*****
Megan crawled in bed, but all she could do was toss and turn. She kept reliving the scene over and over in her mind. It was as if the lovemaking was still happening, because it was that vivid in her memory bank. She would close her eyes and he was there. She opened them and she was wide awake. She couldn't win! Work would be long and difficult tomorrow with no sleep.
Maybe a cup of hot tea would help, Megan decided. Hopefully, that would help her relax and eventually fall sleep, she prayed it would anyway.
She padded through the house barefoot and headed to the kitchen; she stopped dead in her tracks in the center of the living room. She could still smell him and she could feel him all around in her home. She could retrace every step they had made, only a short while earlier. This man was under her skin and digging in deeper and deeper, with every thought and touch. She wanted him more now than she ever thought possible. How could that be?
Maybe, she thought, if I gave it enough time it would wear off, like times past. It could be lust or infatuation she thought. But, she didn't really believe it and that was what scared her the most.
Oh my god, I am in love! It was true, Megan realized it right then, standing in her living room. This feeling, unlike anything in her existence, was love!
She couldn't let him know how she felt about him. Not just yet, she feared he could trample all over her heart and leave her to bleed out. She was not going to be the first in this, whatever it is, they had going on, to say those words.
If and when the day comes that he says those words to me, I will consider telling him how I really feel.
Until that day, she knew she needed to be strong and stay in charge of her life. She cannot lose control. She will not lose control. This, she decided, would be her daily mantra from then on.
Her life was good before Justin and if they didn't work out, it would be fine after him. It had to be, she had too much responsibility on her plate. Her kids, her clients. Oh the clients, Megan thought. They were bound to see the difference in her. They are some very sharp ladies. She had been doing their manicures and pedicures for far too long. She knew them and they know her, very well.
Megan decided it was time to go back to bed and pray for much needed sleep to come. Tomorrow she thought, I will sort through this a bit more and wrap my head around it, hopefully!
*****
Megan wasn't sure when she finally drifted off to sleep, but the alarm clock seemed to be right behind it. Here it was, time to get up already and she hoped she didn't look as bad as she felt. She still felt no regrets from the previous night and was basking in the memory of it all. She could not imagine, not being privileged enough to experience it again. Especially now that she knew how wonderful it could be.
Maybe a hot shower would revive and wake her and if that didn't work....three pots of coffee would. Though, it would seem her adrenaline decided to kick it faster than she thought and she was almost too hyper by the time she made it to work. Her appointment book was completely filled and lunch was not going to be an option. Peanut butter and crackers was usually her stand by quickie lunch, for such days like this. She was always starving by the end of the day. It was so unhealthy, she knew, but it was better than working an extra hour later in the day. It was always such a good feeling leaving that work chair, after sitting all day long.
By the time Megan had her third appointment finished, she had received a text from Justin. It was odd actually. It read: “Go to your car please."
Megan was confused. What? Why do I need to go to my car? Oh my goodness, he must be here at my work! Her heart flip flopped. No way, he wouldn't, would he?
She cleared her throat and told her next client "Excuse me just a minute please, I forgot something in my car."
She took off in a hurry since she couldn't leave her sitting there like a bump on a log for too long, not to mention, getting behind schedule. She walked out to the parking lot, expecting to see his cable van, but it wasn't there. What the heck? What is he up to? She made it to her car and she saw what Justin wanted her to see; on her windshield was a card and a single yellow rose. She opened the card with shaky hands all the while looking around, half expecting and fully hoping, for Justin to pop out from around the corner.
The writing on the card read: "Please, accept this rose as a symbol of our friendship and hopefully, much more, because every relationship should be built on a true friendship if it is meant to last."
Oh my! She had to go back inside to work after that? She knew her face was blood red from embarrassment, but not in a bad kind of way.
How am I going to explain this, she wondered? I cannot hide how I'm feeling!
Megan was on top of the world right then and she felt like shouting about it, but, unfortunately, she didn't have time to waste, so she bit her lip and walked back in the front door. Feeling a bit self-conscious and like every eye was on her, she made her way to her work area. She was not good at faking something amazing like what she had going on in her life.
She could hide a bad home life or an abusive ex, but this was different. This was a good thing and just maybe, she shouldn't hide it. Maybe it was time for her to be a different kind of person. She had changed after all, hadn't she? She was not that same little girl that married in haste so many times, nor was she desperate for a husband to support her and her children.
Her clients would notice Justin soon enough, especially if he made a habit of coming around. He was hard to miss and for many reasons, including, six foot three, dark hair, blue eyes and more piercings and tattoos, than five people usually have. Megan was almost chuckling to herself. This was such the opposite of any guy that she had ever dated. Must be true, that opposites do attract, as they say. They definitely had the attraction and much, much more.
Megan managed to finish her day, without too much hoopla and a few more texts from Justin. He made her laugh and smile. He made her feel new things, she had yet to feel in her thirty two years. She loved it and she knew without a doubt, she was in love with him. She could admit that to herself twenty times a day, but she didn't think she would ever get used to it.
As soon as the girls leave with their dad on Saturday, they were planning on getting together again and she could hardly contain her excitement. He said they were going to make it to dinner this time. Megan was almost disappointed at that, but not too much. It would be nice to see him in a neutral setting, see how he treated other people and the wait staff of course. That was very important, how he treated others. She knew how he was with animals and herself of course, so far, but this date would tell her and show her, so much more about his true character.
Chapter eight
Megan had less than twenty hours until she could see Justin again. She felt like that was nineteen and a half too many. The only reason she would be willing to forfeit a half hour, she knew she needed a shower and fresh clothes after playing with other people’s hands and feet all day long. She had no idea what she was going to do with herself until tomorrow. Time would surely drag by for her, she surmised. The fact that she couldn't think of nothing else but Justin, and his hands and his mouth and everything else about him, only made matters worse. She even dreamed about him.
Megan realized she could not walk through her house, sit in her car or do anything without him invading her every thought! She had it so bad for this bad boy and she liked it. She liked how he made her smile with his little messages throughout the day. She had no idea, until now, how much she had been missing out on for so long. Was this really how wonderful it could be? So sweet and kind and gentle. Where was he in her twenties, she wondered? She needed Justin then, but, she needed him now too. She just couldn't help but feel like it was all going to end, before it's even really gotten started. He was definitely too good to be true, and that was what worried her the most!
*****
She knew she could see another sleepless night ahead for her. This, she also knew, was going to age her if she wasn't careful. Thank goodness for adr
enaline and coffee! They are her best friends as of late. Speaking of friends, Megan thought, it probably would be a good idea to call Jess. She could let her know, minus a few details, about her 'date'. She dialed her number, filled with the excitement of what all she had to tell her.
"Hey girl!"
"Hey Meg, let me guess, he stood you up and you need a shoulder to cry on."
"NO he did not, geez Jess, why so negative? Besides, that's my job. “That made us both laugh.
"So tell me, was he a true gentleman or an animal?"
"He was a gentleman, of course! I, on the other hand, was an animal."
"What? I think you had better start explaining yourself, Jess said."
Oh how much should I tell her Megan wondered? Just enough, and no more!
"Well, I pulled one of your numbers, Jessica"
"What number would that be? And don't call me Jessica, you know I hate it!"
"I seduced him!"
Megan bit her lip and held her breath, waiting on her niece's reaction.
"Well say something, anything, you are too quiet. Spill it! What are you thinking, that I am crazy?"
“I'm completely shocked Megan! You, miss I'm so shy, seducing a man? Really? I need to think about that for a minute. I'm really not sure what to think! This is way out of character for you. Are you on drugs?"
Megan knew this was Jess's way of lightening the mood and easing the tension, but she was still a little worried about what she really thought.
"I am serious Jess, I did, I seduced him and I don't regret a single moment of it. He is by far, the most incredible lover I have ever been with. I even surprised my own self, if that makes you feel any better. "
"Well then Megan, I guess congrats and good for you is in order. Are you happy? That's all that matters, you do realize that? When are you seeing lover boy again?"
"I am very happy and we are getting together again tomorrow. We are going out to dinner. He is unlike any other guy I have met, Jess. I need you to promise me that when you meet him, you won’t be shocked."
"Megan, what the hell are you trying to tell me? Why would I be shocked? Is he an alien or something? Besides, you know me, I am not that easily shocked."
"He is different Jess, he is more of the biker dude type, as in tattooed and pierced. " Megan kind of expected her to blow a gasket or something, but she didn't.
"Hey, I say if it floats your boat, go for it!”
"Really? You don't think I have lost my mind? You know what? I don't care if I have. I know if and when, people meet him or see us together, they are going to be like Huh? What the hell? But it doesn't matter, he is amazing and a big pussy cat, underneath that bad boy exterior."
"Well, how you feel about him is all that matters and screw the rest of the family if they don't like it!"
"You're right Jess, screw them!"
That was all it took and both girls were laughing until they cried. Megan felt so much better now that she had told Jess everything, well, minus the mind blowing sex details. Some things were for her thoughts only.
They said goodnight and promised to hang out again soon. Jess reminded her of the beach trip that was right around the corner and how much fun they were going to have.
Megan realized it was already so close, but only after Jess said something about it. She couldn’t believe that she had almost forgotten about their beach trip. It was hard to believe it was coming up in a few short weeks. Megan, Jess and two of their friends, were all going to party it up. It was supposed to be a single girls’ getaway. How was she supposed to go five days without seeing Justin? She couldn’t back out, it's costing her a week’s pay, plus, Jess would kill her if she even hinted at it. That, Megan knew for sure! No she wouldn't back out. This was a much needed trip and she had been looking forward to it all summer. Megan also knew inviting Justin, was a big no go. The girls would lock her in the hotel room if she was to even try to pull that one.
*****
Megan woke up Saturday morning, and she set about her day, getting the house cleaned and the girls’ overnight bags ready. It was all busy work really, but that’s what she needed to keep herself occupied. She knew without looking, how much longer she had until it was time to see Justin. This, however, didn't stop her from checking the time every other minute. Maybe she was hoping, if she tried hard enough, she could will it to tick by a little faster. Wishful thinking on her part, she knew.
Saturday's in her house could be so chaotic at times. The kids were always excited and ready to spend the day with their dad. He usually over indulged them and that was always a sore subject. He was a typical couch dad that bought their love instead of spending outside quality time with them. It was really sad for my girls, since they loved the outdoors and they needed to burn off some of that wild energy they were always filled with.
She figured he was better than most dads, he did pay his child support on time and treat them well enough; as a husband, not so good. Maybe that's why he had never remarried. The fact that he was a mama's boy made it even worse. Megan thought it might be a good idea to look into Justin's relationship with his mom. She would hate for that to be the deal breaker, but if he is still attached to his mama's hip, forget it! She needed a man, not a boy. Although, if what she had experienced so far was a sign of more to come, he was definitely all man.
She knew she needed to tell him about the trip and soon. Megan wanted to see how he reacted to the idea of a bunch of single girls hitting the night clubs in Myrtle Beach. Although, she still needed to remind herself regularly that no one was her boss anymore. She didn't need to get permission from anyone, for anything. Those days were long over and thank goodness for that!
She needed to have and keep some boundaries, if she ended up in a serious relationship with Justin. It was hard, even though she loved the freedom, getting used to being her own person. Megan had always needed to answer to someone; her parents and then her husbands. She was now responsible for herself, no one else. She made her own choices and her own mistakes too. Of course, she usually made more mistakes than anything else. Four big ones were on the top of her list.
Megan was more interested in the present now and all things positive. She knew she couldn't undo her past, but she could steer her future in the right direction. Being someone’s equal, would be a good thing, Megan thought.
Chapter nine
Justin picked her up for dinner and they headed off towards the restaurant. They made small talk all the way there and their comfort level fell somewhere between best friends and a happily married couple. What a strange combination, Megan thought. Not to mention, her, married again? That was a bit scary. She shuddered at the thought and willed her mind elsewhere. She had never been so nervous before around the opposite sex. Megan couldn't help but wonder, what kind of spell did he have her under?
When they arrived at Olive Garden Justin ran around to her side of the car and opened her door. Okay she thought, a gentleman on his best behavior. I can go with it.
She really hoped he had no idea how green she was when it came to this kind of stuff. Megan must have found every rude man in my town, because they never opened her doors. They had never done much of anything, come to think of it. Wow, she really had been a naive girl all those years.
They were sat at a two person table in one of their smaller dining areas, where it was quieter. Megan was so grateful for that. The less witnesses there were when she looked stupid in front of this man, the better. They ordered drinks and decided on their meals; all the while, sparks were flying between them and she was sure, they were both on the same page this time. Neither could wait to get back to Megan’s place!
Dinner was actually nice, Megan thought, and she managed to keep her clothes clean in the process, luckily for her. It never failed, she always wore some remnant of the meal home with her when she went out to dinner.
Justin was so easy to be around. He could light up any room he was in, no matter where that may be. His smile and mischievous gri
n was all it took and she was mesmerized. She also noticed how other women looked at him too. She had to admit, it made her jealous! Justin seemed oblivious to all the looks he received. A few women were actually blatant with their flirting; the nerve!
This too, was all new for Megan. She had never been with anyone, where other women were fawning over them. Certainly not openly flirting with her partner! She would need to get used to that, if she was going to be with this man that was for sure.
*****
They made it back to Megan’s place and quietly walked through the front door. She knew what was on her mind and from the tender touches the entire ride home, Justin was thinking the same thing.
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