A Girl Called London

by Clare Lydon

  “Thanks,” Tanya said. “I better go.”

  “It’s going to be fine — and just think of the happy dog you’ll have at the end of it.”

  “I hope so,” Tanya replied.

  She clicked off, then scrolled through to Alan’s number and hit the green button.

  This was Operation Delilah and there was no time to lose.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Tanya stepped out of the lift and into the block’s foyer: it was a steely morning outside that matched her mood. If she was picking up Delilah solo later, she needed coffee, but the phone call to her mum had made her late leaving her flat. Should she run to the station to make up a couple of minutes? Maybe.

  She was just about to race off when she looked up and nearly bowled into Sophie. Again.

  Luckily, Sophie stepped out of the way at the last moment, avoiding a head-on collision. “Whoa — where’s the fire?” she said, holding up both hands. She had a set of keys dangling from one finger, a rucksack on her back. Next to Sophie was Jess from the café — they seemed to know each other.

  “Hey Tanya, how are you?” Jess said, not waiting for an answer. “I gotta run, got a delivery coming — so you’ll be able to do a few shifts at the café to start off?” Jess said to Sophie.

  Sophie nodded. “Yeah, happy to help out till my dog walking takes off. I’ll call you.”

  “Great — see you soon!” Jess ran off, leaving Sophie and Tanya staring at each other.

  “I walk her dog, Spinach,” Sophie said, answering a question Tanya hadn’t verbalised. “She just dropped off the keys to their flat to pick her up later. Dog-walking perk: you get to be nosy.” Sophie grinned, but then cocked her head. “You don’t look happy. What’s up?”

  “I’m late for work and I’ve already had a terrible morning.” Tanya didn’t have time to stand around gassing, even though she could already feel a sense of calm descending now Sophie was here.

  “Why’s that?” Sophie asked, her stunning blue eyes full of genuine concern.

  So much so, it floored Tanya, making her slow down. She could be a couple of minutes late, the world wasn’t about to cave in.

  “I called my mum this morning to let her know I was coming to get Delilah — my gran’s dog? She told me she’d rather give her away.” Tanya pursed her lips. “Anyway, the upshot is I’m going to drive up to Sturby to get her, before my mother gets rid of her.”

  “That’s rough,” Sophie replied, frowning. “When are you going?”

  Tanya checked her watch. “I’m going to try to get off work early, so I’m hoping to leave around four.” She nodded towards the station. “So I really better get going.”

  Sophie pursed her lips before speaking. “If you need company, I’m happy to come along for the ride.”

  That made Tanya stop: she’d dearly love some company, but was she prepared to take Sophie with her, bring her into the lion’s den? More to the point, was she prepared to make the journey with Sophie, knowing she fancied her? If anything were to happen between them, she didn’t want it to have any connection to her home. London was where Tanya’s heart was, not at some random address 150 miles away.

  “I couldn’t put that on you,” Tanya said, shaking her head. There were so many reasons, but one of them was Sophie’s lips that she was looking at right now. They didn’t belong anywhere near Sturby.

  Sophie reached out a hand, laying it on Tanya’s arm.

  A quiver ran through her, and when she looked up, she knew Sophie had felt it, too.

  “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it,” Sophie said, not letting go. “This sounds like a big deal, and maybe you could use some backup. Plus, I’m good with dogs.”

  Tanya desperately wanted to say yes, but she liked to keep her family separate from all other parts of her life: she found it always worked out far better that way.

  But then she heard Alice in her head: “Stop trying to do everything yourself. Accept people’s help when it’s offered.” She was only just learning to do that with her friends. Was Sophie a friend now? Or was she shifting into something else, something more than that?

  “You’re very kind, but you’ve probably got dogs to walk. I don’t want to get in the way of that either.”

  Sophie shook her head. “Tomorrow morning I’m free. So long as we’re back here for 2pm, I’m at your disposal.” She paused, looking Tanya directly in the eye. “Just think about it. I’m offering and I think you’d like to say yes. So I’ll be ready in my flat at 4pm and if you change your mind, just knock on the door, okay?”

  Tanya nodded her head slowly. “Okay. And I’m planning to do the journey there and back today.”

  “Even better. Plus, I can help out driving, too. Think about it.”

  Tanya checked her watch again, then gave Sophie a curt nod. “I will.” She paused. “And thank you.”

  Sophie held Tanya’s gaze, her tongue licking her lips. “No problem,” she said, before turning and walking into their building.

  Tanya’s whole body flushed with warmth, the heat hurtling up her body and tickling her ears. She wasn’t sure what had just passed between them, but it was something.

  She checked her watch again. It was still the same time it had been ten seconds ago.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “So tell me again what’s going on.” Rachel was ladling cake mix into a tin, before tapping it gently on the side. Apparently, that removed the air bubbles and that was important.

  “I’m going to Sturby with Tanya to pick up her gran’s dog.”

  “Her dead gran?”

  Sophie winced: it was the truth, but Rachel’s phrasing was a little stark. “Yes, the dead one.”

  “Why are you going?”

  “Because she needs someone to go with her, and we’ve chatted lately. Her parents aren’t the most supportive, so I thought it’d be a nice thing to do.”

  “For the girl you’ve got a crush on.”

  “It’s not a crush. I like her as a person.”

  “Wow — way more serious than a crush.”

  “Shuddup.” Sophie paused. “By the way, did I tell you I got a part-time job through one of my dog walkers? She’s opening that café round the corner next week and you’re looking at her new part-time assistant.”

  “What about dog walking?”

  “I’m still doing that — I just thought I could do this as well, fit it in around the dog walking. A bit of variety might be nice.” Sophie stroked her chin. “And you know, she said she wanted someone with baking experience. Maybe you could make cakes for her, too.”

  “I have a full-time job, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

  “I know — but this could be some extra on the side income. Plus, she’s a lesbian, so it’s for the sisterhood.”

  “Well, if it’s for the sisterhood, how can I say no?” Rachel said, slotting her cakes in the oven. “So this is why you’re sitting like this on the sofa, then?”

  “Like what?” Sophie said, sitting up to her full passport height and smoothing down her hair.

  “Like that,” Rachel said, pointing. “You’re wearing your favourite jeans and you’ve got mascara on. I always know you’re interested when the mascara comes out. Plus, you’re sitting funny.”

  “I don’t want to crease my shirt before she gets here, I only just ironed it.”

  “I rest my case. What time’s she turning up?”

  “She might not at all: it was a loose arrangement.”

  Rachel frowned. “And what are you going to do if she doesn’t show?”

  “I’m going to slump on the sofa and not worry about creasing my shirt.”

  A knock on the front door interrupted their chat, and Sophie jumped up, her blood pulsing in her veins. From being relatively calm, she was suddenly all manner of flustered.

  “Are you going to answer that? I don’t think it’s for me,” Rachel said eventually.

  Sophie nodded, striding towards the front door with faux confidence. S
he’d hoped Tanya would show, but now it looked like she had, suddenly the thought of three hours in a car with her was fraught with danger.

  She liked Tanya, that much was clear, and she didn’t want to put her off before anything had even happened. Could she trust herself not to say anything idiotic during their journey? She guessed she’d just have to draw on all her 30 years of life experience to find out.

  Sophie opened the door and Tanya was stood there, a small black bag hanging from her shoulder. She was dressed in jeans, a blue sweatshirt and a pensive smile, and she dragged a hand through her chestnut hair before she spoke. Even though her movements were hesitant, Sophie’s heart wasn’t. It sprang to life when it saw Tanya, unfurling ‘Sophie Likes Tanya!’ banners across its front.

  Sophie tried to ignore her heart flutters, instead giving Tanya an encouraging smile.

  “Hi,” Tanya said, looking down, then back up. “I wondered if your offer still stood? I can promise you service station meals and free rein on my iPod if it does.” She paused. “So does it?”

  Sophie nodded. “Of course,” she said, her heart dancing a happy jig in her chest. “Give me two seconds to grab my bag and I’ll be right with you. You want to come in?”

  Tanya shook her head. “I have to go and get the car from its bay — I’ve just hired it for today. Shall I meet you outside in ten minutes?”

  Sophie nodded again. “Sure. See you then.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “So when did you develop such a big taste for Coldplay?” Sophie asked, scrolling through Tanya’s streaming playlists.

  “Coldplay are one of the most misunderstood bands of their generation,” Tanya said, glancing over at Sophie. “I didn’t pick you as a Coldplay hater.” She tutted. “Anything else I should know?”

  “I wear glasses,” Sophie said, pushing her black frames up her nose.

  “I guessed that one,” Tanya said with a grin. “And tell me, do you wear contact lenses, too?”

  Sophie shook her head: it wasn’t the first time she’d been asked that. “Sometimes,” she said. “Why?”

  Tanya didn’t look at her, just stared straight ahead. “No reason, just your eyes. They’re a startling colour.”

  Her words rolled through Sophie like a warm breeze and she tried hard to keep still in her seat, to act like that comment meant nothing. But it did: Tanya had noticed her eyes.

  Tanya had thought about her eyes.

  “It’s my natural colour, no tinted lenses,” Sophie said. “And I smoke, too — although I am trying to give up.”

  Tanya grimaced. “A smoker — how retro of you.”

  “I like to keep it real,” Sophie replied, still scrolling through Tanya’s playlists. She liked how easy they were chatting so far — it wasn’t forced at all, it was just natural. Being in Tanya’s rented white Peugeot felt right, like this was where she was destined to be at this moment in time.

  And Tanya had noticed her eyes.

  “But you didn’t answer my Coldplay question.”

  “Coldplay are like Marmite, so I’m not going to convince you. Choose something you like and I’ll put up with it — that was the deal.”

  “Shall we just put the radio on for now, let the music guide us?”

  “Sure,” Tanya said, laughing. “Let’s let the music gods decide.”

  Sophie pressed the tuning button until it fell on the latest Beyoncé track. Satisfied, she sat back as the countryside surrounding the M1 flew past them at speed. So far, despite it being rush hour, the traffic hadn’t been too bad. Tanya was convinced it was going to be terrible once they tried to join the M6, but both of them were enjoying the novelty of being in a car and on the road, so they weren’t too concerned. With Beyoncé singing to them, what could go wrong?

  “So, are your parents still together?” Sophie asked, licking her lips. So far, they’d talked about their respective careers and living in London, along with world politics and a shared love of One Direction. But the topic that was screaming to be chatted about hadn’t been brought up — until now.

  “They are,” Tanya replied, her shoulders hunching slightly.

  Sophie guessed there was a reason she didn’t often bring this subject up. “And do you get home much? I’m getting the feeling you don’t.”

  Tanya gripped the steering wheel that little bit tighter, her knuckles whitening, her face growing pensive.

  “I went up to visit my gran when she was around.” She paused. “Let’s just say, my parents and I had a difference of opinion. I told them I was a lesbian, and my mother told me I couldn’t possibly be. We still haven’t come to a conclusion we both agree on.”

  Sophie sucked air through her teeth. “That’s tough.”

  Tanya shrugged, checking her mirror before easing into the fast lane.

  “I live with it. My gran was the one shining light in my life, she never judged, she took it all in her stride. But now she’s gone.” Tanya shook her head. “And I’m getting her dog.” She paused. “There’s Alan, too. He’s my parents’ neighbour and he’s brilliant.” Tanya smiled for the first time in a while. “I love Alan — when I was little, I used to wish I could live with him, that he was my real dad.”

  “But your dad’s still alive?” Sophie asked.

  Tanya sighed. “He is, yes. He tries his best, but he’s no match for my mother.” Tanya paused. “Anyway, enough about me,” she said. “Tell me about your family, let’s get off my dismal tale.”

  Sophie winced, seeing red flashing lights ahead. “Looks like we might have a little time to chat,” she said, as Tanya sat up straighter, bringing the car to a stop at the back of the queue.

  “I hope it’s just roadworks and nothing more,” Tanya said. “I’ve spent my life driving up and down this stretch of road, and half of that has been stuck in traffic.”

  “Fingers crossed,” Sophie replied, stretching her seatbelt which was cutting into her shoulder. “Anyway, my family. My dad’s called Nick and he’s great. He’s a builder, a gentle giant. When I told him I was gay, he took it in his stride, and now he’s making lesbian friends at his local golf club.”

  Tanya’s face told Sophie she couldn’t quite believe what she’d just heard.

  “I know,” Sophie said, laughing. “He’s a modern man and a model dad — I love him to pieces.”

  “Wow, I’m envious,” Tanya said.

  Sophie grinned. “He’s pretty awesome. Which he needs to be, to make up for my mother, who’s a train wreck.”

  “Oh really? We both have mother issues?”

  Now it was Sophie’s turn to snort. “That’s one way to put it.” She’d tried hard to understand her mum over the years, to not let her behaviour affect her life, but it hadn’t been easy. “Let’s just say she was last seen living in Portugal, desperately trying to locate her maternal instinct.”

  “Perhaps your mum and mine missed that class at school.”

  “Maybe they did.”

  “So does she still live in Portugal?”

  Sophie nodded. “Yep — she left my dad a few years ago and now lives with her new Portuguese boyfriend, Rui. Sun, sea, sangria, no kids. All the time I was growing up, our mum seemed puzzled, like she couldn’t believe this was her life. I swear, that was her face every morning as Dad got our breakfast ready: it was like she was always saying, ‘Am I living someone else’s life? Is this mine? It’s not what I ordered — can I send it back?’.”

  “I’ve had that thought more than once,” Tanya replied.

  “I think everyone has — but it’s a bit more troubling when it involves your kids.”

  The car was silent for a moment as they both digested Sophie’s words — silent apart from the DJ on the radio. When he announced he was going to play a classic Abba track next, Sophie’s stomach fell. She hoped it wasn’t the track she still couldn’t listen to. No such luck. When the opening bars of Mamma Mia blasted their way into the car, nausea rose in her throat, just like always.

  She reached
out and changed the station as if it meant nothing at all. She knew she should have got over this by now, but there was something about this one aspect of her mum leaving that hadn’t shifted, no matter what she did.

  When the digital dial hit some old-school Fleetwood Mac, Sophie took her finger away.

  “You’re not a fan of Abba either? First Coldplay, now Abba?” Tanya said, smiling. “This friendship might have stalled before it’s even begun.”

  Sophie’s stomach knotted, her emotions tight inside her. However, she carried on speaking. It wasn’t her usual course when it came to her mum, but clearly Tanya had that effect on her, making her want to open up.

  Still, it wasn’t easy to articulate because Sophie never had before. Not to anyone. Not even her dad. She’d kept this particular wound for herself, nursing it all alone.

  Until now.

  “The day Mum left, it was a Friday,” Sophie began, looking down at her hands, a tremble passing through her. “We were meant to be going to see Mamma Mia in the West End the next day, but we never did.”

  Sophie shook her head. “I remember it so clearly, sitting on my bed and staring at the tickets. I’d just finished university, and I was stunned. I still can’t listen to Mamma Mia without being taken straight back to that day. Abba gives me the chills. How weird is that? I’m terrible going to weddings. I spend half the disco in a corner grinding my teeth.”

  Sophie glanced at Tanya, her heart thumping, her ears turning pink. She’d never said that aloud to herself before, never mind to anyone else. “I really wanted to go to the show, too. My brother’s the same.”

  Just thinking about it, Sophie could still taste the disappointment as fresh as if it were yesterday. Eight years had gone by, but her mum’s timing still stung. Couldn’t they have had just one more afternoon together as a proper family?

  Tanya shifted in her seat before replying. “I think you’re allowed to have an Abba aversion when you’ve got a good reason,” she said. “Although you’re missing out on some fabulous tracks.” Tanya paused, looking over at Sophie. “And are you still in contact?”