She felt a bitter bile rise into her throat and had to fight off the urge to vomit as she turned her eyes quickly away from the gruesome scene.
She wanted to ask Blue Thunder to please see to her friends’ burials, but there was hardly anything left . . . to . . . bury. The roaming, hungry wild animals had had their way with the bodies.
Shirleen knew that she would have trouble even identifying anyone. Only their clothes gave a clue to each person’s identity, but otherwise, there was no way to know who was who.
Feeling suddenly so beaten at the thought that her daughter might be somewhere in the same sort of shape, Shirleen hung her head and cried.
Blue Thunder saw her despair.
He could even feel it inside his own heart.
He sidled his horse closer to hers. “I am sorry for what you see here today, and for what you are experiencing inside your heart,” he said, reaching over and gently touching her arm. “I believed the menfolk would have returned to bury these bodies. Otherwise I would not have brought you this close to where the massacre happened.”
“We had to come here in order for you to track my daughter,” Shirleen sobbed. “So please do not concern yourself over me. There is only one person now who must have our attention. Megan.”
“I have prayed to Wakonda, who created all things, that your daughter will be put in our path today,” Blue Thunder said. He eased his hand away from her. “If not today, tomorrow. I am as determined as you to see that you and your daughter are reunited.”
He looked slowly in all directions. “That is how it was meant to be,” he said. “Daughters and mothers should never be separated from one another.”
He gazed into her eyes again. “Unless it is death that causes such a separation, as it was for my daughter and her mother,” he said. “My Little Bee lost her mother due to the same insanity that has separated you from your Megan. The same sort of men, those who wish only to murder and steal, are responsible for your loss and mine.”
“I pray to God that I will be reunited with my daughter,” Shirleen said, her voice catching.
“We will begin the search now,” Blue Thunder said, reaching over and touching her cheek, letting his thumb caress her flesh.
Shirleen almost melted into her saddle at the feelings of rapture caused by Blue Thunder’s flesh touching her own. She was thrilled by the way he was caressing her so lovingly.
She understood now that his willingness to search for her daughter was as much for Shirleen’s sake as for Megan’s.
She knew that Blue Thunder felt something special for her.
She felt foolish now for those moments when she had had doubts about him, especially when she had actually run from him and vomited when her imagination had run so out of control!
“I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you for your kindness toward me,” Shirleen murmured as he took his hand away and took up his reins with both hands.
“No payment is needed,” Blue Thunder said. He looked at his warriors, who were waiting for his instructions, and who had been a witness to his feelings for Shirleen.
He knew that they had seen him gently touching and stroking the white woman’s face, and how softly he had spoken to her.
So be it, for there was no denying to anyone how he felt about Shirleen. Fortunately, now that she had let her guard down and was allowing herself to see things as they really were, she was beginning to care for him, too.
“My warriors, spread out in all directions and begin to search in this area, close to where Shirleen’s cabin once stood,” Blue Thunder instructed, looking from one man to the other. “There are many footprints, but all you will look for are small ones. The child is the same age as my Little Bee, so you should be able to judge the size of the tracks. Also, search everywhere a small child might hide. Look behind every bush, tree, boulder, and even search for a cave. If she was not captured, but instead wandered off, she might have gone anywhere; she may have hidden to wait until her mother came for her.”
That possibility brought more sobs from the depths of Shirleen’s throat, for she knew that her daughter could be at this very moment wondering where her mother was.
Today’s emphasis was to be on searching this area. If her daughter wasn’t found, then the hunt for the renegades’ hideout would continue tomorrow.
Shirleen rode alongside Blue Thunder, searching the woods as he looked closely everywhere that he thought a child might try to hide.
She remembered how, as a child, she had played hide and seek with friends in Boston. She knew the art of hiding well, because of those innocent games. She tried to imagine where her daughter might have gone to hide.
But even after hours of searching, no signs of Megan were found.
As the sun crept lower in the sky, Blue Thunder looked over at Shirleen and saw how bone-tired she was. Though the night would soon spread its dark cloak over the land, he decided it was best that they not take the long ride back to the village just yet.
She needed to rest, and then later, if she seemed strong enough, they would make the journey back to his home.
But if not, they would sleep beneath the stars.
He reached over and gently took her reins, stopping her steed as he brought his own to a halt. “It is time to return home, but I do not think it is in your best interest to accompany the others,” he said. “You need to rest, and then we will resume our journey once I see you are able.”
Shirleen was unutterably sad that they had not found Megan, and her body was one big ache. Feeling exhausted from riding so long, she nodded. “Yes, I think what you have decided is best,” she murmured. “I truly don’t think I could go much farther.”
“Then we will stay here and let my warriors go,” Blue Thunder said.
He rode away from her and went to explain their next course of action to his warriors.
Some gave him a strange sort of questioning look, while others nodded and accepted that whatever their chief decided was right for all concerned.
Blue Thunder watched them ride away, then returned to Shirleen, who was already out of her saddle and leaning against a tree, her eyes half closed.
Blue Thunder dismounted and went to her. “I will tether our steeds,” he said. “I see a place that will be good for us to make camp and rest.”
The realization that he had said they would make camp, which surely meant he was readying a campsite for a full night instead of only a little while, made Shirleen’s heart skip a beat.
She looked at him, studying his expression as he secured the horses, and hoped that her trust in him was warranted. She had never been alone with an Indian before, except for those moments when Blue Thunder had sat with her in her tepee.
But this was different.
They were completely alone.
And she knew that he had feelings for her. There was no hiding his feelings now. They were evident in the way he looked at her; the gentleness with which he treated her. Both attested to the fact that he had fallen in love with her. And she now knew she felt the same for him.
She just could not believe that a man such as he would force himself on any woman.
Being so tired, and knowing she had no other choice but to do as he asked tonight, she went willingly with him to make camp beside a meandering stream.
She was glad that the moon was out tonight in all its glory. The countryside was lit up almost as bright as day.
She sat down on blankets that Blue Thunder had spread out for her, then watched him prepare a fire.
When the flames were sending off soft light all around them and the smoke was spiraling into the sky, Blue Thunder came and knelt down before Shirleen.
“I will be away for a short time,” he said softly.
“Where are you going?” Shirleen asked, her eyes widening in fear.
“I am going to scare a couple of rabbits from their burrow,” he said. He smiled softly at her. “We will have a nice meal. Then we will rest beside the fire. When you are
ready to ride again, all you have to do is tell me.”
Again seeing how foolish she had been to doubt him for even one moment, Shirleen smiled and nodded. Then she stretched out on the blanket while he departed for his brief hunt.
He came back a short time later, carrying two skinned animals. Shirleen had not heard the sound of a gunshot, and she sat up and questioned him with her eyes.
“A knife makes a quiet, quick kill,” he said, already placing one of the animals on a spit that he prepared over the fire, and then securing the second one beside it.
Shirleen saw that this was a good time to go and wash the day’s dirt off her face and hands before they settled beside the fire to eat. She was looking forward to some nourishing meat.
Blue Thunder watched her go to the stream. He didn’t accompany her, for he felt that she needed privacy to attend to her needs.
When she momentarily slipped behind some bushes, he knew that she would relieve herself of one of her discomforts.
As she came from behind the bushes and looked his way, she was blushing so pink he could even see it beneath the light of the moon. He had not anticipated this timid side of her that she was revealing to him.
He smiled and nodded and watched as she knelt beside the stream and washed her face, and then dipped her hair into the water and washed it.
When she stood, with the moon glowing on her wet hair and face, it was hard for Blue Thunder to just sit there looking at her, when everything within him wanted to go and draw her into his arms and kiss her.
All of those thoughts were quickly erased when Shirleen suddenly screamed and grabbed at her head. As she collapsed to the ground, moaning and holding her face in her hands, Blue Thunder could not get to her quickly enough.
When he reached her, he swept her up into his arms and carried her to the blankets, where he gently laid her down.
He knelt beside her as she gazed up at him through tears.
“My head,” she sobbed, reaching for it. “A sudden, sharp, searing pain shot through the wound on my head.”
“Is it still hurting?” Blue Thunder asked as he swept her hair back from her face.
“It has subsided somewhat,” Shirleen said, her voice catching as she slowly sat up. “Thank you again for being so kind and caring.”
“Who would not be kind and caring toward you?” Blue Thunder said thickly as he gently wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.
Never in her life had Shirleen met a man as gentle as Blue Thunder.
Not even her papa had been this gentle.
Blue Thunder’s kindness, caring, and gentleness melted Shirleen’s heart.
She knew now that she was lost, heart and soul, to this man.
The color of his skin didn’t matter.
Yet there was still that question she had not yet asked him.
“Why did you have me guarded when you brought me to your village?” she blurted out.
“Why?” Blue Thunder repeated, reaching over and testing the doneness of the meat. It still had a ways to go before being ready to eat.
He drew his hand back and looked over at Shirleen, slowly smiling. “You thought that you were being held captive?” he asked, searching her eyes.
“How could I think otherwise?” she asked. “I had you guarded from others who might sneak into my village under the cover of darkness and try to steal you away,” Blue Thunder softly explained. “The guard was not there to prevent you from leaving, for you have never been a captive. You were brought to my village so my shaman could make you well, and for nothing else.”
“I am so glad to know that you never saw me as a captive,” Shirleen murmured. “I . . .”
When she started to say something but then fell silent, Blue Thunder’s curiosity was piqued. “What more do you want to say?” he asked, again searching her eyes and finding them so beautiful.
Even beneath the moonlight they shone so mystically green.
“I . . . I . . . shouldn’t,” Shirleen said, blushing.
She had came close to saying that she thought perhaps he had brought her to the village because he was enamored of her, just as she was of him.
But she knew this was not the time to reveal such a thing to him.
She wanted to be certain of his feelings first.
“Then don’t,” Blue Thunder said, his pulse racing. He had hoped she was about to reveal her feelings for him.
“It is time to eat,” Blue Thunder said quickly. “The meat is dripping its juices into the flames. I prefer them to be in my mouth, do you not, too?”
“Yes, I truly do,” Shirleen said, laughing softly. Strange how her head no longer ached, how her seat was no longer sore from long hours in the saddle.
She suddenly felt as though she might be floating above herself. She was now absolutely certain that she was in love with a man who also loved her.
And she would not let the fact that she was married mar the beautiful relationship that was developing between herself and this handsome, wonderful man.
In her eyes, she truly was no longer married to the cruel, heartless man she had grown to detest . . . even hate.
In the West, life could be abruptly snuffed out at any time, so she was going to take advantage of each and every moment that she had breath left in her lungs.
She blushed as Blue Thunder handed her a piece of hot meat.
“Be careful, it might burn your fingers,” Blue Thunder said, wanting to protect her from even such a tiny annoyance as that.
“I will,” she said, smiling softly at him. She was happy for the first time in so long, but her full happiness would not come until she held her daughter in her arms again!
When she took her first bite of the meat, she gave Blue Thunder a quick, puzzled look. “I have eaten rabbit often,” she said. “This tastes nothing like rabbit. It has the taste of . . . chicken.”
He chuckled. “I did not come across rabbits but instead sage hens,” he said. “That is why you taste sage hen, not rabbit.”
“Well, my word,” Shirleen said, laughing as she gazed down at the piece of meat held between her fingers. “I have heard of sage hens, but have never eaten one.”
“Do you prefer sage hens or rabbit?” he asked, pulling off a big bite of meat for himself.
“Sage hens,” she said. “It reminds me of the turkeys my mother cooked on Thanksgiving.”
“I will catch you a wild turkey one of these days,” Blue Thunder said, smiling as he enjoyed relaxed, inconsequential talk with this woman . . . a woman he now knew that he would love forever.
“I would enjoy that,” she murmured.
Thinking about a future that had Blue Thunder in it made her feel suddenly at peace with herself, except for one thing—not having Megan with her.
But she believed that this handsome chief would eventually find her daughter, for was there anything he could not do?
She smiled timidly at him as she took another bite of meat.
He returned the smile, awakening new feelings in Shirleen that she never knew existed!
Chapter Sixteen
Our lives would grow together
In sad or singing weather . . .
If love were what the rose is,
And I were like the leaf.
—Swinburne
The sound of people talking somewhere not far away awakened Shirleen with a start.
She leaned up on an elbow and found Blue Thunder sitting beside her where she lay on comfortable pelts beside a slow-burning lodge fire.
The voices she had heard came from outside the tepee, a tepee she suddenly realized was not the one where she had been staying.
And why had Blue Thunder been sitting beside her as she slept?
And . . . how had she gotten there?
The last thing she recalled was falling asleep beside the campfire where they had stopped to rest before returning to the Assiniboine village.
Whose tepee was this? she wondered.
As she looked slowly aroun
d her, she saw that the buffalo-hide walls had been painted with scenes of the exploits of the person who lived there. She also saw quite a cache of weapons stored at the back of the tepee.
“I am very confused,” Shirleen said as she sat up, realizing that she wore the clothes she had worn on her journey to search for Megan.
She gazed into Blue Thunder’s eyes as the blanket that had covered her fell away. “How did I get here?” she softly questioned. “The last I remember is becoming so sleepy I could not keep my eyes open.”
“You fell asleep,” Blue Thunder said, gently pushing a fallen lock of her hair back from her puzzled eyes. “I did not think it wise to spend the full night away from my home with the renegades about. They are always a threat, often roaming the darkness in search of horses to steal, so I rode back to my village with you.”
“But . . . if I was asleep . . .” Shirleen said softly. “Blue Thunder, I still don’t recall anything past sitting by the campfire. I surely would remember riding on my horse.”
“You did not ride on your steed,” Blue Thunder said, bringing even more confusion into Shirleen’s eyes. “I led your horse while you rode on mine with me.”
“But . . . why don’t I even remember that?” she asked, getting more confused by the minute. “What are you not telling me?”
“I carried you on my horse while you lay in my arms, asleep,” Blue Thunder said, smiling softly at her.
Utterly stunned by what he had just revealed, that she had been held in this wonderfully handsome warrior’s arms while she slept, Shirleen was rendered speechless.
Seeing that she was perplexed by what he had told her, Blue Thunder reached over and gently touched her cheek. “You are in my personal lodge,” he said. “As you can see, it is much larger and has more comforts than the one that was assigned to you. While you slept I brought your clothes from the other tepee, as well as those of your daughter.”
Shirleen found it hard to think while he held his hand on her cheek, his dark eyes gazing into hers.
He had to know just how mesmerized she was by him.
But the fact that she was now going to be staying in his lodge made her feel suddenly apprehensive.
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