“My warriors and I will leave again tomorrow to search for your daughter,” Blue Thunder said. He searched her eyes as she openly gazed into his. “Would you like to join the search? Can you ride a horse? Are you well enough, and strong enough, to accompany us?”
He believed that a woman, even wounded, would go to the ends of the earth to save her child.
He knew this to be true about Shirleen, for she had done nothing but mourn her loss since her arrival at his village!
He knew deep love when he saw it, and he saw it in this woman for her child.
Shirleen could hardly believe that Blue Thunder was actually offering her the opportunity to ride with him, to help search for Megan.
She was not at all sure what to say. Although everything within her cried out to do as he suggested, she was afraid to say yes.
His world was vastly different from hers.
And there was the question of trust again.
Although everything inside her heart told her that this man was trustworthy to the very core of his being, he was still an Indian, and she had seen the atrocities other Indians had committed.
Filled with conflicting emotions, she lowered her head and did not respond to his question. She actually was too breathless to speak.
Trying to understand her stubbornness, her continued obvious distrust of him, Blue Thunder stared at her for a moment longer, then left quickly.
Shirleen realized now just what she had done by not speaking up right away. She should have agreed to his kind offer, even if it had seemed out of place for such a strong chief as he to include a woman, a tiny white woman at that, in his plans.
Thinking that she had surely insulted him, and thinking she had lost her chance to do as he had suggested, Shirleen threw herself down on the blankets beside the fire and cried.
Chapter Fourteen
There are loyal hearts,
There are spirits brave,
There are souls that are
Pure and true.
—Bridges
Shirleen looked quickly up and wiped her eyes with the back of a hand when she heard someone enter her tepee. She stared in disbelief when she saw who was there. It was Blue Thunder with a little girl who appeared about the same age as Megan. And like Megan, this little Indian girl was beautiful, her copper skin so soft-looking, so smooth.
The child did not seem to have any fear of this white stranger. She stood calmly beside Blue Thunder, holding a doll that seemed to be made from corn husks, with a tiny piece of what looked like fox fur wrapped and tied around it.
Oh, how sweet and precious the child looked in her tiny, beaded doeskin dress.
Her tiny feet were encased in knee-high moccasins that seemed from the same fabric as her dress.
Her long black hair hung loosely down her little back, held in place by a thin, beaded headband.
Her eyes were the blackest of black, and large. She stared back at Shirleen with a searching look, yet her expression was friendly enough.
Blue Thunder suddenly gave the little girl a gentle shove toward Shirleen. Shirleen slowly stood up, wondering why the child had been brought here.
The little girl stopped after taking one step. She stood there quietly, gazing up into Shirleen’s eyes, the doll still hanging in one hand at her side.
“I, too, have a daughter,” Blue Thunder said, stepping up beside the child. “I have brought her here to introduce you to her. She is called by the name Little Bee. Does she not seem to be the same age as your daughter? I believe the dress made for the white child would fit my daughter were she to put it on.”
Shirleen was stunned speechless that Blue Thunder had a daughter. No one had mentioned that fact to her, but why would they? They would think that his having a daughter should mean nothing to her, so why make mention of her?
But it did mean something to Shirleen.
It meant that although Blue Thunder had lost his wife, he still had someone he loved deeply.
A child.
Oh, yes, a child could mend many a broken heart.
If she had not had Megan, Shirleen would never have survived the life she’d known with Earl, a man who had beaten her just for the fun of it.
Yes, a child could make life worth living. If Shirleen could have her own daughter with her, things could be somewhat normal again.
Blue Thunder sank to his haunches facing his daughter. “Do you remember what we talked about before coming to this lodge?” he murmured, lovingly stroking his fingers through her long, thick hair.
Little Bee nodded anxiously as she looked into her father’s eyes.
“Then take the doll to the woman,” Blue Thunder softly urged. “Her name is Shirleen. Remember how I told you that she has a daughter?”
Little Bee nodded again, smiling.
“You told me that this doll will be for her little girl when she is found and brought to our village,” Little Bee said softly. “I have more than one doll. It is good to share with someone else.”
“That is right,” Blue Thunder said, patting Little Bee on her soft cheek. “The doll you give the lost child will make her happy again when she is found. When you get to know each other, you can play with your dolls together.”
Little Bee smiled widely as she stepped around her father and went to Shirleen.
Blue Thunder stood up and watched as his daughter held the doll out before her.
“Please take this and give it to your daughter after she is brought to our village,” Little Bee said. “It will be fun playing dolls with her.”
Deeply touched, Shirleen took the doll and held it to her bosom.
“Thank you,” she said. “It is a beautiful doll. You are sweet to part with it.”
“What is your daughter’s name?” Little Bee asked, searching Shirleen’s green eyes, mystified by their color.
Shirleen felt suddenly ashamed that it had taken her so long to make up her mind about Blue Thunder.
Now she knew that all he had done had been undertaken out of kindness.
Even more than that.
She had seen interest in his eyes. She believed that he was having feelings about her much like her own about him.
She felt as though she had finally found a man whose every thought and move showed a deep sense of caring, not only for his people, but also . . . for her!
She felt so ashamed that she had mistrusted him, but knew she must move past her embarrassment.
She felt as though she had been given a reprieve, a new beginning, a second chance, with Blue Thunder.
Shirleen cradled the tiny doll in her left arm, while with her right hand she gently touched Little Bee’s face. “My daughter’s name is Megan,” she said, her voice breaking at the very mention of her child. “She is four years old, and as beautiful and giving as you.” She swallowed hard. “You will be the best of friends.”
Blue Thunder felt keen relief wash through him. Finally, the barrier between himself and Shirleen had been broken, and all because of the sweetness of a small child.
Yes, children were the future, and his daughter’s generous behaviour today was proof of that!
Her innocence, her sincerity, were all that was needed to win Shirleen’s trust.
He stepped closer to Shirleen. Placing a hand on his daughter’s little shoulder, he smiled at Shirleen. “Can you not see how sincere I am in wanting to help you find your daughter?” he asked gently. “Tomorrow another search will be made for her. If you feel strong enough, you can go with me and my warriors.”
Before Shirleen had a chance to answer, a woman came into the tepee and carried Little Bee out with her.
“That is my aunt,” Blue Thunder said. “She is called Bright Sun. She is a widow. Since my wife’s death, my aunt cares for Little Bee. They have a strong bond between them. It is a good thing, this love my aunt gives my daughter. At first, when Little Bee realized that her mother would never hold or love her again, she cried for many sleeps. But once she got past the initial shock of loss and sadness, she
accepted my aunt as a substitute mother.”
“I’m so glad,” Shirleen said, having seen the love in his aunt’s eyes as she had swept Little Bee into her arms and carried her from the tepee. “The loss of a parent can be horrible, especially a mother.”
“You have not said anything about your husband,” Blue Thunder said, settling down on some of the rich pelts beside Shirleen as she seated herself near the fire.
Shirleen stiffened at first. The question made her uncomfortable, because she had hidden the ugliness of her husband’s treatment of her from everyone she knew.
But now?
Yes, she felt that it was time to tell someone about this horrible man, or tell at least enough to let Blue Thunder know that she no longer considered Earl as her husband.
She was beginning a new life without him, and she was not going to worry that she had not been given a legal divorce.
To her, Earl was no longer her husband, even if it was written on paper that he still was.
In her heart she was now totally free of this man.
She would never look back and wonder whether she had done the right thing by planning to take Megan from her father.
He was not a fit husband, or father!
“Yes, I have a husband, yet I no longer consider myself a wife,” Shirleen said. “If the Comanche renegades had not come, I would have fled the heartless, cruel man. As it is, the end result is the same. He . . . is . . . no longer a part of my life, nor my daughter Megan’s.”
When Blue Thunder saw that Shirleen had said all that she felt comfortable saying about her husband, he did not press the issue. She seemed uneasy and bitter at the very mention of the man, so he would not question her further about him now.
But in time he would know everything about her and the man she apparently loathed with every fiber of her being.
Now that he understood her circumstances, Blue Thunder was beginning to see the promise of many tomorrows with this woman. The more he learned about her, the more he cared for her.
No wonder she had evaded his questions and seemed uneasy in his presence. He knew now that her behavior was the result of how she had been treated by another man.
He could understand her hesitance to trust him. Her husband had apparently given her cause not to trust any man.
But Blue Thunder had finally broken down the barrier she had placed between them, and he was oh, so happy for it!
Yet . . . she was a woman who had fled her husband, and in the world of the Assiniboine, no woman left a husband once she had spoken vows with him. Loyalty ran deep among his people.
But neither were husbands cruel to their wives.
He wondered just how far the husband’s cruelty had gone. In time he would learn, for he wanted to know everything about Shirleen.
“You have not yet given me an answer about tomorrow,” he said, changing the subject, which seemed to have made Shirleen tense again. “Will you travel with me and my warriors as we set out again to search for your daughter? If you are with us, and we find a wandering child, you can identify her.”
“Oh, I do wish to go with you,” Shirleen quickly said. “I must admit to some continued pain in my head, but I am no longer as dizzy as I was. I believe I am well enough to ride my horse. Thank you for being so kind. You . . . are . . . truly generous.”
“I do hope to bring you and your child together again,” Blue Thunder said thickly. “No mother should be separated from her child. I hope to reunite you and your Megan.”
He gazed into her eyes. “But you must be certain you are able to ride a horse, for once you are on it and we are far from my village, it will take some time to return,” Blue Thunder said. “That journey back home could be grueling if you are in pain.”
“Blue Thunder, the true pain is in my heart because I miss my daughter so much. I am so worried about her,” Shirleen said, a sob catching in her throat. “I will suffer whatever pain I must, if it means I can help find her.”
“She will be found,” Blue Thunder said with a certainty that made Shirleen truly believe that soon she would be holding her daughter in her arms.
And if that were so, she would never let Megan out of her sight again.
Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough now for Shirleen!
Chapter Fifteen
Under the arch of life, I saw
Beauty enthroned, and
Tho her gaze struck awe,
I drew it in as simply as my breath.
—Rossetti
The morning sky was cloudy and Shirleen could feel moisture settling on her face as fog crept over the village while she brought her horse from the corral and readied it for travel.
When it was saddled, she looked from tepee to tepee, hoping to see one or more warriors leave their homes, prepared to accompany her and Blue Thunder on the search for her daughter.
But she was still the only one who had come outside. Clearly, she was the most anxious to begin the search for Megan.
Sighing, she clung to her horse’s reins and shifted her feet nervously on the ground as she waited for the warriors to say good-bye to their wives and children. Even Blue Thunder must be spending some last moments with his daughter.
As for her, she had hardly slept, she was so eager to begin the search.
She had lain in her bed of blankets and pelts the entire night, clutching Megan’s dress, as she impateitly awaited dawn’s arrival.
When the soft light of morning finally filtered through the smoke that wafted up from what was left of her fire, she hadn’t been able to get up fast enough to dress for the day’s journey.
After untangling her hair with a brush she’d found among the clothes in the travel bag Speckled Fawn had brought to her, Shirleen had quickly pulled on her clothes.
Wanting to keep her fire burning while she was gone, because both the days and evenings were cool now, she had placed several logs on what remained of her lodge fire. There was plenty of wood in the stack of logs that had been brought for her daily use.
Her thoughts were interrupted as first one and then another warrior came from their tepees and took horses from their personal corrals.
Her heart thumped wildly in her chest, for the moment had finally arrived when she would be riding alongside the handsome chief and his warriors.
As she mounted her horse, her leather skirt hiked up past her knees, revealing the leather boots that were also among the things Speckled Fawn had brought for her to choose from.
It seemed strange how fate had returned to her these physical reminders of her normal life.
The fog had finally lifted, and the wind was cool against her face as Shirleen saw Blue Thunder walking toward her. He was leading a beautiful white horse.
She felt a strange tingling rush through her veins when Blue Thunder stopped beside her and mounted his horse, then turned a soft smile her way.
“Are you ready?” he asked as his warriors banded together in one tight group, awaiting his orders to ride. “Are you truly strong enough to travel?”
It was at this very moment, after having mounted her own horse, that Shirleen realized she was in no shape to ride. The lump on her head throbbed, and she suddenly felt dizziness rush through her. But she couldn’t think of herself.
Her daughter’s life lay in the balance! Shirleen had to be strong enough to accompany these warriors to search for Megan.
“Yes, I am well enough to travel,” Shirleen murmured, trying hard not to show that she was dizzy. She held her reins tightly as she smiled over at Blue Thunder. “Please. Let’s go now. I hardly slept a wink last night, I was so eager for this moment to arrive.”
“A . . . wink?” Blue Thunder said, arching an eyebrow. “What is this . . . wink?”
His curiosity about the unknown term made Shirleen’s feelings for him deepen even more.
“It is a way to say that I had trouble sleeping,” she said, smiling softly at him.
“You had problems because you did not feel well?” Blue Thund
er asked, truly concerned about her welfare.
He noticed that she was weaving slightly as she sat in the saddle. He was quite certain that she was dizzy, even though she would not admit it.
And he understood why.
She wanted to be part of the search for her daughter.
The child meant the world to her, just as Little Bee did to Blue Thunder!
“No, that wasn’t the reason,” Shirleen said, telling the necessary white lie. “It was because of my anxiousness to go and search for my Megan. Each day I am away from her is one day too many.”
“We shall do what we can to find her,” Blue Thunder promised. “I understand the hurt in your heart. It would be the same way I would feel if my daughter were no longer safely with me.”
“Thank you for your understanding,” Shirleen murmured. She looked toward his aunt’s tepee and saw the woman holding Little Bee in her arms. Both were gazing at Blue Thunder, awaiting the moment when he would ride away.
Seeing Little Bee made Shirleen’s heart ache even more for her own daughter. She hoped that today that heartbreak would end.
Oh, if only God would make it so!
Her gaze shifted when she saw Speckled Fawn step out of her tepee.
Speckled Fawn waved at Shirleen, and it seemed to Shirleen that she was whispering “Good luck” to her.
Shirleen was now beginning to believe that the woman truly did want to be her friend. Needing one badly, she smiled and waved back at Speckled Fawn. Silently she mouthed “Thank you.”
She looked straight ahead again and held the reins tightly, her knees locked against the sides of her horse in the hope that it would keep her steady when dizziness claimed her again. Slowly they made their way out of the village.
As they rode on and on, each pounding of her horse’s hooves made Shirleen feel less able to keep up the pace. But determination was her company today.
It kept her going, no matter how dizzy she was at times.
Finally they reached their destination, the site of her former home, where her friends had died, and where their cabins and barns had been burned to the ground.
They didn’t go all the way to the scene of the massacre, but close enough for Shirleen to see the dead lying upon the ground.
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