Love in Maine

by Connie Falconeri

  Maddie laughed at his blind enthusiasm. “I love you like this,” she said, breathless.

  He got onto the couch and poised himself above her. “I love you all the time,” he said quietly.

  Hank leaned down and kissed her, driving them both higher and higher, and finally, home.

  CHAPTER 22

  When she recovered from the onslaught of their lovemaking, she turned to see Hank kneeling on the floor next to the sofa. He was holding a very old-looking gold ring in his hand, moving it around and around like he always did with his keys.

  “What is that?” Maddie asked softly.

  His eyes flew up. He looked so disheveled and gorgeous. Maddie felt languid and beautiful when he looked at her like that.

  “I had imagined this on the beach at sunset, with me on my knees or something stupid like that, but I just can’t wait another minute.” He shrugged and looked down at his mussed-up self, as if it couldn’t be helped.

  Maddie started crying before he even finished talking. “You look okay,” she choked out.

  “Madison Post, will you marry me?”

  She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him back on top of her. “You know I will . . . Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes . . .” She kissed him and pulled him onto her, loving the weight of his body pressing her deeper into the sofa.

  His smile was so grand. She wanted to make him smile like that every chance she got. Forever. He laughed and slipped the wide gold band onto her ring finger.

  “It’s kind of clunky, and it’s not really an engagement ring . . .”

  She looked confused. “I mean, there’s not going to be a second ring, so it’s sort of a combination engagement and wedding ring.”

  She looked down at the ancient gold ring, trying to focus on the tiny inscriptions that swirled around the rounded gold.

  “Why does this look familiar?”

  “Because it’s from the Getty collection—”

  She looked up horrified. “I can’t wear this—it’s too much, it’s priceless—”

  Hank held her fluttering hands together to still her. “It’s a reproduction, but thanks for thinking I could have pulled that off.”

  She smiled and breathed a huge sigh. “Thank god. After the coin, I don’t know what to think anymore . . .”

  They lay there quietly for a few more minutes. “It’s perfect, Hank.” Maddie looked up at the ring, where it sat on the hand she was extending behind his head. Solid and enduring, like Hank. “Just perfect. You give really good present.”

  He smiled and pulled the cuff of his shirt back to reveal the Blancpain Fifty Fathoms watch. “I learned from a master.”

  Maddie’s eyes lit up. “Oh my god, do you like it? Let me see it on you!” She grabbed his hand and looked at the beautiful old watch against his strong forearm. She leaned in and kissed the pulse point of his wrist. “I knew it would be perfect for you.”

  They spent the rest of the afternoon and all day Sunday out on the beach and upstairs in the big bed, with views to eternity across the tumultuous ocean and the windswept dunes. Gradually, Hank told her in bits and pieces about the time he’d spent in the military.

  He told her what it felt like to walk into the Army recruiter’s office on his eighteenth birthday and sign away the next three years of his life. And how he thought he was doing something really valorous and philanthropic, but how he also hoped to get as much out of that experience as he possibly could, to wring the meaning out of it. He told her about boot camp and how much he loved the order and regulation of everything. Actions had consequences that actually related to those actions.

  They were walking on the beach, the crisp Sunday morning breeze whipping around them.

  “Unlike growing up in my house, where there were always consequences, but I never knew where they came from. People got hurt. My father died. I could never do anything to make it happen or stop it from happening. Then I was deployed, in Iraq the first time, for two years. And again, I’d love to tell you it was miserable and hideous and awful, but it wasn’t. I felt like I was really a part of something meaningful for the first time in my life.”

  Maddie squeezed his hand. “I know what you mean, I think. It’s how I feel when I’m hitting my stroke in the quad scull. You’re a part of a machine, in the best possible way.”

  Hank smiled. “Exactly. And I was good at it. My commanding officer pulled me aside toward the end of my deployment and asked if I had ever considered staying in the Army and going to West Point to earn my college degree, to become an officer.”

  Maddie smiled and squeezed his hand.

  Hank turned to her quickly. “Yeah, chicks dig that part.”

  “You are horrible,” Maddie said, trying to pull her hand away, but he held her to him. “Just tell the story. I get it. You were hot shit and you couldn’t keep the babes away with a stick.”

  He shrugged, implying the truth was unassailable.

  “Just go on already, hot stuff.”

  “Okay. So, I didn’t want to deal with my mom’s constant pride-and-joy crap so I just . . . never told her. And then the compartmentalizing got to be sort of second nature. I was at West Point. I was writing letters to Mom, pretending I had gotten another deployment in Bahrain. It wasn’t the end of the world. I told her I’d been sent to do a desk job, and she was more relaxed that I was out of the line of fire and all that.”

  Maddie looked out to the sea. Away from him. She hated this part almost more than whatever horrible military situation he was leading up to. How could he lie to his mother? She tried to remember all the years he had suffered during Janet’s active alcoholism and to sympathize with that level of mistrust and vulnerability. But it was hard.

  “I told her,” he said a few minutes later, into the silence.

  “What?” Maddie turned back to face him.

  “I told my mom about West Point last September, after I started seeing the therapist. Keeping it from her was just juvenile and self-centered. She cried and then admitted it was mostly because she would have done anything to see me in all my finery when I graduated.”

  Maddie smiled up at him. “I’m glad.”

  “She was fine with it, Mad. I promise.”

  Maddie looked into his eyes and realized it was all part of him, and he was moving forward. She couldn’t expect any more than that without being the worst hypocrite on the planet.

  “I’m sorry I judged you.”

  “Oh, cut it out. I was a tool. You’re not judging me unfairly.”

  She smiled and shook her head. “So you’re all shiny and smart and a graduate of West Point, and then what?”

  His face clouded again, and she could tell it was hard. But, honestly, if he wasn’t ready to tell her, in even the loosest, sketchiest language, where he had been for those intervening years, he probably wasn’t ready to get married—

  “My final year at West Point I got into diving. I had already studied engineering, and that was when I worked on that project that was sold to your friend, Mr. Lodge’s, company. It seemed like such a cool combination of physical and mental and . . . well, anyway, it seemed like everything was coming together. So they ended up sending me to Bahrain, which was ironic since I had made that up to tell my mom before I went to West Point.”

  “What was it like?”

  “It was better than Iraq—I wasn’t getting shot at like the guys in Afghanistan, that was for sure. So I worked on a lot of structural ordnance kind of stuff. Sounds boring to a regular person, but you’d probably love it. Bridges and whatever. Anyway . . .” He took another one of those really deep breaths followed by the really long exhale, and turned to face Maddie.

  She said, “Let’s go sit over by the dunes. You don’t have to tell me.”

  “I want to.”

  She smiled and situated herself between his thighs, reminded of Harvard Yard and telling him she loved him. She shimmied her back up against his hard stomach and chest and settled into him. She reached around to pull his arms around
her.

  It was still early afternoon, and the spring weather felt good against her skin. She felt like she’d been in a tomb since the day she walked away from him at the Ritz in September. They were both coming back to life.

  They sat there on the beach for two hours while Hank held her and told her about the bombs he’d planted on the bottom of the ship, and the words seemed to float up and away from both of them, losing their power while Hank shared the misery and guilt and conflicting emotions that went along with those actions. He talked a little bit more about what it had been like for him in September and October, when he had finally gone to the VA hospital in Augusta and talked to the therapist about how it was destroying him. And how hard it was for him to be around people.

  Mostly they breathed into each other and let all the words drift and hover in the air around them. Eventually, he started to come around to the present, telling Maddie about the research he was doing and how it was within an international military operation, and that that was why he wasn’t able to tell her the details. He was working on a nuclear submarine, so communication with the outside world was infrequent and difficult.

  “At least I’m not handling any explosives,” he said finally.

  “Would you tell me if you were?”

  He laughed. “After everything I just told you, you think I wouldn’t tell you that? It’s all strategic consulting at this point. And it’ll be finished in a few months. I’ll be back August thirty-first. We’ll be together.” He squeezed her tighter against him.

  Over dinner Sunday night, they talked about long-term plans and where they wanted to be.

  “Where do you want to live when you get back?” Maddie asked, then put a bite of salad into her mouth while she waited for him to answer. They were sitting in the kitchen, Maddie in one of Hank’s gray T-shirts and Hank in a pair of loose athletic shorts. They had pretty much given up getting dressed while they were indoors.

  Hank looked out at the dark sea. “I don’t think I want to live in Maine. I think my mom is good now, especially with Phil. What do you think? Where do you want to live?”

  “I think, if I get this grant, I really want to go to Cyprus for the year. Would you want to do that? Together, I mean?”

  He smiled again. “I meant what I said in the car. I want to go where you are. We’ll figure it out.”

  After dinner, they curled up in the living room and pretended to read while they distracted each other with light teasing caresses.

  “What time do you have to be in class tomorrow?” Hank asked.

  “Oh, not until the afternoon. I meet with my thesis advisor at four, but other than that my schedule is clear. What about you? When do you have to go?”

  “I need to be in Boston for a three o’clock flight. I was thinking . . .”

  “Mm-hmm.” Maddie was half-listening and half-enjoying the feel of Hank’s lazy touch along her forearm.

  “I really want to meet your parents.”

  Maddie turned to look into his eyes. “You do?”

  “Yeah. I do. Can we stop by and see them tomorrow morning? Are they in Weston? Available for lunch or something . . . ?”

  Maddie kissed him. “They’ll make themselves available!” She jumped up and got her cell phone. “You are practically famous. The coin was like the best calling card you could have possibly presented. My father is dying to meet you, the numismatist, he calls you.”

  “And the soon-to-be son-in-law . . .”

  “Yes, there’s that.” Maddie smiled and talked while she hit the button for her parents’ phone number and then kept talking while she waited for them to pick up. “And my mom is all aflutter because Lila Lodge told her how dreamy you were—Hey, Mom!” Maddie smiled and widened her eyes at Hank.

  “Good, good. Yes.” Maddie laughed. “Let me get a word in edgewise. I got a surprise visit from Henry Gilbertson and—yes—that’s why I’m calling! Mom, we’re engaged!” Maddie laughed again, and Hank smiled as he watched her, loved her.

  “Okay. Yeah, Boston’s probably best . . . well, that’s a little stuffy, but okay . . .” She put the phone against her chest and whispered to Hank. “They want to take us to the Harvard Club for lunch, do you mind?”

  He smiled. “Perfect.”

  Maddie finished up her phone conversation and they were all set to meet the next day at noon. “I’m so excited! It’s going to be all my favorite people in one place!”

  Hank stood up and pulled her into a hug.

  The next day, when the two of them walked toward the front doors of the stolid brick and limestone building on Commonwealth Avenue, Maddie saw her parents walking down the sidewalk from the other direction. She gave Hank’s hand a little squeeze. “Here they come.”

  A few seconds later, her parents were up the steps and they were all hugging and introducing one another. Laura gave Maddie a big hug accompanied by a loud stage whisper, “He is so handsome, sweet pea!”

  Maddie blushed and looked at Hank. Because he was handsome. And he was hers to look at.

  “Mom, this is Henry Gilbertson. Henry, this is my mother, Laura Post.”

  “Hello, Henry,” Laura said with a beaming smile. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you. We’ve heard all sorts of wonderful things about you. This is Maddie’s father, William Post.”

  Henry and Maddie’s father shook hands, and Hank said, “Nice to meet you, sir,” in a formal military way that gave Maddie shivers.

  They went inside, and Maddie’s father spoke to the attendant behind the front desk, then the four of them went into the private room that her dad had reserved for them to have lunch.

  “William’s been very eager to meet you in person,” Laura launched in as soon as they’d all sat down and spread their napkins on their laps. “Since Christmas, of course, with the wonderful coin you gave Maddie . . .”

  Laura paused and looked around at the other three people, then laughed when she realized she had been talking the entire time since they had hugged at the front door. “Oh. I’m so sorry. We’re all a little excited.”

  Maddie smiled and felt as if her whole existence had been leading up to this moment—that all the years and split seconds of her life until now had been an act of preparation to take Hank into her life, to receive him like this.

  Hank and her father were now talking about the research that Hank had been doing when he came upon the Greek coin. Maddie looked from one man to the other. She felt momentarily that no matter how modern she was, there was a changing of the guard transpiring before her eyes. Henry wanted to be responsible for Maddie in the most elemental, possessive way. It felt almost physical, like she was being placed into his care.

  It was exactly the opposite of how she had felt when she wanted to keep him away from the “rest” of her life, to save herself from having all those independent memories colored by her feelings for Hank. Now she wanted everything and everyone in her life to be mixed together with those feelings. She would need her parents to tell anecdotes about this lunch while Hank was away again for the next four months. Maddie would need her mother to remind her how handsome and kind and smart he was. How Maddie needed to learn patience.

  They spent the rest of lunch in a happy rush of sharing information about Maddie’s grant application, Hank’s interests in deep-sea diving, engineering, and material physics, and eventually combining them somehow.

  By the time they finished lunch it was after two, and Hank looked at his watch. “I’m so sorry, I have to be at the airfield by three. It has been such a pleasure meeting you both.”

  They all stood up and walked to the parking garage together. Hank took Maddie’s duffle bag out of his car and handed it to her. She set it down, and he gave her a hug and a too-short kiss while her parents tried to look in another direction. They had agreed that Maddie’s parents would take her back to the station to get her train to Providence since Hank needed to catch his plane.

  “August thirty-first? Okay?” He traced his finger along her jaw.
r />   “Okay,” Maddie said, her eyes beginning to burn.

  “Okay.” He hugged her again and kissed her one last time, finally releasing her and saying another good-bye to Maddie’s parents. He took another long look at Maddie, then got into the car and drove away.

  “So. There you have it,” Maddie said to her parents. Her mom pulled her into a hug and let her cry into her.

  “You’ll be fine, sweetheart, he’ll be back before you know it.”

  Maddie pulled herself together and got into the backseat of her dad’s station wagon, feeling like she was about twelve years old.

  CHAPTER 23

  The next few months were not nearly as miserable as Maddie had expected. Hank was right that keeping diabolically busy helped to pass the time. She’d received the grant, and they’d even asked her to lead a small team of researchers who would be in charge of drawing up and analyzing the findings for an archaeological group in Cyprus. She received the list of possible candidates in the middle of July and worked closely with the head of the Cypriot university team to decide on the best-qualified people.

  By the middle of August, she was frantic with wanting to see Hank. Maddie had spent a week in Maine in June with Janet and Phil before their marriage ceremony. Hank had managed to get in a long Skype call the morning of the wedding, so that had been something. But not nearly enough.

  After making some additional arrangements with her colleagues in Cyprus and Boston, Maddie decided to take matters into her own hands.

  The twenty-two hours of travel with a layover at Heathrow got her into Larnaca in the middle of a scorching afternoon on August twenty-ninth. A car was waiting for her at the airport when she arrived and took her to the small house in the hills that she received as part of her academic housing stipend.

  The next morning, she showered and called a taxi to take her to the university to meet with her team leader, the professor who was running the entire operation. Maddie was shown a small office. “This is where you can leave your things and write up your findings, but I suspect you won’t be spending much time here as the bulk of your research will be compiled while you are at sea.”