by Alice Ward
I imagined their names stamped across their foreheads as Phil, Lou, and Justin were introduced, a trick I’d learned for remembering names years ago.
“And this is Blaire,” Seth said, introducing the young woman last.
She stood to shake my hand, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders as she did. Her big blue eyes gave her the look of an innocent version of a Barbie doll. It was hard to imagine her wielding a gun in the line of duty or crawling through mud in basic training. I knew better than anyone else, though, that many women were capable of far more than their appearances suggested.
“Good to meet you.” Blaire smiled, giving my hand a firm shake. Though her grip was strong, her voice was light and airy, further proving the complexity I’d already picked up on.
Phil unfolded his tall frame, grabbed two seats for Seth and me from a nearby table and we settled at the table.
“Blaire is visiting from Cyprus, just south of Turkey,” Seth explained.
I gazed at her in interest. “Really? That’s great.”
She nodded. “I’ve only lived there a few months. I love it, though. It’s really beautiful.” She reached for her drink, the giant diamond ring on her left hand throwing off a glint of light.
“And you’re back so soon?” I asked.
“I have family to see here and things to take care of. I’ll be traveling back and forth for quite a bit. To settle things here and get ready for my wedding next year.”
I was desperate to gather more information, but the curt way Blaire cut off her sentences then looked away said she wasn’t willing to give it.
“Who’s going to the game tomorrow?” Phil asked.
The conversation moved quickly from sports to Troy’s new apartment to a story about some old friend of theirs having just been left at the altar.
“It was awful,” said Lou, his mixed complexion darkening as he shook his shaved head.
Justin snorted. “She could have let him know a little sooner that she was gay, right?” He raised his beer. “Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen to Blaire.”
The others raised their drinks as well.
“Oh, can it!” Blaire snapped, though she was smiling.
“I’ve met the guy,” Seth said with a smirk. “And I don’t think he’s gay.”
Justin shook his head. “Just because he didn’t hit on you, Seth, doesn’t mean he’s not gay. You’re not everyone’s type.”
The group crowed with laughter.
We ordered another round of drinks, and the main conversation broke off into smaller ones. In the middle of telling Troy about how I went about breaking off from freelance work to start my own company, I caught Blaire watching me. The second I turned my face, she whipped hers away.
It happened again ten minutes later. I bent down to retrieve my phone from my purse, and when I straightened up, Blaire was flat out staring at me.
Did she want me to go over there and talk to her? She was already involved in a conversation with Seth and Troy. The giant ring on her finger caught my eye again. If I hadn’t felt such a good vibe coming from her, I would have thought she was sizing me up high-school-mean-girl-style. Maybe she was just protective. I didn’t open up to my friends’ boyfriends until they proved themselves worthy in some way or another. Likely Blaire was no different.
Throughout the next hour, she snuck glances my way. I ignored it, thinking that if she wanted to talk to me, she would.
When Seth caught my eyes, I waggled my eyebrows at him. He smirked, inclining his head toward the door. I knew what that meant, so nodded. Yes, I’m ready to go.
We gave goodbyes all around, and Blaire stood and hugged Seth tight. I watched their embrace stretch on, and a new theory struck me. Maybe Blaire and Seth had been an item at one time, or at least had some kind of thing. That would explain why she looked at me like I was a museum display up for her critique.
Was she jealous? Judging by the size of the rock on her finger, she had her own hands full back in Cyprus.
But that didn’t mean she didn’t still harbor feelings for Seth.
Seth called a taxi and then took my hand, leading me to the elevator and back onto the street. The sidewalk spun slightly, thanks to an exhausting week at work and the bottle of champagne on the rooftop.
“Does she not like me?” I asked before I could stop myself.
Seth stopped walking to stare at me. “Who?”
“Blaire.”
His face stayed frozen. “I’m sure she does.”
I let those words sit while I tested them for weight and authenticity. “All right,” I finally said. “I was just wondering. She seemed to be staring at me a lot.”
He shook his head. “She’s really nice, though. That’s just Blaire.”
His answer wasn’t much of an explanation, but I ended it there. I had never been a jealous woman, and I wasn’t about to become one. The most irritating thing, more annoying than Blaire’s staring, was that Seth now seemed to be as mum about his friends as he was his family. Was he going to be that way about everything and everyone in his life?
The taxi arrived, and we climbed in, Seth putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. I let my head drop down against his chest, not from fatigue, but from the desire to be as close to him as possible. For a Friday night, it wasn’t anywhere close to late, but I was ready to get Seth somewhere alone, ready to do the things to him I’d dreamed of since Monday.
He walked two fingers across the top of my thigh, teasing me without being inappropriate. “I’m really falling for you.”
My breath caught, and I lost control for a second, not sure whether to inhale or exhale.
Fear.
Exhilaration.
His words brought up so many different emotions. The old me would have opened the taxi door, tucked and rolled out into the street if it meant escaping the trap of a relationship.
But that old me was pre-Seth.
So, who was I now?
Someone who’s falling in love.
I’d known it since Saturday night. But the shared moment made it more real. Our affection for each other was becoming something so strong it was nearly tangible, something I could almost hold in my hands.
Something I could rest in my heart.
I took his hand and tilted my face up toward his. “Good,” I breathed.
His face drifted so slowly toward mine its movement was barely perceptible. Anticipation throbbed through me. When his lips finally brushed mine, it was like a dam breaking.
Our bodies shook and our breaths caught as we shared the slowest kiss in the history of mankind and made the city spin around us.
When we got to Seth’s place, he squeezed my hand tighter, whisking me through the lobby and into his home. The door banged closed behind us, and we fell against the foyer wall. Seth’s hands went everywhere, pushing my dress open and off and touching me in each new place revealed. His tongue hungrily lapped at mine as he pressed my back against the wall. His hands found my panties and pulled them all the way down then lifted one of my legs. Tight against me, he unzipped his pants and pulled his dick out, quickly rolling on a condom. Its heat greeted me, teased me as I waited.
Seth plunged into me with a strength that made me groan. Again and again, he drove into me, sending me sliding up the wall with each thrust. I grabbed his hair in both hands and twisted, holding on tight. With one hand under my leg and the other curled into my back, he had me tightly contained.
I lost control, kissing his chin and jaw, sucking on his lips, putting my mouth every place I could reach and loving my ability to do it. With Seth, I could let go. He had a hold on things.
He had a hold on me.
Seth lifted my other thigh, my foot leaving the floor, and pushed me flat against the wall. With my legs suspended in the air, there was nowhere to go and nothing to do but accept what he gave me. Pleasure grew and popped in tiny spurts until finally I shook with the orgasm and Seth held me tighter throughout it until he foll
owed me in release. Groaning, he pulled away and gently lowered my legs to the floor. His sweaty forehead pressed against mine.
I closed my eyes as he did and we leaned against the wall, gasping for breath.
I’m really falling for you.
His words spun around me as I held him close and breathed his scent in. There were so many reactions I could have. I could be afraid. I could run for the hills. I could go find some other guy who would let me take control and call the shots like I was used to doing.
Or I could stay. I could dive headfirst and let go of the reins. I could trust. I could believe that, just maybe, Seth would be there to catch me if I fell.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Pulling my sleeping mask off, I rolled over in bed and grabbed my cell phone from its charger.
Finally. Saturday morning.
I hadn’t been able to see Seth all week. Between my ongoing project for Stafford Scientific, the new, smaller jobs coming in, and making sure everything was covered while one of the consultants took paternal leave, I was booked solid nearly every hour of the day. Even finding time to make it to the gym became difficult. I toyed with the idea of sending Stephanie out to get a folding stationary bike to keep in my office closet and use in snippets of spare time.
Seth and I texted throughout the week, sharing pictures and videos. His days seemed to revolve around a schedule that included working out and reading. The last one had initially come as a surprise, considering when we met he hadn’t exactly come across as an intellectual. When it came to literature, though, Seth had it down. He had a library in his place, each wall packed with bookshelves.
I felt bad about having such little free time, but I couldn’t be apologetic. I hadn’t made it to where I was in life because of empty stretches. I made big plans, and I worked, making sure each step I took had a purpose. There were still many more miles to go, and that meant working irregular hours until things smoothed out.
I couldn’t help but feel odd about the strong juxtaposition of my career and Seth’s, though. Until he got called to active duty, Seth had explained, he basically went to occasional training and waited around.
Active duty.
I didn’t like to think about that. I’d never been close to anyone in the military before, so didn’t know what it was like when they went away. My imagination told me it wasn’t exactly a picnic. Seth and I hadn’t talked about his one day being called to duty, but if and when he left, it could be for a long time. Maybe years.
The thought left a bitter taste on my tongue. I was proud of Seth for committing to such a worthy purpose, but the idea of his disappearing for months or years…
He’d only just entered my life. I’d only just decided to throw caution to the wind and let myself get attached. Him being shipped off would be nothing short of cruel irony.
So I just wouldn’t think about that. I needed to focus on life here and now. Which was big and new for me, but hey, there’s a first time for everything.
Starlet, sensing I’d woken, jumped up on the bed and licked my arm.
“In a minute,” I promised her. “I’ll let you out soon.”
I’d got in from the office at midnight and slept in till nine. Seth and I had plans to take Starlet to the park, though we hadn’t confirmed a time.
I sent him a quick text asking about estimated time then opened my Facebook app and scrolled through the news feed. About two dozen pictures of my mother’s vegetable garden populated the feed, each one granting a different angle of cherry tomatoes or ripe watermelons.
“Geez, Mom.” I laughed under my breath. “Get that shit under control.”
I liked one of the photos but ignored the rest, thinking maybe she’d get the message and at least cut the photo count in half next time.
A text from Seth popped up at the top of my screen. I’m going to have to cancel today, sorry. My dad unexpectedly came to town. I need to spend the weekend with him.
I stared at the message, my heart sinking into my gut. All week long I’d looked forward to spending time with Seth. Especially thanks to him saying he was falling for me. And now we were finally at the weekend, and he was basically bailing out.
Seth hadn’t shared anything about his dad other than the quick explanation of the falling out with Seth’s grandfather, so I didn’t know what their relationship was like. When my parents were in town, I spent all the time I could with them. I wanted to, plus it was the thing to do.
I was mostly just disappointed in myself. After Seth’s confession the week before, I stepped into the fray of romance like I never had. I said things to myself like “everything will work out” and “maybe I’m ready for something real,” things that Quinn Laurent would never, ever, ever say.
And now, faced with the prospect of another week away from Seth, my heart stung with pain.
It wasn’t his fault. And it wasn’t a big deal.
It was just weird to find myself in such a fragile position, a place where something as small as a canceled day together made me want to cry. I was back in junior high, feeling the sting of disappointment over not being picked to be hall monitor. I was literally a little kid again.
“Relax,” I told myself, typing out a response. Okay. Have fun with your dad. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy this last week. It doesn’t look like next week will be any different. Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night?
There. That was more like me, dealing with things in a practical manner. I climbed out of bed and stretched. My phone buzzed.
I’ll try to. We’ll see.
My nose wrinkled in distaste. Was Seth pushing me to the side?
No. His dad was in town. He was busy.
And I was a paranoid, love-struck buffoon.
One who needed to find something to do with her day. After pushing hard all week to get my work done so I could spend time with Seth, his text left a gaping hole in my Saturday.
As it turned out, I had more than enough activities to occupy my time. After catching up on work emails and the light housework that couldn’t wait till my cleaner came on Monday, I hit the gym. A long swim in the pool and dropping off some dresses at the dry cleaners made the day soar by.
Heather’s invitation to see the new dystopian teen film came right on time. I found her in the movie theater lobby at seven, her whole arm eagerly waving me over.
“Where’s hubby?” I asked, after managing to survive the journey through a sea of teenagers.
“Getting popcorn. Where’s your new boyfriend? I’m surprised you came without him. Rory told me…”
I laughed. “Yeah, I bet she did.”
“You don’t know what I was going to say!”
“I think I can guess.”
“She said you’re falling in love.” Heather’s eyes danced.
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I think I am.”
“You don’t have to sound so depressed about it.”
“It’s hard.”
Her nose wrinkled. “What do you mean?”
“Hey, what’s up?” Dan interrupted out of nowhere.
“Hi, Dan.” I shot Heather a don’t-share-what-we-were-talking-about look. “How are you?”
Heather’s husband shifted a huge tub of popcorn so he could dig in his pocket for tickets. “Pretty good.”
Dan was a nice guy, and he could possibly be in possession of some good advice when it came to men issues, but I didn’t like sharing my business with other people. Outside of my group of best friends, I pretty much kept things mum.
Then again, for all I knew Heather went home at the end of every day and told her partner everything she knew about me, London, and Rory.
We navigated our way into the packed theater and managed to score three seats next to each other right in the middle. The trailers came on, and I felt a little better. It had been months since I visited a movie theater, though going out to them was one of my favorite things to do in high school. It had been the reward I gave myself after finishing a week of schoolwork. Each
Sunday afternoon my sister and I would walk down to the old-timey movie theater five blocks from our house and see whatever film they had playing on their one screen.
A few minutes into the movie, right in the middle of a gigantic monologue by the main character, my phone beeped.
“Shit,” I hissed under my breath.
Sending an apologetic look toward Heather, I dove my hand into my purse to find the phone. My fingers skimmed over a lipstick tube, a few loose bobby pins, my sunglasses case… no phone.
I needed to seriously think about downsizing bags. Did I really need to carry a can of hairspray around anyway?
The phone beeped again. Someone behind me made a shushing noise.
“I’m trying,” I whispered loudly, desperately tearing my bag apart. The music swelled as the scene changed. Still no luck.
I stood, ducking low as I booked it for the exit. Out in the bright hallway. I finally found my phone slipped into one of the inner side pockets. After turning the volume to silent, I peeked to see who had texted. Maybe it was Seth, hitting me up to let me know his dad had left town early. A fantasy of meeting up after the movie filled my head.
But it wasn’t him. The text was from Rory. So, I just got to work, and Seth is sitting at the bar. Didn’t you say his dad was visiting?
I stared at the text. Yeah, his dad was visiting… so maybe they were meeting at Reparations, the sports bar Rory worked at a few nights a week.
Right?
Not having the patience to go through with a whole conversation in text, I hit the call button on the off chance that Rory could talk.
“Hey,” she answered.
“Hi. So… Seth’s there? Did you say hi?”
“No,” she said in a low voice. “I don’t think he recognizes me. He looks preoccupied. I’m in the storage room now getting cocktail sauce.”
“How could he not recognize you? He saw you at the gallery. And preoccupied? What do you mean? What is he doing? He’s alone?”
“Whoa, calm down there, cow girl. Rein it in. Are you all right?”