Choices

by Liz Schulte

  “I thought you wouldn’t be in today.” Her hands twitched nervously.

  “Yet here I am. You’re late.”

  “I had other business to attend to.”

  “Like what?”

  “None of your business.” She tried to brush past me, but I caught her arm.

  “That’s where you’re wrong. You’re my responsibility; all you do is my business. This isn’t a democracy, and you aren’t free.” I said, backing her against the wall.

  “Just finished off a new recruit. Jeez, Holden, take a joke.”

  This time I did let her push by me, though my eyes followed her until she was out of sight. I didn’t trust her at all. I made a mental note to tell Baker to have her followed, and left the building.

  Punk rock pulsated through me as I wove my way to Phoenix’s table and his newest collection of tattooed and pierced co-eds. When he saw me, he tilted his chin in acknowledgement. “Anyone look to your taste, Holden?”

  I shook my head and Phoenix dismissed his groupies.

  “What brings you here, old man?”

  I took a seat in the curved booth across from him. “Just stopping by to check on you.”

  “You aren’t going to ruin my atmosphere again, are you?”

  “Hadn’t planned on it, but you can never tell. How’s training coming along?”

  “Good.” In exchange for my showing Phoenix some of the cooler advanced tricks, he agreed to head up the lower level training. I generally tried to stop by on training days, wanting the new ones to know me and hopefully develop loyalty among them. “You didn’t come by today.”

  “I had other responsibilities.”

  Phoenix draped his arms across the back of the booth. “Being the leader must suck.”

  “It isn’t as much fun as it sounds, no.”

  “But you’re good at it. I already notice a difference. It’s amazing what a little organization can accomplish. If we started this fifteen years ago, the city would be ours now.”

  “Perhaps. I hear there’s going to be an increased guardian presence because our advancements haven’t gone unnoticed. Have you encountered many guardians?”

  “Not one. You?”

  “A few.”

  “Are they challenging? They sound like pushovers to me.”

  “Not necessarily challenging, but don’t underestimate them. They have an appealing message. People like to be happy more than they like to get revenge or hurt people. It could be a problem, and decreasing productivity isn’t an option. Make sure our people are ready.”

  “What are we supposed to do to them if we can’t touch them?”

  “Be a stronger influence. Guardians are gentle with their message, but it sticks better than ours, so just make sure you aren’t cutting corners and keep after the people. If you run into any real trouble, let me know.”

  “Never had guardians hanging around when Danica was in charge.”

  I gave him a hard look.

  “Must be doing something right.”

  “We’ll see, I guess.”

  I passed along the news to Mears and Isaac as well. The jinn population of Chicago would be ready for whatever the guardians could throw at us.

  ****

  A few weeks later I was sitting in my office when my door slammed open. Phoenix stormed in, the door denting the wall.

  “You said they weren’t strong in their suggestions.”

  “Have a seat.”

  His face still raged with hate.

  “What happened?”

  “A bitch guardian stole my mark. I’ve been working this kid for three months easy, and over one lousy lunch she undid everything I did. And to make it worse, I can’t even get a good foothold to start over.”

  I frowned. There was no way a guardian should be that strong. “Do you know who she is? Her name?”

  “Why would I know that? It isn’t like we were hanging out, becoming besties.” At the word besties he clasped his hands in front of himself and gave me a tight smile that made him look homicidal.

  “I’ll see if I can track her down.”

  “What can you do about her? There’s a truce.”

  “Everyone has a weakness. Even guardians. It’s just a matter of finding and exploiting that weakness to our advantage.”

  Phoenix grumbled and stewed, but seemed okay with my solution.

  “Has anyone else had issues?”

  “No.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

  I laughed. This was an ego issue—and there was no room for egos in the jinn world. We may think highly of ourselves, but if someone beats us, we find a way to best them the next round. “Get out of my office and get back to work. I’ll check into the guardian. Let me know if you hear anything that will help.”

  I’d just started back into what I was working on, when that pain rushed me again. Damn it, this had to stop. Baker had to find whoever was doing this to me. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t fight my pain and this pain.

  Olivia, I thought, reaching out with my mind, just in case.

  I closed my computer down, locked up, and started for home. Eventually the pain subsided. The night was quiet and tranquil. Then something like a sigh moved through my mind and a flash of a person who moved like Olivia turned the corner about a block in front of me.

  Before I knew what I was doing, I was running after her, stupid heart thumping in my chest.

  Twenty

  Melancholy hung over Olivia, though she put on a good front and pushed through it. She worked harder than any new guardian I've ever seen, but as I got to know her better, it was clear she was unhappy. No matter what she learned or who she helped, she never moved a step away from her past. Olivia remained anchored to a life she could never have again. I admired the fact that she refused to give in and try to go back—though that had to be a huge temptation. She demonstrated her strength of will and character every day by not succumbing to what had to be a constant pull against her. Every new guardian had their breakdowns. The moment they insisted on seeing their families one last time, to go home for a visit, or do whatever it was that reminded them of who they were. Olivia wore her past like a band around her arm, always stopping herself from moving forward. I couldn’t tell why she did it. If she didn’t want to go back, why wouldn’t she let it go? She didn't request to speak with her mother, she never spoke Holden's name, and she didn't even blink an eye in the direction of St. Louis. She grieved alone despite my best efforts.

  Olivia excelled at empathy, but was less proficient at forgiveness. She could dissect a situation faster than anyone I had ever known, but she wouldn’t lead the person she was helping. I decided she would never be happy until I let her help the people she saw who needed help. So long as we kept it quiet, I thought, what could it hurt?

  It only took a day of her searching out and helping people, however, before it started to cause fights. She insisted on either shoving them with her mind to exactly where she wanted them to be, or presenting them with paths and letting them choose their destiny. There was never just a nudge in the correct direction. She insisted it was their right to choose what path they wanted, unless she saw something in their aura that made her frown. In that case, she shoved them hard with her mind towards her desired outcome. I tried to make her see that it was our job to direct them to the correct path, but not force them. By evening, we agreed to disagree, as her method appeared to be as effective as my own, perhaps more so even.

  My meetings with Ezra hadn’t slowed throughout her training. We averaged at least once a week. Some weeks he just listened. Other weeks he questioned me about her state of mind and progress in certain areas. His exact interest in her or what he was looking for remained a mystery. His questions often appeared to be random or about insignificant occurrences. He didn't appear to care that her ability to identify people needing guidance was growing, as was her ability to directly suggest paths. Yet he did ask if she was suffering from nightmares and if she disappeared for any length of time witho
ut explanation. I answered his questions to the best of my abilities, but I had no idea what signs he expected me to report to him.

  Holden was her only secret that I kept from him because it had nothing to do with her present life. She was obviously making a valiant effort to deal with that on her own, so there was no need to bring an elder into the situation. It was impossible to say what was going on in her head with regard to him. Whether she was hurt, angry, still in love . . . at this point, it was anybody's guess, but so long as she stayed away from him, I would stay out of it. Most of the time, Olivia was friendly and directed every conversation back to me, while rarely volunteering anything of a personal nature. Something about her calm face and curious eyes made it easy to forget that our conversations tended to be one sided.

  Olivia strolled into the kitchen, dressed and ready to begin working, while I was eating breakfast. “What am I learning today, Obi Wan?” she asked, sitting down at the table with me.

  “Nothing.” She waited patiently for me to continue. “What you need is practical experience.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Haven’t I been getting practical experience?”

  She had a point, but only because she recognized people who needed help while we were out practicing—what else were we supposed to do? Ignore them? “This is different. These will be your assignments, not people you choose.”

  “Like I'm going to be graded?”

  “No, we receive assignments that tell us who, when, and where. Our job is to show up. No one grades us. If you fail, people get hurt. If you succeed, people are saved. It's as easy as that.”

  "Holy crap. No pressure or anything.” She chewed on her lip.

  "You'll be wonderful, and I'll be there if you need me."

  "Who decides which person is worthy of our attention and which one we ignore?"

  “The high elders.”

  “Oh, them. I don’t suppose you would tell me what criteria they use? State secret?"

  “I have no idea.”

  She mumbled to herself before redirecting her attention to me. "Where do we go to get our assignments?”

  “We already have them.”

  “What? How?”

  “They were dropped off.” I pointed to a piece of curled paper on the counter.

  “The elders I’m not allowed to meet came here to drop off the assignments?”

  “No, it was a carrier. They have more pressing matters.”

  She jammed her hands against her hips. “Am I ever going to get to meet them?"

  "Eventually, though I can’t say when.”

  She made a derisive sound.

  “I know how frustrating it must be for you, but trust me, it is for the best."

  "That argument is the biggest piece of—”

  “Olivia,” I cut her off with a warning tone.

  She sighed. "Where are we going?”

  “Illinois.”

  She frowned. “But we're in Italy. They couldn’t find anywhere closer? There are plenty of people in this city who need help.”

  “We can be assigned anywhere. I just happen to live in Italy. Which reminds me—you can get your own apartment, anywhere, anytime you want. You're proficient enough at transporting that you don’t need to live here for the remainder of your training.”

  I probably should have mentioned it to her as soon as she successfully transported, but I had gotten used to having her around. It wasn’t until my latest meeting with Ezra and he asked me where she decided to move that I realized she didn’t know she could leave.

  “I don’t have any money,” she said flatly. “Do I get a job or how does this work?”

  “Apartments are provided along with modest bank accounts. You just have to put in a request for a city and a furnished apartment will be arranged for you.”

  “So I can go anywhere?”

  “Absolutely. May I suggest somewhere you feel comfortable? Somewhere you feel you belong? Rome has always been my home, so it's a pleasure to come back after a long day. If you go somewhere unfamiliar, it's harder to adjust.”

  “Can I think about it for a while, or do I need to decide now? I assume St. Louis is out of the question.”

  “Eventually you can go back, but not yet. You have to wait about a century before you can reside there again.”

  She nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

  "No rush. I like having you here." I smiled and she looked down at her hands, gone behind the walls again. After several seconds of awkward silence, I handed her the piece of paper with the address and the name of the person we were to help in Illinois. She read the words carefully. “Are you ready?”

  She nodded. An instant later we were on the cold streets of Highland Park, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. Olivia studied her surroundings as if memorizing them. “You should make yourself a coat,” I pointed out to her.

  “I’m not cold,” she said off-handedly.

  “Of course you're not, but it's for appearances. There's snow on the ground. You'll standout without a coat.”

  A second later, she resumed her inspection of our whereabouts, wearing a calf length red wool coat, white gloves and a scarf. I looked down the street lined with shops and people milling around the sidewalks. It wouldn’t be easy to find him in this mess.

  “Coffee shop,” Olivia said.

  I looked at the coffee shop behind us. “How do you know?”

  “I can see him.”

  “Which one is he?”

  “The fidgety, pale one with colored hair at the table has a troubling aura.”

  We walked through the door together. She immediately headed towards him, but I pulled her into the order line with me. The young man was marked by a jinni, and it was a deep well cultivated mark. I was very curious to see how well she would go up against this, but I was surprised this was her first assignment. It didn’t seem they were going to take it easy on her.

  “The cases you are assigned will be different, Firefly. Not quite as easy as walking up to them and striking up a conversation. You need to assess the situation.”

  She glanced around the room. “I need to talk to him sooner rather than later.”

  “Why?”

  “His aura is becoming volatile and really smoky. The situation will get a lot worse and fast if I don’t.”

  Deciding not to question her instincts, I let her go. Olivia learned best by doing. If this was a mistake then I could probably handle it. She walked over and sat at the table with the nervous young man. He was obviously startled by her forwardness, but soon visibly relaxed. Before I ordered our coffees, I heard him let out a short barking laugh. I glanced back and she smiled at him. The boy no longer appeared agitated or bothered. By the time I picked up our order, he and Olivia were walking towards the door together. When they stepped outside, she waved to him as he walked down the street. I waited a few moments then joined her on the sidewalk.

  “What happened?”

  “Crisis averted for now. He was going to open fire in the coffee shop, I think. His ex-girlfriend is working here.”

  “How did you change his mind?”

  “I noticed him,” she said simply, but her words struck a deeper chord with me. She noticed me not too long ago too, and my life had changed from that moment on. Sometimes just noticing someone could change everything.

  “So you are done?”

  She shook her head. “There's still a chance he'll end up here. I think a jinni’s been working him, a powerful one too. I said I'd have lunch with him, hopefully reverse the damage.”

  “How can you tell it was a jinni?”

  “His emotions seemed lacking in something … sincerity maybe. His aura had a grey smokiness to it like the girl in Rome, and it sort of made my skin crawl.”

  She didn’t identify jinn victims the same way I did then. I saw them as voids, just like I saw jinn. I wondered briefly what she would see when she looked at a jinni now, and with my next thought, prayed she would never meet a jinni face to face. It wasn’t e
asy to undo the web that jinn wove around humans. Olivia's tendency to shut down when anything Holden related was mentioned, apparently didn’t extend to jinn. She appeared to be fine working against them. I would let her work off her instincts and see where that got her, rather than trying to give her advice she wouldn’t take. “What do you want to do next?”

  “Ummm, yeah … following him might be for the best.”

  The boy worked a few blocks over at an electronics store. We watched him all morning, but everything seemed fine. I was silently thankful the jinni that had worked him didn’t come by to prod him. The diner where Olivia agreed to meet him was bright and colorful, but looks were often deceiving. I needed to check the restaurant for jinn before she went in. I wasn't ready for them to see her yet, and she certainly wasn't prepared for such an encounter.

  “I’m going in first. I'll get a booth close by. Wait a couple minutes before you come inside,” I told her.

  The diner was moderately busy, but it wasn’t too much trouble to get the booth across from the one where the young man nervously waited. I didn't see a jinni in sight. It was safe for now. Olivia walked through the door, looking completely human and beautiful. Snowflakes stuck to her hair and a wide smile covered her face when she saw the boy—a smile that seemed like it was just for him. I felt a seed of dislike for this young man take root.

  “Nathan! I’m so happy you came,” she said, sitting down across from him. Nathan’s face lit up and a shy smile fluttered across his jaw, crinkling his eyes.

  She spent the entire meal talking to him about nothing. They spoke of television, music, and movies, but never anything important or relative to our mission. All the while her light braided itself around his chest, thick as a rope. She didn’t appear to be struggling, but she also didn’t appear to be concerned with the mission. Outwardly she just looked like a nice, interested young woman who had never known the darker side of life. As their meal neared its end Nathan suddenly reached across the table and seized her hand.