Edge of Retribution

by Jacob Chance

  My breath halts inside my chest for a moment. Wait. What? Why is he telling me this?

  “No one ever told me how bad your gunshot wounds were. I wasn’t even sure if you lived or died. Karyn told me you’d be fine, but part of me assumed she might’ve said that to ease my concern. What happened once they rushed you off in the ambulance?” I change the subject, but I also want to know the answer to my question.

  “The ambulance ride is a blur. I got rushed into surgery and then spent a week in the hospital. I was out of work on leave for a month. I healed up faster than you’d think and I’m good as new. I’ve got some cool battle scars to show for it.”

  I roll my eyes at him for making light of what he went through. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried you didn’t survive.”

  “Come on. Me? Two gunshots and a knife wound, and I’m still here. I might be immortal.”

  A shiver ghosts up my spine and I scowl. “Don’t say stuff like that.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s tempting fate to prove you wrong.”

  “Is that what you believe?”

  “What?”

  “That we’re not in control of our own destinies and we’re pawns being manipulated by a greater power.”

  I shrug. He does make it sound a little absurd.

  “Do you really think God is like some mean kid with a giant magnifying glass burning us like we’re ants?”

  I giggle. “No, definitely not. I’m not sure how it all works, but I do believe in not tempting fate, just to be safe.”

  “You need to live on the edge more. Stick with me and I’ll show you how.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

  Our order number is called out and Nash jumps to his feet. “Anything else you need while I’m up there?”

  “No thanks.” I quirk my lips into a small smile. He winks sending my stomach aflutter and my eyes never leave him as he walks up to the counter. He’s as tall as I remember, but his shoulders could be even wider than I recall. The way his gray dress pants hug his ass holds my attention like a face that I recognize but can’t place. I’ve never seen him dressed in business attire before. When I was at the safehouse he always wore jeans and t-shirts or the occasional hoodie. I thought he looked attractive back then, but nothing compares to how he’s matured. He oozes masculinity and wears his maturity well.

  I barely manage to tear my gaze away before he turns around. Keeping myself busy, I pull a few napkins out of the dispenser on our table, spreading one out over my lap.

  Nash sets the tray down between us and hands me my bowl of tomato soup and the grilled cheese sandwich that comes with it. He sets his own plate down and places the empty tray on one of the vacant tables nearby.

  I wait until he’s seated to dip my spoon in and have a taste. I let out a small “Mm,” as the hot soup hits the spot, warming me from the inside out.

  “Soup’s good, I take it?”

  “Yes, it’s amazing. It’s just what I needed and didn’t even realize.”

  “And you didn’t want to come to lunch.”

  “I had a lot to do.”

  He gives me a look loaded with skepticism. “Why didn’t you want to come to lunch with me?”

  Setting my spoon down on my plate, I take a sip of soda to buy myself some time while I contemplate how honest I should be. He’s probably formed his own assumptions and maybe I should lay it all out there, so to speak. Clear the air between us and get a fresh start. Although, I’m not sure why we’d need to clear the air, but somehow it feels as though we do. Maybe I’m overthinking things.

  “I wanted to avoid any awkwardness between us.”

  “Why would there be any?”

  “I’m not sure, but it seems like there is.”

  “Do you think ignoring each other would be the best solution? Especially when you and I are going to be working closely? We might as well be mature about it. If we spend time together, we’ll be able to move past it asap.”

  “Maybe you’re right.” I shrug and resume eating my lunch.

  “Maybe? What’s this maybe stuff? You of all people should trust what I say. I’ve never steered you wrong and I never will.”

  We enjoy the rest of our meal and by some unspoken agreement the conversation remains light. Neither of us wants to upset the balance by discussing anything slightly controversial. It’s nice to spend time with Nash. I’ve missed him more than I’ll admit to myself, and the time apart has done nothing to lessen the underlying attraction between us. I’m aware of every move he makes. It’s unnerving to have such strong feelings for Nash. I really thought I’d moved past them, but with each second in his company, and each glance at his handsome face, the weak, fluttery sensation in my stomach reminds me - I’m not even close to being over him. Dammit. How am I going to resist him when all I want is to give in to this magnetic pull between us.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Nash

  “We never really talked about what you’ve been up to,” Zoe mentions, keeping her gaze directed forward as we walk along with the lunchtime crush of pedestrians. “Are you married?”

  I hold in the smile twitching my lips. If she’s asking me this question, then she must be interested. Or at the very least - curious. “No, I’ve never been married or even come close.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’ve been waiting for the right woman, I guess. I’ve never felt the need to settle for spending my life with someone just for the sake of companionship. And this job isn’t conducive to relationships, unless the other person works in a similar field.”

  “Yeah, I understand what you mean. My parents were happily married. I’d like to have a relationship like theirs.”

  “What about you?”

  “What about me?” Her head flips in my direction.

  “I know you’re not married.”

  “Wait.” She holds up a hand, cutting me off. “How do you know I’m not?”

  “No ring.” I smirk.

  “Maybe I just don’t wear it to work?” She smiles.

  “Turning my own words on me, huh?” The corner of my mouth quirks up teasingly.

  “You remember that conversation we had?”

  “I told you, I remember everything about you. Did you think I was lying?”

  Her head snaps forward and her chin lowers to disguise the pink tinge sweeping over her cheeks. “I wasn’t sure what your motive for saying it was.”

  “Zoe.” Placing my hand on her arm, I draw her to the inner edge of the sidewalk, pausing in front of a comic book store. My hands slide up to rest on her shoulders. “I know a lot of time has passed, but I’m still the same guy I was back then. I’ll never lie to you. If I say something, I mean it. I don’t waste words. You’ll never have to search for hidden messages with me. This isn’t a game - you’re not a game for me, or some challenge I want to conquer.”

  Her sky colored eyes stare up into mine flicking back and forth between them. “What are you thinking?”

  She shakes her head. “I don’t understand where all this is coming from. Why are you doing this?”

  “Doing what?”

  She throws her hands up in the air. “Whatever this is.”

  “You need to be more specific.” I push her. I want her to say the words. She needs to deal with the fact I still have feelings for her and I’m almost positive she reciprocates them.

  “I’m not sure what to call it. Are you pursuing me, or just fucking with me for the fun of it?”

  My hands tighten on her shoulders. “I told you I won’t say things I don’t mean. If you need one hundred percent clarity on what I’m doing, let me lay it out for you. I have feelings for you. I always have, but you were too young to act on them before.”

  “That’s your take on it. I wasn’t too young, but you just made that decision for me.”

  “Well, you’re not too young now, so it really doesn’t matter.”

  “The hell it doesn’t. Don’t I get a voice in th
is?”

  “Can you honestly say you don’t have feelings for me?” I edge closer until there’s barely an inch separating us. “You don’t feel this energy sparking between us?” My fingers trail down, flexing into the lean muscles of her upper arms. “I want to kiss your lips and taste every inch of your mouth until you’re breathless and begging for more.” Her eyes widen with surprise. “And that’s only the beginning of what I want to do to you.”

  Her lips part and close twice before she finally speaks. “Nash.” My name is a hoarse whisper. Whether it’s a plea or a denial, I’m not certain.

  I never know how Zoe will react. She’s stubborn. If I say she’ll do one thing, she’s liable to do the other just to prove me wrong.

  “What do you want, Zoe? Tell me and I’ll make it happen.”

  She runs her teeth over her bottom lip and lowers her eyes to the sidewalk. The silence stretches on and while neither of us have moved apart, the figurative distance between us feels as though it’s rapidly growing.

  My hands raise and cup her cheeks, drawing her focus, I direct her to look at me once again. “Zoe, don’t shut down on me. I think I’ve made it clear I want to explore this connection we have. See what it can become. What do you want?” Her skin unbelievably soft and warm against my palms has me imagining what the rest of her would feel like under my exploring caresses. “Answer me.”

  She visibly swallows and licks her lips. “I think we need to keep anything that might have been in the past where it belongs.”

  I step back and let my hands fall to my sides. Flashing her a grim version of a grin, I shrug my shoulders trying to appear nonchalant. “We can chalk it up to a missed opportunity and never speak of it again.” I resume walking toward work and she scurries to follow.

  “Nash, I’m sorry.”

  “What’s there to be sorry about? I wouldn’t want you pretending to have feelings for me. I’m glad you’re being honest.” But I know she’s lying to herself and it’s only a matter of time before she’s forced to face the truth.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Zoe

  Sweat trickles down the nape of my neck and continues rolling along the middle of my spine like morning dew on a blade of grass. My hips rock in time to the electro dance music pounding through the sound system and the thrum of the bass pulses heavy in my chest. EDM has never been my thing, my tastes run more toward pop, but right now I don’t care. As Tash informed me earlier as I was getting ready, tonight is all about FUN. She mentioned something about it meaning fucked up and naked. Regardless of the meaning, getting a buzz on seems like a great place to start. With all the shots we’ve done I’m well on my way to acing the first two letters of that acronym. The third one will have to wait. At least that’s the plan.

  Strong fingers grip my hips and warm breath drifts along the curve of my shoulder. “When are we gonna get out of here, Zoe?” Max, my ex-boyfriend, questions with his mouth pressed against my ear.

  I spin around, my rocking hips keeping time with the beat and clasp my hands behind his neck. My eyes move from his thick chest to his masculine lips.

  What would it be like to kiss him again?

  Max and I were a couple for junior and senior year of college and broke up shortly after we graduated. He went to work in the corporate world and I continued at B.U. for my master’s degree.

  We somehow managed to remain friends, but this is the first time we’ve gone out in ages. He’s been busy travelling for the tech company he works for.

  My tongue glides out between my lips, tracing along the plump curve. His gripping fingers flex on my hips, urging me closer. Sweeping a quick glance upward, I catch his green eyes watching me and they look iridescent in the multicolored flashing lights of the club.

  He clasps my wrists, pulling my arms from his neck. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Releasing one of my hands, he keeps holding the other, leading me through the club and out the front door. We start down the sidewalk and the cool spring air feels refreshing against my heated skin. When we reach the end of the brick building, he pauses and pulls me against his chest. “I’ve missed you. Have you missed me at all?” His fingers trail up and down the middle of my bare spine.

  “You bet I have. You’re one of my best friends.”

  He sighs and tangles his hands in my hair, tipping my head back. “I want you so bad. What do you say we go back to your place and catch up?”

  He wants to have sex with me?

  This is unexpected and I’m not sure how I feel about it. There’s only one guy I’m interested in right now. Nash Garrison - Mr. Schoolgirl Crush himself. Even though I shut him down at lunch, to be with anyone else wouldn’t be fair to myself or the other person. Resting my hands on his chest I’m about to speak when I hear a deep voice bark out my name.

  “Zoe,” the voice repeats, more urgently.

  Pulling myself free from Max, my hands drop from his chest as I take a step backward, placing distance between us. My head swings toward the curb where Nash leans back against his truck. His arms are crossed over his broad chest, muscular forearms on show and flexed with tension.

  Glancing back at Max, I hold up a finger. “I’m sorry. Can you give me a minute?”

  “It’s okay.” He smiles and caresses the curve of my bare shoulder before his hand ends our contact. Patting his arm, I move along the sidewalk. Nash’s narrowed eyes are locked on Max and remain there until I’m standing in front of him.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “What are you doing here?” He turns my question back on me.

  “I’m on a date, not that it’s any of your concern,” I huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

  Straightening up, he pushes off the truck and runs a hand through his black hair. “Why are you out with him?” His eyes dart over my shoulder in Max’s direction once more.

  “What’s wrong with Max? He’s a great guy.”

  “Where’d you meet him?”

  “He’s my ex, not that it’s any of your concern.”

  “Zoe, don’t lose your focus now. You just started at the Bureau.”

  My eyes narrow, glaring at him. Lose my focus? Who does he think he is?

  “Nash, you’re not my keeper and as far as losing my focus goes, you don’t ever have to worry about that. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this job. No one wants me to succeed at it more than I do.” I step forward and poke him in the chest. “Have you forgotten that the man responsible for both of my parents’ deaths is still out there somewhere? It’s not like I could ever forget about him.” I poke his muscular pec, again. “Don’t tell me what to do. I’m a fucking adult.” My arms cross and I groan with frustration. “Your being here like this is weird. What are you doing?”

  He doesn’t answer, just growls out something unintelligible and continues to glare at Max. My head swivels to find Max typing on his phone and I feel bad for ignoring him. “I have to get back to my friend. Take care.” I press my lips together and start to turn away.

  “Zoe,” he rasps, catching my hand in his, stopping me from moving further away. A tingle engulfs my body, bathing it in warmth from head to toe. How can his touch still affect me so? “Be careful.” He squeezes my hand, leaning forward until he catches my attention. His warm irises sear into mine. “I mean it. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to your surroundings.”

  My eyebrows press together wrinkling in the middle of my forehead.

  “Nash, what’s going on?”

  He shakes his head. “Nothing.”

  “Nash. If there’s something I need to know, I trust that you’d tell me.” My eyes stare up searching his for some sign of what's happening with him. “You would tell me, wouldn’t you?”

  His hand releases mine as he grips my shoulders, holding me in front of him. “A beautiful, young woman like yourself can never be too careful.”

  My stomach flutters from his sweet words.

  “Nash, you shouldn’t be worrying about me. I mean it. This i
sn’t necessary.”

  He nods, solemnly.

  “I’m out with someone else and I’m being horrible company.” I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his thick neck as he swallows. He remains silent, but the muscle ticking in his cheek tells me he’s not unaffected by my words. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Nash

  Raking my hand through my hair, frustratedly, I watch Zoe walk back to Max and it’s all I can do to stop myself from snatching her up and throwing her inside my truck. Letting her out of my sight in his company has me anxious for a hundred different reasons. Is she gonna have sex with him? Does she still sleep with him? Maybe they have some friends who bang arrangement. What if tonight is the beginning of them patching things up? Fuck. When Natasha texted me letting me know that Zoe would be here, I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist coming. I was just preparing to go inside when I noticed her and Max walking this way.

  Since Zoe’s been back in my life the urge to keep her safe has surged out of control, like a tidal wave taking over everything in its path. I find my eyes watching her more often and frequently my thoughts wander to her. Thinking about her is my favorite pastime.

  Her safety is important to me, but I know my actions tonight were way out of line and borderline obsessive. I can’t even lie to myself and pretend I sought her out purely from concern. I was worried because Max was getting the jump on me and I can’t afford anything to come between Zoe and I, now that I have a shot with her. How do I ignore her going on dates with other men when she should be with me?

  I’m pushing some boundaries I shouldn’t be. I never should have come here. I should respect Zoe’s choice to go out with whomever she’d like. I haven’t been tasked with watching her - I’ve taken it upon myself. And yes, I’m attracted to her, but that’s not what this is about. I care deeply for Zoe. Every minute I spend in her presence only confirms the feelings I had for her haven’t dissipated and they’re not going to. She’s had my heart in her grip since I first met her. But tonight’s behavior was motivated by jealousy.