Love, Lucas

by Chantele Sedgwick

  I REALLY WANTED THAT SNICKERS. EAT A FEW FOR ME, OKAY? EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU LIKE MILKY WAYS BETTER. AT LEAST EAT ONE SNICKERS FOR ME. I’LL MISS THEM.

  LOVE, LUCAS

  It’s late. Like 2 a.m. late. I set Lucas’s notebook back on the nightstand and lie back on my bed. I’ve tossed and turned for hours and can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about Dad’s offer. I know he misses me, and I miss him, but something is keeping me here. I decide not to dwell on it and think about my other problem: my earlier conversation with Carson. It replays over and over in my head. He was mad and it’s my fault. I know I shouldn’t have told him to talk to his dad. It wasn’t my place to say anything like that.

  I have to apologize.

  I know it’s stupid but I sneak out of my room. Maybe he’s awake like me. And if not, I’ll figure something out. I make it halfway to Carson’s house and realize what I’m wearing. A white tank and bright pink board shorts. Nice. At least I’m wearing a bra, I guess.

  I sneak around Carson’s house and see a light coming from a basement window. I’m sure it’s not his parents’ room, since I’ve never met anyone whose parents sleep in the basement, so I take a chance and knock on it.

  A few seconds later, the blinds open enough for me to see a pair of dark brown eyes. They don’t belong to Carson.

  I step back as the eyes stare at me and then the blinds close.

  Crap. Now what? I don’t want to knock on another window. Who knows how many people live in Carson’s house? He’s never told me how many siblings he has; I know of at least one sister. I hesitate and take a step to start back to my house when the window I knocked on opens, spilling light onto me and my awesome pajamas.

  “Oakley?” Carson stands in the room in just a pair of boxers. He looks tired.

  “Uh . . . hi,” I say. Now I’m embarrassed. Why the heck did I think it would be okay to knock on his window in the middle of the night?

  He looks me over and a small smile appears. “What are you doing?”

  I fold my arms. “I couldn’t sleep. And . . . I needed to talk to you.”

  “Now?” He smiles wider. “At two in the morning?”

  “I know. I’m an idiot.”

  He laughs. “No, you’re not. Hold on a sec.”

  “Oh, just let her in. I want to meet her anyway,” another voice says.

  A face appears over his shoulder. A tall girl with big brown eyes and a dark complexion.

  Carson comes over to the window again. “Come on,” he says and reaches a hand toward me. I step down onto the sill and his strong hands wrap around my arms to help me inside.

  He doesn’t release me when my feet are on the floor and I put a hand on his chest. I try not to stare at him, especially with another person in the room, but it’s hard not to. He looks amazing.

  I clear my throat and step back. His cheeks turn pink and he motions toward the girl standing behind him. “Oakley, this is Keilani. My sister.”

  I remember hearing her name. They don’t look anything alike though. She looks Polynesian or something. She’s beautiful, with perfect skin and straight black hair. That’s when I remember Carson’s dad remarried. Of course they don’t look alike. They’re step-siblings.

  She moves forward and pulls me into a hug. I’m too surprised to say anything, so I awkwardly hug her back. She squeezes me really tight before letting go. “I’ve been wanting to meet you since Carson first told me about you.”

  I glance at him and he looks away, embarrassed. “What has he told you exactly?”

  “That we’re the same age. Isn’t that wonderful?” She laughs and brushes her long dark hair out of her face. “I wish you weren’t already graduated though. We could totally hang out at school.”

  “Yeah, I lucked out on that, I guess. I forget people are still in school around here. It just feels like a long summer vacation for me.”

  She chuckles. “Seriously. Lucky. I still have three months until I graduate.” She frowns, then her eyes light up again. “Carson told me you play the guitar too. I’d love to hear you sometime.”

  I glance at Carson as he beams down at me. “Oh, come on. I’m not that good.”

  Carson nudges me. “Whatever.” He chuckles. “She sings too. Apparently just about as good as you, Lani.”

  Her eyes widen. “You can’t sing either?”

  I laugh. “Nope. Thanks for bringing that up by the way.” I look over at him and smile. We stare at each other a moment until Keilani clears her throat.

  “I’ll . . . uh . . . leave you two alone.” She giggles and starts to leave the room.

  “This is your room, Lani. We’ll go in my room.”

  “I doubt Mom would like that,” she says, giving him a look.

  He rolls his eyes. “It’s two in the morning, Lani. You know she’s here. We’re not gonna . . . get in trouble or anything.”

  I can’t look at Carson. I know I’m red from head to toe.

  She shrugs. “I’ll be in the kitchen eating ice cream. Come get me when you’re done ‘talking.’” She winks at me and leaves us alone.

  “She seems—”

  “Crazy?” Carson finishes.

  “I was going to say nice. People don’t usually hug me. That was oddly comforting.”

  “Lani likes to hug people. I think it’s weird, but whatever.” He smiles and stares at me a second before running his fingers through his messy hair. “So, why’d you come over anyway?”

  “I wanted to apologize. For earlier. I shouldn’t have said anything about your dad. I’m sorry.”

  He raises his eyebrows. “You’re apologizing to me?” He shakes his head. “I should be apologizing to you. I was a jerk. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was just me being stupid.”

  “But I said you should talk to your dad. I shouldn’t have said that when I have the same problem with my mom.”

  “You were right though. I should talk to him.” He steps closer. “I was in a bad mood. I’m sorry I took it out on you.” He heaves a sigh. “And then I saw you with Dillon and I just . . .” He trails off and looks away.

  Oh. He saw me with Dillon. It all makes sense now. “You think I like Dillon?”

  He shrugs. “I have no idea what to think. I know he’s had a thing for you since he saw you on the beach that first day. And all the other girls seem to throw themselves in front of him whenever they get the chance. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if you went after him.”

  I chuckle. It’s hilarious that he’s jealous and that he thinks I’d ever “go after” anyone. I have no desire to date Dillon at all. Especially when I just kissed Carson last night. Which we should probably talk about but I’m not brave enough to bring it up. “I don’t like Dillon. Even a little bit.”

  He glances at me with a look of relief. “Really?”

  “Really.” I pause and smile. “He is pretty tan though,” I say. “And the way his eyes match the ocean is dazzling.”

  Carson grins. “He has brown eyes.”

  “Oh. Oops. See? I don’t even know what color eyes he has.”

  He takes a step toward me and slides his arms around my waist. “You’re hilarious. And your outfit is really . . . cute.”

  “Cute?” I wrinkle my nose. Cute sounds like something a little girl would wear. “Should I put pigtails in my hair to match all this cuteness?”

  He smiles before he leans in and whispers in my ear. “If you want me to say sexy, I will.”

  I chuckle and bury my face against his chest so he doesn’t see me blush. “I think you should have stuck with cute,” I say into his shirt.

  “Sexy it is.”

  I half laugh, half snort, making my cheeks flame. He chuckles and holds me closer, making my heart speed up. We both grow quiet as I pull away just enough to meet his eyes, and before I know what’s happening, his lips are on mine.

  I’m not sure what to do again, since it’s not just a little kiss, but my lips move on their own and his hands tighten around my waist. I slide my
fingers up his arms and around his neck. I feel him smile underneath my lips and pull away.

  “What?” I say. “Am I doing something wrong?”

  He doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head and kisses me again. I never knew how much fun kissing could be. And now that I know how it feels, I don’t want it to end.

  We pull away just as we hear someone coming down the stairs. I step away from Carson as Keilani bounds into the room.

  “Enjoy your ice cream?” Carson asks, sneaking a glance at me.

  “Yep. Now I’d like to go to bed, so you know, wrap it up.” She gives me a smile. “It was so nice to meet you, Oakley. We’ll have to hang out soon. I know we’ll be great friends.”

  “Um, she was my friend first,” Carson says.

  She laughs. “Right. Friend,” she says slowly.

  I chuckle and head toward the window. Carson tells me goodnight and wraps me in a hug. “Thanks for coming over. I’m still sorry about today.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I say. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He doesn’t kiss me, just helps me back out the window. I break into a jog and make it back to my room in one piece.

  I’m wired now. From the kiss, from Carson basically admitting he was jealous of Dillon, and from meeting Keilani. But mostly just from the kiss.

  I’m pretty sure I won’t sleep well tonight.

  CHAPTER 16

  DEAR OAKLEY,

  I HAD A REALLY WEIRD DREAM LAST NIGHT. WE WERE RUNNING THOUGH SOME FIELD AND PEOPLE WERE CHASING US WITH KNIVES AND STUFF. I WAS AN AWESOME ARCHER AND YOU WERE PRETTY COOL, TOO, THOUGH I CAN'T REMEMBER WHY. ALL I REMEMBER IS I WAS CRAZY AWESOME AND TOOK OUT LIKE TEN PEOPLE. I SAVED YOUR LIFE. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF ME THAT I CARED SO MUCH ABOUT MY BABY SISTER. EVEN THOUGH WE’RE TWO YEARS APART, YOU’RE STILL MY BEST FRIEND. BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I’M STILL OLDER AND WISER THAN YOU. AND A LITTLE COOLER, I THINK. BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT, DON’T YOU. AND NO, THAT WASN’T A QUESTION.

  YOU KNOW WHAT I WISH I WOULD HAVE DONE? I WISH I WOULD HAVE READ MORE BOOKS. YOU OF ALL PEOPLE KNOW HOW MUCH I DESPISE READING ANYTHING. MY EYES CAN’T HANDLE THAT MUCH STIMULATION. ACTUALLY, I JUST GET BORED. BESIDES THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS, AND THOSE REALLY “DEEP” BOOKS I HAD TO READ FOR HONORS ENGLISH THAT I NEVER UNDERSTOOD . . . OR FINISHED, I HAVEN’T REALLY READ ANYTHING. I’M SURE THERE ARE A LOT OF GOOD BOOKS OUT THERE. SO DO ME A FAVOR AND READ SOME FOR ME. PROBABLY START WITH THE HUNGER GAMES, SINCE MY DREAM WAS BASICALLY ME AS KATNISS BUT MALE. THAT WAS A GOOD MOVIE. PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN COOLER IF I HAD READ THE BOOKS FIRST. HAPPY HUNGER GAMES, OAKLEY. “AND MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR.”

  LOVE, LUCAS

  Seven in the morning. Why am I awake so early? My head aches from being up so late and I set the notebook on the nightstand. I pick up my Kindle and download The Hunger Games. I’ve never read it and Lucas told me to, so I will. I set it back down on the nightstand and close my eyes again. I’ll read it when I’m fully awake.

  I hear Jo call my name from down the hall but put my pillow over my head instead. I don’t want to get up yet. I’m exhausted. It’s my own fault since I decided to go tap on people’s windows in the middle of the night.

  “Oakley!” Jo yells again.

  “Too early,” I say to myself. I pull my covers over my head as well.

  She knocks on my door and opens it before I answer. “Oakley, I’ve been calling your name forever. Get up.” She pulls the covers back but I don’t move. I stay curled in my little ball in the middle of my bed.

  “Can’t I just have one more hour?” I squint at the light as she opens my blinds.

  “I’m not gonna make that boy wait for you any longer, now get up.”

  I sit up and stare at her. “What boy?”

  Her smile is cynical. “Carson’s here. He says he’s taking you surfing this morning.”

  “What?” I glance at the clock. It’s a little past seven now. Mornings are seriously the worst.

  She laughs at my expression this time. “Come on, Sleeping Beauty. He’s already in his wet suit and everything. You’d better hurry and get dressed before he decides to take someone else.”

  Really? Who gets up this early when they don’t have a reason to? I let out an exaggerated sigh and climb out of bed. My wet suit is in a heap on the floor in my closet, my swimsuit next to it. I put both of them on, though I’m not able to zip up the back of the suit.

  One glance in the mirror on my wall and I’m freaking out. I look horrible. My eyes are all saggy and weird from lack of sleep and my hair is . . . well, let’s just say it resembles some kind of wild animal. I dart across the hall to the bathroom, pat it down with some water, and pull it into a tight ponytail. I debate whether I should put on makeup. We’re going surfing. In the ocean. I know it will all wash off but I slip on some foundation and a little mascara anyway.

  Another glance in the mirror and my face looks a little better, but not much.

  “Oakley? You ready yet?” Jo yells.

  Taking one last look at my crappy self, I open the door and trudge down the hall.

  “She almost takes as long as you. Which is saying something,” Jo says. Carson laughs and I hear Mom laugh as well. I come around the corner with my hands on my hips. Jo grins. “You heard that?”

  “I’ll never take as long as my mom does to get ready,” I say. “What took me five minutes would be an hour for her.”

  Jo nods. “Yes. You’re probably right.”

  Mom studies me for a second and looks at Jo. “Guilty.”

  Mom and I share a smile as Jo walks past me and into the kitchen. “Don’t forget breakfast,” she says, throwing me an apple.

  “Thanks.” I sink my teeth into it and take a big bite.

  “You ready?”

  I turn toward Carson. “Mmhmm.” I’m surprised he hasn’t run away yet. Or shrunk away at my appearance. I’m not lying when I say I look pretty bad. And now I’m chomping on an apple. Seriously. It’s like half gone already.

  “Let’s go then,” he says.

  “Be careful, you two,” Jo says as she pours some coffee in her mug.

  “No worries,” Carson says.

  Mom hands me a towel. “Have fun.”

  I take it and meet her eyes, surprised by her smile. “We will.” She hasn’t talked to me about Dad’s surprise visit yet, but there really isn’t much to say. She knows I chose to stay with her, for whatever reason.

  I grab my surfboard and follow Carson out the door. We cross the street and head down to the beach.

  “Your mom’s nice,” he says.

  “She’s alright, I guess.”

  “She thinks a lot of you.”

  I glance at him. “Why do you say that?”

  He shrugs. “She told me. You took a while getting ready and we talked.”

  “What did she say?” Do I want to know?

  “She said you were really into sports when you were in high school and made the honor roll every term. She also told me you ran for senior class president and won. I didn’t know that. That’s pretty cool.”

  Was. Was cool. “She didn’t mention the part when I dropped out of everything?”

  He’s silent for a moment. “No. She didn’t mention that.” He stops and grabs my hand. “She didn’t say anything bad. Trust me.”

  “Huh.” Emotion builds in my chest and I take a deep breath to calm myself.

  “You okay?”

  I clear my throat. “Yeah.” I squeeze his hand. “Thank you.”

  “You should talk to her. I can sense the tension when you’re together.”

  I sigh. “I know. It’s just . . . hard.”

  He pulls me into a hug and doesn’t say anything else.

  I take a few deep breaths and pull away. “Are you really going to surf today? Is your foot better?” I ask, hoping to change the subject. I start walking and take another bite of my apple. I forgot I still had it.

  “Good as new.” He glances in my dire
ction. “Sleep well last night?”

  I swallow and blush. “I could have used a little more.”

  He chuckles. “I figured since I have to work most of the week, I’d take you out this morning. Sorry I didn’t mention it last night. I was a little wired.”

  “Apparently so was I, since I knocked on your sister’s window at two in the morning. Why were you still awake anyway?” I stop walking and throw my apple core in a garbage can.

  “Um . . . I wasn’t. She came in and woke me up.”

  “What? Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! When I saw the light, I thought it was your room. I didn’t mean to wake you. If I would have known it was her room in the first place, I wouldn’t have even bothered. Can you tell her—”

  He puts a finger to my lips and leans in close. “I’m glad you came. Don’t be sorry at all.”

  “But—”

  He silences me with a kiss. My toes curl into the sand and when he pulls away, all I can do is stare. I’ve never kissed anyone in public before. I glance around but no one’s even paying attention to us. I look back at him and he searches my face.

  “Was that okay? I have to ask. I don’t want to move too fast or anything.”

  Was it okay? Was he kidding?

  “Yes!” I blurt and then shut my mouth just as fast. I step back as he starts laughing and we continue toward the beach. We reach the water and walk in until we’re about waist deep. “You ready for this?”

  “Sure.” I gulp and my grip tightens on my board.

  “Just stay with me.” He plops down on his board and starts paddling out toward the monster waves. I follow suit and he waits patiently for me while I try and keep up.

  While he dives into a wave and appears on the other side, I have to push off the bottom and go over it. When we get to deeper water, I struggle to move past the big waves.

  I finally reach a calm part of the water and he’s waiting for me. He’s sitting on his board, his legs dangling in the water. I pull myself into a sitting position and take a few deep breaths. I’m exhausted already. Just from pushing past the waves. “How do you dive in the waves like that? It looks a lot easier than trying not to get smashed by them.”