Super: Origins

by Palladian

“I understand you have a young man. I'm guessing you want to see him again.” Lex swallowed, feeling uncomfortable and found out, then nodded. “All right,” Mr. Chen continued, “I think we can finish our training today at noon, since I don't think it will be productive to go any longer than that. However, I'm going to expect you to be fully with me until then. Agreed?”

  Lex nodded and smiled with relief. “Yes, thanks, Mr. Chen!”

  He had a definite twinkle in his eye as he turned back to the mirror and began instruction again. Lex threw herself into the forms and before she knew it, noon had arrived. When he excused her, Lex smiled wide and bowed deeply to him, thanking him. Quickly, she ran upstairs, threw some of her strategy books and a notebook into her backpack, and grabbed her purse and travel bag so that she could bring some more things with her when she came back at the end of the weekend.

  As she passed the kitchen, she swung inside and left a note on the table to Casey, letting her friend know she’d left for home and would return Sunday night. Making sure she had her cardkey, Lex darted out the door, heading for the metro and home.

  Chapter 8: Endings

  Lex swayed on the handrail in the metro, grinning crazily at her own reflection in the glass doors of the train. Her longing to see Kurt had left her completely restless, so she tried to calm herself by thinking about what they might do over the weekend. She’d shower and change once she got home, maybe call him at work to let him know she’d arrived, and then when he got home…

  Lex realized the train ride had ended as she heard her stop being called, and she quickly tripped out of the train. Heading to the escalator out of the metro, she bounded up, sometimes two stairs at a time, laughing.

  Several minutes later, after having hurried down the sidewalks and run up all five flights of stairs, Lex arrived, winded, at the front door of the condo she and Kurt shared. She fumbled for her keys in her purse, trying to find where she’d left them after two weeks of disuse, and eventually eased the door open. To her confusion, she heard voices inside.

  She froze and listened. Actually, it was one voice: Kurt's. Her heart leapt, and again she grinned to herself. Lex quietly eased inside and shut the door silently. She began creeping down the long front hall, determined to surprise her fiancé. His voice began to resolve into words.

  “No, no, it's a fair trade. Probably more than fair; it's my dream job.”

  Lex heard the slight buzz of the person on the other end of the phone responding to Kurt’s earlier statement as she moved about halfway down the hall.

  “No, it's really not that bad to have to break things off with Lex in exchange. I can always find someone else, but I will miss the sex.”

  Feeling as if she’d been lanced through by an iron bar dropped from the ceiling, Lex froze a few feet before the end of the hallway. Her suddenly dry mouth tasted harshly of dust and defeat.

  “I know she doesn’t look it, but she really is a good fuck! I’ve been thinking for a while, though, that I’d have to break things off with her eventually. She's just so weird sometimes, and those scars!”

  Kurt laughed then, the sound causing Lex's guts to wrench. Her forehead had broken out in a sweat, and she still felt frozen to the spot, unable to talk or move.

  “You should have seen how much trouble it was to find a dress for her that didn't show those nasty things off! If it's all right, though, I think I'll wait a couple of months until the official break up…you know, I can't take you being away all the time, that sort of thing. At least until then I know I can still get laid every other weekend.”

  Lex could hear the murmuring response of the person on the other end of the phone, and it sounded amazingly loud in her ears now. Her body had started to move again, and she shook with adrenaline. The anger that had settled in her head felt like the fast-forward replay of a fiery bud blooming into a monstrous, poisonous red flower. Everything else seemed to move in slow motion around her as she covered the final feet of the dimly lit hallway and entered the sunny kitchen to face her former lover, who’d been sitting at the kitchen table having a cup of tea along with his conversation. She came in so quickly that he only had time to register her presence before she spoke.

  Lex wrenched the engagement ring off her finger and launched it in his general direction. “You rot in hell, you fucking asshole.”

  She watched as his expression finally changed as he realized what her presence there might mean, but much too late. Lex saw her carelessly tossed ring spin in the air, and watched the diamond or the prong open an inch-long cut under one of Kurt’s cheekbones as it sailed past him to land on the floor. Before the blood started flowing Lex had turned, still shaking with fury, one hand in a fist so tight her fingernails pierced her palm.

  Got to get out of here, Lex thought to herself, almost choking on the feel of the tight space of the condo and her anger, which continued to grow frighteningly large. She crossed the living room to reach the bedroom and for some reason she couldn't later recall, took all of her underwear out of the top drawer and packed it into her travel bag. Her gaze spun unevenly around the room as she tried to think about other things she might need, but all that came to mind were her spare pair of sneakers and her coat. She grabbed them out of the closet, fitting the sneakers into her backpack on top of her books and throwing her coat over the top of her travel bag. Slinging the bags over her shoulders again, Lex moved quickly back out into the living room.

  Her guts twisted once more as she saw Kurt there, a wet paper towel pressed to the cut on his cheek. “Lex, let's talk about this.”

  Fire seemed to flame behind Lex's eyes, and somewhere in her mind she could see herself beginning by beating on him, then progressing to twisting all of his lifeless limbs into shapes they never could have formed unbroken. She responded with an effort. “I don't want to talk to you.”

  She rapidly moved to the shelf under the TV to pick up the albums that she kept her CDs and DVDs in and packed them into her travel bag. It didn't leave much room, but her gaze fell on the bookshelves next to the big picture window and she went to them, determined to pull a few of her very favorites to take with her today.

  “Lex, honey,” Kurt began.

  Something snapped in Lex's mind, and she turned to face him. “What? What is it you want from me? There's no reason for you to break up with me now for your new job; consider me pawned off. Or are you going to try to tell me that conversation I overheard was some sort of joke?” Lex cursed her hopeful heart as it leapt at the thought, even as she looked Kurt in the eye and could tell from his guilty expression that everything she’d heard had been true. “Just leave me alone,” she finally managed, trying to ignore the heavy pain in her chest.

  Lex turned to the bookshelf and began to grab a few volumes as quickly as she could. She moved instinctively when she felt the hand on her, and turned to see her former fiancé bent over in pain as she kept the hand she had pulled off of her shoulder in a joint lock. Oddly, she realized she’d felt nothing when she touched him, that electric tingle she’d become used to when their skin met now gone.

  For some reason, the automatic motion of her body and seeing Kurt nearly kneeling before her, his face twisted in pain, turned Lex's anger very cold.

  “Don't touch me, you spoiled brat. You have no right to anymore.”

  “But, Lex—”

  She felt a flash of hot anger as she saw the look on his face, like he still thought he could talk his way out of this. Lex shook her head, trying to clear it. “You don't even get it, do you?” Kurt's expression held confusion now. Lex sighed, suddenly feeling tired and realizing her tight throat ached.

  “I’ll try to explain,” Lex continued, even though she suddenly felt the gap of understanding between them must be the size of the Grand Canyon. “Being as privileged as you are, I doubt it's ever been a problem for you to get more things, find another school to go to, get another job, or find someone else to fuck. For me, everything I have I've had to struggle for, so it’s all very precious to m
e.” She paused, sucking in a big breath to try to calm herself. “Do you have any idea what you just did to me? You might as well have stabbed me in the back for real.”

  Lex watched as Kurt's eyes slid to the side, trying to evade hers. She made a sound somewhere between a snort of derisive laughter and a growl as her anger bumped up another notch and she continued.

  “You don’t even understand that you should probably be afraid now. I can tell you're thinking you can somehow win me back over and that we can be friends. Well, forget it, it isn't going to happen.”

  Kurt looked at her a little sullenly then. “Afraid! Of you?”

  Lex felt a chill run down her spine as cold anger flowed back in again and she glowered down at him. “Don't you know that with what I can do, I could easily kill you?”

  He looked up at her, surprised, and then winced as Lex pushed on his wrist. “Oh, yes, and from what I've seen, there's absolutely nothing you could do about it. You'd be dead long before you could reach the phone to call mommy or daddy.” Lex didn’t recognize her voice; it sounded calm yet somehow triumphant and altogether deadly.

  Kurt tried to look defiantly up at her, but it seemed difficult because of his near-to-kneeling position, and the fact that a good deal of fear had mixed into his expression.

  It had been the fear that shook her. Lex felt some of her sanity return with a jolt as she got a sudden flash of herself as a child, looking up at her father, feeling the fear in her own eyes as he “taught” her this move. Her wrist had hurt for a week. She pushed on the remainder of Kurt's arm as she released the joint lock, causing him to fall to the floor on his ass.

  “I don't want to kill you, though. I want to get a few more things and leave, so stop trying to provoke me.”

  He sat there as Lex quickly grabbed a few final books, hoping her adrenaline-shaking hands actually picked the ones she wanted. She wedged them into her travel bag and stood, settling her luggage around her. When she turned to face the room, she saw Kurt still sprawled on the carpet, nursing his wrist. Lex looked away and turned to go, but glanced back after a few steps towards the door.

  “I'll be here at noon tomorrow to pick up the rest of my things,” Lex said over her shoulder. “Don't be here between noon and five. I don't ever want to see you again. You have my word that I'll only take what belongs to me, and that the rest of your apartment will be fine. Also,” Lex continued, making sure to turn a little more to look Kurt in the eye, even though he tried not to look at her, “if you already started fucking someone else while we were still together and gave me something incurable, there’s nowhere you can go where you’ll be safe. Not even your parents will be able to help you.”

  “I didn't,” he replied sullenly, still not meeting her gaze.

  Lex said nothing in return and continued walking for the door.

  For some reason, Lex couldn’t remember leaving or going downstairs, but suddenly she came to herself as she stood out on the street near the exit door of the condo building, pressing her back into the sun-warmed stone, panting and sweating. The air she breathed felt hot and thick, tasting of sour, broken dreams.

  She felt…crazy. Lex’s rage pounded through her veins, alternately hot and cold, and she couldn’t stop shaking no matter what she did. She wanted to scream, to beat on something. Well, to be precise, to beat someone. All the people passing by on the street irritated her, even though they seemed to have enough sense to give her plenty of space. It felt as if their presence, just going about their daily activities, grated on her.

  Lex struggled and tried to get herself to think more clearly. Can’t be like him, she thought, remembering the fear she’d seen in Kurt’s eyes and feeling bile rise in her throat in rejection of the image of herself equated with her father. She repeated the thought like a mantra as she tried to figure out where to go. Staying in public felt unsafe to her; Lex knew she either needed to be somewhere alone, where she could work out her anger, or somewhere everyone around her would be safe as well.

  I can go back to headquarters, her mind suddenly supplied, but the idea of getting on the metro again seemed like a big red flag to Lex in her current mood. Realizing she’d need more cash to get a taxi, Lex crossed the street as she saw an ATM with no line and then walked to a hotel on the corner where she’d often seen taxis waiting.

  She leaned her head against the greasily smeared side window once she sat in the seat behind the driver, trying to ignore the scent of mildew and the black rage in her mind. After tonelessly giving the driver the address, Lex began to mutely study what flashed by in the window without really seeing it, trying to calm herself with deep breaths. When the driver tried to engage her in small talk, Lex looked darkly at him in the rear view mirror.

  “Just drive,” she ground out.

  Lost in thought, Lex suddenly saw her expression reflected in the window glass as the taxi went under a bridge and considered how different it looked from the grin seen reflected in the train window not long before. The expression in her eyes still haunted her as the taxi burst out into the sunlight again; she looked as if she'd been in a war and lost. She had become accustomed to looking into those eyes every day during her childhood, and to see them again felt nearly unbearable. She stared at the floor then, just willing the taxi to get to headquarters as soon as possible, the tight fist in her lap beginning to shake with the effort required to hold herself together.

  Finally the cab stopped, and Lex looked up to see the now familiar squat grey building. She let out a sigh of relief as she checked the meter and took out some money, including an extra $20.

  “Thanks for the ride,” she managed, handing the wad of cash to him and getting out of the cab. Lex felt the sun beating down on her as she walked to the front door, lugging her bags. She found it strange to have felt glad upon seeing headquarters, but she felt the relief in the pit of her stomach when she swiped her cardkey and the sliding front door unlocked and slowly opened.

  Upon coming in, Lex looked swiftly about and then practically ran for the stairs when she saw no one else. She hurried down to the martial arts studio where she knew the heavy bag would be waiting for her.

  The room was empty when she arrived, but the heavy bag swung there, and Lex could almost feel it looking at her. And then she saw a vision of Kurt standing there, looking at her with contempt. Lex dropped her bags and charged forward with a growl, kicking the bag right where Kurt's head would be.

  His words started to repeat in Lex's mind and she could hear “oh, those scars!,” “good fuck,” and “it's a fair trade” over and over, making her feel as if a million stinging bees had landed on her skin. She could see Kurt instead of the heavy bag now, and punched him hard in the face. Lex saw him rock back in her mind with a bloody nose. She snorted, watching him take his hand away from his face, look at the blood on it, and then glare indignantly back at her.

  “That's nothing. Just wait,” she said, aiming a kick for his midsection.

  He doubled over when her foot landed on his stomach so she kneed him in the forehead, which brought him up to a standing position backed against the wall. She began hitting him in the midsection then, a hail of punches to different areas—his stomach, sides, and groin. Lex stopped her exertions for a moment, panting hard. She snapped her mouth shut seconds later as she realized she’d been cursing the vision of him to the rhythm of her blows.

  Once she caught her breath she kneed him again in the side, in his kidneys, and then kicked him in the face when he fell to one knee. After that, she kicked his supporting leg out from under him, and got him a couple more times as he fell to the ground. She could see him breathing afterwards, but also saw a lot of blood around his head. Well, head wounds always bleed like crazy, she thought.

  After a while, Lex blinked a few times and found herself standing alone in the half-lit martial arts studio with the heavy bag swinging like a pendulum. She’d scratched up her hands, and her chest continued to heave as if she'd run a mile sprint. The fury she'd felt seemed to m
elt away and Lex slumped forward as a crushing sense of loss washed over her, leaving her feeling like the biggest fool in the world.

  When she finally looked at herself in the mirror, Lex just stared momentarily. She tried to push her hair into some sort of order but it seemed both wild and stringy at once, and she didn't have much success. Lex found she couldn't look into her eyes for long because she again saw the dark, hopeless gaze she remembered seeing throughout her childhood, and it made her stomach clench to see that it had returned. She flinched away from the mirror and gathered her bags in order to trudge back upstairs.

  Upon emerging on the main level, Lex looked across the front hall through the kitchen door to see Casey and Serena. They appeared to be discussing something or maybe arguing. Lex stopped for a moment, wanting nothing more than to go to her room, pull the covers over her head, and forget this day had ever happened, but she somehow forced herself to head for the kitchen, knowing that she’d wanted to ask Casey to help her with tomorrow's move.

  The two of them stopped talking, Serena pausing in mid-gesture as she leaned on the kitchen island, and looked at Lex as she appeared in the doorway. Casey smiled as she saw her friend. “Hey Lex, I thought your note said that you'd gone home to see your boyfriend.”

  Lex's felt herself wince involuntarily. She quickly wiped the expression off her face but saw from Serena's interested look and Casey's concern that it hadn't gone unnoticed. Realizing that she needed to explain, Lex tried to assemble her scattered thoughts. “Uh, it didn't…didn't work out,” Lex began after clearing her throat. Her voice sounded as if it hadn’t been used in a long time.

  She thought about how to tell the story as the other women watched her intently and finally just decided to rip the bandage off quickly. “I came home to hear him talking on the phone about how he’d agreed to break up with me in exchange for a job that someone had promised him.” The words tasted so amazingly bitter on her tongue that Lex’s fists tightened automatically.