Second Chance (Chances #2)

by BJ Harvey

  “It means he doesn’t say a lot.”

  “You already said that, Mish.”

  He hesitates, and I catch him biting his lip, as if he’s mulling over how to say what he really wants to tell me. “I just wonder if there’s stuff he’s not saying.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’ve been thinking, and I can’t explain it.”

  “You’re just being the protective big brother who’s used to scaring the boys away.”

  “Hey, I haven’t done that since you were in high school.”

  “You didn’t get much of a chance after I met Luke.”

  “Wish I had scared that douchebag off,” he grinds out, banging a dish down into the rack harder than usual.

  “Well, you were there for me when I needed you.”

  “Yeah,” he says gently.

  I’ve never been more grateful than when Hamish turned up on my doorstep the day Luke left.

  “Is that why you’re wondering about Bruno? Because of Luke?”

  “Maybe,” he says with a sigh. “You haven’t brought another guy home since him, and that means Bruno means something to you—”

  “Mish . . .”

  “Gabs, this is me you’re talking to. He means something to you, or he’s well on his way to doing so.”

  “He’s a good guy. He doesn’t hide how he feels about me.”

  “I think we all saw that. He looks at you like you hang the moon.”

  My mouth drops open. “He does not.”

  Hamish grins at me. “He does, and I know that because I have a guy who looks at me the same way and I married him.”

  Well, shit. I take a deep breath, my voice going soft. “I like him, Mish. He makes me feel safe and happy. I feel content when I’m with him. Like it’s where I’m supposed to be.”

  “And he seems to know how to weather the storms that are your freak-outs.”

  My eyes bug out of my head, not just at my brother’s observation, but the fact he’s just admitted to spying on us. “I do not freak out.”

  “You were well on your way when you saw me standing at the door . . .” Hamish smirks. “And when you pulled up in the car . . .”

  “Why were you watching?” I splutter.

  “I was merely observing over Mom’s shoulder. She just happened to be holding back the blinds at the time,” he muses.

  “You two are as bad as each other.”

  Hamish goes quiet and when he speaks again, his voice is soft. “Does he know about Luke?”

  “No,” I say quickly, dropping my voice to a low whisper.

  “Does he know he’s the first guy in a long time you’ve let in?”

  “Mish . . .” I warn.

  “Gabs, it’s me you’re talking to. You’d shut yourself off from the mere possibility of anything meaningful with men for a long time, and now you’re bringing Bruno home to meet the parents. That’s a big step. It means something to you, which means he means something to you. But you aren’t really giving you guys a chance if you don’t give yourself to him wholeheartedly.”

  “I know.”

  “Maybe if you tell him about your past, he’ll know you’ve got a scary big brother who’ll deal to him if he doesn’t treat you right.”

  I giggle at that. We both know that it’s highly doubtful anyone could deal to Bruno, just from his sheer size alone.

  “It might also encourage him to open up a bit more. He seems tightly wound in a ‘hidden under the surface of a cool, calm exterior’ kind of way.”

  Hamish’s definitely right about that. But still . . . “I’m not sure I want to rock the boat.”

  “Life isn’t just smooth sailing and pretty sunsets, Gabs. There will always be rough seas and detours along the way. “

  “I’m happy with how things are going.” Am I, though?

  “Are you though?” he asks, voicing my exact thought.

  “Get out of my head,” I whisper.

  “You didn’t know about his family, did you?” My brother is sharp as a tack. I’ve never been able to get anything over him.

  “You got that, huh?” I ask, putting down the plate in my hand and turning toward him.

  “I can read you like a book, short stuff.”

  I take a deep breath, uneasy in the knowledge that I didn’t know—or at the reminder of how much I still don’t know about him. It’s a big thing—he has no one. There’s Bruno, and that’s it. It means before me, he was alone. A man like him should never be alone. He’s got too much to give. “I keep hoping he’ll open up to me in his own time.”

  Hamish wraps his arm around me and tilts his head down to meet my eyes before dropping his truth bomb. “And maybe he’s hoping the same is true with you.”

  I stare at him, dumbfounded. Maybe he’s right.

  Dammit.

  ***

  The drive home is a quiet one. I’m too in my head, thoughts of what I’m going to say to Bruno swirling around. Hamish was right—he always is when it comes to matters of the heart. I can’t expect Bruno to share things with me if he knows I’m still holding a hand up between us.

  It’s not intentional—not entirely. It’s more an ingrained need for self-preservation. Everything with Luke taught me to not trust easily and although I feel safe with Bruno, and I don’t think for a second he could ever hurt me the same way Luke did, I’m the only one who can truly protect my heart.

  When we arrive at my condo, Bruno gives me a smile and leads me inside like it’s our home, not just mine. What’s weird is it almost feels like he belongs here. I’ve caught myself liking his clothes on my floor and his razor in my shower. I like going running together and carpooling to work—all the ‘coupley’ things.

  After we share a shower and crawl into bed, Bruno lies on his back, my head resting on his shoulder and my body plastered to his. With his fingers mindlessly playing with my hair, I’m putty in his hands, my mind quiet for the first time tonight.

  “I told you it would go okay.”

  “Hmm?” I ask.

  “With your family. You had nothing to be nervous about.”

  “Yeah. They’re pretty awesome.”

  “Of course they are. They’re a part of you.”

  “You’ve gotta stop being so sweet. I might get used to it.”

  He gently pushes me onto my back and leans over me. “You’ve got me, Gabs. My plan is to sweeten you up so you’ll keep me around.”

  I grin up at him, unable to stop myself. “Ah, the truth finally comes out. And here I thought you were using sex to do that.”

  “That’s an added bonus. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.” His smile is infectious. His teasing is becoming one of my favorite things about him. Especially since it’s a side of himself he seems to save for me.

  He rests his weight into the mattress, leaning his head against his bent arm as he looks over at me. “I’m a bit disappointed I didn’t learn any embarrassing secrets about you though.”

  I turn my head and giggle. “Should I apologize?”

  “Maybe you should just tell me yourself.”

  My breath catches, and Bruno’s fingers tense on my hip, his expression gentling.

  “Gabs, I was just joking,” he says softly.

  “I do have something I wanted to tell you though . . .” I whisper, my hand mindlessly dragging against his back.

  Dipping his head, Bruno brings his eyes level with mine. “You can tell me anything, Gabs. You need to know that. Whatever it is, it just gives me another part of you. But I think I owe you an explanation.”

  My head jerks back into the pillow, my eyes narrowing.

  “What about?” I ask quietly, my heart thumping for an entirely different reason now. Here I was, gearing up to share myself, and now he’s the one who wants to talk. Given the fact that Bruno has never really talked with me about his past, I’m definitely not going to stop him now.

  He lies down, resting his head
on the pillow and pulling me closer so we’re on our sides, face-to-face. One of his arms is under my neck, the other is resting on my hip, and his eyes are focused on mine. “I said to you a few months ago that I’d give you whatever I had in me to share.”

  “Mmm,” I reply quietly, nodding against his arm, my gaze urging him to continue.

  “I should’ve known my family would come up in conversation tonight, and I didn’t miss that you were blindsided by what I said.”

  I bite my lip and wonder if I’ll ever be able to get something over this man. He reads me like a book, and I don’t even need to say a thing. If this goes the distance, I’m definitely screwed when it comes to keeping any kind of secret. Christmas presents, surprise vacations—any of it. It’ll all be ruined for eternity.

  Then again, since when did I start thinking about things between us in terms of ‘going the distance’ and eternity? Internally, I’m freaking out, but all Bruno can see right now—hopefully—is a gentle look on my face, waiting for him to continue. Inside – complete and utter riot, outside—calm, collected, put-together girlfriend.

  “I said I didn’t have a family now, and I don’t want you to misconstrue that. I don’t mean my family have passed away but they are just dead to me. They weren’t for most of my life, and then stuff went down and choices were made that went against everything I believe in as a man, so I walked away.”

  My chest aches. I don’t know what went down between them, although with the man Bruno is today and how loyal and caring and protective he is, it must’ve been something big for him to turn his back on them.

  I open my mouth to ask the obvious question, but he continues before I can get the first word out.

  “What I value most in life is love and respect, and when anyone in my life disregards those two things—in whatever way they do it—I don’t give them a second chance because life is short, it is hard, and no one should waste their time on someone or someones who don’t share the same values.” He sighs and takes a deep breath. “It may be harsh, it may be narrow, but I knew what I wanted in life from a young age. I’m not one to fuck around and I’m not a man who’ll let anyone fuck with the life I want.” His last words are full of conviction, his voice rough yet unequivocal.

  My brows lift and my lips part at his words. They’re definitive, they’re deep, and they’re also the most revealing ones I’ve ever heard him say outside of a sexual situation.

  This is the man I wanted to see, the man I wanted to find out more about. The man who—if he continues being this awesome—I definitely won’t be able to stop myself from falling in love with.

  My breath catches, causing his fingers to tense and bite into my skin.

  “The details aren’t important but when push came to shove, they made their choices and I stuck with mine. But I didn’t want to go to sleep with you tonight with you thinking that I’d lost my family when in fact they were the ones who lost me.”

  What makes a man turn away from his family? What makes him walk away and not look back? I can’t imagine never seeing my parents and brother again. It would break my heart worse than any man ever could.

  “So what did you do?” I ask, not wanting him to stop. The more he gives me, the more pieces I get, the more I want.

  “I left and never looked back. Not once, and I’ve been wandering ever since, searching for I don’t know what. Maybe peace, maybe solitude . . .”

  “Maybe a friendly neighborhood bar and bistro in Davis?” I ask with a wry smile.

  “You don’t even know how right you are.”

  I close the distance between us and brush my lips against his, the need to physically comfort him overwhelming. It’s not that he looks upset. He looks just the same as he always does when we’re together—cool, calm, and collected—but I also know that he’s a man who likes touch. He communicates with his mouth, his hands, and his body. It’s how he calms me when I need him to. I want to be the same salve for him as he is for me.

  It’s our way. It’s us. It’s what we do, and I’ve never in my life felt a connection like I have with him with anyone else. Never.

  I tuck my body as close as I can to his. I wrap my arms around him as best as our positions allow.

  “You’re a good man,” I whisper, touching our mouths together once more and staying there.

  We pull away, and he stares at me for a long time. His eyes roam my face. “I’m not saying I haven’t done wrong, baby,” he says softly. “I’m saying I have limits in life, and I live by them. Even with people who should be the most important to me, people who should stick by my side and don’t. I know you may see me differently, but I’d rather you do that now than do it when we’re deeper than we are now.”

  I can’t imagine a lifetime when I could be any deeper than I am right now. That thought should scare me, but it doesn’t.

  This is the most intimate moment we’ve shared. He’s been naked with me many times but he’s never been as bare as he is right now.

  “You know you can tell me anything. No matter what it is, where we are, whatever we are doing. I need you to know that,” Bruno says.

  “Good to know.”

  “And you probably won’t suddenly change your M.O. and turn into an open book overnight, but you can talk about your past with me. Whether it be your family, growing up, college, girlfriends . . .” His fingers knead the skin at my hips still and his eyes flash but he doesn’t say anything. Instead we lie there and stare at each other, his expression unreadable.

  Then he gifts me the most beautiful smile. His lips curve up on one side, giving me a glimpse of one of his dimples and it beats any of the grins he has given me before. Maybe because this is Bruno opened wide. This is him giving me something he doesn’t give anyone else.

  I ignore the stab of guilt that cuts through me at the thought because the tables have turned. He’s opened up to me and I haven’t given anything back.

  But that’s not what decimates me. That happens when I’m lifted up and find myself draped over his body, my arms shooting out to brace my weight on either side of his head. His hands drag their way up from my ass to my back, circling around to frame my face

  He opens his mouth and knocks my previously steady world right on its ass. “I could love you, Gabrielle Wallace.”

  Girl. Down.

  Breath gone. Brain scattered. Bull-headed determination to keep this man out of my heart totally forgotten.

  I open my mouth but not a single sound comes out. Instead of looking hurt or shutting down, the man gifts me one of his knowing smirks.

  He wraps a hand around my neck and pulls me down until my forehead is resting against his throat. “I’ll get you there, Gabs. I don’t care how long it takes or how hard I have to work for it. Anything in life worth having is worth fighting tooth and nail for, and when it comes to you, I find myself willing to wage the war.”

  It’s then that I send an S.O.S. out into the universe because if he keeps being this god damn perfect, I don’t stand a chance.

  Chapter 14

  “Wake up, sleepyhead.” A rough palm I know oh so well drags over my shoulder and down my bare arm, taking the covers with it. I keep my eyes closed, relishing in the delicious tingles his touch is eliciting.

  “Come back to bed.” I peek over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “God, it’s not even eight in the morning.”

  Bruno chuckles but thankfully doesn’t stop his hands-on exploration, not until he’s leaning over my body and his hand cups my ass. He nips my jaw, his lips hovering over mine. “You wanted to watch me work out?”

  Now that gets my attention. My eyes shoot open to meet his. “Really?” I squeak, barely able to hide my excitement. Screw having sex now. Seeing him get all hot and bothered will be the best kind of foreplay there is. Then we can come home and I can work out in my own much-preferred horizontal way.

  He chuckles, shaking his head at me. “You’re adorable.”

  “And
you’re in my way. Let me up so I can get dressed and get going,” I say, bouncing up against him, gently shoving him sideways.

  “Kiss me first,” he commands, and for a second I reconsider the need to delay the sex. If he’s gonna get all alpha and demanding on me, he’ll have to fight me off him.

  “Too late,” he mutters before he crushes his mouth to mine, his tongue diving deep, and if there was a question of sex now or sex later, there’s no doubt that my answer has changed to now and later.

  Unfortunately, he pulls back and grins when I growl at him. “Something wrong?” he asks, quirking his brow.

  “Two can play this game.” His grin gets bigger.

  “How about we play this game after I watch you bend and stretch in spandex for an hour? You remember how good it was last time we ‘worked out?’”

  Oh, do I ever.

  He stands and holds a hand out for me, helping me out of the bed and pressing a hard and fast kiss against my lips. “Get dressed and we’ll go. I’ve just got a few calls to make.”

  My head jerks back slightly. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. My lease is up so I need to look for a new place. There are a couple of showings today before work so I figure I should get a start on it before the month is up.”

  I don’t even think about what comes out of my mouth next. This is a guy I’ve known for more than a year now. We may have only been ‘involved’ for seven months, but that year has to count for something.

  “Why don’t you just move in here?”

  He freezes in place—I do too—my words obviously unexpected by the both of us.

  “Gabs, I appreciate the offer but that wouldn’t be a small thing. That is a rather big thing.”

  I wave my hand in the air. “It is. But considering we’re together almost every night now, and most of the time it’s here because your place is effectively a frat house, it makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, why focus on the bad when we can focus on the good? When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” I reply with a shrug.

  He steps forward, resting his hands on my shoulders and dipping his head to meet my eyes. “Baby, I was going to find a bigger place anyway. I don’t want you asking me out of some mistaken obligation. We’re good. This,” he says with a gentle squeeze, “this is good.”