Ignite Me: Shards of Glass, Part One

by Mills, L. C.

  I started laughing. “I love our chats!” She was right. “So the fact is I'm gonna have to tidy myself up a bit!” I rolled my eyes.

  She laughed. “Get a good bikini trimmer! I'm always ready down there!”

  I laughed out loud. “So was I when I was with Sean but I've been slacking! I'll go out and buy a new one! Might order some new panties and bras too!” I grinned.

  “Oh my god yes! Sexy underwear! So the whole bondage effect is seriously sexy!” She glanced at her phone. “I'll text you the link! I think they have a UK branch! It's all silks and tie up sides!”

  I pulled a face. “Bondage really?!!”

  She rolled her eyes. “Just look at your text!” She sat back as my phone went off.

  “Okay, now looking!” I was thankful for modern technology. I opened the text and followed the links she'd sent. “Oh wow that is hot!” I looked at the silk bra, it had a quarter cup with a silk triangle that attached to the straps giving the effect of being tied up but it wasn't. It looked sexy not cheap. The panties were tied at the side by silk ribbon. “I'm so buying me those!” I bit my lip, I got the feeling he'd approve.

  “See I told you! So aside from all that. How are you?! You never answer me via text I just get skirted around!”

  I shrugged. “I get lonely sometimes and you are the only one who calls me! All my so called L.A friends don't give a shit now I'm not around! Sean keeps telling me he loves me! Threatened to come over and convince me he needed me!” I huffed. “Selfish fucker! He only wants me because he's scared, I'll move on!”

  She shook her head. “Block his number! He's the biggest dick head I've ever met!”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I'm gonna sort it on my phone later.” I had made plans to do that. I didn't want him messing things up for me.

  “I'm really sorry Evan, I'm gonna have to go! I'm going out with Dan but I'll text you later! Keep me updated on Mr. Hero hair!” She blew a kiss.

  I caught it and held it against my heart. Trying to not to cry as intense loneliness washed over me. I hated not being able to just drive to see her.

  “If you make me cry and fuck up my makeup, I'll get on a plane and kick your ass! Please don't cry!” She blinked.

  I took a deep breath. “I'm sorry I'm being emo! Have a cool time with Dan!” I blew a kiss back and cut the call. Tears rolled down my face seconds later.

  I tried to compose myself but failed. I sat and hugged my knees and sobbed.

  I ignored my phone text alert it was probably just Jess. It was cathartic to cry. I cried until I was dry of tears. I felt better like I'd released something. I picked up my phone and saw a text from Cameron.

  I pulled myself together as I read it.

  I hope you’re okay Evan, I've seen the coverage of our trip out! They got one thing right, I am besotted with you! Thank you again for the frame! I've put it on my home desk! CB.

  It was so typical Cameron to sign his text with his initials. I noticed there was a photo attached to it so I wiped my face with my jumper sleeve and opened the photo he'd sent. The smile spread across my face as I saw it. It was one of our Shard selfies. The one where he'd kissed my cheek. I downloaded it, then tapped out my reply.

  I really like that photo! And thanks for being cool about the circus that is social media! I'm glad you like the frame. X

  I hit send. It was 5pm now and I was hungry. I shut down my laptop and walked over to my freezer pulling it open. “What do I have to eat?” The one handy thing was that if I didn't have anything I wanted to eat, I could nip down to the Italian place that was just down the road from me. They made such good pizzas. I rummaged around and found a frozen pizza that'd do. My eyes were red and puffy from crying so I didn't want to go out.

  I sorted it out and placed it on the oven tray and shoved it in the oven and set the timer to remind me.

  I walked back into the lounge and flopped down onto the couch flicking on the TV to some evening program. I didn't play it much attention. I checked twitter to see what all the fuss was about.

  “Really?!” I had over 200 notifications of tags and tweets and god knows what else. I scanned them for anything important.

  I glanced at Sean's latest update.

  ‘I'm heartbroken, writing songs to stop myself doing something stupid like jumping on a plane!’

  I shook my head in disbelief. He was crying heartbreak when he'd not only broken mine, but stamped on it as well.

  I scanned his timeline out of interest and got angrier as I read down the list.

  ‘Never felt this way before, seeing that photo made me feel sick. I fuckin did this myself! Don't hate on my girl! It's my fault.’

  Reading them backwards probably didn’t help much, but he was playing the victim, acting like Cameron was the big bad wolf that had stolen his girlfriend when in reality he had driven me away himself, no one had forced him to be the way he was.

  ‘I challenge you to love her better than I did! Rich dick you don't have the first clue about how she works!’

  The blood drained my face, he'd really lost it. I noticed it had gotten several replies but the one that was most recent made my whole body come out in goose bumps.

  Cameron's account had replied to him.

  I didn't know if I wanted to look, but I figured it was best I know.

  Oh god, here goes nothing… I cringed.

  ‘You lack the skills to use the Internet Hagen! People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!’

  It was straight to the point. I clicked Cameron's link and found it was private just like he'd said. As I studied his profile I noticed he had already followed me so I could follow him back. I hit follow and then went back to my own profile.

  I was so done with Sean, and his army of fangirls all calling me names and acting like I'd just killed someone. I typed an update.

  ‘You pretty much know when it's time to cut loose! I'll be off here for a while! It's more like a circus these days! Some of you need to take a look in the mirror! See y'all on the flip side.’

  I posted it and then signed out. It felt good to sign out to know I was cut off from all of that negativity. Now all I had was Instagram and Tumblr, both of which I knew had a different atmosphere.

  My phone vibrated in my hand. It was Cameron. I opened it and read it.

  Thought I'd check you were okay! I just saw your update. CB. X

  Oh wow, he added a kiss. That is a kiss right? Does he know that’s a kiss?! It’s so a kiss…

  I ignored my internal monolog, it was just distracting me. I sighed, was I okay?! I didn’t feel okay, but I felt relief mostly.

  I not okay, but I will be! I just need to block him from all aspects of my life! X

  I hit send. It was a few moments before my phone beeped again. I smiled.

  It makes sense! He's out of control! If you need me to come over, if need someone to talk to, I will make time for you! CB. X

  Eeeepp another kiss…

  I loved that he cared enough to do that, but I just wanted to eat my pizza and go to bed.

  Thank you, that's really kind of you, but I'm okay, I'm gonna eat pizza, watch a trashy film and go to sleep! I'll see you tomorrow! Thank you for being so thoughtful, I truly appreciate it X

  I hit send. A few seconds later he replied.

  I'll be thinking of you Evangeline! If you want company you only have to ask! X

  I smiled.

  Thank you. X

  The buzzer for the oven went off and I got up and went to sort it out. Leaving my phone on the couch.

  After dinner, I sat down to sort some business stuff out. I fiddled around with my phone settings working out how to block Sean's number and those of all the other members of his band, because I knew he'd try their phones to ring me or text me once he couldn't get hold of me via his own. After that task was done, I got around to uploading the latest bracelet design how-to-video I'd been meaning to do for ages now, it was part of what I did. I mad
e handcrafted jewellery and uploaded instructional videos on how to make them! It was a good little earner and outside of my song writing it was what I enjoyed doing I'd just been getting behind. It was already edited so all I had to do was upload it to my blog site, I never gave them the exact same design! Just something similar for the kids that couldn't afford mine. I set it to upload and then started to print out the postage labels for all the bracelets I'd sold in the pre-sale that had finished Monday.

  I felt in control doing this. I knew what I was doing! This was my thing! After printing the labels out, I set about the task of packing and attaching the shipping label to the envelopes. After almost two hours and 200 envelopes later I was finally finished.

  “Omg who's idea was this to fulfil my own orders?” I groaned and got up grabbing my phone I took a photo and uploaded it to Instagram with the caption.

  ‘Thank The Lord, I didn't have to lick all these! Your pre-orders are going out ASAP Thursday! Peace out! #AllBoxedOut #Distraction #Prettythings

  I scanned the notifications and found Cameron had followed me. I grinned as I hit follow and went back to see the comments posted on my envelope pile photo. I grinned as I recognized some of the people that had ordered before. It was a real privilege that people spent their money on my items. I never took that for granted. My phone alerted me to the fact Cameron had approved my follow. I felt my heart beat a little faster as I went to snoop on his account like he had mine. He'd got quite a few photos, mostly scenery shots. I grinned as I clicked on a photo of a whole drawer of bow ties and ties all neatly folded into the little square slots.

  “Wow bordering on obsession there!” He'd got hundreds by the looks of it. Bow ties on men were sexy!

  I scanned the rest of the photos. He really hadn't been joking when he said he wasn't a selfie fan. As I was looking I noticed I'd been tagged in a photo. I went to check it out and felt my face split into a wide grin. Cameron had tagged me in two photos. One of us in the lift and one at the top. I grinned and double tapped both. He had put the same caption on both.

  The only time I've ever wanted to take a selfie! With the stunning Miss Watson! #Shard #TheShard #ThereisSomethingaboutlifs #London

  It had several likes.

  I distracted myself from his photos by starting to load up the envelopes into the two plastic crates they were getting picked up on Thursday. I was actually feeling really tired, so I decided to go to bed. It was now 10pm. I knew I had to be up by 9am to get the crates down for delivery. I changed into my long T-shirt and got into bed, I lay gazing at the ceiling just thinking things over when my phone vibrated on my bedside table. I reached over and picked it up. I thought it might be Jess, but it was Cameron.

  Sweet dreams! CB. X

  I grinned as I read it as I typed a reply.

  For once I am actually in bed! Sweet dreams to you too! X

  I hit send and rolled over in bed and fell asleep.

  chapter 10

  I smacked the alarm with my hand as the shrill noise reverberated around my bedroom. Surely it wasn't 8.30am yet?! I opened one eye and groaned, finally making contact with it to turn it off. My ears rang as silence returned.

  “Ugh!”

  I pulled myself out of bed, pulling on the same sweat pants from last night and the same oversized jumper and made my way to the lounge. I'd get dressed properly after I'd taken it all down. I turned on the kettle and waited for it to boil, pulling the milk from the fridge. I'd never quite managed to drink coffee without it. I stuck a teaspoon and a half of instant coffee into my favourite mug with one sugar and added the milk mixing it around making a paste. I stepped back as I poured the boiling hot water into the mug to avoid the stray splashes.

  I gave it a good stir and waited a few minutes to let it cool before downing half of it. I felt the caffeine hit my system, my eyes widening and my heart rate going up. I was now awake. I rang down to the front desk.

  “Hey is Damon in yet?!”

  I always wondered if they thought something funny was going on as I always asked for him.

  “You're talking to him! You sound half asleep!” He laughed.

  I felt myself blush and became annoyed at myself. “I'm only a quarter down my first coffee! I was wondering if you'd give me a hand carrying two crates of envelopes down so I can have them collected!” I glanced over at the boxes near the front door.

  “Is that all I'm good for?!” He had a playful tone to his voice, but I wondered if somewhere in that he actually meant it.

  “No, you’re good for loads of things! Driving me around on the back of your motorbike! Being super awesome and did I mention I'll buy you food tonight if your free as a bribe?!” It was an impulse to offer to buy him food tonight, but it was the coffee speaking.

  He laughed. “I'm kinda doing something till 7pm but we can grab food after that!” I knew he must have been alone at the desk because he spoke freely!

  “So does that mean you’re helping me?! I'll be ready in like 10!”

  “I'm on my way up! The things I do for pizza!” He laughed, then the line went dead.

  I put the phone down and found a pair of converse and pulled them on. I picked up the printed postage slip for the shipping company to scan.

  The doorbell rang out as I unlocked the door, pulling it open. “Hey!” I grinned as I saw him stood waiting.

  “Have you just woken up?!” He stepped in and studied me.

  I suddenly became aware that I hadn't put on a bra as his eyes lingered over me.

  “Pretty much! Thanks for helping me with this! They aren't heavy as such just awkward!” I pointed to the two plastic crates stuffed with envelopes.

  He grinned. “It's fine! Plus, you’re getting me pizza so...” He winked at me.

  I smirked. “You only like me for the pizza!”

  He held his hand over his heart. “I am deeply wounded by that!”

  I grabbed my door keys and dropped them into my pocket and picked up the smallest box. “Let's roll!”

  He raised a brow at me and picked up the biggest one, as we left the apartment, I heard my door click locked behind us.

  I juggled my box so I could call the lift.

  We waited a moment for the lift to roll up and as the doors rolled open we both walked in.

  “So what the heck is all of this?!” He glanced at the contents of his box.

  I grinned. “I make jewelry! I do a pre-sale each month, meaning people can order them and then I make what is sold and ship them out! I do my own fulfilment!”

  He nodded his head. “Oh, I see! Cool.”

  I turned to face him as the lift stopped at level 3 letting someone in. It wasn't that I didn't want to be seen with bed hair, I hardly brushed it anyway because of the bleach so that made no difference I just didn't want people to know where I lived.

  I knew it was a woman because I could almost taste her perfume! It smelt like she'd fallen into the bottle.

  “Can't you take things like that down in the service lift?!”

  I cringed as I heard the voice. It sounded like Erin. Her snooty tones. Surely she didn't live here?!

  I turned around. “And why should I use that lift when this comes with my apartment!”

  It wasn't her. It just sounded like her. The women had long brunette hair and green eyes which went wide as she took me in. “Oh, sorry with the way you're dressed I just assumed you were staff or something.”

  She raised a brow.

  I sucked a breath in. “Oh, why don't you pull that stick out of your ass! Anyone would think it was a crime to wear sweat pants!” My accent made it sound sassier than I'd meant.

  Damon stepped forward. “You don't live here Miss! You are a guest and if you want to continue coming here, then I'd advise you not to be rude to the residents that do live here!” He sounded angry.

  She studied him. “Well, I said sorry!” She turned her back on us both huffing.

  “No, I'm sorry that was
rude of me!” I tried to reel myself back in. I'd said quite enough and I didn't want the hassle.

  She didn't say another word. Damon eyed me with interest. The lift stopped and the doors rolled open. The woman walked out without a backwards glance. I let a breath go.

  “Well, what a stuck up cow! She doesn't even live here! She's dating one of the dudes on level three.” He walked out into the reception and placed the box down.

  I placed mine next to his and sighed. “I don't think I should drink coffee on an empty stomach!”

  He smiled at me. “As if we'd have staff wearing that anyways” He frowned.

  I placed my hand on my hip. “Are you trying to say I look scruffy?!” I grinned at him.

  I saw the delivery van pull up and I bent down to pick up the box.

  He laughed. “No, not at all! I wouldn't dare!”

  I smirked. “At least I get all of these out of my way!”

  He followed me out with the box.

  “Collection for Watson?!” I asked as the driver climbed out the truck.

  He smiled and nodded. “Yep, just need the slip to scan, then I can take them all away!” He smiled.

  I put the box down and handed him the paper. He scanned it and then undid the side of the van. Sliding the door back. He picked up my first box and then Damon handed him his.

  “Right all sorted! See you next time!” He smiled as he locked up the door.

  “Thank you!” I called as me and Damon walked back into the reception.

  “Thanks for that Damon! I'll shout you that pizza later! I'm off back up to get breakfast! I'm going out at 1pm!” I smiled.