Hard Break (Deadlines & Diamonds, #5)

by Morgan Kearns

  Her kisses were unrelenting, an attack to his lips, his face, his senses. Dammit, he was so hard, he might explode right there in his boxers. If he didn’t put an end to this right here, right now, he’d toss her onto her back and bury himself before they’d even thought about locking the door.

  Putting both hands on her shoulders he eased her away. The look of desire mingled with disappointment and Ian had to admit to being pretty damned satisfied. And frustrated. His entire body protested what he was about to do.

  “We need to stop,” he panted.

  “I know,” she breathed.

  “We really need to talk before we do any more of this.”

  “I know.” She climbed off him, rubbing herself against his swollen groin.

  He grunted, cursed. Whether the movement was intentional or not, Ian wasn’t sure. Either way, it didn’t matter, because it was excruciating.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He sat then stood, turning to adjust himself. Not that the tuck and smooth had anything to do with hiding. She’d have to be completely blind to miss the effect she had on him, but he could at least try to ease some of his own discomfort.

  When he turned, she was under the covers. She scooted down and brought the sheet up to her shoulder before lying down on her side, facing him.

  “Sleep well, beautiful lady.” He kissed her forehead, easing back to find her blushing.

  “You’ve never called me that before.”

  “Of course I have, just not loud enough you could hear me.” He stepped away, not trusting himself to be near her any longer. “You get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  He got all the way to the door before she said, “Ian.”

  He stopped and turned around. She’d propped herself up on an elbow. “There’s one thing you should know before you leave.”

  “What’s that?”

  She drew in a deep breath, closed her eyes. “I love you.”

  Those words, the three most powerful words in the English language, flayed him. He’d expected to have to say them first, and hearing them on her lips, muttered first, without coercion or oh geez, I gotta respond to his feelings somehow. He could slay dragons in this moment, he was sure of it.

  Wanting to kiss her, knowing it’d lead to things they might not be ready for, he put his hand on his heart, bowed his head and whispered, “I love you too,” before walking out of her bedroom, down the stairs and out into the night.

  There was no way in hell he’d sleep tonight. And—he laughed at the moon—he couldn’t be happier about the deprivation.

  Good grief. Kayla had decided six o’clock would never arrive. She’d gotten the text from Ian saying all the kids were home and safe. No lovey-dovey words. Which was fine. He’d said them.

  He loved her.

  No more doubt.

  Except for the holy crap, I’m so much older doubts she wasn’t sure she’d ever kick. Ten years was a long time. She was in fifth grade he was born. And he was finishing kindergarten when she was graduating high school. That made her shudder. The ew! factor when she put it in those terms was enough to have her searching for the nearest garbage can.

  She couldn’t allow herself to think of it. Obviously Ian wasn’t. Or maybe he just hadn’t.

  What if he woke up one day and decided she was too old, decided he needed a younger model? Like Denali.

  Bringing her palm to her forehead, she gave herself a good hard knock. She needed to not be such an idiot. If she’d learned one thing from Leon’s death, she needed to live for today, because tomorrow may never come. And she wouldn’t go another day without telling Ian McCallister how much she loved him.

  They had a date. Tonight. And she planned to take control of the situation. No more pussy-footing around. She’d take the bull by the horns and officially give her heart to the man who held it in his strong palms.

  Finally the big hand topped out at the twelve while the small one pointed to the six. She forwarded the phones to the answering service and gathered her things. Rushing to her car, she turned the radio up to avoid the unavoidable. She needed to stay out of her own head. She’d analyzed and over analyzed the situation all day. She’d even jotted down notes about what she wanted to say.

  Some things needed to be said right the first time. Just blurting I love you out while the guy was trying to run from the bedroom wasn’t exactly at the top of her list. But she couldn’t let him leave last night without hearing what’d been on the end of her tongue all evening.

  And hey, he’d said it back.

  She sang along to the radio, watched the morons who couldn’t follow the giant green directional signs. Did they really not see that they needed to exit until thirty feet before said exit? People never ceased to amaze her.

  When her exit came, she exited the freeway—from the right lane, thank you very much—then it was a few miles, a couple turns and voila! she was home.

  Pulling into the garage, she hoped tonight would follow last night’s routine. She was a little too excited to play maid, chef and tutor. She most certainly didn’t expect what she found when she opened the kitchen door.

  The room was in near darkness and virtual silence. She dropped her bag to the floor. The closing door banged much louder than normal. She stepped forward, surprised to see Ian step out from the shadows.

  “Welcome home.”

  She giggled, sounding much like Sadie. “What’s going on?”

  “We have a date.”

  “I thought it’d be after the kids went to bed.”

  “I know.” He walked up until he stood in front of her in his black slacks and white button-down. “I wanted to catch you off guard.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugged, taking her hand. “Call me spontaneous.”

  “That’s not a very sexy nickname, but whatever floats your boat.”

  “Ha. You’re a funny girl.” He guided her over to the table, pulling her chair out and holding it while she sat.

  “Where are the kids?”

  “Upstairs.”

  She shot a glance at the ceiling. “Will they be joining us?”

  He grinned. “Not a chance.”

  “What’d you do, bribe them?”

  He laughed. “A little pizza, payment and the promise of ice cream goes a very long way.”

  “You’re paying my children to leave us alone?” She didn’t know whether to be mortified or proud.

  “We’ve got some very important things to discuss tonight. We need a little privacy.” He shrugged. “So, yeah, I’m paying the kids to leave us alone.”

  She noticed he said ‘the’ instead of referring to the kids as hers. She kinda liked that, although she wasn’t quite sure why the distinction mattered. The kids were hers.

  The bribing clarified and settled, he went over to the counter, picked up three large take-out containers. Bringing them over, he slid it all between the two place settings.

  “Hot dogs again?”

  He lifted the lids. “Buca di Beppo.”

  There were her favorites: chicken spinach salad, chicken parmigiana, and chocolate chip cannoli. Her mouth started to water. “Are you trying to spoil me?”

  He rushed to the sink, returning with a bottle of wine. The thing dripped water all over the table cloth. “Nope. I’m trying to get you drunk.”

  “Awesome. Just what the kids need to see after you go home.”

  He frowned, but didn’t respond to her statement. “We’d better eat before this gets cold.”

  She spooned some of each onto her plate, although the first thing to her mouth was the cannoli.

  “Why am I not surprised?” Ian asked with a chuckle.

  “What?” she said after swallowing.

  “Penelope asked if she could have her ice cream before her dinner. It would only make sense she learned that trick by watching her mother.”

  “What can I say? She’s her mother’s daughter.” She took another bite, cream rushed into her
mouth and she moaned, letting her eyes drift closed.

  Something touched the corner of her mouth and she jumped, her eyes flipping open in time to see Ian lift his finger to his mouth and lick the cream from it. Whoa, that was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen. She might just have an orgasm sitting in this chair without Ian having only barely touched her.

  Heat and desire and promises of very stimulating things burned in Ian’s brown eyes. He cleared his throat, shifted in his seat. “I think we’d better stick to eating off our own plates for now.”

  She swallowed. “I think I have to agree.”

  Nervous energy percolated around them. What the heck? She’d never been nervous around Ian. And as far as she knew, other than the episode with the panties, which she would not think about ever again, Ian hadn’t ever been nervous around her. So what’d changed?

  Yes, they’d both admitted feelings existed. But that should’ve brought them closer, made them more comfortable, right?

  Wrong.

  They quietly ate their dinner, chewing longer than necessary to keep their mouths full. At least that’s what Kayla found herself doing, and since Ian wasn’t talking her ear off, she assumed he was pulling the same stall tactic.

  Eventually though, the plates were empty, containers still somewhat full—with the exception of the cannoli. Those babies were history, and it was time to talk.

  Ian cleared the table, protesting when she stood to help. “You sit. Tonight’s all about me servicing—er, serving you.”

  “Freud would be proud.” She flashed him a saucy smile and a wink.

  He shook his head, snickering softly as he put the containers in the fridge and the plates in the sink. When he returned to the table he splashed more wine into the glasses. He took a giant swig, then added some more.

  “Dammit, I’m so nervous.”

  “Me too.” She stood as much as the table would let her and pressed her lips to his. He tasted of Italian food, wine and Ian. She could get drunk off his taste. Later. Right now, she needed to lay her cards on the table.

  Sitting, she took his hand. She could do this. She could do this. I can do this. She moved her thumb over his fingers. His pulse beat a hard heavy cadence she could feel in his wrist, a cadence matching her own heart.

  “Thank you.”

  By the huh, what? on his face, those weren’t the words he expected. “For what?”

  “For everything.”

  “It’s no big deal, Kay, that’s what friends are for.”

  It shouldn’t be this hard to breathe. “You’re not my friend, Ian.”

  Now his breath hitched. “I’m not?”

  “No, you are much, much more than that.”

  Answer the phone, heaven’s calling. Or was it just his angel had finally picked up the damned phone?

  For years Ian had wanted to be much, much more than that. He’d dreamed about it, when he had no right to fantasize. Now all this time, and heartache, later Kayla Black sat on the verge of becoming his.

  She tightened her hold on his hand, bringing him back down to earth. “Ian, I can’t believe how incredibly stupid I am.”

  He shook his head and brought her hand to his mouth, dropping kisses on each knuckle. “I’ll give you incredible, but you are the furthest thing from stupid.”

  “You might not agree after I say what I need to say.”

  He perked one brow in response.

  She drew a breath, held it a second and released it on a rush. “Here goes. I need to need you.”

  He grinned, every erogenous zone in his body flared to life. This was it. “And I need you to need me.”

  She laughed. “Dang, I hate that song. All this sounded so much better in my head.”

  “Let’s go with it. You need to need me, and I need you to need me.” Please, love, don’t shy away now.

  She rolled her eyes, before letting all that gorgeous blue focus on his face. “I want to want you, Ian. I do want you. I need to need you. And so I’m begging you to—”

  “Beg you?” he asked with raised brows.

  “No, well, maybe later.” Her sexy smile would have sent him to his knees had he been standing. “But right now, I’m begging you to love me.”

  With her right hand she reached for her left and removed the thick piece of gold he’d never seen her without. She placed her wedding band on the table between them, putting her hand over the top of it.

  “I don’t know when it happened, Ian. All of this surprised me probably a lot more than it’s surprising you.” She grabbed at his hand with her right one, holding on for dear life “I’m ready to move on, but only if I can move on with you. Ian, please say something. The look on your face is tellin’ me nothing. You’re completely freakin’ me out. If you’ve changed your mind, that’s okay, I guess. We’ll just chalk my diatribe up as my brush with insanity and forget all about—”

  Ian did the only thing he could to shut her up. He took her face in his hands and kissed the holy hell out of her. “Shut up, woman. I love you. I have been in love with you since that first moment when you offered me a chocolate chip cookie. It killed me for years to watch you love Leon. I’m probably killing my chances with you right now, I’m not a crazy stalker dude, or a sick opportunist. But dammit, Kay, I have been in love with you forever and it feels amazing to tell you.”

  She blinked, tilted her head to one side, then the other. “Wait a second.”

  Oh, shit.

  “You really were in love with me all this time.”

  “Yes?” He hoped beyond hope he’d not just shot himself in the foot by opening his freaking mouth.

  Instead of anger though, she erupted in laughter. “I’ll be darned.” She shook her head and put a hand to her mouth to stifle her humor. “Do you know Leon used to tease me about you having a crush on me? He used to call you my Ian. I thought he was crazy, but he saw right through you.”

  How about that for a kick in the balls? He’d never hidden anything from the guy. “Your Leon was a better man than me, love. I’d have ripped my arms off and beaten me with the bloody stumps.”

  “Nah, Leon knew I’d never stray. I loved him with everything I was.”

  His heart ached and swelled with that declaration. “You know, that complete adoration is what I loved most about you.”

  “Good, ‘cause I kinda adore you too.”

  A toilet flushed upstairs, then again, and a third time. So the movie was over.

  Kayla glanced at the ceiling. “I really should go check on them.”

  “You can if you want—” Ian paused when water turned on. “—or you can trust Chase to follow through with the plan he and I discussed.”

  “What plan?” She sounded skeptical.

  “Movie. Bathroom. Teeth brushed. He is to read the girls one story then they are to go to sleep. He is to call my cell if there are any problems.” Ian fished his Android out of his pocket and showed it free of calls. “It’s all good. All three of them know how special this night is for you and me.”

  “And they’re on board?” She shot a look at the ceiling again.

  “They’re upstairs behaving themselves, aren’t they?”

  Her features turned dreamy. “That in and of itself makes you a miracle worker.”

  “Nah, they just want to see their mama happy.” He shrugged. “And if they get to keep me around for a while, more’s the better.”

  She sipped at her wine. “More’s the better.”

  “So, here are your options: one, we can stay here on these hard wood chairs with this table between us.”

  “Or?”

  “Two, we can move to your living room and pray those three turkeys upstairs decide to stick with the plan.”

  She snickered. “Or?”

  “Or we can head over to my living room, do a little dancing and um, I don’t know, see where things go from there.”

  “And the kids?”

  “Have my number. Hell, we can take the baby monitor, then we can hear every sin
gle breath they take.”

  She laughed out loud. “I loved that song.”

  “Really? That’s where your head is right now, The Police?”

  “Hey, you’re the one who made the music reference.”

  He shook his head, blinked nice and slow, but the shit-eatin’ grin stayed plastered to his lips. “What am I going to do with you?”

  She stood. He did too. She stepped around the table and into his arms. “You better figure it out, ‘cause I’m not going anywhere.”

  Chase’s scolding came back. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Ian wondered if Kayla knew that’s how her son felt. He’d have that conversation with her, but not tonight. Tonight was all about them and finally burying the ghosts who’d shadowed her for far too long.

  Twenty-One

  Kayla, with the baby monitor in one hand and Ian’s huge palm around the other, stepped into his home. She couldn’t say she’d been inside before. At least not past the entryway. But everything seemed familiar. The floor plan, of course, since it was a mirror of hers. But it was all Ian, masculine to the hilt. Nothing feminine about anything under this roof.

  Nervousness tickled at the base of her skull, for more reasons than just being in Ian’s house. She flicked the baby monitor on, checking to make sure it worked.

  “…handsome like P’ince Cha’ming,” Penelope was saying.

  “Uh-huh, with muscles like the Beast,” Sadie said.

  “Maybe Ian give Mom glass s’ippers?”

  “A flying carpet would be better.”

  The little girls went on and Kayla laughed. “At least they didn’t compare you to Shrek.”

  “Not funny.” He took his phone out of his pocket and swiped his finger across the screen.

  “Who are you—”

  Her question was answered when the ring echoed through the baby monitor. Chase answered, and Ian said, “Let me talk to the girls.”

  Kayla could hear both sides of the conversation.

  “Ian wants to talk to you guys,” Chase informed the little girls.

  “Hello?” Sadie said timidly.

  “Are you two talking about me?”