Ultimate Mid-life Crisis

by Adam Graham

  “What conclusion was that?”

  “That you were the Pharaoh.”

  Powerhouse knew everything. Farrow gripped the edge of the desk. I’m trapped here with no weapons, no way to defend myself against the strongest man on Earth.

  Powerhouse handed back the cigarette. “Your brand of cigarette didn’t match the one the Pharaoh sent me when I was in King Bel’s dimension. As the Pharaoh was sending one cigarette, I figured he’d send me his own brand. Since you use another one, it must not be you.”

  “Congratulations, Sherlock.” Farrow laughed. Stupid people shouldn’t try to think. They only hurt themselves.

  “However, you collaborated with Pharaoh. Because of that, I spent days in a total hellhole in another dimension, but finding out Rosie is doing better makes it all worth it to me. It was still wrong, but I understand why you did it.”

  “You don’t understand anything, and I’m not admitting anything.”

  “I’m not going to tell the government what I know, but let me tell you this. King Bel is evil. I won’t ignore it next time, if I catch you helping him again.” Powerhouse spun and rocketed out the window.

  Farrow smirked. For once, Powerhouse had outsmarted himself, but the guy was still way too close to the truth. Only killing his enemy wasn’t enough. First, he’d have to discredit Powerhouse.

  He opened the drawer where he’d hidden his whiskey and took a swig.

  This wasn’t going to help him come up with a viable plan. “Mitch, my boy, it’s time to face facts. You’re an alcoholic.”

  His words stung through the air.

  No way could he abandon cold reality for nice-sounding fiction, but he needed help to control this.

  He needed his head clear to think of a plan to save his daughter from AIDS and to save the world from the fundamentalists taking it into the dark ages, and stop the exploitation creating poverty and crime.

  Accomplishing all that required destroying Powerhouse.

  He pressed a button on his secret intercom. “Fournier, send Albert to me to stop me from drinking.”

  “Sir, I am happy to help,” Fournier said.

  Farrow stared at his bottle. “Make it tomorrow.”

  “Will do, sir.”

  He walked out of his inner office.

  His secretary was stirring to her feet. “Mr. Farrow, it happened again!”

  “Fill out the paperwork for the same deal we made last time and I’ll sign it. You can go once you cancel my appointments for the rest of the day.”

  “What came up?”

  “Just need to say goodbye to a friend.” A friend named Jack Daniels.

  Outside the boys’ camp, Naomi grinned as she marched beside Dave with their two sons behind them.

  Dave tossed their two brown suitcases into the back of the van along with two orange backpacks. Her youngest stuffed the rest of his candy bar in his mouth as he pranced.

  Why, why had the camp given the kids a candy bar for each Bible verse they memorized? Derrick had won a six-month supply and seemed bent on consuming it all in a day. Well, at least her sons were coming home, even if only James had been mature enough to handle their prizes.

  Naomi sat in the backseat beside Derrick and James.

  James said, “Mom, aren’t you going to sit up front?”

  She’d spent too many months away from her sons. Now it was time for some mother-son bonding. “Not this trip.”

  Dave closed the back of the van, came around, and got in the driver’s seat. “Everyone ready? Everyone went to the bathroom?”

  Derrick and James said, “Yes.”

  “Anyone feeling car sick?”

  James rolled his eyes. “Dad, we just got in the car.”

  “All right then, let’s buckle up for safety.” Dave turned on the ignition and backed the car out of the driveway. “So how was camp?”

  “Great,” the boys said.

  James added alone, “Mom, you saved the l-letters I sent you, right?”

  Naomi nodded. “Yes, so you can make a blog post based on the letters.”

  “Good.”

  Naomi stared at her boys. Soon, they’ll be men. I can’t believe what I nearly did to them. Thank God for stopping me in time.

  Derrick said, “Mom, what is it?”

  “Nothing.” She sighed. That was a lie. “Dave, turn off on the shoulder.”

  Dave pulled over.

  Naomi said, “Boys, I’ve tried to be good. I didn’t hug you at the camp so I wouldn’t embarrass you, but I have missed you so much that I need to give you a big hug.”

  James rolled his eyes. “Mom, that’s baby stuff.”

  “Coward.” Derrick unbuckled his seat belt. “I’m not afraid.”

  Naomi clutched her baby close and kissed his cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I missed you too, Mom.”

  She unbuckled her seatbelt and walked around to James and knelt beside him. “Come on, James, what’s the worst that could happen?”

  James sighed. “Okay.”

  Naomi hugged him. “I love you, my young man.”

  A bus passed.

  Derrick giggled. “Isn’t that the Junior High bus?”

  James jerked away from Naomi and turned beat red. “You jerk! You knew your friends had left, and that’s why you went first.”

  “That wasn’t nice, Derrick,” Naomi said as she tsked.

  “It was funny.” Her youngest snickered

  “That doesn’t matter.” Where did he pick up things like that? Naomi cringed a second before forcing herself to straighten up.

  Derrick fished through his backpack and retrieved his fourth candy bar that hour.

  Naomi cleared her throat. “Put it away unless you want to lose it. Too much candy is clearly making you ornery. Besides, we have some things to discuss on the flight home.”

  “Flight?” James scrunched his brows together. As his brother obeyed her, her eldest son said, “But the nearest airport is in w-what, Spokane?”

  Dave restarted the engine and the van began to rise. “We’ll be taking the Powerhouse express home.”

  The boys gaped out the window.

  Naomi leaned back. Hopefully the fun flight from camp back to Bryerton would make the boys more receptive to the changes ahead.

  Chapter 30

  Engagement to Danger

  Naomi grabbed a black satin wrap from the closet. She glanced out the window. It was warm right now, but late September nights could get chilly. She placed the shoulder wrap on the bed.

  Claws clopped on the floor. Cheyenne barked. “Mom, can we go play?”

  Spoken like a human child talking while eating candy. Naomi glanced at her new pit bull, who still bore the scars from dog fight. Cheyenne held a tennis ball in her teeth.

  Naomi smiled. “Not now, honey. I’ve got to get ready for the party. But later when I get home.”

  The dog barked. “Please.”

  “Ask me later.”

  The dog barked. “Okay.”

  Naomi combed her thick brown hair, which fell just below her shoulder blades. “Turn to French braid.”

  Her hair obeyed, creating a beautiful braid. She put on her opal earrings that Dave had gotten her a few years back.

  The doorbell rang and she answered it.

  Carmella stood outside in a Washington Monolith Mortgage t-shirt and jeans. “Hey, girl. You look great.”

  Naomi glanced at her little black dress. “It’s been awhile since I had an occasion to wear this.”

  “So are the boys and the dog ready to go?”

  “Cheyenne’s ready. The boys will be a few minutes. They’re just finishing their French practice.”

  “So how’s the whole homeschooling thing going?”

  “Well, I’m only two weeks in, but so far, so good. It helps that they know most of their friends from outside of school.”

  “Honestly? I can’t believe you yanked your boys out of school. It was such unexpected news. You know, coming from
my son.”

  Naomi gasped, her eyes widening. “Oh, I forgot to tell you! We had a serious problem with Derrick’s school last year that involved punishing him for defending himself from a bully. He was ready for a break, and none of the Junior High’s education plans are a good fit for James, since he has special needs, but he’s also gifted and talented. It wasn’t a big problem for him, since his school district still lets him play soccer. I’d been wanting to teach for so many years, and here were my own kids. It’s been really fun.”

  “How’s math?”

  Naomi bit her lip. “I have to send James to a tutor. I’ve forgotten all the useless math they taught me in junior high. If they need something practical like amortization, or business math, that I could help with.”

  Carmella nodded. “I could never do it, but I can definitely see you doing it. How long are you going to home school?”

  “Right now, the plan is until they get to high school. After that, I don’t know. But I’ve also signed up to teach Community Education classes. I’m going to do a six week series on the life of Joan of Arc. I imagine I’ll do more of that kind of thing, once Derrick gets to high school.” She shuddered. “I can’t believe we’re even talking about that.”

  “I know! I remember when he was a baby. That’s scary.”

  Naomi let out a long breath. “Okay, I’m two years away from having to think about Derrick in high school. Right now, I’m trying to avoid worrying about James.”

  Carmella nodded. “I hear you. How’s your counseling going?”

  “I’m working through my feelings about my family. Maybe, I’ll be ready to try and reconcile with my siblings someday, but not any time soon.”

  “What does Dr. Rose think about Justice Woman?”

  “That’s not what I’m seeing him about.” Especially after Dr. Rose said she needed to tell Dave about her alter ego.

  “Is Dave going too?”

  Naomi smiled. “Alone, voluntarily. He wants to process what happened in that other dimension. I’m so proud of him.”

  Carmella whistled. “Yeah, most guys refuse to talk about the important things in life.”

  Naomi chuckled. “He said, if he doesn’t go, he’ll become a supervillain.”

  “According to a comic book, right?”

  “So long as it gets him to take care of himself.”

  Dave came in the living room from the master bathroom. His suit was baggy. “This doesn’t fit right.”

  For a reason. Naomi bit her lip. “The last time you bought a suit, you weighed a hundred pounds more, and most of it was fat.”

  “That explains it.” Dave grabbed his pants as if afraid they were about to drop despite his belt. “What am I going to do? This is my only suit.”

  “Why don’t you imagine it smaller?”

  “Use my superpowers to alter my garments?” Dave blinked, his brows scrunched as he cocked his head. “Okay, I’ll try it.” Dave’s suit shrunk until the pants constricted around his legs and crotch and the jacket was about to pop open from the strain.

  Carmella frowned. “Dave, isn’t that a little tight?”

  “That’s how it used to fit.”

  The two women laughed.

  Naomi kissed his cheek. “Let out your pants and your jacket an inch.”

  The clothes complied.

  Dave jumped. “That’s weird. I didn’t even think I’d imagined that.”

  Oops. Naomi’s cheeks warmed. “You look sharp, Dave.”

  Cheyenne came in barking and carrying the ball. “Let’s play!”

  Naomi sighed. “Still not yet. Auntie Carmella’s going to take you and the boys out to the campground, where there’s a lot of places to play.”

  “Will you come throw the ball?”

  “I’m sure Carmella will play with you.”

  Dave laughed. “That dog can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

  Carmella cleared her throat. “I better go check if the boys are ready.”

  After her friend left, Naomi drew closer to Dave. “She’s upset because she knows I lied.”

  “About what?”

  “You don’t look sharp.” She grinned. Bad girl. “You look hot.”

  “I have to look my best. My date’s the most beautiful woman there.” He leaned and kissed her on the lips. “You smell good too.” He pulled her in for another kiss. “You make me want to forget the party. Too bad Powerhouse has to show up.”

  “What’s he doing at the party?”

  Dave grinned. “Something he’d only do for an important friend.”

  Naomi sniffed. He still wouldn’t tell. “Be that way, mystery man.”

  “What is a mystery is why you and I were invited to the birthday party of Powerhouse’s lawyer’s legal assistant. I mean, we don’t even know her, except from the board meetings.”

  “Oh, um, I was invited to Barbara’s party and was told I could bring a date. I know her from when she was the legal assistant for Leona Campbell.”

  Dave glowered. “She can’t be. She looks so happy, normal, and not evil. Didn’t the legal assistant help empty the house for Leona when she had you move out?”

  “Yes Dave, but if you’re going to be mad at her, you should be mad at me, and I thought you’d forgiven me.”

  Dave sighed. “It’s weird going to a birthday party of a lady who works for my lawyer and once cleaned out my house.”

  “McCall’s invited a lot of his friends to her big fortieth birthday party.”

  “Why his friends?”

  “I have an idea.” She smiled as she began mentally playing “Here Comes the Bride.” She pulled Dave in for another kiss.

  A few seconds later, Carmella’s voice said, “The boys are—oh.”

  Naomi yelped and spun, her cheeks blazing. “We’ll get going. Thanks for babysitting.”

  Carmella laughed and put her finger to lips. “Officially, they are hanging out at the campground with my son. They’re too old for a babysitter.”

  Dave stood in the middle of the party.

  The Seattle Chief of Police neared him.

  Dave’s palms sweated. Remember, Johnson, you don’t know him. “How are you doing, stranger?”

  The chief glanced at him cross-eyed. “Fine. My name’s Stone Bachmann and yours is?”

  “Dave Johnson. I’m Naomi’s husband.”

  “Ah, yes. That’s a fine wife you have. What she’s done with Powerhouse Incorporated is amazing. You must be proud.”

  Dave nodded and they stood uncomfortably still.

  The chief said, “Well, I better go and find my wife. I’ll talk to you later.”

  Dave glanced at the watch. Parties like this were horrible. Everyone was a stranger. Comic Con or church wasn’t so bad, but this? Ugh.

  Brent McCall slapped Dave on the back. “How’s the wine?”

  Why did he have to ask that? “Sorry, I don’t know. I don’t drink.”

  “Oh. That’s okay. Let me introduce you to someone.” McCall led Dave over to a bearded man wearing a black jacket and a blue and green kilt. “I hear you’re into superhero stories. Well, this guy writes them.”

  Can’t embarrass my lawyer for introducing me to the author of my own comic book, especially when I also have to resist kidding Adam about his cameo being overdue. Dave shook his writer’s hand. “A pleasure to meet you, sir.”

  His writer smiled. “The pleasure’s all mine.”

  McCall asked, “Would you like a coke?”

  “Sure, thanks.” Dave’s crown warmed as McCall dashed off toward a kitchen. Not many hosts at a shindig with about two hundred guests would notice the unhappy one.

  McCall returned with two cokes and said to Dave, “Coke for you and a Coke Zero for you, Adam.”

  “Thanks, sir.” The writer nodded and sipped his drink. “The invitation mentioned something special.”

  McCall nodded. “Oh, it’s gonna be spectacular.”

  “Any hints at what the surprise is?”

  “It
’s for the birthday gal. I need Powerhouse to show up first. He should be along soon.”

  After I exit. Dave cleared his throat. “Excuse me, I need to find my wife.”

  Naomi listened to orchestral music coming from the stage. She reached into her purse and pulled out a business card case with her initials on it and counted. Six. She’d given out six business cards and gotten five back. That’d help with the next Powerhouse foundation fundraiser. Who else could she talk to? She glanced around the room.

  A sweet voice said behind her, “Naomi, darling. How’s everything?””

  “Fine,” Naomi replied as she spun.

  Just as automatically, she snarled and backed away from Leona Campbell. This witchy attorney had brainwashed her into filing divorce papers and almost cost her the boys before she’d reconciled with Dave and got Leona disbarred. Naomi critically eyed the witch’s yellow pants suit, her checkered handbag, and her empty wine glass.

  Leona sneered. “You didn’t ask how I am?”

  Oh, her manners. Naomi gulped. “How are you?”

  “Thanks to you, I can’t get work in the legal field, but I did find two waitress jobs. The old one cut me back to twenty-four hours to not have to pay for my health insurance, but I have a second twenty-hour job that allows me to afford a dingy little apartment. I get no other income, not even my book royalties from Be Loyal to You. Mr. McCall was so nice to ensure you would be receiving them until I satisfied the punitive judgment he obtained against me. But, really, Naomi how is everything? I hear you found religion.”

  “We’re Christians, if that’s what you mean.”

  Leona laughed and staggered. “Why are you going about with shoes on? Must’ve been an oversight by your lord and master. Tell me, have you recently asked someone for help, got them to go out on a limb for you, then destroyed their life, or was that just a one-time thing?”

  “Excuse me,” Dave snapped as he stormed over.

  My hero! Naomi grinned and latched onto his arm..

  Leona laughed. “If isn’t the old ball and chain himself, Naomi. And he said excuse me yet. Jeff Foxworthy must’ve put out an etiquette video.”