.

  “Sure,” I said, biting my lip as I turned away from her, picking up my maid’s outfit from the foot of the bed. I didn’t want Tommie to see how even the mere mention of Kane’s name affected me. I plucked at the hem of the too-short dress as I shifted it from one arm to the other. “Um…” I realized, glancing down at the thing and very forcefully pushing all thoughts of Kane from my mind. “I have to go get dressed, get ready for work,” I told her, holding up the flimsy dress from last night. “I’ll head to Gwen’s room, but I can’t exactly walk up the stairs or the hallways dressed like…um…” I waved down to myself and the tank tops and panties and made a grimace.

  “Why not?” asked Tommie, leaning back against her bedpost with another wicked grin.

  I raised a single eyebrow as I smiled at her, shaking my head.

  “All right, all right,” she muttered with a low chuckle. “You can borrow whatever you want,” she told me, indicating her large, antique wardrobe with a sweep of her arm. “Anyway,” she told me, glancing at the stark clock on the opposite side of the room. Both plain hands of the clock were pointing to seven. “I’ve got to get going,” she said with a soft sigh. “We’re having a…well, I suppose a meeting,” she said, raising her brow as she peeled her tank top up and over her shoulders with absolutely no ceremony.

  I blushed scarlet and stared down at the wooden floor, but not before I’d seen her in her entirety.

  Her breasts were small, her nipples dark, and every curve of her was perfect.

  I felt the floor fall out beneath me, because a war had just broken out inside of me. I’d been trying to ignore it and deny it, but it broke out all the same.

  My feelings for Kane were violently and bitterly in battle with my feelings for Tommie.

  Both women were so utterly different. How I’d felt for Anna was nothing like how I felt about Kane, and what I felt for Kane was absolutely nothing of how I felt for Tommie. I had affectionately and fiercely loved Anna. And, with Kane, there was a bone-deep knowledge that there was something between us.

  But, strangely enough, I felt that there was something between Tommie and I, too. It was just…different.

  I realized, in that moment, that I was feeling very, very confused. I needed to figure out what was happening inside of me, try to sort out these millions of strong feelings and figure out what I really wanted. I needed time alone to myself, to think.

  But I wasn’t going to get that. I had to work.

  “Thank you,” I told Tommie, then, taking a deep gulp of air as I realized that I hadn’t yet thanked her for her offer to let me borrow anything in her wardrobe. I pulled the wide wardrobe doors open and began rummaging through her immaculately hung clothes. Each piece of clothing resided on a separate wooden hanger, and it was as neat as
a pin inside of the wardrobe, everything hung in one orderly line.

  Unsurprisingly, there were only suits lining the walls of the wardrobe. Tommie came up behind me, still completely naked on top and only wearing her boy short panties, and pulled the drawer open at the bottom of the wardrobe.

  “I have other things in here,” she said, crouching down beside me. I hazarded a glance at her, at the sculpted shoulders and narrowing in at her waist that was, at once, so strong and yet so feminine. She was still her powerful self, even without a shirt, but there was also a trace of the vulnerability that she showed when she slept. I liked that. I liked to know that there was something soft about her, that she wasn’t all aggression and sarcasm all the time. That she could even be softer.

  Tommie pulled something blue out of the bottom drawer and stood, holding it out to me. I stared at it in shock.

  It was actually a dress.

  There was not a single moment where I assumed that Tommie had ever worn this, or that it actually belonged to her. “How do you have this?” I asked her, taking the garment and being careful to stare at it and not at her. It was a very pretty dress, perhaps the kind that someone might wear to the office, complete with a black belt that I hadn’t seen at first that dangled from the loops at the sides.

  “Well…” she said, and trailed off, grabbing a shirt off one of the hangers and tossing it over her shoulders, sliding her arms in and beginning to button herself up at the lowest button. She was taking it slowly, I realized, as she stared at me unblinkingly with flashing eyes. “Someone…left it,” she said softly then, the words barely audible. Then she straightened her shoulders, finished buttoning the shirt up to her neck. “I want to be up front with you about things. This time…” she said, leaning forward and taking my hands in her own cold fingers and drawing them up to clasp them tightly to her heart. “This time is different,” she said the words firmly as she stared into my gaze, pinning me to the spot with a dazzling intensity.