by Alice Ward
He opened his mouth, then paused. A plethora of things flashed across his face, but none stayed long enough for me to pick up on them. “I didn’t want to go to college. I felt I needed to do something.”
He set his whiskey down on the table next to mine. “I didn’t see any art in your house. What’s up with that?”
I laughed. “We’re back to that conversation, huh? Well, I just moved in here last year, and I haven’t had a lot of time to think about decorating.”
His eyes sparkled. “I could curate the project if you like.”
I snorted. “No, thanks. They have professionals for that.”
Starlet stood and turned around in my lap, making a circle and then laid back down.
“You don’t trust me?” Seth asked.
“It’s hardly a matter of trust.”
He leaned closer, and the environment between us shifted. “You invited me into your house.”
“Was I wrong to do that?” I shot back.
The life in his eyes perked up a little bit. “What do you think?”
“I guess time will tell. But as far as decorating… that’s a big task to assign to someone, and I don’t know you.” I smiled to show him I was mostly joking — as well as flirting. “Sorry, not sorry.”
“All right, so you don’t know me… but I could change that.” The connotation in his words made my temperature climb.
I swallowed hard. “That would be nice.”
Seth moved in his seat, and I leaned forward slightly. Instead of coming over to kiss me, though, he patted Starlet and just rearranged himself in his chair.
I reached for my drink, trying to act like I’d been going for it the whole time and had not totally thought he was moving in for a kiss.
“Tell me something,” he said softly. “If you don’t mind… you’re, what? Twenty…”
“Five.”
“All right,” he nodded. “You’re a successful business woman, and, from what I’ve seen, someone who knows just what she wants. How did you become so confident?”
I automatically said, “My father. He taught me hard work.”
Seth studied me. “But it’s more than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“What you possess is more than that. I see you’re devoted to the idea of hard work, but lots of people are. That doesn’t get them to the kind of success you’ve already achieved. You have something else driving you as well. You know yourself.”
My eyelashes fluttered. “I certainly hope I do.”
“It’s refreshing.” His blue gaze was steady on mine.
I broke the eye contact, set my untouched drink down and stretched my cramped legs out. Starlet grunted in protest. “You don’t know many people like me, huh?”
“Maybe a few, but they’ve usually been through the ringer.”
“And you think I haven’t?”
He squinted his eyes at me. “Maybe everyone has in their own way.”
“I haven’t,” I admitted, taking myself by surprise with the sudden honesty. “Not really. Not unless you count a typical suburban upbringing as going through the ringer.”
“So you’re realistic too. You don’t see yourself as unduly treated.”
“No,” I said slowly, annoyed. He was working way too hard to figure me out. This wasn’t supposed to be some kind of date. I’d invited him to my house late at night for a reason. It was time to put my plan into action.
Lifting a sleeping Starlet, I set the dog in the chair next to me and then purposely leaned in Seth’s direction. He watched me with a blank expression on his face.
“Do you want to see the upstairs?”
For a second his face became unreadable. The moment filled with anticipation, like when I watched a balloon being pumped full of air. I held my breath, waiting for it to pop, each second stretching into a minute. This was my favorite moment, the one right before I knew I was going to kiss a man for the first time. I wanted his touch so badly, I was dying to have his lips against mine, but I also never wanted it to happen, because that meant the magical before moment would disappear and never come back.
Seth didn’t move. He gazed back at me. My eyelids grew heavier, my palms warm.
“I’m good down here,” he replied. “Maybe next time you can show me.”
The entire universe screeched to a stop, the sound of its abrupt halt a violent noise that should have had Starlet jumping up and unleashing a barking frenzy.
Hold… On…. What the fuck?
A ball of fire spun in my stomach, leaching hot shame out into my veins.
I had just been shot down.
And by a man who, according to Rory, had a reputation of “getting around?” It made no sense. Was there something wrong with me?
I cleared my throat and grabbed my whiskey. Screw my two-drink limit. There were some situations that absolutely called for getting tipsy, and this happened to be one of them. I was pretty sure everyone and their uncle would agree on that.
“Do you go swimming a lot?” Seth asked as if the last two minutes hadn’t occurred, and I wasn’t now sitting in front of him drinking like a fish suffering through a major depression.
I swallowed the lump in my throat so I could speak properly. “When I have time. Every once in a while, I’ll have my friends over on the weekend, and we’ll lay out back here.”
“The friends you were at the opening with?”
“Yes… those friends.”
I resisted saying more. The night had turned out to be nothing like I planned and I was tired of small talk. Not only were Seth and I nowhere close to even halfway naked, our conversation was exceptionally… decent. Pleasing, even. At least it would have been to anyone else. Anyone who was interested in the end result of dating.
It suddenly struck me as sad that a nice conversation shocked me so much. After so many bad dates and hot men with rocks for brains, I guess I’d just forgotten that sometimes I could talk to a guy and enjoy keeping things at just that. When I did run across a man who held my interest, the option to keep seeing him wasn’t even there. I simply didn’t have the time. Or the desire to get attached.
So, what to do with Seth? Tell him goodnight and kick him out?
Keep the convo going and hope he eventually warmed up to taking things to bed?
Bed didn’t seem plausible anymore. The extra sips of whiskey warmed my limbs and made my head fuzzy, and it had been too long since I’d just sat around and shot the shit with a hot man I could bear to talk to.
I sighed and changed my mind about small talk. “What do you do on the weekends?” I let my head fall back against the headrest.
“Sometimes I have training to go to, but usually I’m free. I like to head out of the city, go camping.”
“By yourself?”
“Usually, yeah.”
“That sounds nice,” I murmured and blinked heavily. The lines of Seth’s body began to blur.
“My buddies Dawson and Mike sometimes come with, if they’re not busy.”
A slight breeze tickled my arms, relaxing me further. “Tell me more.” My eyes closed and Starlet snuggled up against my thigh, her heat and the lounge chair seeming nearly as comfortable as my own bed. All I needed was a sleep mask.
“One of our favorite places to go is Shawnee National Forest. You ever been there?”
“No,” I breathed.
One more minute and I would open my eyes. I would tell Seth I was uncomfortable outside, invite him in for another drink…
“It’s beautiful there,” he explained. “It’s a bit of a drive from here. Six hours, maybe. But it’s worth it in every way. It’s so lush with trees, and the rock formations are gorgeous. There’s this great spot I always hike to. You have to go through a valley with all these boulders. The trail winds around the rocks and the whole time it’s like walking through a stone labyrinth.”
The scene he described filled my vision, replacing the blank blackness. I saw the forest in the fall, reds, golds, and browns covering the
trees and ground.
Seth kept going, but each word had less and less meaning. I was good and lost in his labyrinth, feeling my way through it with my palms pressed against the stones. He was there, next to me, his penetrating gaze drilling into mine. Out there in the middle of nowhere; there were no meetings to get to, no agendas or quotas to fill.
Only the crisp leaves and those deep blue eyes.
CHAPTER FIVE
I turned my face into the chair, trying to get away from the bright light.
The bright light?
Where was my sleep mask?
And my body pillow. Where was my body pillow?
Jerking, I sat up straight.
Morning light flooded the back yard, making the pool sparkle. Seth’s chair was empty, and Starlet had abandoned me.
“Shit,” I whispered, rubbing an aching spot in the back of my neck. How the heck had I managed to sleep the whole night in a lounge chair?
I swung my legs over the side, and the plaid blanket from the front hall closet fell to the concrete. Picking it up, I bundled it in my arms and stretched. A clanking came from inside of the house.
“I don’t know if you’re allowed to have this,” Seth said to someone.
I got up and crept toward the back door, which was cracked open, and peeked through the window. Seth was looking down at something on the floor. I pushed the door open the rest of the way and walked into the kitchen.
Starlet, her begging face on, gazed up at Seth, who held a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs.
“Hi,” I said.
His head jerked up. A smile stretched across his lips. “Hi.”
I smiled back.
And then realized I was staring. I cleared my throat and entered the kitchen. “I can’t believe I fell asleep out there. It’s not even comfortable.”
“Yeah,” he laughed. “You must have been tired.”
Or drunk.
“I made you breakfast,” he said.
“Oh… thanks.”
He placed the plate in his hands on the table in the breakfast nook. Two spots were already set.
“Wow… this is… cool.” I looked back at him. “I can’t say I’m used to this.”
“I didn’t know what you like to drink in the mornings. I saw you had orange juice, but also a lot of coffee.”
“Coffee,” I quickly said. “For sure.”
“Good.” He smiled, making my stomach flip. “I made a pot.”
I quickly turned away and went to the cabinet above the coffee pot. My stomach never flipped, and I definitely didn’t fall asleep talking. I wanted to blame it on the whiskey, but really, maybe alcohol wasn’t the real culprit.
What the hell is going on here?
Seth finished setting the table while I poured us both coffee and fed Starlet her breakfast. The dog crunched on her dry food as Seth and I took our seats.
“Damn,” I breathed, spooning fluffy eggs onto my plate. “I can already tell you’re a good cook.”
He nodded. “I try.”
I smirked over my coffee cup. “No, I’m sure you are. You don’t strike me as the humble type, so stop trying to act like you don’t have talent.”
“You’re not so humble either.”
Deja vu hit. The moment reminded me of the one at the bar, when he was suddenly cocky and unbearable. I could have pointed out that I wasn’t looking for a fight, but what was the point? He was right. So I just shrugged.
“Where did you sleep?” I asked, suddenly and horribly afraid he’d gone upstairs and gone through my closet or something.
“On the couch… with Starlet,” he added, those delicious looking lips curving into a half smile.
I looked over my shoulder at the dog. “Traitor.”
“She snores.”
“Yeah.” I grinned over my cup. “Sometimes I wear ear plugs.”
“You don’t just put her out?”
My cheeks grew warm. “No.”
“That’s sweet.”
I looked down at my plate to avoid his gaze. “I need a fork.” I stood to retrieve one but froze when I caught the time above the stove. “Shit.”
“What?”
“I’m going to be late. I have a client coming into the office in an hour.”
“Don’t you have time to eat?”
I gulped down half of my coffee. It burned my throat but screw it. I needed the caffeine. “No. I have to get dressed and drop Starlet off at daycare. Shit, shit, shit.”
I had to find those folders I’d put somewhere last night. Were they in the car? The office? I had to do my makeup.
Double shit. I probably had mascara smeared across my face. Not only had Seth and I not had sex, he’d seen me in the worst state possible.
I slammed the coffee cup back down.
“Daycare?” Seth asked. “Like, doggy daycare?”
“Yes,” I snapped, hurrying across the room. “Dogs are social. And I’m gone all day.”
“I was just asking. It’s cool…”
I didn’t listen to the rest of what he had to say, instead opted to book it from the room at a break neck speed.
I ran up the stairs, tearing my clothes off as I went. A quick glance in the bedroom mirror told me my makeup from yesterday wasn’t too smeared. And then I remembered. I’d put on waterproof everything, thinking I’d need to prevent eyeliner from smearing while rolling in the sheets.
Hell yeah. Seth had not seen me looking like the bride of Frankenstein, and now I wouldn’t have to do a full face of makeup. I would just touch up my eyes and lips at traffic lights.
I brushed my teeth, grabbed a floral patterned dress from a hanger, snatched up my heels from the day before, then pulled the dress on as I went back down the stairs.
Seth met me in the foyer, a paper towel in his hand. He silently extended it to me, a breakfast sandwich wrapped up in it.
“Wow. Thank you.”
I took the offering, feeling like I needed to do something to thank him, but not quite sure what. I wasn’t used to men doing a damn thing for me. My relationships ran fifty-fifty. I gave him something, he gave me something. In this instance, there seemed to be nothing to give back. Not when I needed to leave the house twenty minutes ago.
“Where’s Starlet’s leash?” Seth asked.
“In the kitchen.”
He went to retrieve it, and I grabbed my purse, slid the heels on my feet. We met on the front stoop, where I locked up the doors.
“I’m sorry,” I explained, scooping Starlet up and going down the steps to the drive. “I don’t mean to run like this. It’s just there’s a lot to do this week and this morning’s client is an important one.”
He waved my apology away. “Don’t worry about it. I had a nice time.” In front of him a blue Jeep waited. I climbed into my car and deposited Starlet in her seat.
“I’ll call you,” he said.
The promise made me pause for a second. “That would be nice.”
“All right.” He smiled. “Have a good day.”
I watched him turn and walk toward his Jeep in the side mirror. After a couple seconds, I shook myself from the reverie long enough to start my engine and tear out of the driveway.
CHAPTER SIX
Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Sometimes when I was overwhelmed, I sat at my desk and counted the windows of the building across the street. It worked as a meditative act, helping me focus.
Today it didn’t.
Today I felt…Giddy? Scared?
The strange emotions were much like the ones that had paralyzed me in the kitchen the night before, but now they were even stronger.
I couldn’t get Seth off my mind. All day long, in between the phone calls, the emails, the meetings, and the plannings, he was there.
I wasn’t a dumb-ass. And not as emotionless as I’d like to be. “Independent woman” and all aside, I had feelings. I could fall for a guy just as easily as the next girl.
I just tried to keep that shit compartmentalized. If it lo
oked like crushing was about to happen hard core, I backed up — sometimes out all the way. I either started seeing the guy less, or not at all.
I’d done a pretty good job — except with Whit. Luckily, after him, I hadn’t fallen too hard for anyone. Probably thanks to my careful watch. But then Seth had refused to go up to the bedroom.
Seth and I had hardly spent any time together, and I was already ga-ga over him.
My grip tightened around the pen in my hand. I clicked the button, retracting the tip over and over.
I could just never see him again. I could ignore his texts and calls. I’d done it before.
But that would drive me crazy. I would hate myself for letting him slip away.
Letting him slip away…
Just thinking like that was dangerous.
I could call Matt and screw him, see if that got Seth off my mind.
But I already knew it wouldn’t.
Maybe there was a better answer. Maybe I wasn’t as infatuated as I thought. I barely knew the guy. The first conversation we had turned me off completely. Perhaps we weren’t that compatible. Seth happened to be semi-decent, as well as hot. It could be the combination, one surprisingly hard to come by. It had me reading way too much into my feelings.
Maybe all I really did want was to bang him.
But once wouldn’t be enough. It could take a few times, or more, to get him out of my system. I could drag it out over the course of a few weeks.
Or I could make it a quick project. Get my need for him out and over in one short weekend.
The idea hit me like a bolt of lightning. I dug my heels into the carpet and pushed my chair down the length of my desk, where I hit the keyboard.
In less than five minutes I found the perfect place. A beautiful weekend retreat just three hours out of the city. The lodge sat on the edge of a small lake and boasted canoeing opportunities, fishing, full room service, and couples massages.
It was perfect. One weekend spent there, banging Seth, and I’d come home beyond full of him. I’d never want to see him again.
I just needed a plan to get him there.
We had only just met. Inviting him to go away with me for the weekend seemed a little extreme. I played with my earring and bit the inside of my cheek. I’d have to employ the use of a little white lie. And I couldn’t feel bad about it. White lies were a part of life, used all the time in business and personal affairs, to keep ourselves and other people happy.