Tall Dark & Different

by Kimberly Biller

  Megan knew she really needed to do some soul searching and get her heart and head synchronized. Justin was too special to let him slip away.

  He couldn't stop grinning, since he officially asked Megan to marry him. He was the happiest he had ever been. Who knew, he surmised, that a thirty four year old man, could find happiness and true love after all his mistakes and baggage he had saddled himself with? This has got to be my finest hour, he thought. What better a time than now, to ask for her hand in marriage? My entire family being with me to celebrate and see how happy I was after such a rough start. He couldn't stop thinking about Megan and their future. His dad and mom had even pulled him off to the side and told him how wonderful it was and how proud they were of him. It was a good feeling, he realized, when everything in your life was where it should be. He could only imagine, how much better it could get with every passing day. The day they finally exchanged their vows, would just be his icing on the cake, he thought.

  Chapter eleven

  It was a new year and a new beginning for Megan and Justin. Their lives were intertwined and had taken root like a hundred year old tree. There was no going back for either one, even if they wanted to. It was a connection, unlike any other. Two worlds collided when they met and fell in love and their fate could not be altered. Their happiness was ingrained inside them and the comfort zone the lived in was like an old pair of faded jeans; no matter how many holes, the owner, refused to part with them. That was how they felt about each other and with one another, comfortable and the perfect fit.

  Megan was getting more comfortable with the living arrangement, but still could not bring herself to set the date for the wedding. Her fears were justified, after all, being a seasoned divorcee. Life with Justin was so much better than she had ever imagined and the fear of it changing, if she were to marry him, weighed on her heavily. Of course the realization, her independence, hung in the balance was also a stumbling block.

  So many people had commented about her relationship and inadvertently, filled her with fear: "He will change once he puts a wedding band on your finger."

  Another said, "Trust me, they always change, once they know they have you where they want you!"

  All the negative talk filled Megan's head. It terrified her enough she was willing for Justin and herself, to just live together indefinitely. Besides, she thought, what was wrong with that? Justin had not pressured her in any way and neither one was in any rush. It was best, she figured, when in doubt, wait it out.

  She truly had no doubt about her feelings or wanting to be with him forever; she just didn't trust herself or her decision making.

  Justin always made her heart leap and skip beats when he walked in the room. The feeling was intoxicating to the point, that she wasn't sure is she would ever be immune to his chemistry or his charm. The ladies she catered to from day to day, were also taken with him and his sweet smile.

  *****

  "Good morning, beautiful!" Justin’s voice, broke through her sleeping mind and she instantly rolled over and greeted him with a smile.

  "There's that smile I love so much. I have your coffee ready. I let you sleep in since it is Saturday. There is no need for you to be up too early."

  Megan wiped the sleep from her eyes and sat up in bed; she was past ready for a hot mug of Justin's coffee. She reached out for him and he bent down and kissed her sweetly. "What are the girls doing, Justin?"

  "No need for you to worry about the girls, babe, they are eating breakfast and then I have a movie for them to watch. You just relax and enjoy your coffee. I'll be in the next room if you need anything. I love you."

  This was a routine Megan enjoyed every Saturday. She would never tire of it. Selfishly, Sundays were even better; they had the whole day alone. She loved her girls, but quiet time with Justin was priceless since they rarely had very much of that. He never complained about it, only enjoyed life with them all, as if they were his all along. She knew she was the luckiest woman alive. How many women could say they had what she did?

  Not only was he playing the role of father to her girls, he helped with all the mundane chores around the house, even laundry. Yes, Justin is a real keeper. She still had to pinch herself daily. She would never take him for granted.

  As with every Saturday, Justin popped in the bedroom once again, to see if Megan needed more coffee or anything for that matter. He was so thoughtful and went beyond the call of duty!

  "Baby, you let your coffee get cold, I'll warm it up for you." Megan responded the same as always: "Justin, you don't have to do that. I can get up and get it,"

  "You just sit there and relax Megan, it's your day off let me take care of you."

  "It's your day off too." She told him.

  This was always the banter between them and it never seemed to get tiresome for either one. Megan loved the attention and Justin loved lavishing it upon her. That is why they worked together so well. The giver and receiver both, loved doing and being done for. Megan was also doting on Justin quite often. It would seem to an outsider that it was almost like a contest between the two. Who could be the sweetest to the other? Maybe that was the secret to a successful marriage or relationship.

  Could she really do it again, for the fifth time, Megan wondered? She reminded herself that it was so good just the way it was. She was going to keep it simple, she thought. That is her, a simple girl with a simple life and she love it. Even if she did have a complex past that was long over and done with, thankfully so. Megan knew, there was no way she could still be in that world. It was funny, she thought, how one day you are miserable and the next you find yourself in pure bliss.

  *****

  Date night would be starting very soon. The girls would be leaving with their dad and Justin and Megan would be sharing a wonderful evening together all alone. Megan was always looking forward to their alone time. Quiet evenings and tender touches, was as wonderful as life could get. It was in these moments that Megan knew her life would never be the same if Justin wasn't in it.

  When they settled in for the movie with popcorn in hand, Justin began a conversation that she had long been avoiding.

  "Megan, you know how much I love you, right?" I just nodded my response. "I know marriage scares you, but are you any closer to picking the date when we can say I do?"

  Megan sucked in her breath and tried to hide her discomfort, but he sensed it.

  "I am not asking you this to pressure you. It is just that I am so excited and I can't wait until we are completely and fully, committed."

  Megan finally spoke, hoping to come across as sincere as she meant for it to be: "Justin, I love you. I want to spend my life with you and I will eventually give you a date, but I need just a little more time. Can you understand that? I am not holding back because of my feelings. I am making sure when we do say those two words to one another it will be for eternity."

  "I love you Megan and believe it or not, I do understand your hesitation, but please, don't think I am pressuring you either. I want you to be my wife more than anything I have ever wanted and I am willing to wait until you are ready. All I ask is the sooner the better and that's only because I won't and need you to see my commitment to you is genuine. What I feel for you is stronger than I have ever felt for anyone! "

  Megan just nodded, she did understand, more than he realized. What he didn't understand was her doubts were not about him or his true commitment. It was something she still needed to fix within herself that was holding her back.

  They sat cuddled together for the next two hours enjoying the movie and each-others company. It was an easy place to be in, when she was in his arms. It was a feeling more than comfort and safety, it was a feeling of completeness.

  Chapter twelve

  Marriage, for the time being, was not discussed about anymore. Megan feared that Justin would pull away from her, because of her reluctance to marry still looming. He did not. He continued proving himself and his honorable intentions on a daily basis. It was obvious he
had trust and faith in her. She knew she needed to have that same trust and faith in her own self. She also knew there were things she could have done differently to make the marriages better than they were. Even in hindsight and with the knowledge that was not where she was meant to be, she still needed to own some of the blame. She was so immature in every marriage, but instead of maturing as time went along, she only regressed.

  *****

  Their love continued to only grow deeper for one another. The feeling of being a part of a real family was more than nice for Megan and both of her girls. All the elements were there and the joy they felt was apparent to everyone. She knew it was ridiculous to have the fear of marriage hovering over her, but she just couldn't shake it, not yet.

  Every day was good for them and they carried on with their jobs and the daily mundane routines of keeping the house going.

  They both loved going to work, especially, dealing with an array of different people all the time. Megan had her clients and all the joys of hearing about their families and seeing new pictures of grandchildren. They all adored her stories about Justin and his antics that kept them all laughing. When he would pop into the salon for quick visits, they all loved the attention he bestowed upon them, as well as herself.

  Justin always had them laughing so hard and sometimes it was difficult to work when he was around. The chemistry between them, still had that strong pull, just as much if not more so, than it always had. Megan’s clients would usually comment on how she lit up when he walked in the room. She was not even aware of it, all she knew was this man was hers and he loved her unconditionally. The feeling could be very overwhelming at times.

  Justin had such an easy camaraderie with everyone, his co-workers especially. They would have lunch together on many occasions and sometimes Megan was fortunate enough to join them. Of course they would get a kick out of teasing him relentlessly in front of her. He could take the teasing and give it right back! She loved seeing him happy and in his own element. He took such pride in his work and his ability to do the job right. This was just one more addition on her list, of all the reasons why she loved him so much.

  She also knew it would be crystal clear to her when it was time to marry Justin. All her fears would be gone, along with the dark cloud that had hung over her for so long. Megan knew, confidence in making a marriage work would be in the place of all of that. Only then would she be ready and she knew it would not be fair of her to give herself completely to Justin until she was whole.

  She didn't expect it to happen as soon as it did. She was caught off guard and completely unaware of her stupidity for all these months.

  *****

  She was working on a client one day, doing their manicure when they asked an interesting question: “Megan, when is Justin going to finally make an honest woman out of you?"

  She was actually taken aback; did people really think it was Justin holding out on the wedding and when it would finally take place? That bothered her. It wasn't his fault they were not wed yet. Why did people assume, it was his issue? She knew she couldn't allow that, she needed to speak up and be honest. She cleared her throat before she spoke:

  “Actually, it's not Justin that is holding up the wedding, it's me. I have had such a terrible history and it's my fear alone that keeps us from tying the knot. Justin would marry me tomorrow if I told him that's what I wanted. "

  There, It was said. The truth was out and that was when it hit her

  Why did she keep letting her past run her future? She was so blinded by the past and all the mistakes from the old Megan that she couldn’t see what was really there! She have been an idiot long enough and was going to change that as soon as possible.

  Megan was now a renewed soul. She was also a woman on a mission; she needed to get the ball rolling if she was going to have a wedding in the near future. First things first, she thought, surprise Justin with the news. She thought a candle-lit bath and a very romantic night was just the way to go. After the girls go to bed, she and Justin would be lounging in a hot steamy tub and if she was lucky, a hot and steamy lovemaking session would follow.

  It was so hard for Megan to contain her excitement throughout the day. A few of the ladies commented on it and she just kind of blew them off. They were not going to find out what she had up her sleeve before the love of her life had the chance to. The day was dragging by and Megan didn't think she could stand it much longer. Now that she knew what her plans were and the wedding date had been decided on. Her excitement was overflowing and gone were all her doubts. What was in there place now was only her regret that she couldn't understand sooner, what had been the right choice for her all along!

  Chapter thirteen

  Megan had everything planned, right down to even the smallest of details. She wanted this to be a night that Justin would never forget! He already suspected she was up to something, but he would never have guessed it in a million years.

  She played one of his old tricks on him; she made him close his eyes while she led him to where she wanted him. She stopped just shy of the tub that was filled with water and told him he could look now. You could see the steam rising. Candles lined the edges with just a hint of sandalwood in the air. Everything was perfect and Megan knew she was going to accomplish what she had set out to do.

  Justin finally spoke "What's this about? What are you up to Megan? "

  “You will find out soon enough, now let me help you out of these work clothes. I think we are both overdressed right now, but I want you naked and relaxing in that bath, five minutes ago already." They both laughed their most seductive laughs, but Justin did as he was asked.

  "I will be right back, she told him."

  Megan took off to their bedroom and prepared things they was she wanted; more candles and a very slinky, sexy piece of lingerie that she purchased for just this occasion. She looked around the room one last time and then she slipped out of her clothes. When she walked back to the bathroom, he was waiting patiently for her. He opened his arms and smiled that knowing smile, the one just for her and he said

  "Come and join me now, I want to wash every little spot on your body and then I am going to lick you dry."

  Megan was so turned on by him already, but when he made that comment, she was melting from the inside out. She knew he meant it when he said he would lick her dry; he had, many times before. The one thing she could honestly say, no one had ever been to the places on her body, or in it, like Justin had. No one else could make her feel so beautiful or so wanted, like the man she now knew without any doubt, was her forever.

  The night proceeded as Megan had intended. While Justin was taking his turn, getting his body washed, she decided to say the words out loud, until now had only been in her mind.

  "Justin, I want to let you know how much I love you and how special you are."

  "I already know Megan, you show me every day and your words have nothing to do with it. I see it when I look at you. That's what is so wonderful about your eyes, they tell me everything I need to know."

  "Yes, my eyes definitely give me away, but there is something else you need to know. I have decided I am more than ready to be your wife. In fact, I have a date lined up and I'm getting things rolling for our wedding. "

  She had barely spoken the first word of her last sentence, before he had her in a loving embrace, right there in the bath tub. Tears were streaming down his cheeks with joy. He could not get any words out from his sobbing.

  "Why are you crying? Did you change your mind about marrying me?” She couldn't help herself, she needed to hear him say it once more how he wanted her to be his wife.

  'Baby, I have wanted you to be my wife long before I ever proposed. You have made me so happy, hearing you say those words to me, I am the luckiest man on the planet. You have no idea how bad I want to scream for joy right now. I just wouldn't want to wake the girls, because I have plans for you when I get you out of this tub."

  Megan knew exactly what his "plans" consiste
d of and she couldn't wait to be lavished with his kisses, from head to toe.

  He stepped out of the tub and began drying off, all the while watching Megan’s every move. He told her to just stay right where she was and he would take care of her next. That sent a chill all through her body. Once Justin was dried to his satisfaction, he reached out for Megan’s hand and helped her from the tub. He wrapped the towel around her so she wouldn't catch a chill and he led her towards their bed.

  He towel dried her hair and hit a few other spots, but grew too excited to worry with it anymore. He eased her down on the bed and began his magic trick, the one with his tongue. Before he entered her, he had licked, sucked kissed and repeated, every inch of her body. Megan was near insanity and was begging him to be inside her already. He teased her that much more, he wanted her to beg for his manhood. It was the most erotic thing, as far as he was concerned; the power of building a woman's desire until she was begging for you to fill her with your throbbing dick.