Behind Your Eyes

by Susannah Woods

  “What?” Alex was startled.

  Don Francisco laughed again. “I can see, Alexander, that she is a special young lady. You cannot hide that from me.”

  Alex tried to deny it, tried to laugh at his uncle's suspicions.

  “You cannot run forever, Alexander. The world is a large place but some things you cannot escape,” Don Francisco advised.

  Alex thought about that for a minute then laughed again and shook his head. He kissed his uncle once again and took his leave, heading toward the ship.

  Checking his pocket watch, he wondered how long it would take to buy a dress for Anne. He wanted to smooth things over. What was done, was done and they may as well not fight anymore over it. While the situation was not ideal for either of them, they had to make the best of it. Now that his anger had waned, he was beginning to see this for what it was. Maybe after they were married, he could send Anne back to England. He could give her enough to live comfortably and they could stay on their opposite ends of the world. Just how big was the world? Is it big enough to outrun her?

  Suddenly, the world shrunk to two lavender orbs and his unease grew. The thought of sending her away from him caught him low in the gut but he dismissed it as guilt. Guilt over their misunderstanding. Picking up his speed, Alex was determined to shake himself out of his depressing musings. He supposed he wouldn't feel himself until they arrived on Colinas Verdes. It was his home, his fortress. He felt safe there. And he would be able to think clearly and logically about his future wife. The injured party with which he had to make amends.

  ********

  As promised, Anne was ready to accompany Alex onshore when he returned.

  She looked beautiful in her blue morning dress. Upon his complement, she thanked him coolly and he sighed. It might be a very long voyage.

  Alex advised Anne to stay close to him as they disembarked the ship and walked down the docks. The port was bustling with ships from all over the world. Cotton, tobacco, indigo, sugar cane, coffee, tea, and other various sundries were stacked all over the place.

  Anne had never seen so many goods in one place before. It was not as if she spent any time down in London's docks. No respectable lady would spend time there.

  “Amazing, isn't it,” Alex commented, reading her thoughts.

  “Truly,” Anne agreed. Then, “Where are we going?”

  “Dress shopping. I...I wanted to apologize for our misunderstanding,” he coughed.

  “Besides, you will need clothes suited to a warmer climate.”

  His comment made her blush, as well as the way he was surveying her body. She felt flushed all at once. Mentally controlling her body temperature, the heat left her immediately and she feigned total indifference.

  They arrived at the only ladies' dress shop on Tenerife after a brief walk. Since there was no time to make clothes, they had to buy all pre-made offerings. Most of the dresses were simple and made of Indian muslin. Since it was a lighter fabric, it would help her tolerate the hot Caribbean sun.

  While Anne was getting measured for her new clothes, Alex took a stroll down to the docks. He knew a trader who might be able to get him something special for Anne. Sure enough, he had colored pencils and parchment for drawing. Alex payed him handsomely for the rare set and quickly returned to the dress shop.

  Anne had found two dresses and was trying on a third one when Alex returned. He remembered how beautiful she had looked the day he first saw her. He couldn't remember what she had been wearing, but the light in her eyes had shone through. They had been curious and assessing at first. Then they had fought and she pulled into herself. He had mourned the loss of that laughter on her face and admitted it was his fault. They had been getting close and he got scared as hell. Suddenly very contrite, he decided to try harder to make this relationship work.

  Anne noticed Alex's return the second he walked in the door. Her gaze seemed to gravitate towards him no matter where they were. It was strange to think that she could locate him anywhere. She seemed to just know when he was or wasn't there. It was a bit unsettling to know someone on that level when you wanted nothing to do with them.

  Anne found several dresses, underclothes, and slippers. Alex gladly paid for the entire wardrobe. By the time they finished at the modiste's, it was late afternoon and Alex was famished. He surmised she was too, however, she had said nothing.

  When they returned to the ship, he asked Thomas to carrying her purchases to her cabin ordered luncheon to be served in his cabin and requested Anne's presence. She reluctantly accepted.

  Anne had been cool to him all day but he prayed that he could find a way to mend things. He knew he had overreacted and he intended to make up for it. As it happened, he made things worse. He never thought something as simple as a kiss would ruin a relationship, but it seemed to turn Anne into a block of ice.

  Luncheon had been perfectly lovely. The two had chatted over ham and cheese on biscuits with wine to drink. Anne asked politely about his business this morning and he told her of his uncle and his parent's rocky courtship.

  “My grandfather had disapproved of his daughter's relationship with a Protestant Englishman. My uncle said he had threatened my mother with banishment if she dared think about continuing with my father. When my mother's pregnancy outside of wedlock was discovered, my grandfather swore the 'Englishman' would pay,” Alex stopped short, realizing his misstep.

  “Did your parents manage to elope?” Anne asked, engrossed in the story.

  Alex sighed, shook his head. He surmised if she was to be his wife, she best know about him. Taking a big chance, he told her his parents never made it to the altar.

  When she didn't make a sound, he explained, “My mother died in childbirth. She loved my father and he wanted to marry her, but for my grandfather's disapproval. Don Francisco had been merely thirteen at the time but he told me he remembered his sister's sad face with clarity. My father didn't make it in time. The night I was born he took me to England and claimed me as his legitimate son. I suppose at the time he never thought my older brother would die so young.” Alex trailed off, losing himself in his grief.

  Something around Anne's heart tugged and wouldn't let go. She watched Alex's face turn with emotion at each moment and she knew he was a good man at heart. The thought terrified her and she pushed it down into her belly and distanced herself from him again. The fact that his parents were not legally wed did not faze her so much. From her understanding, children were born on the opposite side of the sheets all the time. Cynicism replaced any tender feelings she had and she clung to it, her one lifeline in this tumultuous relationship.

  Anne poured herself another glass of wine and relished as it fanned the flames of her pessimism. Realizing the bottle was empty after a time, she suspected they had both gotten carried away. She had seen Alex repeatedly help himself to the ruby liquid.

  The alcohol had lowered their guard and by the end of the meal, Anne was giggling for the most inane reasons and Alex was chuckling at Anne's inability to hold her alcohol.

  Blinking to clear her suddenly blurry vision, Anne laughed again and stood to leave his cabin to take a nap. As she did, she was overcome by dizziness and she reached out to steady herself. In seconds he was there, his warm hands under her elbow. The simple contact warmed her and drew her to him at once. He looked at her in surprise and she barely shook her head at him, denying she felt anything. So she was a bit off guard when he bent his head and brushed her lips with his own. Then he took her mouth roughly, sweeping her tongue with his. Anne felt more dizzy from the kiss than the wine, but she fell into it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on, letting him take her where he wished.

  Alex knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't help himself. She was silly and innocent and beautiful all at once. He wanted to be unburdened of his guilt over their fight and his sadness over his life. His conversation with his uncle had brought the mouring back to him, reminded him that Phillip was gone. Reminded him that Chris had
been kidnapped. Reminded him that everyone he ever loved left him. His mother died giving birth to him. His father died while he was in India. Alex never got the chance to say goodbye. He never even got a chance to tell his brother he loved him before he died. Now Chris was gone and probably dead and it was all his fault. If he hadn't asked Chris to help him catch Barnsley, Chris might be off charming a Russian heiress out of her fortune.

  Now that he was in Anne's arms, he wanted to float in the ephemeral silliness of her. Wanted to lose himself for a while. It felt wonderful.

  Anne wanted this kiss to go on for the rest of her life. The thought was like ice running down her back. The rest of her life? No way. He is a jerk. And controlling. Too much like her mother. I love my mother but I have a choice here. I can let him in and get my heart trampled on or I can keep him at a distance and control my own life.

  She abruptly broke free, pushing him away from her.

  “I think I'd better go back to your cabin, my lord. I seemed to have overindulged in the wine and have lost my senses. I apologize,” she said coldly.

  What the hell? Alex thought they were getting along with all the laughing and now she was cold again. No, frozen. He shivered in the ice, missing the heat of her body. She was on fire a few minutes ago; that was the Anne he wanted. Now she was the Anne he despised. The cold, stone-faced rock. No emotions, no expressions. He mourned the loss of his friend and sighed, knowing it was his fault.

  “Anne, I am sorry. I'm sorry I accused you of manipulating me. I truly believe it was not you. Please forgive me?” He wasn't used to begging, but he supposed it was something he had to learn to do every now and then if he wanted a peaceful marriage.

  Anne fled his cabin without response and he ran his hand through his hair and sighed heavily again. It would only get worse. From then on, Anne mostly ignored him. She refused his dinner invitations, refused his offers to take a turn about the deck. She had even returned the pencil set unopened. This is going to be a long voyage.

  *******

  The trip across the Atlantic seemed long to Anne, given the fact that she was alone most of the time. The kiss had left her shaken, had made her want to melt into his arms. It had scared her to the core. Refusing to dwell on it, she read book after book and used the rudimentary drawing materials Thomas had procured for her. Life on a ship turned out to be routine and endless horizons. Anne stayed in her cabin or below decks as much as possible, avoiding Alex at all cost.

  By the end of the first week, Anne was bored to tears but refused to admit it. She conceded that she would have to see Alex at some point. After a week without him, she was sure she could be near him without losing her composure.

  The second week, Anne finally asked Thomas to escort her topside. She took full advantage of each day, spending hours in the sun, drawing everything from the crow's nest lookout to a simple deckhand wiping away the grime and salt of another day spent at sea.

  Two more weeks passed and Anne fell into her own routine. She would wake around eight in the morning and call for Thomas. A hot bath was drawn and breakfast served promptly. She would dress simply; without the assistance of a ladies' maid, she was unable to tie a corset. After she dressed, she took a turn about the deck. Thomas would teach her the jobs of the men on board. They would chat about London and other pleasantries. And so, Anne had fallen into a nice ordinary existence. Which suited her just fine. She had no use for Alex and she was very happy about that.

  Good weather all the way through the Atlantic had carted them across the sea in six weeks' time.

  Thomas had told her very little about their destination. She already knew the island Alex lived on was called Colinas Verdes and he owned a large plantation there where he grew sugar cane. She knew nothing else. So, as they neared the island, Anne felt a certain anticipation in the pit of her stomach. This was the moment she had been dreading since she learned that she was to be married to some West Indies plantation owner.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “We planned to run away. We just wanted to sail to the far corners of the world together. We could have built a paradise for ourselves.”

  The ship slowed. Although there was a cool breeze, the sun was hot on Anne's face. She could feel her cheeks turning pink; her fair skin roasting in the rays. Occasionally, she could feel mist of the sea splash her face, soothing her. The day was so clear, with a dark blue sky. She held on tight to the railing; the anchoring swayed the boat and she was unsteady on her feet. Anne had noted the change in the water color. It was dark at first, then it became lighter and lighter as they neared land. She had never seen water so clear. A castle came slowly into focus. No, not a castle, a fortress, she amended. It was sitting on the edge of a cliff, guarding the island like St. Peter must guard the gates of heaven. Slowly, they came closer and closer to its imposing walls. Then, the ship rounded the island, turning into a cove behind the castle.

  The backside of the castle could not have been more different from the front. Where the front was forbidding, the back was inviting. The seaward side of the castle was a dark, forbidding gray, unappealing to the human palate. The opposing side, however was a colorful contrast. A lush green rolling hill sloped gently from the backside, ending on a smaller cliff that overhung a small beach. As she looked, Anne spotted more cliffs around the grounds. They were small; carved by God Himself, no doubt.

  Anne noticed a pathway between the hills, leading up to a large house on one of the tallest hills. She had never seen anything like it. It was beautiful.

  Alex came up behind her and startled her out of her visual exploration.

  “Beautiful, isn't it?” Alex asked.

  “Yes,” Anne breathed, “it is. I have never seen such bright colors.”

  Alex nodded in agreement, staring at Anne. They stood at the rail, admiring the exotic landscape. Alex had lived here a long time and he still felt amazed every time he returned.

  “The hills are so...big,” Anne finished for lack of a better word.

  “Well, that is why this island was named Colinas Verdes. We certainly have green hills.”

  “Yes, you do,” Anne agreed, too stunned by the scenery to say anything else.

  Anne suddenly turned to Alex in question, “What was that fortress I saw on the way in?”

  “It is an old Spanish fortress. The Spanish settled on this island nearly three hundred years ago. A fort was built to protect this island, as well as a few of the neighboring islands. After the Spaniards discovered more resources could be found further west, these islands were abandoned. The government gave my great-grandfather this island as reward for loyal service. It was passed down to my uncle. He still owns it, but I consider it my home. And the plantation is mine,” he finished.

  “This is all yours?” Anne's eyes widened with amazement.

  “All these majestic mounds of green,” Alex teased.

  They both laughed as the ship finally anchored. The crew immediately prepared for Alex and Anne's debarkation. Alex took Anne's elbow and guided her towards the pier. He assured her that her trunk would be in her bedchamber by the time she arrived there.

  Anne never gave any thought to her bedchamber. She presumed she would sleep somewhere, but she never thought about it. All of a sudden, she felt overwhelmed. She had six weeks to get accustomed to this situation, never realizing the true implications or impact to her life. Her life had been turned upside-down. Everything she had ever known was suddenly gone. She was in a new place with new people. She felt very much alone.

  “Not to worry, Anne,” Alex assured her, “you will have every luxury and comfort. I want you to feel at ease here. This is your home now,” he whispered in her ear. His breath was hot; his words almost seductive. This is your home. This is your home.

  He was close now. The dock seemed empty at once. It was just the two of them, close and barely touching. But it was one of the more intimate moments of her life. He was strong and solid; tender and understanding. It was just what she needed right now. But not
from him.

  Alex sensed it too and moved in closer to her in comfort. He looked into her eyes and what he saw stopped him cold. Fear. Alex's mind scrambled for reassurances but could find nothing better than platitudes.

  A familiar voice called out to them, giving him a reprieve.

  “Excuse me. I was not aware you needed any privacy, Alex. I would have waited for you at the house.”

  A tall, dark haired man stood a few feet away from the couple. His chocolate eyes were kind and his smile was genuine.

  “Anne Stafford, allow me to present Jackson Taylor. A dear friend of mine. We were in the Army together,” he finished the puzzle for her.

  “Jack, this is my fiance, Miss Stafford.”

  “Miss Stafford, it is a great pleasure,” Jackson leaned over her hand and kissed it as he quirked a brow at Alex.

  Alex sent him an “I'll tell you later” look and noted with discomfort that Jack was lingering over his intended's hand.

  “Yes, well, Jackson, let us go to the house,” Alex said brusquely.

  “Of course, Alex, we must see to our guest,” Jackson replied with a twinkle in his eye.

  With that, Jack offered Anne his arm and they swooped past Alex on the way off the pier.

  Alex was upset that Jack had taken Anne away from him so swiftly. He shrugged, knowing the way Jack was with people. He was honorable and would never truly flirt with Anne. In fact, Jack never got entangled with women. He was always too busy.

  Alex pushed his musings aside and jogged after his friend with a smile. He was finally home.

  *******

  The party made their way up the pathway Anne had spotted from the ship. She looked over the house and was immediately enchanted with it.

  The house itself was built in the Tidewater plantation style, with one or two exceptions; the porch wrapped around the first floor instead of the second floor. Alex later explained that Jackson's travels to the colonies had led him to discover these wonderful homes that allowed for the breeze to flow naturally through the house. He had also specially requested that a balcony be built off of his bedchamber so he could enjoy the view of the island.