Starblood Trilogy

by Carmilla Voiez

  Caves and caverns represent the vagina, don’t they? Could the dream just mean I’m ashamed that I invite more than my fair share of people into my body? I am ashamed. This isn’t me: these feelings, trying desperately to cling onto self-control. The fire inside me, is it a remnant of Binah, of Lilith? Or does it come from the same place as my bubbling, hissing vortex? Is Satori right, after all? Do all my problems stem from my determination to suppress my own self? Are magic and sexuality one and the same?

  Thoughts spiral inwards. Star feels them condense and settle in the centre of her mind. The weight of them puts pressure on her skull and her ears hiss like a kettle that’s starting to boil. Ivan is asleep beside her. She could wake him, but she doubts he can help. Her thoughts reach out to Satori. Black hair obscures a face. Fingers push the silky veil aside. Milky eyes open. Raven grins. Star pulls away. She shivers in Ivan’s loose embrace. Her eyes sting but tears do not fill them. It feels as though her soul has been scooped from her body. She is empty.

  When the apricot tint of sunrise casts its blush across the room, she gets up and makes coffee for them both.

  Chapter 47

  As Satori’s hands trace the lines of Raven’s body he remembers the time she came to him in his room. Star had run off with Lilith and Raven offered to comfort him. Her passion for him was real then. He wonders whether it can be now. Can a ghost love?

  As she looks at him her smile reaches her eyes. She nods as if reading his thoughts. Her face blurs as she moves to kiss his mouth. Her hair shields them both, a safe place in which they can hide from the world. Even if she is not real, her love is. Satori realises that he loves her too.

  They kiss and caress each other. Like before, she rides him and her soft, generous breasts bounce above him as she moves. Being inside her feels cold, but her muscles embrace him and the sensation is wonderful. He does not imagine she is Star. He imagines she is alive and that they never separated after that glorious day in his bedroom. That they are home and the world is good and filled with love. He will never feel lonely or unwanted again.

  Raven does not tire. She bounces as energetically as before. Satori is surprised he has not come. He wonders whether they could do this all day and never grow tired. Beyond her beautiful face and thick black hair, a strange shadow moves across the wall. His body tenses, but she does not seem to notice the change in him.

  Satori focuses his vision, away from Raven’s lovely features, to the wall beyond. A strip of wallpaper hangs away from the plaster. It seems to move, although perhaps it is simply his perspective as he moves beneath Raven. He looks at the strip of wallpaper beside it. As he watches this too curls down and peels away from the wall. The one on the other side does the same. The flesh pink plaster beneath puckers into boils which grow larger and angrier. The boils burst. Darkness flows from them, consuming the plaster, the wallpaper and the wall. The room vanishes into darkness and all that remains is his single bed and his body ridden unceasingly by his dead lover.

  With a strangled cry, he ejaculates.

  Chapter 48

  When they reach the gates of the Snuff Hills mansion Mark tries again to open them.

  ‘How do we get in?’ Kevin asks.

  ‘Last time we wrestled three Rottweilers and climbed over the wall at the back.’

  ‘Hmm,’ Simon says. ‘I reckon I could pick it easy enough.’

  ‘Have you got your gear with you, Si?’ Kevin asks.

  ‘You’re kidding, right. Where else would I have it?’ Simon answers.

  ‘Go for it.’ Kevin nods. ‘Posh neighbourhood like this, someone might call the cops. Have a wander up and down the road, kid. See if there’s anyone about. I’ll keep watch here.’

  ‘No need,’ Simon says. ‘Done it.’

  ‘Already?’ Kevin asks.

  ‘Course.’

  Kevin pushes the gate open. After years of standing guard, it groans in protest and shudders on its hinges. The three walk through and close it behind them.

  ‘Should we bring the car up the drive?’ Simon asks.

  Kevin glances over his shoulder. ‘Nah, better where it is. Just in case.’

  Simon nods in agreement.

  ‘In case of what?’ Mark asks.

  ‘Just in case a curtain-twitcher phones the pigs and we have to leave by another route.’

  ‘Oh,’ Mark says.

  The two skinheads nod and smile. ‘Yup.’

  Mark hasn’t seen the house from this angle before. In spite of the time it has spent empty, its glamour dazzles him. He thinks of the shadowy rooms within and shivers. The huge doorway and the mock Tudor windows jealously protect the house’s secrets.

  ‘Shall I pick it?’ Simon asks as they approach the front door.

  ‘It’s already open at the back,’ Mark answers.

  The trio skirt around the building.

  ‘Look guys, do you think you could wait here while I pop in and see him?’ Mark asks.

  Kevin looks through the broken French doors and whistles. ‘Shame. Fucking vandals.’

  ‘Where is he?’ Simon squeezes through the doorway.

  ‘He might still be upstairs,’ Mark answers. ‘Look…’

  ‘Come on then,’ Kevin urges, ‘Let’s see what this tosser has to say for himself.’

  Mark sighs and follows them inside.

  Simon steps into the dusty hallway ahead of the others. ‘Now that’s fucking creepy.’

  ‘What?’ Kevin asks.

  ‘Come and look.’

  Kevin steps through, inhales deeply then turns around to face Mark. ‘What’s this about?’

  ‘It confused us too. Maybe it’s haunted?’ Mark suggests.

  Simon spins around like a ballerina looking at all the paintings and rugs. ‘It’s a fucking Aladdin’s cave, Kev. We need to come back with the van.’

  Mark passes them and mounts the stairs. The two men follow, gasping each time they spot a new treasure. Mark leads them to the bedroom in which he left Satori a few hours before. He nods. ‘In here. Look, can you…’

  Kevin shoulders past and opens the door.

  It takes Mark a moment to register the change when he steps into the room. No longer on his back, Satori lies peacefully on his side; between his naked body and the wall of the room is a sleeping woman.

  The female figure rises first and looks straight at Mark. Her snow-white hair dazzles him. A fragile looking white dress barely covers her ebony skin. As she moves, Mark realises he can see through her to the pattern on the wallpaper behind.

  ‘Who are you?’ he asks.

  She doesn’t answer.

  Kevin grunts and wanders over to poke Satori’s arm. ‘You mean this ain’t the bloke you told Garlow about?’

  ‘Huh?’ Mark asks.

  ‘Is this or is this not the bloke who knows where your mam is?’

  Mark nods. ‘But…’

  Kevin pulls Satori from the bed to the floor. Shock registers in Satori’s eyes as he bounces against the floorboards. Kevin grabs a fist full of hair and drags his head off the floor. ‘Hey, girly boy. We got a couple of questions to ask you.’

  Satori tries to shake his head free. His eyes dart around the room.

  ‘Look at me,’ Kevin growls.

  Satori seems unable to keep his head still. He watches the walls. His head keeps turning and the skin beneath his eyes twitches. His face is full of terror yet he seems oblivious to Kevin’s presence.

  Mark looks from Satori to the woman. The woman snarls. Her fists are balls and her muscles twitch with anger. Neither of the skinheads notices she is there.

  ‘Tell him where he can find his mam, you cunt!’ Kevin spits into Satori’s face.

  Satori’s eyes turn toward Kevin. His expression is blank, his eyes dark with confusion as if he wonders where he is and what he’s doing on the floor.

  ‘Raven,’ he says.

  The woman’s head and neck twist to face Satori.

  ‘It’s so dark.’ Satori groans.

 
‘Satori,’ Mark calls.

  Satori looks across the room at Mark. Kevin lets go of his hair and Satori’s head drops to the floor with a thud. Simon kicks Satori’s waist, making him gasp and cough. Satori’s eyes do not waver from Mark’s. Mark stares at him in silence then looks back to the bed. The woman’s hair floats around her face. Her mouth is open as if she screams in silent fury. Both arms in front of her, she pounces from the bed and tears at Kevin and Simon’s cheeks. The two men howl and shrink away from Satori.

  ‘How the fuck!’ Simon yells.

  The woman rushes towards the skinheads again. Her nails dig into their faces. Their deep wounds pour with blood as they face Mark, terrified.

  ‘We should go,’ Simon stammers.

  Mark nods.

  ‘Kid, come with us. Get out of here. There’s some kind of fucking ghost in this house, Mate. We’ll find your mam another way.’

  The two almost fall through the doorway and down the stairs in their haste. Mark stands still, watching Satori. The female figure sits beside the magician, stroking his hair.

  ‘Can you see it too?’ Satori’s wide eyes focus on Raven’s face.

  She continues stroking his hair. Her mouth moves as if she might be singing a lullaby.

  ‘Who is she?’ Mark asks.

  ‘Raven,’ Satori answers. ‘Can you see it? Can you see the darkness in the walls?’

  Mark shakes his head. ‘No, the room is light. Is she dead?’

  ‘Kind of,’ Satori says. ‘Above you, there.’ He points to the corner of the room.

  Mark looks where he is directed. There is a faint brown tint to the wallpaper as if discoloured by mildew.

  Satori scratches his arms. His face looks pale. ‘Did I dream it or did a couple of men just attack me?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m sorry about that,’ Mark answers.

  ‘They said you’re looking for your mum, right?’

  Mark nods.

  ‘And you think I know where she is.’ Satori stops scratching his arms and stands up to face Mark. Raven floats in circles around Satori caressing his waist and his head, pouting with a kiss on her lips.

  Mark nods again.

  Satori closes his eyes, breathes deeply then opens them again. Mark feels the man’s careful study of his face, the dark hair, warm skin and the bright green eyes. ‘And you can’t see the darkness around you?’

  ‘No sorry. I can’t,’ Mark replies.

  Satori shrugs and frowns. He cocks his head to one side. ‘Who is your Mum?’

  Mark stares at Satori. Raven disentangles herself from Satori and floats towards Mark. She traces the lines of his face with her cool finger tips, frowns, shakes her head and returns to Satori, whispering theatrically into his ear behind her cupped hand.

  ‘Who is your mum, Mark?’ Satori asks again.

  Mark swallows hard. ‘Star.’

  Tears gather in Satori’s eyes. He stares at Mark, his son, and shakes his head. ‘You’re much older than I expected.’

  ‘Where is she?’ Mark asks.

  ‘So that’s why all those people were chasing you.’

  ‘Where is Star?’

  ‘My mum, her friends, they must have known. How did she know?’

  ‘They want to steal my power,’ Mark says.

  Satori sneers. His back straightens and he seems to grow taller. ‘Your power? What power do you have worth stealing?’

  Mark lowers his eyes. ‘Just tell me where she is.’

  ‘No,’ Satori replies.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I am not telling you where she is. You can run back to Lilith and tell her I told you to fuck off.’

  ‘Dad, don’t.’

  Raven turns and stares at Mark again. She smiles and mouths the word “Dad”.

  ‘Fuck off!’ Satori shouts. ‘It’s the end of it. We’ve left those places for good, even if the darkness wants me back, I’m staying here and so is she.’

  ‘Really? You weren’t there while you were sleeping, plucking that woman from death’s embrace?’ Mark points at Raven who smiles.

  ‘I don’t have to justify myself to you. I’ve faced enough challenges and won them all. Just go.’

  ‘I’m not going and I really don’t want to hurt you.’

  Raven snarls at Mark and raises her claws in warning.

  ‘Go,’ Satori says. He holds his hands against his temples. His eyes try to focus on Mark, but the pupils keep drifting towards the walls.

  Mark raises his right arm and steps forward. ‘Where is Star?’

  Satori whispers under his breath. Words, whose meanings are long forgotten, draw energy from the room.

  A ball of flame grows in the palm of Mark’s hand. ‘You know who I am. You don’t want to fight.’

  Satori keeps whispering and draws his hands apart, energy crackles between his palms. Raven moves between the challengers, scratching Mark’s face and caressing Satori’s arm. Neither stands down.

  ‘Dad, I really don’t want to hurt you. Just tell me where I can find her…’

  Satori turns his palms to face his son. Lightning bolts hit Mark and send him flying through the air. The boy hits a wall and falls to the floor. He gets back up, his face dark with shadows. Mark breathes into the palm of his hand and makes a fist. As if throwing a ball to Satori he pulls back his arm and releases a sphere of fire.

  Satori’s hair catches first. It burns like a halo around his face. He screams. Flames rush downwards, choking the sound of screams, and burning through the man’s flesh. Satori’s screams of pain rush through Mark’s veins giving him strength. The fear and horror his father feels fill Mark with energy that makes his organs crackle and his skin tingle. Satori’s body blackens as the inferno engulfs him. Within seconds his father is no more than a twisted and withered set of charred, human remains on the floor of the room, but the fire keeps spreading. It moves outwards from the corpse. A ring of fire consumes furniture, curtains and wallpaper. As it reaches Mark, it splits to move around him. The fire burns out as it reaches the door to the upstairs landing. The tendrils of flame do not reach beyond the doorframe. Mark looks at Raven. Draping her body over Satori’s corpse, she weeps.

  ‘You should have just told me,’ Mark says. ‘Fuck it! I know anyway. This is pointless. Why didn’t you just let her go? Why must you always be the protector?’

  Raven turns and looks at Mark. The female spirit’s features shift. Her eyes grow huge and fierce, narrow at the edges, bulging at the centre. Her nose flattens and widens, her nostrils flare. Her mouth opens so wide she looks as though she could swallow Mark’s head whole. Inside teeth like daggers are revealed as she screams her silent yet terrible scream of rage.

  White hair floats around her black shoulders. She pounces at him. Claws dig into his skin. Her tears of anger scald his skin. She loves this man: Mark’s father. She loves him beyond reason and now she wants to kill his murderer.

  The force of her blows sends Mark running from the room. She chases him down the stairs and her wails waken other restless spirits in the house: dead children, mutilated by the previous owner in his quest to horde power. With Raven as their leader, the desperate children surround Mark eager to have their revenge on someone, anyone. Their suffering in life poisons their sleep. They cannot rest. They must destroy and make others suffer in the way they suffered. While Raven pulls his hair, scratches his face and rips his cheek with her teeth, the children gather around him, prodding him, punching him, kicking him. They tear at his clothes and use their fists and arms to debase him in the many ways they had been debased before they died.

  Mark cannot think. The pain and anger which surround him confuse his senses. He shakes his head. He is greater than this. These ghosts cannot hurt him and yet they do. Their humiliation and rage infect him. He sways with their blows and screams as they invade his body. He sees in Raven’s bulging eyes a complete surrender to her rage, to the point of insanity, and he feels sorry for her. Tears of regret for the harm he has caused flood from his eyes
and the pores in his skin. His tattered clothing is soaked in misery.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘This should never have happened.’

  The ghosts take a step back and study him. His skin looks purple and green from the bruises they have inflicted. A puddle of tears and sweat spread from him across the floor. His face hangs with sadness and shame. The ghosts cry too. They share his guilt and they pity him.

  He watches their distress for a moment and walks away out of the hallway, through the kitchen and into the garden. He keeps walking. Ignoring his torn clothing, he tries to separate himself from the hall of death as quickly as possible. As he moves away his soul repairs the damage. It stops the infection spreading. He feels stronger with every step he takes and by the time he reaches the driveway a smile spreads across his face and he starts to whistle.

  A cold hand on his shoulder makes him jump. He turns around to face the ghost of Raven. Outside the house her colours have changed. Her skin is white and her hair black. Her features have quietened and her face, while strong and unique, is no longer an object of terror.

  ‘Well done,’ she says.

  He shivers. He had thought she was mute, but her voice pours into him like freezing mercury, gripping his heart and lungs.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ He tries in vain to mimic the shame and sadness that had affected the ghosts so profoundly before.

  Raven appears unconvinced by his display. She frowns. ‘You took away the man I love. He saved me from death only yesterday. We were going to spend his life together and you killed him.’

  ‘In that case, technically…’

  Raven screams and Mark covers his ears.

  ‘I want revenge,’ she tells him.

  He shakes his head. ‘You can’t hurt me.’

  ‘Oh yes I can,’ she tells him. ‘I know who you are looking for.’

  Mark shakes her hand from his shoulder and takes a step back.

  ‘And I know how to kill her.’

  ‘I’m sorry. You can’t kill anyone. You’re a ghost. You’re dead.’

  ‘Wait and see.’ Raven laughs, waves and disappears.