The Top Gear Story

by Martin Roach

  By the summer of 2011, some water seemed to have flowed under the bridge when Richard Hammond and Ben Collins both attended a fundraiser for a military amputee charity. When he came to introduce his former colleague, Hammond told the crowd to welcome ‘ex-Stig Ben Collins’.

  Aside from resurgence of The Stig, elsewhere for Top Gear the controversy never seems to subside. In late 2010, the media regulator Ofcom had censured Jeremy Clarkson over what was deemed ‘discriminatory’ language, which had the potential to be highly offensive to some viewers. This was following a review of the Ferrari F430 Speciale in which Jezza stated that it was ‘a bit wrong – that smiling front end – it looked like a simpleton – [it] should have been called the 430 Speciale Needs.’ Ofcom received two complaints and in announcing its decision offered that it had taken into account Top Gear’s ‘irreverent style and sometimes outspoken humour and studio banter’ but ultimately found against the show – ‘In Ofcom’s opinion, while obviously intended as a joke and not aimed directly at an individual with learning difficulties, the comment could easily be understood as ridiculing people in society with a particular physical disability or learning difficulty.’ The BBC responded to the censure by removing the reference from all future repeats, as well as the BBC iPlayer online service.

  CHAPTER 22

  Headlines and Heat

  If 2010 had been the year when Stig was unmasked, then 2011 was in some ways an even more difficult one for Top Gear. Although they had cleverly and almost seamlessly negotiated the Stig controversy and forged a future with the same white-suited driver playing an identical role, both on screen and away from the cameras, this was not a great year for some of the team.

  Jeremy in particular continued to attract headlines. The New Year had started very well – in late January 2011, the programme scooped the ‘Best Factual’ gong at the National Television Awards but the crew were not able to celebrate for long. Just seven days later, the fairly average opening episodes of Series 16 were overshadowed by yet another ‘foreign friends’ controversy, following comments on the show about Mexicans, which solicited an official complaint from that country’s ambassador to London. The on-screen conversation between May, Hammond and Jezza expounded the theory that national characteristics and generalised personality traits were reflected in cars from specific countries. Among the choice cuts of this particular exchange was the following foray into international diplomacy from Hammond: ‘Mexican cars are just going to be lazy, feckless, flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep, looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat.’ Mexican food was referred to as ‘refried sick’ and the trio even tipped a wink at any possible forthcoming complaints, with Clarkson saying it was highly unlikely as the Mexican Ambassador would be asleep.

  Well, the Ambassador wasn’t asleep and he was none too happy either. The most senior Mexican official in Britain fired off an official complaint to the BBC objecting to the ‘offensive, xenophobic and humiliating’ comments. ‘The presenters of the programme resorted to outrageous, vulgar and inexcusable insults to stir bigoted feelings against the Mexican people, their culture, as well as their official representative in the United Kingdom … [which] only serve to reinforce negative stereotypes and perpetuate prejudice against Mexico and its people.’ The BBC apologised and Jeremy offered a serious discussion in his Sun column suggesting if all humour is stripped of any material that may offend someone, somewhere, then there is no humour left at all. As if to underline the point, he rounded off with another gag about Mexicans. Once more, Top Gear ended up in political hot water when a cross-party group of six MPs said: ‘This level of ignorance is far below anything expected from anyone in the public eye and illustrates a serious lack of judgment by the programme-makers.’

  By now, Top Gear had become an example held up by its many critics for all that was politically incorrect and offensive about certain types of British television. By way of defence, Clarkson suggested it wasn’t his show that was of concern, but the creeping and insidious atmosphere of humourless PC campaigners aiming to make all TV inoffensive. Speaking at those National Television Awards a few days earlier (which was set against a backdrop of Sky Sports presenters Andy Gray and Richard Keys being sacked for alleged ‘sexist’ comments), Clarkson made a reference to the famous Monty Python ‘Spanish Inquisition’ sketch, saying, ‘We’ve arrived at a stage where you actually can be busted for heresy by thought, which is a terrifying place to live.’ James May took a slightly more light-hearted approach on that awards night, collecting the trophy and saying he’d like to thank ‘the girl who tucked our microphone cables down our trousers’ – a reference to a comment made by Andy Gray that had contributed to his dismissal by Sky. Clarkson opined that if the same rules that had applied to Keys and Gray were set out for Top Gear, then he and his brace of presenter pals would have been sacked 100 times! (Notably, half of the Top Gear production crew is female.)

  If it wasn’t comments on the show or in interviews that caused problems for the Top Gear trio, then later in 2011, it was elements of Jeremy Clarkson’s private life that caused the spotlight to once again fall on him. Clarkson was the subject of countless newspaper headlines after a super-injunction which he had issued was lifted and numerous publications subsequently chose to run articles about his private life. This latest legal development was set against a context of the now infamous Ryan Giggs ‘super-injunction’ story, where it eventually transpired that the married footballer had been having an affair and had used the expensive super-injunction procedure to keep this fact a secret. A phone-hacking scandal was also erupting around the News of the World that would eventually lead to the Leveson Inquiry and so celebrities’ private lives and the role of the media was very much a hot topic. While the far-wider argument continues to rage about the privacy of famous faces as against what the media – rightly or wrongly – considers to be a justification of public interest, once more the heat on Jeremy seemed to dissipate quite quickly and he was able to get back to the business of filming for Top Gear, whose ratings it should be noted seemed totally unaffected.

  However, a much greater fury was soon heading Clarkson’s way. In December 2011, while public sector workers were striking en masse on the streets of Britain in protest at proposed changes to their pensions (with an estimated two million people out on strike), Jeremy went on the early-evening magazine programme The One Show for an unrelated interview. When the chat moved on to the inevitable topic of the strike, he made a joke that would soon see him on the front page of most tabloids and become, yet again, a media target. Initially pointing out the lack of public services had made the streets quiet and easy to commute through, Jeremy warmed up and delivered this joke: ‘We have to balance this, though, because this is the BBC. Frankly, I’d have them [the strikers] all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean, how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed while the rest of us have to work for a living.’ In fact, many people took greater offence towards the end of the interview when Clarkson questioned why trains have to stop when someone jumps in front of them, with his point being – again seemingly in jest when you see the clip – that delaying the train is not going to help that person.

  Nonetheless it was joking that he would execute the strikers in front of their families that seemed to cause most offence. Cue outrage from the unions amid calls for Clarkson’s immediate sacking over what were described as ‘appalling’ comments; according to some unverified sources within a few days there were over 30,000 complaints made to the BBC. One union spokeswoman said: ‘The excuse that this has been said in humour is completely and utterly unacceptable.’ Dave Prentis, UNISON’s general secretary, was quoted in the Mail as saying, ‘While he is driving round in fast cars for a living, public sector workers are busy holding our society together: they save others’ lives on a daily basis, they care for the sick, the vulnerable, the elderly.
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  The BBC itself was moved to publish the transcript of the interview but their action did little to dampen the growing and vociferous criticism. Clarkson issued an apology, in which he said, ‘I didn’t for a moment intend these remarks to be taken seriously – as I believe is clear if they’re seen in context. If the BBC and I have caused any offence, I’m quite happy to apologise for it alongside them.’ The BBC was also moved to try and temper the outrage by saying, ‘The One Show is a live topical programme which often reflects the day’s talking points. Usually we get it right, but on this occasion we feel the item wasn’t perfectly judged. The BBC and Jeremy would like to apologise for any offence caused.’

  Some political commentators pointed out that Clarkson is a personal friend of Prime Minister David Cameron and that these ‘light-hearted’ remarks were perhaps more damaging than just a joke. When confronted with his pal’s comments on ITV’s This Morning, the Prime Minister firmly brushed the issue aside, saying it had been ‘a silly thing to say … I’m sure he didn’t mean it’; Labour leader Ed Miliband was less conciliatory and said the comments were ‘disgusting’. UNISON even went so far as to invite Jeremy onto a hospital ward to join a healthcare assistant for a day at work. Previously they had said they were seeking legal advice about whether his remarks could be referred to the police, although they later welcomed the apology.

  The BBC, it seemed, was clear in its position. Director-General Mark Thompson said: ‘I don’t intend to sack him. I believe it is absolutely clear to anyone who watches the clips, perhaps not who reads a section of the transcript, these remarks are said entirely in jest and not to be taken seriously. In my view Jeremy Clarkson’s remarks were absolutely and clearly intended as a joke.’ He went on to say, ‘There are many millions of people who very strongly support and enjoy Jeremy Clarkson,’ and also that the complaints have ‘to be balanced against a couple of flippant remarks in one programme. Well over 20 million people watch Top Gear in a given season. It gets a very high rating from the public for quality. People watch that programme expecting often outspoken humour from Clarkson.’ BBC Trust chairman Lord Patten went even further in his defence, saying of Top Gear that, ‘[It is] probably one of the leading “cultural” exports of this country. A lot of people would be disappointed [if he was sacked].’ Clarkson later flew out of the country, while it emerged that the BBC had also received 341 messages of support for him. Others pointed out that the number of complaints received was less than 2 per cent of the people claimed to be on strike.

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  Clarkson wasn’t sacked and the show continued. He still had a Christmas surprise for his critics, though, when a New Year Indian Special featured a number of comments about the country’s culture that were likely to raise eyebrows. These included jokes about food, trains and a Jaguar car fitted with a toilet seat on the boot. This time the number of complaints was tiny compared to The One Show, numbering less than 200, but a diplomatic spat was potentially around the corner when the Indian High Commission complained formally to the BBC for what it considered ‘offensive’ remarks and ‘toilet humour’.

  This controversy came at the end of a quite ordinary year of Top Gear shows. Series 16 and 17 had run throughout 2011 and had perhaps been some of the weaker episodes in the show’s otherwise strong canon. To some media observers and members of the public alike, many of the challenges seemed a little repetitive or tired and there were relatively few spectacular highlights. Aside from making their own snow plough out of a combine harvester and the first return to the ‘Cool Wall’ for two years, a fascinating verbal tussle with former deputy Labour leader John Prescott and Jezza was the best moment of Series 16. Perhaps most obviously the classic fourth episode featured the finest sequence in Series 17 when the trio set out to prove train travel can be made cheaper and more accessible.

  Clarkson pulled a carriage with a 1980s Jaguar XJ-S convertible converted to run on train wheels, while Hammond and May used an Audi S8 to pull several caravans (predictably perhaps, they eventually caught fire). Another highlight was the eminently affable double Formula 1 World Champion Sebastian Vettel at the top of the F1 drivers’ leaderboard, with a Suzuki Liana time of 1.44.0m. But otherwise it was only a modestly entertaining pair of series, with several lulls when the comedy and larking about just swamped any serious car talk at all. All this was largely overshadowed by the on-going controversies swirling around the show and its presenters. And this is a crucial fact – among all the media and personal controversy, it is sometimes hard to forget there is a TV show about cars at the centre of the story. Fortunately, with the spectacular 18th series of Top Gear, the team delivered the perfect reminder of exactly why they were the most popular automotive show on earth.

  CHAPTER 23

  Back in the Game

  With all the press furore surrounding Clarkson’s comments about strikers still fresh in the memory, the opening episode of Top Gear Series 18 was guaranteed to be watched even more closely than usual. Cynics suggested this was exactly what Clarkson was doing when he made such comments, that these ‘controversies’ often seemed to arise when he was promoting a DVD or a new series. However, he makes comments that some people find offensive at other times, too and it just so happens that when he is promoting a new series or project he has to appear on radio and TV and other interviews, which means he has to chat, which means he tends to speak, which in turn means he sometimes offends people. For him, it’s a Catch-22. And it’s not as if Jeremy Clarkson is a new talent to our screens who will catch you off-guard by making risqué jokes – if you find his opinions offensive, there’s always the remote control.

  With the poor Series 17 long forgotten, even by ardent fans of the show, the opening episode of Series 18 was aired on Sunday, 29 January 2012. If this new episode offered any hint that the trio were past their prime, that the format was looking a bit tired as some critics suggested or that the viewer was getting bored, then this would surely be the nail in Top Gear’s coffin. This was, after all, the sixth most complained about programme on all TV channels in 2011!

  There was an added frisson of interest because this was the ‘tenth’ anniversary of the modern format of Top Gear. The speech marks reflect the uncertainty of that actual celebration, a fact pointed out by none other than producer Andy Wilman, who revealed in The Sunday Times that ‘one thing that Top Gear maths isn’t, is accurate.’ He explained that ordinarily this means a car with, say, 480bhp actually ends up having ‘500bhp’ on screen and any top speed in the upper reaches of 180–190mph is often given out as ‘nearly 200mph’. So, by his own admission the tenth anniversary was a date which he said ‘I can’t be sure’ of. The logic went that the first show of the new format aired in 2002, but if each year was counted up then that made 11! It was not the first time this had happened – it wasn’t until the team were working on the 105th episode that someone in the Top Gear office pointed out they’d already missed the 100th episode milestone. Whoops!

  However, to what must have been hugely annoying to the show’s many snipers, that first episode of Series 18 was an absolute classic! Unashamedly focussing on cars that only a tiny percentage of the population can afford, the trio took the entirely hypothetical premise of which supercar would you choose if you didn’t want to buy the scintillatingly beautiful new Ferrari 458. Having previously reviewed this car and its main competitors, you could almost see them sitting in the Top Gear trailer trying to think of a clever way to get another run out in these beautiful machines.

  It was a fascinating premise as the 458 was launched in 2009 to such acclaim that many motoring journalists felt it comprehensively nullified its competitors. Always keen to explore an opportunity to drive around Europe in supercars, the trio obviously felt it was their public duty to find out if this was true. Arriving in Italy with a Noble M600, a McLaren MP4-12C and a beautiful brand new Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 this was always going to be a high-octane opening show.

  In many ways, the programme was a micro
cosm of why Top Gear has proved so popular, but perhaps more to the point why it can remain popular in the future. It was almost like a check sheet of all the best points of the show – without ever feeling like the production team and presenters had been quite so prescriptive and deliberate. There was the presenter’s boyish joy at seeing and driving supercars; the jokes at each other’s expense, that school-yard gang spoken about earlier in this book; the risqué jokes about foreigners, such as the hilarious sight of Hammond trying to get so much as a ‘Hello’ out of an overweight Italian vehicle recovery man, who talked on his phone for an age before driving off without helping; more gags about the ludicrous chaos of Rome’s city driving; great challenges as they thundered their machines first around a bumpy race track at 200mph; expert driving and incisive car reviews; and genuine tension as they took to the infamously lethal Imola racing circuit to push their cars to the limit.

  This was genuine danger too, not just an on-screen dramatised version. When they took the cars to the Nardo Ring circuit to test the top speeds, there was no tomfoolery, no overacting, just sheer steering wheel-clutching adrenalin as the trio attempted to outpace each other on a race surface that was sorely lacking. Apart from one aside about Hammond not having a particularly good outcome the last time he tried to drive so fast (see Chapter 17), this was clearly very serious stuff. And let’s be honest, regardless of crash helmets and cameras, if you lose control of a road car at 200mph or more, there’s a very good chance that you will be going home in a box. There are some realities of high speed racing that even prime time TV cannot sterilise. It was all entertaining stuff. Wilman was clearly proud of that opening episode, calling it ‘proper telly’, and he’d be right. He said it was ‘special’ and it was.