Wolf-Way (Wolf of my Heart)

by Linda Palmer

  I shrugged. "You said it, yourself. You're a guy, and that's what they do."

  "Yeah, but according to the females in my life, they shouldn't, so I apologize."

  The females in his life? "And it won't happen again...?"

  He grinned. "As if, but I'll try to be more discreet."

  Why did that answer please me?

  In seconds, our burgers sizzled in the pan. I tried to send Rhyan back to the den, but he sat at the table instead and played with the saltshaker.

  "Would you get the mustard and whatever you want on your burgers out of the fridge? There are Cokes in there, too."

  He got up without a word to do what I asked, returning to the table in a couple of seconds with the mustard, a jar of dill pickles, and the cold drinks. By then, I'd plated the burgers. Scooping up the bag of buns and canister of Pringles, I placed everything on the table. I also dug a couple of paper plates from the pantry and sat down opposite my guest.

  "Enjoy."

  He obviously did, finishing both his burgers and a good-sized stack of chips before I got halfway through mine.

  That's when Rhyan began to stare at me again.

  "Is there something wrong with my mouth?"

  "Besides the fact that you have mustard on your lip? Not a damn thing." He pointed to his own to show me where.

  Embarrassed, I hastily swiped at it.

  "Other side."

  Before I could react, he reached across the wooden table and gently brushed away the offending smear. I handed him a napkin too late. He'd already licked it off his thumb.

  Gross!

  Or, hands down, the sexiest thing a guy could do.

  My heart dropped straight into my stomach. With difficulty, I kept my eyes averted until we got up and tossed our plates in the trash.

  "Have I said something stupid?"

  "No. Why?"

  "The tension in here is so thick --"

  I left him in the kitchen and went back to the fireplace. He joined me a couple of seconds later, looking a little wary as he sat. And no wonder. I tried to neutralize the mood. "How old are you?"

  "Nineteen. You?"

  "Younger."

  Rhyan frowned. "So you're in high school?"

  "Junior college."

  "Ah. Major?"

  "I'm just taking the basics now. Then I'll transfer to a four-year college that offers physical therapy, I think. What about you? Going to college anywhere?"

  He hesitated, which made me regret the question.

  "I'm being nosy again."

  "I don't mind that. I just don't want you to think I'm a loser."

  "You know I was kidding when I said you weren't a genius, don't you? I mean, it's not as if I could possibly know that."

  Rhyan laughed. "You were actually right, but that has nothing to do with this." He took a deep breath and let it out very slowly in a sigh of...what? "I'm a high school drop out."

  I blinked. Sure hadn't seen that coming. "Then get your GED."

  "I will, just as soon as--" He as good as screeched to a halt, which said he didn't trust me one bit.

  Though that made perfect sense, I still felt a pang of disappointment. Confused by my reaction to him, I abruptly stood.

  "I'm going to bed now. Sit here as long as you like. You can even watch TV. There's the remote." I pointed to it.

  "What about the fire? Should I put it out?"

  "It'll be fine if you set up the screen. Helps us save on the electric bill." With a wave, I left him for my room, where I gathered the sleep clothes I'd stuck under my pillow when I fluffed it that morning.

  I always showered before bed, and this night was no exception. The hot water stung my bare body, adding a pink cast to my naturally tan skin. I didn't bother to dry my hair, but pulled it into a ponytail high enough on my head that it wouldn't poke me all night or get my entire pillowcase wet. As thick as my hair grew, it would probably still be damp in the morning. I'd dry it thoroughly then, when I had more energy. Now I just wanted to crawl under the covers and cherish my last hours as a female alone in the house.

  But I wasn't alone, and that rattled me so much I couldn't go to sleep. When the digits on my clock radio flipped to one a.m., I heaved a sigh of defeat and got out of bed. Time for a snack and some serious home shopping. I honestly didn't give Rhyan much thought as I opened my door and walked down the shadowy hall dressed in a tank top and Scooby Doo sleep pants. The soft golden glow from the den assured me he'd turned out the lights and gone to bed hours ago.

  Just as I entered the pitch-black kitchen, Rhyan stepped out of it. I screamed; he yelped; we collided...so hard I fell back and landed on my butt. He saved himself from a full-body sprawl by pasting one hand to the wall and the other to the floor.

  "Crap! Are you okay?"

  "Yeah." I untangled my legs from his and stood.

  "Sure?"

  I nodded.

  "Why are you up?" he asked.

  "Why are you?"

  "I haven't been down yet. Did the TV wake you?"

  "No. I just can't sleep for some reason." I carefully maneuvered myself around him and entered the kitchen, thoughtlessly flipping on the light, then dousing it again when I caught the look on his face. I instinctively crossed my arms over my tank, one of Levi's old undershirts and thin as a soap bubble. "I thought you'd be in bed."

  "Sorry about that. I'm a real nuisance, aren't I?"

  "What guy isn't?" Yanking open the fridge, I grabbed a can of ginger ale since it didn't have caffeine. I also took out a bag of carrots and the ranch dressing, then seated myself at the kitchen table to eat.

  "I'll leave so you can turn on the light and see what you're doing."

  I didn't answer.

  "Uh, Tehya?"

  "What?"

  "Thanks for taking me in."

  "As if I had a choice. Chief would've killed me if I turned away a needy wolf."

  Dead silence followed that, and I regretted my snarky words. I didn't try to fix things, though. Tomorrow, er, today Chief would be home, and life would be back to normal. There was no sense in exploring feelings about Rhyan that I didn't understand. As for linking with him...that was not going to happen. Ever.

  When the light suddenly flicked on, I glanced toward the door. But Rhyan had gone. Seconds later, I heard his footfall on the steps.

  I ate five of the mini-carrots, all of them dipped in the lid of the salad dressing bottle since I'd poured some into it. As soon as I drained the last drop of soda from the can, I cleaned up my mess, turned off the light, and started down the hall. But before I got to my room, my feet took an unplanned detour, and I suddenly found myself halfway up the stairs. Clearly my subconscious thought I should apologize to Rhyan for being so irritable. I went with it.

  An eerie, almost-iridescent glow permeated the room, the result of the porch light bouncing off the snow outside. I still couldn't see squat, so crept carefully to the bed I'd pointed out earlier.

  "Rhyan?" I kept my voice low so I wouldn't wake him if he'd already fallen to sleep.

  "What's wrong?" he asked from right behind me.

  I nearly jumped out of my skin and whirled to find him up close and personal. I put a hand on his bare chest to keep him from coming one hair nearer.

  "Nothing. I just want to apologize for being in such a pissy mood."

  "I'm sure it's my fault. I mean, this isn't the first time I've rubbed a girl the wrong way."

  Rubbed a girl? I tried to erase that Technicolor visual. "It's not you. I'm just...I don't know...frustrated or bored or--"

  "Lonely?"

  "Why do you say that?"

  "Well, you're stuck here all alone with your grandpa. What girl wouldn't be?"

  "You think I need a mall to be happy?"

  "I did not say that. I would never say that."

  Uh-huh. "Believe me, things aren't usually this quiet. But my point is I honestly don't mind your being here. I just wanted to let you know. Now goodnight, sleep tight, etcetera, etcetera." I t
ried to step around him, but he stepped the same way. This happened a couple of times, as it will, and it wasn't until I glanced up that I realized Rhyan did it on purpose. What the heck?

  He looked so amazing with snow glow defining the muscles of his upper body. I'd never met anyone as fit. As for the lower half... I realized he wore nothing but boxer briefs that revealed all but the good parts.

  "What?" I as good as growled. He surely had a knack for upsetting me.

  "I was just wishing I'd met you a couple of years ago."

  "Because I'm different from other girls? That's where you're wrong, Rhyan. I'm really not."

  "Give yourself some credit."

  "Are you implying the female gender is inferior?"

  "No, no, no. Nothing like that. And I didn't mean you, anyway. I meant me. I wish I'd met you before I..." He stopped and shook his head. "Forget it."

  Exasperated with the whole conversation, I gave him a shove that moved him just enough for me to get by, run out of the room, and hastily descend the stairs.

  Men. They ruled the world, but not because of their numbers, smarts, or physical superiority. Women let them do it, and for the life of me, I didn't know why. Or maybe I did. Maybe all the women of the world, like me, stayed glued to their miserable lives by design--male design.

  I crawled into my double bed, grabbed my spare pillow, and turned on my side, back to the door. Since sleep still eluded me, I did something that had worked in the past: produce a video in my head. My stories, which had improvised plots as far from reality as possible, usually dropped me in dreamland within seconds. As always, I picked myself to play the heroine before trying to cast the hero, who I usually chose from current Hollywood hotties such as Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, or Kellen Lutz. But tonight, only one face popped into my head, and he had no ties to the big screen that I knew of.

  "Tehya?"

  With a gasp, I turned to find my top pick for male lead standing by the bed. "What are you doing in here?"

  "I have to explain what I meant."

  Oh my God. "Then do it so I can go to sleep."

  He sat on the edge of the mattress, and though I braced myself against the dip, I still rolled closer to him.

  "If I said anything that sounded chauvinistic, I didn't mean to. I totally respect women."

  "Because...?"

  "I have a sister and mom who made sure I would."

  "Is your sister older? Younger?"

  He shook his head instead of giving me an answer. That baffled me and hurt a little, too. Did he think I'd look her up and report him, or something? Even in a bad mood, I wasn't that petty.

  "I forgive you. Now please go away."

  He left.

  With one pillow wadded under my head and the other hugged tightly to my chest, I lay and watched the snow swirling around the security light mounted on a pole outside. I thought of winters past, when my brothers and I sledded down the mountain right behind Chief's log house. I missed them so much. My grandfather changed after they left, beginning when I asked him outright why no girls ever walked the wolf-way, the spiritual and physical process that turned Native American boys into wolves. Chief took them in and mentored them, the reason for our dorm.

  I guess I thought if I could become a wolf, too, I'd understand him better and feel closer to my tribe. Or maybe it was that dream that made me want to do it. That crazy, all-too-frequent dream in which I became a she-wolf and found my mate.

  Either way, he told me to forget it and began a blatant campaign intended to teach me my proper role in tribal life: cheerleader for the big bad men. I'd expected this because that's what he'd done to my mom. Not that she'd told me outright. She hadn't. I'd learned it when I linked with her on her deathbed. Before that moment, I'd believed her to be an orphan. Then her memories revealed she not only had divorced parents living, but magical powers that meant she'd be the next shaman and, as such, tethered to the reservation forever. That's why she ran away at age seventeen and never went back.

  Mom died before I could confess I'd inherited some of her gifts. And though only a child, I knew her death made me next in line for shaman. I also knew that if she didn't want that life, I wouldn't either. After all, she'd live on the reservation for more years than me, which put her in a better position to know. So I kept my secrets and tried not to do anything special with Chief in the same room.

  Perhaps disappointment in my apparent lack of powers made him talk down to me in front of guys who subconsciously took his cue and did the same. Or maybe he feared I'd run away, too. Either way, he kept me under his heavy thumb. So the tiniest indication of disrespect set me off these days.

  Poor Rhyan simply got caught in the crossfire.

  Chapter Three

  When I woke up Sunday morning, I looked out the window first thing. I saw that the snow had stopped falling, at least for the moment, and huge drifts hugged the cabin and everything else that had survived the stormy night. So much for jogging, something I did on a daily basis to stay fit and to check on some old folks on the reservation who needed help. I also went to the res community center-slash-gym once a week to work out.

  I heard footsteps upstairs, which reminded me I had company. For some reason, Rhyan's presence lifted my spirits, which had been down for a while now. For a couple of minutes I lay there thinking about him and his curse. Who could've done it to him and why? Curses could be really nasty, and though he looked okay on the outside, something could be bad wrong on the inside. I hoped that Chief could fix him.

  I got up, dried my still-damp hair, and dressed in jeans and a decent shirt. I also put on fuzzy socks, but didn't mess with shoes before I walked to the kitchen. Just as I got there, the door opened and Chief stepped inside from the driveway. He brought in a gust of chilly wind as well as Cameron Halter, a guy my grandfather had recently graduated from wolf school and apparently hoped I'd fall for. Or maybe Cameron did the hoping. Either way, it was not going to happen. And knowing Cam would be underfoot today tanked my good mood.

  "What? No breakfast?" Chief stomped his boots on the rug near the door.

  "Hello to you, too."

  He laughed as if he'd been joking, though I knew better. "Throw some extra bacon and eggs in the skillet, would you? Cam and I are starved." He looked past me. I saw his nostrils flare, sure indication his wolf nose had caught our guest's scent. "Who's this?"

  I glanced toward the hall and found Rhyan standing in the doorway dressed in my brother's clothes. "Someone needing your help. I put him in the dorm last night to keep him from freezing to death."

  Chief nodded and finished taking off his coat, which he hung on the hall tree. He approached Rhyan with his right hand extended. "John Rainbolt."

  "Rhyan Knox."

  Chief pointed to Cam. "This is Cameron Halter, Tehya's boyfriend."

  I gasped. Had he really just said that?

  Cam, slipping out of his jacket, smirked.

  "Actually, we're just friends." I glared at Chief. He just laughed, oblivious or maybe uncaring that he'd put me in a very awkward position.

  "What can I do for you, Rhyan?"

  "It's pretty complicated."

  "Then we should eat before we talk. Why don't the two of you come into the den with me? Tehya, how about some coffee? You can bring it to us before you get started on breakfast." He headed out with Cam on his heels. Rhyan, however, didn't move. Clearly puzzled by Chief's peremptory tone, he waited until we were alone.

  "Need any help?"

  Flushed and furious, I couldn't even look at him, much less answer. Once again, Chief had put me on the defensive and made me feel insignificant.

  "Rhyan?" Chief's booming voice summoned him to the den.

  Rhyan hesitated, then left me without another word.

  Since I hadn't washed yesterday's dirty dishes, I had to do that first. Then I gathered the breakfast food--bacon, eggs, refrigerated biscuits--and got to work, my mind on everything but cooking. I needed a break. That much was clear. If I'd had the mon
ey, I'd have transferred to a college far, far away. But unlike my brothers, I hadn't qualified for any academic honors. My grades were average at best, and the colleges I had in mind didn't offer gymnastics scholarships, my one and only talent.

  Not that I didn't have brains. I'd struggled because I hated attending school on the reservation, and Chief wouldn't let me go anywhere else. Boys outnumbered girls two-to-one in my class, a dream come true at any other institution, a nightmare at mine. Sick of their preferential treatment in everything from sports to test scores, I'd tried to bond with the girls in my class. Somehow, we never clicked, and I'd longed for graduation since the ninth grade with my gym time the only thing keeping me sane. Though I'd finally finished that phase of my life, nothing had changed significantly. There wasn't much difference between attending a local high school and attending a local junior college since both lay only twenty minutes from the house. Worse, the college didn't offer any Phys Ed classes to distract tomboy me.

  I'll admit I sulked while I flipped bacon and scrambled eggs. Something had to give and the sooner the better. With Chief acting as trustee of the money my father left me, I wouldn't have enough cash to pursue my physical therapy classes until I turned twenty-one.