Shattered

by Joan Johnston

  Shaw clearly didn’t want to leave her, but she gestured him away and said, “I need to get Chance dressed.”

  How could she tell this man that he’d been more of a father to her sons in the past week—playing with them spontaneously, as he had just done, listening to them at the supper table, helping them with their homework, reading to them every night—than J.D. had in the eight years he’d been their father.

  She’d often wished J.D. was more interested in doing things with the twins. When the boys had been younger, he’d considered them a bother. By the time they were old enough to amuse him, he’d been gone, first serving in Afghanistan, then away the year he’d supposedly been dead, and in South America the past six months.

  Her sons were starved for a male in their lives. No wonder Shaw had been so successful in winning them over. Jack had played with them, of course. But Shaw’s eyes focused intently on them every time they spoke. He touched them every chance he got, ruffling their hair or patting their backs in approval. And he indulged their whims and whiny behavior the way no one except a parent would.

  Kate knew Shaw was making up for lost time. Watching to see the minuscule changes he’d missed as they’d grown up. Touching to reassure himself that they were really here with him. And giving his sons all the time and attention from their father that they’d been deprived of when Shaw hadn’t known of their existence.

  The twins absorbed every bit of love he bestowed like sponges soaking up seawater. It was a heady time for them, and they were thriving under his approving gaze.

  During the short flight to Austin, the twins fell asleep on the couch on either side of Kate, who was having trouble staying awake herself. Bruce moved to the front of the plane to give Shaw and Kate privacy.

  “You should quit that job,” Shaw said. “You end every day exhausted.”

  “But invigorated,” Kate said.

  “That doesn’t make sense.”

  Kate shrugged. “It does to me.”

  Kate loved her new job at the Children’s Cancer Hospital, but over the past week she’d learned the subtle difference between working with veterans of battle and kids battling cancer.

  She’d always been amazed by the courage of the soldiers she’d worked with at BAMC. Wounded in war, she’d helped them learn how to manage with one or more prosthetic limbs. In almost every case, soldiers met the challenge with determination and tenacity.

  But they were merely adjusting to a new way of life. The kids with sarcoma she’d met during her first week at the Children’s Cancer Hospital weren’t sure how long that new way of life was going to last.

  Kate’s physical therapy patients were still fighting the sarcoma, even though they’d given up a limb to combat the disease. Nevertheless, they almost always had smiles on their faces.

  They believed they were going to get well. They believed they were going to have a bright future. It was hard not to catch their infectious enthusiasm, even though Kate knew that some of them wouldn’t survive.

  She came away humbled and inspired. And grateful that Lucky and Chance were so healthy.

  She brushed a dark curl away from Lucky’s forehead, then straightened Chance’s sleeve.

  “They’re so angelic when they’re sleeping,” Shaw said, “it’s hard to believe they can get into so much trouble when they’re awake.”

  Kate frowned. “What kind of trouble are you talking about?”

  Shaw made a face. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

  “What kind of trouble?” Kate insisted.

  “Just a little fracas at their new school in The Woodlands. Nothing serious.”

  “I’m listening,” Kate said.

  “Maybe Bruce should tell you. He was there.” Shaw called to the big man, who bent his massive shoulders and head to avoid bumping into the ceiling as he walked down the aisle. Shaw had arranged with the private school the boys attended for their bodyguard to park his car on school property during the day. Bruce kept an eye on entrances and exits to the school and monitored the boys’ activities anytime they were outside.

  “Tell Kate what happened at school today,” Shaw said.

  Bruce settled into one of the cushioned seats at the table across from her and said, “It wasn’t nothing, ma’am. I stopped it as soon as I saw what was going on.”

  Kate glanced at Shaw who said, “Go ahead and tell her, Bruce.”

  “After school today one of the kids made fun of the twins, ma’am. Said he thought he was seeing double. So your two boys, they looked at each other, and then one hit the bully on the left side of his face. And the other hit him on the right. And then the boy who hit first—”

  “That would be Lucky,” Shaw interjected with a grin.

  “He said, ‘Just so you know, there’s two of us.’ The kids around them laughed, which is when I hustled them out of there.”

  “Thank you, Bruce. I appreciate that.”

  “No problem, ma’am. Whoever taught ’em those left and right crosses did a good job.”

  Kate waited until Bruce had returned to his seat at the front of the plane before she spoke. “Take that grin off your face,” she said to Shaw. “You’re acting like what they did was a good thing.”

  “You can’t run from a bully,” Shaw said. “Only makes him meaner.”

  “And you would know this how? Don’t answer that.” She didn’t need him to answer, because she already suspected what he would say. He must have had a terrible time without a father, might even had been called a bastard. Children could be cruel. “Even so, you don’t have to settle everything with your fists.”

  “Who taught them how to fight?” Shaw asked. “Your husband.”

  “No.” J.D. couldn’t be bothered.

  “The Texas Ranger?”

  Kate heard the edge in Shaw’s voice and was glad she could temper it with her answer. “If you must know, It was their GeePa.”

  “Your father? Their grandfather?”

  “Their great-grandfather,” she said with pride. “Jackson Blackthorne, better known as Blackjack.”

  “An old man taught them that?”

  Kate laughed. “Don’t let Blackjack hear you call him old. He can’t rival you for dollars, but Jackson Blackthorne owns the biggest spread in Texas, a ranch the size of Vermont called Bitter Creek, with a thirty-thousand-square-foot house called The Castle, filled with original Tiffany and Chippendale and Hepplewhite and cowhide and horn and western art that will steal your breath away.

  “Blackjack and his second wife, Ren, raise some of the finest quarter horses and Santa Gertrudis cattle around. What’s more, Bitter Creek has been owned by Blackthornes since the Civil War.”

  “With a heritage like that, why isn’t your dad a rancher?” Shaw asked.

  “My dad was the eldest son, but his mother had different plans for him. Sort of like J.D.’s mother had other plans for him.” She shrugged. “Dad went into politics. He was the U.S. attorney general before he was accused of a murder he didn’t commit. He was cleared, but the shadows on his reputation ended his political aspirations. I know he likes being a federal judge.

  “My dad’s twin, my uncle Owen, became a Texas Ranger. He and his wife live in Fredericksburg with their twin sons.

  “The baby of the family, their sister Summer and her husband Billy Coburn, ended up running Bitter Creek.”

  “You’ve mentioned two sets of twins, and you have twins. I take it twins run in your family?”

  “There are lots of Blackthorne twins, going all the way back to the first Blackthorne in Texas. I’ve heard family stories that suggest he was the ninth or tenth Duke of Blackthorne, born a twin in England, and became just ‘Blackthorne’ when he ended up in Texas during the Civil War.”

  “Have you ever checked to see if he really was a twin? Or a duke? I’d want to know whether his twin inherited the dukedom if his brother stayed in Texas.”

  “I’ve always wondered,” she admitted with a laugh. “But not enough to find out. Forebea
rs can be fascinating, but what matters is who we are. And who we become.”

  “Do you really believe that?” Shaw asked.

  She nodded.

  “Then why do you keep bringing up Dante D’Amato.”

  “I suppose because I saw you coming out of a federal courthouse with him by your side. Your father didn’t look like part of your past, Shaw. He looked like part of your present.”

  “I haven’t had anything to do with my father since I found out he had my mother killed. It’s the FBI who keeps throwing me in the same pile of dung with him.”

  “If you know your father conspired to murder your mother, why haven’t you helped the government put him in jail?”

  His lip curled wryly. “My father doesn’t tend to leave a lot of witnesses.”

  “But you’ve been tarred by the media with the same brush. How can you stand to have people thinking the worst of you?”

  His lips quirked. “It isn’t what other people think of you that matters. It’s what you think of yourself.”

  Kate laughed at the way he’d turned her words around to express the same sentiment.

  She was still concerned about what her father was going to say—or do—when she showed up with Shaw at the hospital. As the twins’ father, Shaw had the right to be there. But her father wasn’t privy to the adversity that had caused her life to turn so many unexpected corners.

  Oh, God. She was going to have to tell her parents the truth. Her father was going to have a fit when he learned who’d really fathered the twins. Her mother wasn’t going to be too pleased, either.

  “We’re going to have to lie to my parents,” she said suddenly.

  “Why is that?”

  “They don’t know J.D. is alive. They don’t know Jack has moved back in with his wife. And they don’t know you’re the twins’ biological father.”

  Shaw shook his head in disbelief. “That’s a lot of secrets, Kate. Wouldn’t you rather tell them what’s going on?”

  “They have their plates full with Houston and Dallas and the new baby. I don’t want them worrying about me and the twins.”

  “And showing up with me isn’t going to worry them?”

  “Not if you tell them you love me.”

  He put a hand to his ear. “I don’t think I heard you right. What did you say?”

  “Look, we can tell my parents about the other suspect in that murder, right? And we can tell my parents that Jack went back to his wife. And we can tell my parents—”

  “The truth, Kate. That’s the best way to go. I’m not going to tell them I’m in love with you. Not when they still believe you’re in love with another man. If your parents are as astute as you say they are, one or the other of them is going to take a look at the twins and me in the same room and notice the physical resemblance. Why lie, when the truth will serve you better?”

  She hadn’t bothered her parents with all the changes that had made her life so complicated because she hadn’t wanted to burden them. But Shaw was wrong. They would never understand why she hadn’t turned to her rich and powerful—and loving—family for succor when things started going wrong.

  She would just have to convince them that she’d fallen in love with the mobster’s son.

  “Time to buckle up again, folks,” the pilot drawled. “We’ve arrived at our destination.”

  22

  “Isn’t he beautiful?” Kate said to Shaw. She was standing in her mother’s private hospital room, the afternoon sun shining through the window, holding her baby brother in her arms. “How are you feeling, Mom?”

  Her mother scooted up in her hospital bed and said, “I’d forgotten how much childbirth hurts. Fortunately, Austin decided to make his entrance quickly, if not painlessly.”

  “Next time use some anesthesia,” Kate said with a laugh.

  “There isn’t going to be a next time. I’ve had my quota. Your turn,” her mother replied.

  Kate glanced up at Shaw and felt the heat in her cheeks when she recognized the sudden flare of desire in his eyes. She quickly lowered her gaze to the baby in her arms. “I’ll think about it.”

  Her father had marched the four kids, who’d taken one excited look at the baby and then started roughhousing, down to the cafeteria. Shaw kept looking anxiously over his shoulder, waiting for his sons to return.

  “Why don’t you go down and join them?” Kate said. His mind was with them, even though his body was still in the room.

  “I think I will,” Shaw said. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Blackthorne.”

  “Libby, please,” Kate’s mother said.

  “Libby,” he said with a fleeting smile. “Congratulations again on the birth of your son. I think I’ll go catch up with your husband and the boys. And Dallas. She’s a pistol.”

  “Yes, she is,” Kate’s mother agreed.

  Once he was gone, Libby said, “What are you doing here with Wyatt Shaw?”

  “I love him?” Kate realized that making it a question wasn’t exactly going to convince her mother she meant it. She took a deep breath and plunged. “He’s the twins’ biological father.”

  Her mother gasped. “I noticed the resemblance, but I thought I must be imagining it. I don’t know what your father’s going to think when he finds out.”

  “I can imagine,” Kate said. “Which is why I haven’t said anything before now.”

  “I presume there’s an explanation for how that happened. I didn’t even know you knew Wyatt Shaw nine years ago.”

  Kate sat on the foot of her mother’s bed and watched as Austin closed his tiny hand around her little finger, gripping it tightly. “Shaw was a stranger I picked up in a bar.”

  Her mother gave Kate the look of disapproval that had cowed her ever since she was six.

  “It’s a long, sordid story, Mom. I’m not proud of what happened, but I had my reasons.”

  “J.D. provoked you, of course.”

  Kate nodded.

  “I never liked the son of a bitch.”

  The comment startled a laugh out of Kate. “Why didn’t you say something to talk me out of marrying him?”

  “Whatever your father or I said would only have made you cling to J.D. more tightly. You tend to be stubborn when you want something.”

  Kate met her mother’s sympathetic gaze and said, “I caught him in bed with another woman.”

  “I might have suspected as much. How did Wyatt Shaw get in the picture?”

  Kate shrugged. “I chose him at random, believe it or not.”

  “He’s very handsome.”

  “And surprisingly kind.”

  “That’s a strange thing to say about a mob boss’s son.”

  “Why does everyone judge Shaw by who his father is?” Kate said with asperity. “It’s so unfair! There’s so much you don’t know about him.”

  “That sounds almost like you admire him. Like you weren’t really joking when you said you loved him.”

  Kate saw the worried look in her mother’s eyes and said, “Shaw said I should just tell you the truth. But I didn’t want to admit what a shambles my life is in right now.”

  “Start at the beginning and tell me everything.”

  The baby started to fuss, and Kate placed him back in his mother’s arms. She watched as her mother opened her nightgown and offered Austin a breast. The baby began to suckle.

  And Kate began to talk.

  She sat at the foot of her mother’s bed and explained how she’d slept with Shaw and then learned she was pregnant. How she’d hidden the truth from J.D. How she’d discovered Shaw’s true identity. How she’d fallen in love with Jack again last fall. How J.D. had returned alive and well a year after his supposed death and asked for money to disappear.

  How Ann Wade had found out the twins weren’t J.D.’s sons when Lucky had been injured while she’d been in a coma. How her mother-in-law had hired a private investigator, who’d found Shaw and told him the truth.

  And how Shaw had insisted on taking her and the twi
ns to his compound in Houston to keep them safe from J.D., who was back and more dangerous than ever, and from his own father, who might threaten their safety.

  “This is all so unbelievable,” her mother said, clearly agitated. “I still don’t understand why you didn’t turn to Jack for help, if you’re in love with him.”

  “Jack is living in Houston with Holly. They…got back together.”

  “I’m so sorry, darling,” her mother said. She brushed at the fine black hair on Austin’s head. “I know how much Jack cared for you. And he was so good with the twins while you were in a coma.”

  “Holly’s pregnant.”

  “Oh, dear.”

  “So you see, I wasn’t kidding when I said my life’s a mess.”

  To Kate’s amazement, her mother grinned.

  “What’s so funny?” Kate demanded.

  “I’m wondering how Wyatt Shaw is faring downstairs with your father.”

  Kate was on her feet in an instant. “I’d better go rescue him.”

  Her mother laughed. “I’m wondering which one you think needs rescuing, your father or Shaw.”

  Her mother held up a hand to keep Kate from answering. “Sit down, Kate. I think it might be better if we let those two sort things out for themselves.”

  Wyatt had been fighting his emotions ever since he’d taken his first look at Kate’s baby brother. Because all he could think was how much he’d missed when his own sons had been born. He’d never counted their tiny fingers or toes. Or marveled at their tiny eyelashes and fingernails.

  He’d been angry at Kate all over again.

  At the same time, seeing that baby had made him wonder what it would be like if they made another child together. What would it be like to watch Kate’s belly grow? To watch her struggle to give birth? To cradle their newborn child in his arms?

  Fat chance of that happening.

  Ever since that first shattering night together in Houston, Kate had kept her distance. He might as well have been a lump of clay on the other side of the bed, for all the attention she paid him at night.

  On the other hand, he was aware of her every second. Heard every breath in and out of her lungs. Heard every sigh and snuffle. Heard the sheets rustle over her beguiling body as she turned in her sleep.