An Unconditional Love (BWWM Romance Book 1)

by Shanade White

  Tomorrow he was going to have to insist she see a doctor whether she liked it or not. It was probably just a virus but he knew for a fact that she’d eaten little over the last few days, her appetite seemed to have vanished with the fatigue. He had a meeting early the next morning, but once that was over, he’d pick her up and take her to the doctor. Feeling better, he too fell asleep.

  The next morning Lauren felt Cole stirring beside her, then get up. She knew he had an early meeting this morning and would be out of the house early. Her impulse was to get up and see him off, but when she tried to move, her limbs felt heavy and it was just too much. As she was falling back to sleep, she was vaguely aware of Cole kissing her on the cheek. It should have been a red flag that she couldn’t even wake up enough to kiss him goodbye, but she was so tired sleep over took her before her brain could process the thought.

  But when she woke up a few hours later and tried to get out of bed to use the bathroom, she found that she could barely walk. To make matters worse, her joints were swollen, making the trip to the bathroom seem like a monumental feat. Once back in bed, she pulled the covers up to her chin and forced herself to face the facts that were staring her in the face this morning.

  It was time to face the facts, everything she was experiencing was just what her mother had experienced during the early stages of her illness. MS could come in many forms and Lauren’s symptoms were right in line with those her mother had suffered from. Once she’d fully formed that thought, it couldn’t be ignored anymore. She was almost as old as her mother had been when she’d first had symptoms.

  Suddenly in a panic, she knew she needed to get out of Cole’s house. The last thing she needed right now was his kindness and concern, it would be more than she could bare right now. She needed to be alone to think, to decide what to do now. One thing was clear to her, no matter what she wasn’t going to put Cole through what she’d been through.

  It would be too much to ask of him, they’d talked about it, but he really had no idea how terrible MS was. Watching her mother struggle for all those years had been more painful than anything she’d ever experienced in her life. It had left a part of her permanently damaged, she wasn’t going to do that to Cole.

  She managed to call Sadie to have her come pick her up, she refused to give her any reason, just asked her to come. Then she got dressed, something that should have been easy, but proved to be a major accomplishment. After she scribbled a note to Cole explaining that she needed some time to herself, she stumbled down the stairs and outside where Sadie was waiting for her.

  Sadie took one look at Lauren and said, “I’m taking you to the doctor.”

  “No you’re not. It’s just a virus. All I want is to go home to my own bed.” Lauren said, a stubborn look on her face.

  “But Lauren....” Sadie started to argue but Lauren cut her off.

  “Sadie please just take me home. I’ll be fine, I just need a little more sleep.”

  Sadie didn’t believe her, but knew when Lauren got that look there was nothing she could do to change her mind. But the minute Lauren stumbled up the stairs after refusing Sadie’s help, she was on the phone to Cole.

  “Something is really wrong with Lauren. She called me to pick her up from your house to take her home, but I think she should be going to the doctor.” She said, the concern in her voice clear.

  “I told her I was going to take her when I got home today.” He said, feeling annoyed that she’d obviously run away.

  “Well, she clearly has other plans, but Cole she could barely walk.”

  “I’m leaving right now. She’s going to the doctor whether she likes it or not.”

  Lauren awoke hours later to someone knocking on her front door, she tried to get out of bed, but her legs wouldn’t work. In fact none of her muscles would respond the way she wanted them to. Frustrated, she tried to move, but all that did was exhaust her even further.

  Things had gotten so much worse in just the last few hours, a sure sign she was facing exactly what she’d thought she was. MS was making itself known, just as it had in her mother. The thought of what was to come was almost more than she could handle, her life was over, there would be no more adventures in her future, only sickness and frustration.

  She was pulled from those thoughts by the sound of her front door opening. She couldn’t remember if she’d locked it or not, and was suddenly scared about who it might be. But then she heard Cole calling her name, she didn’t have to answer because in the next second he came into her bedroom, clearly not happy.

  “What were you thinking? Why did you run away?” Cole said, sitting down on the side of the bed. “You need to go see the doctor.”

  “I’m fine. It’s just a virus, I wanted my own bed. Is that a crime?” She tried to sound angry but it came out whiny instead.

  “No Lauren, it’s more than that and you know it and running away isn’t going to help this time.”

  “I didn’t run away. I just don’t need you to take care of me Cole.” She said, trying to make him mad.

  “Yes you do. We all need someone to take care of us sometimes.” He said, taking her hand. “It’s what we do when we love someone.”

  Lauren tried to pull her hand out of his, but she didn’t have the strength, the best she could do was make her arm twitch a little bit. Cole didn’t seem to notice, but continued to talk. “Lauren you have to go to the doctor and find out what’s wrong. I’m worried about you.”

  “I never asked you to worry about me.” She said, stubbornly, hoping he’d get mad and leave.

  “Well, whether you like it or not, I am worried. Don’t you get it, I love you. It’s that simple, I love you and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  Lauren could feel the tears building, then rolling down her cheeks. It was both wonderful and horrible to hear him say that. She should have been happy, but she knew what the future held for her and she wasn’t going to put Cole thought that. She loved him too much for that. The realization that she loved him, made the tears come even faster.

  “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”

  “No, it’s not.” She said, trying harder to pull her hand from his.

  This time Cole noticed the movement and her inability to pull her hand away. He looked down at their joined hands then back up. “What’s going on Lauren?”

  “I can’t....” She couldn’t finish her sentence, a big sob blocking her words.

  “Hey, come here. It can’t be that bad.” Cole said, sliding up next to her and pulling her into his arms.

  They sat in silence while she got herself under control, finally she managed to say, “I can barely move my arms and legs. It’s MS, I just know it. My mother had the same symptoms when it first started for her.”

  Cole’s heart sank when he heard her words, but he also thought that it was a bit too soon to assume the worst. “Hey, we don’t know that for sure. Let’s get you to the doctor before we panic.”

  “There’s no we in this.” Lauren said, conviction in her voice. “I’m not going to put you through that. I’ll be fine on my own.”

  “Don’t think for a second that you’re going to push me away. You can’t run from me either, so just get it though you’re head that we’re in this together.”

  “But Cole you can’t possibly understand what it’s going to be like. It’s going to be terrible, I can’t ask you to take care of me.”

  “You don’t have to, I’m going to say this once more. I love you Lauren and we’re going to face this together. Now I’m going to carry you to my car and we’re going to the hospital.”

  “But Cole....” Lauren tried to explain again but he cut her off.

  “There’s no 'but Cole’ in this. I want to be with you no matter what the circumstances. I’ll take whatever time we have together and be happy with it. I still think you’re worried for nothing, but I’m here for the duration and I don’t want to discuss it anymore.” He said, looking dee
ply into her eyes.

  Lauren was too tired to fight with him anymore, he’d find out soon enough what he’d just promised her, but when the time came she’d let him know that he could leave her anytime. That thought made her want to cry, hearing him say he loved her had sparked a small hope inside her. A hope that maybe he was right and they’d have a happy life together.

  She knew without a doubt she loved him too, but would that love be able to survive the trials that were to come. Putting her faith in Cole would be the scariest thing she had ever done, but something deep inside was telling her that she could trust him, that he’d stick with her no matter what. She’d never let anyone have that kind of power in her life, but she wanted more than anything else to believe that Cole was the one person she could trust with it.

  “Come on. Let’s get you out of here and to someone who can help. It’s going to be okay, no matter what they say. We’ve got each other, that’s a lot more than most people have.” Cole said, gathering her up in his arms and carrying her out to the car.

  Sadie was waiting in her car in the alley, her concern clear on her face. Cole settled her in the back seat, buckled her in, and covered her with a blanket to keep her warm. “You didn’t think I’d let you go without me, did you?” Sadie said, patting Lauren’s leg.

  Chapter 11

  When they arrived at the hospital they were met at the doors by a nurse who led them to a private room. Cole refused the use of a wheelchair, instead carrying Lauren the whole way, then gently set her on the bed. The nurse informed them that the doctor would be there shortly, then left the room.

  In only a matter of minutes the doctor had bustled into the room, introduced himself and started asking questions. Lauren poured out not only her symptoms but her fears, talking as fast as she could to get through it without crying.

  The doctor finally interrupted her, “Let’s not jump to any conclusions. It’s entirely possible you only have a case of Mononucleosis or a similar illness that some antibiotics should clear up with no problem.” He said.

  “Do you really think it’s something that simple?” Lauren asked, hope springing to life.

  “Yes, I really do. But just to be on the safe side I’m going to admit you and run some tests. It’s going to be a long afternoon, but I bet by tomorrow morning we’ll have some answers.” He continued.

  “See, I told you that it was going to be okay.” Cole said, sitting down on the bed with her.

  “Thank you, doctor. I feel much better already.” Lauren said, sinking back into the pillows.

  “I’m going to start you on some IV antibiotics just as a precaution, it might be that you’ll be feeling better before we get the tests back.” He said, making a few final notes on her chart. “I’ll check back with you in a few hours.”

  For the rest of the day Lauren was poked and prodded, had what felt like a gallon of blood drawn and given up other body fluids upon demand. By dinner time, she was exhausted and a little bit grumpy. The evening meal they offered her was less than appetizing and she pushed it away only wanting to sleep.

  Cole tried to talk her into at least eating the pudding, but she refused to eat the rest after the first bite, making a face at the taste. The whole experience was beginning to get to Cole, who had spent the day trying to keep his emotions under control, her stubborn refusal to eat only added to his frustration.

  It just wasn’t fair that he’d waited all this time to find the right woman and now she was lying in a hospital bed with an unknown illness. He’d been stubbornly pushing any thoughts of MS or any other kind of devastating disease out of his head all day, it just couldn’t happen to them. All his plans would be destroyed and he had lots of plans for his life with Lauren.

  “Come on it can’t be that bad.” He snapped at her, then took a bite. The pudding was so gross he was barely able to swallow it. With a grimace he put it back on her dinner tray.

  “Told you.” Lauren said, laughing for the first time that day.

  Cole was so relieved to see her smiling and laughing, he seriously considered taking another bite. Instead he picked up his phone and made a quick call. In a matter of minutes there was a knock on the door and Sadie poked her head in.

  Lauren could smell the food she’d brought before she got all the way through the door. “I ran down to the café and brought you guys some dinner. Lauren gets the chicken noodle soup and Cole you’ve got a cheese burger and fries.”

  Sadie bustled around the room, removing the offensive dinner tray the hospital had provided and replacing it with a steaming container of homemade soup. It smelled so good that Lauren actually found she was hungry. As much as she hated it, she let Sadie feed her the entire bowl full, her hunger over riding her embarrassment.

  As soon as she was finished, Sadie said her goodbye’s, promising to return the next morning. Cole had finished his meal long before then and was leaned back in the chair, eyes closed, resting. He’d had a long day too and it showed. His clothes were rumpled, his hair was a mess, and there were dark circles under his eyes.

  “You should go home and get some sleep. Nothing else is going to happen tonight. I’m in good hands.” Lauren finally said.

  “I don’t want to leave you. I think I should stay the night.” He said, stubbornly.

  “I want you to stay too, but I also want you to get some sleep. You can’t take care of me if you don’t take care of yourself.” She said, having learned that lesson herself years ago.

  Cole rose from the chair and stretched, “I’ll stay until visiting hours are over, but if you look at all worse I’m staying.” He said, getting in the bed with her.

  “What are you doing? We’re going to get in trouble.” Lauren said, then let him snuggle her in his arms.

  “I’m using some physical therapy on you.” He said, “I read that physical contact can be quite good for the ill.”

  “Hmm, I don’t know if that’s true, but it sounds good to me.” She said, content to let him hold her.

  She fell asleep almost immediately, a deep dreamless sleep that was rudely interrupted by a nurse coming in. “You should not be in bed with the patient.” She said, loudly.

  “Why not?” Cole said, clearly annoyed that she’d woken Lauren so abruptly.

  “Because it’s just not done.” The woman said, slamming the IV kit she’d brought with her down on the counter.

  Cole slid out of the bed, shooting the woman a dirty look. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to put in a catheter so we can give her some antibiotics and fluids. It should have been done hours ago, but somehow the order got lost, now I have to stay late and do it.” She said, still slamming things.

  Cole started to open his mouth and tell the woman what he thought of her attitude, but Lauren jumped in and said, “I’m sorry you have to stay late for me.”

  This seemed to deflate the woman’s anger, she took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Let’s get you squared away.”

  Lauren shot Cole a pleading look so he excused himself and went out into the hallway. When he came back in, both women were smiling, Lauren had evidently been able to lighten the woman’s mood.

  “Okay you’re all set. The night nurse will be in to start the fluids and antibiotics, I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, Mary Anne. Now get home to your kids.” Lauren said, giving her a big smile. “And bring pictures tomorrow.”

  “I will. Sleep well.”

  Cole just looked at Lauren for a minute, then said, “How did you do that?”

  “My mother was sick for a long time and I learned that the more the nurses and doctors like you, the better the care. I’ve cultivated the ability to make even the grumpiest of care giver smile.” Lauren said, shrugging her shoulders.

  “You never cease to amaze me.” Cole said, wanting more than anything in the world to climb into that bed and make love to her right there. Instead he settled for
crossing the room, taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

  When he’d finished kissing her, Lauren laughed and said, “Apparently whatever is wrong with me doesn’t interfere with my sex drive. If we weren’t in a hospital I’d drag you into this bed and show you.”

  Cole loved the sound of Lauren’s laughter and was tempted to do just what she’d suggested, but just then a nurse came in. “Visiting hours are over, time for the patient to rest.”

  “Can you give us just a few minutes alone?”

  “I will, but only a few. I need to get these started.” She said, holding up the vials of antibiotics, then leaving the room.

  “Go home and get some sleep, I’ll be right here in the morning.” Lauren said, before Cole could suggest staying the night again.

  “I hired a private nurse to come in and help. I don’t like the idea that things are getting missed. I should stay until she gets here.”

  “Cole you shouldn’t have done that. I don’t need a private nurse and the rest of the staff isn’t going to like it.” She said, hating the fact that he was spending that kind of money on her when it wasn’t necessary. “That’s going to cost a fortune.”

  “Lauren, what good is my money if I can’t spend it when I want. This is something I want to do. I already talked to the night supervisor, they’d take whatever help they can get, they’re shorthanded.”

  “Well, then even more reason for you to go home. I’m in good hands.”

  “I’ll be back first thing in the morning.” He promised, kissing her with all the emotion he was feeling.

  “I love you Cole.” She said, trying not to cry.

  “I love you too, Lauren. I’ll see you in the morning. Get better.” He said, then walked out the door before he changed his mind.