Superstar Babes

by Narinder Dhami

  ‘So, what’s going on then?’ Geena repeated.

  I repeated my conversation with Dad, word for word.

  ‘Well, if Dad wasn’t at work, where was he then?’ Jazz demanded.

  I remembered what Baby had said. ‘Do you think maybe Dad has got a girlfriend?’ I asked hesitantly, much as I didn’t like to even say the words.

  ‘No,’ said Geena and Jazz together.

  ‘Why not?’ Kim asked.

  ‘Because—’ I couldn’t think of anything to say. Neither could Geena or Jazz.

  ‘He’s been on his own for a while now,’ Kim went on quietly. ‘People do get married again.’

  ‘Not Dad,’ said Jazz defiantly.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Well – because he’s Dad,’ Geena snapped.

  ‘And why would he keep it a secret?’ I glared at Kim, even though it wasn’t her fault at all.

  ‘I can think of lots of reasons,’ Kim said. ‘He might not want to upset you. Or maybe he wants to get to know her better before he introduces you. Or maybe he’s just interested in someone and hasn’t actually gone out with them yet. Or maybe—’

  ‘Maybe you’d better shut up,’ I said coldly. Kim’s reasonable take on this situation was worrying me. I didn’t feel reasonable about this at all. ‘Right, the next thing to do, obviously,’ I went on, glancing at Geena and Jazz, ‘is to find out what’s going on.’

  ‘It might be better to wait till we get out of here,’ said Kim. I ignored her until she pointed at the camera, and then I realized that I’d completely forgotten to keep my voice down during the conversation. So had Geena and Jazz.

  ‘All these secrets are beginning to get me down,’ Jazz grumbled. ‘And what’s going on with Auntie and Uncle Jai and the phantom honeymoon?’

  ‘We probably shouldn’t be discussing that,’ Kim began, glancing at the camera.

  ‘I don’t know, but I intend to find out,’ I replied, lowering my voice again and pretending Kim wasn’t there.

  ‘Is it any of your business?’ asked Kim.

  ‘I agree with Jazz,’ said Geena, also pretending that Kim was invisible. ‘All this is getting on my nerves.’

  Jazz eyeballed Geena intently. ‘Oh, and you’ve got no secrets at all, I suppose.’

  Which was more or less what I’d been going to say.

  ‘Me!’ Geena flushed to the very tips of her ears. ‘What have I got to do with this?’

  ‘Jazz and I are quite frustrated that we haven’t found out any more about your secret boyfriend—’ I began.

  ‘Don’t start that again!’ Geena whispered with a sideways glance at Dad and Auntie. Dad was still hovering in the kitchen, tidying the cupboards, and Auntie was too intent on her conversation/argument with Uncle Jai to notice anything. ‘There is no secret boyfriend!’

  ‘Former secret boyfriend then?’ Jazz enquired hopefully.

  Geena got up and stalked over to a corner of the room. We were running out of corners now, and only had one left if someone else had a hissy fit.

  ‘Was that really necessary?’ asked Kim primly.

  I didn’t bother to answer her. ‘Jazz, our standards are slipping,’ I said. ‘We’re no closer to finding out what Geena’s been up to than we were before.’

  ‘Goodness me, what busy little bees you are,’ Kim said with weighty sarcasm. ‘All these mysteries to solve!’

  ‘Kim, go and sit in the last remaining corner before I’m forced to silence you by whatever means possible,’ I advised.

  Kim pulled a face at me. ‘I’m the voice of your conscience, Amber,’ she said solemnly. ‘You know, like Jiminy Cricket in Pinocchio.’

  Jazz burst out laughing at this, and neither Kim nor I could help smiling. Kim does get on my nerves, but she’s always there for me. Bless her.

  Not that I was going to take the slightest notice of anything she said.

  The day crept on. At 11.30 I decided that I would only look at the clock every half-hour. When I judged that thirty minutes had dragged past, I glanced at it again. It was 11.39.

  Auntie and Uncle Jai were still deep in discussion, and hadn’t spoken a word to anyone else all morning. Everyone was dying to know what they were talking about but we just couldn’t ask. Baby had other ideas, though.

  ‘So, are you two going to Australia on honeymoon or aren’t you?’ Baby demanded at 11.42 precisely.

  ‘We haven’t decided yet,’ Auntie snapped.

  ‘It costs a lot of money to go to Australia,’ Rocky remarked with a meaningful look in Baby’s direction.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Baby asked coldly.

  ‘Exactly what I said,’ Rocky retorted.

  ‘You’re going on about that money again, aren’t you?’ Baby slapped him quite hard on the arm. ‘I’ve never had such a mean and selfish boyfriend!’

  ‘Oh, just pay him back, please,’ Jazz groaned.

  ‘What about your parents, Baby?’ I asked.

  ‘What!’ Baby whirled round and directed a scorching stare right at me. ‘What about my parents? What do you mean?’

  I was taken aback by her reaction. ‘I just meant that, if you’ve overspent your allowance, why don’t you ask them for the money to pay Rocky back when we get out of here?’

  ‘Oh.’ Baby subsided, looking sullen. ‘I see.’

  ‘That’s a great idea,’ Rocky said eagerly.

  ‘Oh, shut up!’ Baby snapped. She flounced off to the other side of the room, leaving Rocky glaring after her. This was very strange. It seemed like whatever secret Baby was hiding, it definitely involved Uncle Dave and Auntie Rita too . . .

  We spent the afternoon trying to guess Mr Hernandez’s first name. The other teachers called him ‘Ed’, which we discovered was short for Eduardo, his middle name. Mr Hernandez didn’t use his first name because, according to him, it was utterly vile and repulsive. So Jazz, in particular, was determined to find out exactly what it was. She started going through the alphabet, thinking up the most outlandish names possible, and had got up to G – Gustave, Godfrey, Granville – by the time we went to bed. Oh well, it passed the time a bit, I suppose.

  I thought about trying another escape attempt, but with the security cameras in the corridor, it didn’t seem worth it. Also it had occurred to me that I had no way of proving to Mr Gill that I’d got out, unless I gave myself up to Gareth. Scary. And I realized that there was no way George Botley was going to get in, not with CCTV everywhere and someone on guard outside the main doors. Mr Gill’s one thousand pounds was a lost cause.

  Besides, I had lots to think about before I went to sleep. Maybe Geena was a lost cause, but there was Baby’s extraordinary behaviour, for a start.

  Auntie and Uncle Jai’s on-off honeymoon.

  And the one that was worrying me the most.

  Dad . . .

  Wednesday. We were woken up the next morning at eight o’clock by Mr Grimwade bellowing out instructions once again. This time, at least, he allowed us to shower and have breakfast before our daily challenge.

  I was first into the common room. Dad was in the kitchen, making tea.

  He looked slightly sheepish, but pretended to be tremendously busy.

  ‘I thought it was Baby and Mr Hernandez’s turn to make breakfast,’ I said with an almighty yawn.

  Dad shrugged. ‘Well, I was up early, so . . .’

  Guilty conscience, maybe?

  ‘Dad, about what you said yesterday . . .’ I began. ‘Where were you really when you told us you were at work?’

  I didn’t mean to come right out with it, but I couldn’t help myself. I could not be fair and logical and reasonable if – and it was still a big if – Dad was starting to date again. The implications were just too huge for me, Geena and Jazz. Was that selfish? Yes. But, like I said, I couldn’t help it.

  Dad looked very uncomfortable. ‘Well, I—’ Suddenly his voice changed. ‘Morning, Kim! Tea’s just made.’

  ‘Oh, thanks,’ Kim yawned, wandering into th
e common room.

  Dad’s obvious relief was worrying. Grabbing the tray of tea, he almost ran back to the guys’ bedroom.

  ‘Blast,’ I said under my breath.

  ‘What’s going on?’ asked Kim. I swear that girl has been taking lessons in interfering from the master herself, Auntie.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Have you been hassling your dad?’ Kim said sternly, and nodded pointedly at the cameras.

  Oh dear.

  You know, I’d completely forgotten about the cameras and hadn’t even bothered to keep my voice down. Now, for the first time, I understood why people in those silly TV shows couldn’t control themselves. Because they just didn’t even remember the cameras were there. I hadn’t realized before just what iron self-control Molly Mahal had shown, never letting her mask slip, not even for a moment.

  ‘Oh, well,’ I muttered, ‘I don’t think anyone’s going to be that interested.’

  Anyway, maybe everyone in the school had forgotten about us by now. There might be hardly anyone watching the daily updates. Now that we’d been locked up for more than two days, it was quite difficult to remember what all the excitement had been about . . .

  ‘You’ve got to stop this, Amber.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Poking and prying,’ Kim replied promptly. ‘You’re annoying your family, and you do have to carry on living with them when you get out of here, you know.’

  ‘I know that.’ I shrugged. ‘It’s just that I can’t help it. It’s not like I’ve got anything else to do at the moment. And anyway . . .’ I lowered my voice. ‘I don’t suppose anyone outside has noticed anything, really.’

  How wrong could I be? After breakfast Mr Grimwade announced that Dad and Uncle Jai were to go to the end of the corridor, where the next challenge would be waiting for us. They hurried off, leaving us in a state of high excitement, and when they came back . . .

  ‘It’s a karaoke machine!’ Mr Hernandez announced gleefully. ‘Great!’

  My heart dropped. Singing is not one of my strong points. Oh, well, maybe I’d be awarded points for comedy value . . .

  ‘There’s something else.’ Uncle Jai took a white envelope from the pocket of his jeans and opened it. ‘Song suggestions for the contestants,’ he read out. He cleared his throat. ‘Baby – Money, Money, Money by Abba.’

  ‘What!’ Baby screamed furiously. ‘That’s just not funny!’

  ‘Good choice,’ said Rocky with a smirk.

  ‘Mr and Mrs Arora . . .’ Uncle Jai’s voice faltered a bit. ‘Australia by the Manic Street Preachers . . .’

  ‘How utterly non-amusing,’ said Auntie frostily.

  ‘Can I see?’ I asked, taking the list. Now, too late, I realized that the sixth-formers, at least, had been listening to what we were saying, and they were now using it to spice up the action . . .

  ‘Don’t tell me what mine is,’ Geena muttered.

  I scanned the paper. ‘Yours is Once I Had a Secret Love from the musical Calamity Jane.’

  Geena turned quite pale. ‘That’s not true,’ she said, glancing at Auntie and Dad.

  ‘I hope not,’ Dad replied sternly.

  ‘And Dad’s is Crazy in Love by Beyoncé.’

  ‘Ah.’ Dad looked supremely uncomfortable.

  ‘Look at yours, Amber.’ Kim pointed at the list over my shoulder. ‘Do You Want to Know a Secret? by the Beatles.’

  Geena, Dad, Auntie, Uncle Jai and Baby all turned to glare at me at the exact same moment.

  ‘Mine is I Predict a Riot by the Kaiser Chiefs,’ Kim went on. ‘And I think that’s a pretty good choice, actually.’

  Not surprisingly, none of us except Kim chose the songs that had been suggested. Oh, and Mr Hernandez, whose performance of the sixties classic, Wild Thing, complete with Austin Powers-type dancing, must have won him a few more votes.

  I was almost afraid to say anything to anyone that afternoon. And no one else was talking much either. Jazz was still trying to guess Mr Hernandez’s first name and was up to M – Murdoch, Mingus, Marcellus – but that was all. Auntie and Uncle Jai were barely speaking; neither were Rocky and Baby. Dad looked permanently worried; so did Geena.

  There was such tension in the air, it was almost unbearable. How the people on TV could stand to be locked up for weeks on end, I just didn’t know. We only had two more days to go and I was ready to punch my way through a brick wall to get out of there.

  I had to keep reminding myself why we were doing this.

  To make money to donate to the school in order to get the library named after Mum . . .

  But what had seemed such a completely fab idea at the time was rapidly turning into something of an ordeal.

  Oh, and there was more to come.

  Thursday.

  Now I really was counting down the minutes until we got out of here at five the following day. I was secretly starting to wish I’d listened to Auntie and Kim before now. Not that I’d told them that, of course. But they were right. I wouldn’t be asking any more nosy questions. Whatever family secrets were waiting to be uncovered, they shouldn’t be exposed to everyone in the school.

  Well, that’s what I thought, anyway.

  Some people had other ideas.

  At eleven Rocky and Mr Hernandez were ordered to go to the corridor to collect the next challenge. They came in carrying a cardboard box covered in red foil. It had gold cut-out letters on the side which read TRUTH OR DARE?

  I instantly felt a bit anxious as Mr Hernandez opened the envelope. What was this all about?

  ‘Sit in a circle,’ Mr Hernandez read out. ‘Everyone must draw a slip of paper in turn until the box is empty. The paper will say “Truth” or “Dare”. The person sitting on their left must then either set a dare or ask a question. The question must be answered truthfully.’

  ‘This sounds like a ridiculous game,’ Auntie commented tartly as we gathered in a circle. ‘What is Mr Grimwade thinking?’

  ‘I’ll be having a few words with him when I get out,’ Uncle Jai muttered, looking highly annoyed.

  I didn’t say anything but I guessed that this had been thought up by the sixth-formers. And that it was something to do with Gareth Parker, although I did not know what.

  The first person to plunge her hand into the box was Baby.

  ‘Truth,’ she read out, and stared aggressively at Rocky, who was sitting on her left.

  ‘OK, why won’t you ask your parents for the money to pay me back?’ Rocky asked promptly.

  Baby’s face dropped. Suddenly, and without warning, she broke into noisy sobs.

  ‘Oh, my dear,’ said Auntie anxiously. ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘We haven’t got any money!’ Baby gulped.

  ‘Don’t be daft,’ I said. ‘You’re loaded . . .’

  ‘Not any more,’ sobbed Baby.

  We all stared at her in bemusement.

  ‘The business is doing really badly and Mum and Dad have gone to India to try and borrow some money from relatives,’ Baby wept. ‘But they told me they aren’t having any luck so far. We’re going to be p-p-poor, just like you!’

  We stared at her, transfixed. So that was what this had all been about. I guessed now that the conversation I’d overheard on the day of the slave duties was Baby talking to her parents. And that it had been her mum or dad who’d called her on the day of the contest.

  ‘So how are you going to pay me back then?’ Rocky demanded.

  ‘Rocky!’ Uncle Jai said sternly.

  ‘Sorry – I meant, bad luck, Babe.’ Looking a bit sheepish, Rocky patted Baby on the arm.

  ‘Well, you’ll be all right, won’t you, Baby?’ Jazz said kindly. ‘I mean, you’ve got enough designer clothes to last until you’re about seventy years old.’

  But Baby shook her head violently. ‘You don’t understand,’ she wailed. ‘We might have to move out of our house too.’

  Auntie got up, gave Baby a hug and handed her a tissue.

  ‘I think we should
stop this game right now,’ Dad said.

  ‘So do I,’ Uncle Jai agreed.

  ‘No, I want to get the chance to ask a question!’ Gulping, Baby dried her tears and thrust the box at Rocky. He got a ‘Dare’ and was challenged by Mr Hernandez to do a yoga pose called The Crow. This involved squatting and lifting your feet off the floor, supporting yourself on your hands. Rocky failed badly and ended up bumping his head on the floor, which he complained loudly about.

  The next sensation occurred when Auntie drew ‘Truth’. Jazz, who was on her left, immediately jumped straight in.

  ‘Are you and Uncle Jai going to Australia?’ she asked curiously.

  ‘We haven’t decided yet,’ Auntie said in a clipped voice. Uncle Jai looked very uncomfortable.

  I stared at them both, and suddenly something clicked.

  ‘You’re not – you’re not thinking of moving there, are you?’ I blurted out.

  Silence.

  ‘I think that’s two questions, Amber,’ said Mr Hernandez.

  ‘Of course they’re not moving,’ Jazz said robustly. ‘Why would they?’

  Auntie and Uncle Jai both stared down at their feet.

  ‘Well, are you?’ Geena asked in a supremely shocked voice. From the expression on Dad’s face, I could see that he hadn’t known anything about this either.

  Auntie and Uncle Jai glanced at each other. Auntie cleared her throat.

  ‘It’s just that – well, your uncle has been offered a job—’

  ‘A very good job,’ Uncle Jai cut in.

  ‘By a friend of his who lives in Sydney.’ Auntie still couldn’t look us in the eye.

  ‘Australia’s so far away!’ Jazz gasped. ‘Miles and miles and miles . . .’

  ‘Yes, Jasvinder,’ Auntie said edgily. ‘I know.’

  ‘But you can’t go,’ Jazz insisted.

  Auntie bit her lip but said nothing. Uncle Jai looked pretty wretched too. I guessed that the stress of trying to make this difficult decision was the reason why they’d been behaving a bit oddly for the last month or so.

  ‘We’d miss you both like mad,’ I added, and Geena nodded. All right, so it was emotional blackmail, but it was true.