Always You: Prequel to Falling for Mr Wrong

by Joanne Dannon

  He pointed to the mountains behind them. “Watch how their colour changes as the sun hits them.”

  Her mouth opened but there were no words to describe the incredible way the desert shifted the light and shadows around them. Not even bothering to take photos, she took in the wonderment and spectacular beauty around her. “Thanks for this, it’s breathtaking.”

  They remained sitting on the rocky ledge, with the other tourists watching the incredible display of Mother Nature until the sky turned to blue and she could see across the Dead Sea to neighbouring Jordan.

  Inching closer to her, he leaned towards her. “I brought you here so we can reaffirm our commitment to each other. This is a new beginning for us both.”

  Tears of happiness welled in her eyes. “Thank you for organising this, despite my sore bottom and legs. I’m so glad to be here with you.”

  His fingers massaged the pulse point on her wrist. “We’re starting again, just like the rising of the sun each day. We may have a past but I want us to focus on our new beginnings.”

  With her heart close to bursting with joy, she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “I’m so lucky to have you. I can’t believe I almost lost you.”

  “You did lose me, Bea, you did,” he said in a low voice. “But I’m here now.”

  Concern settled itself heavily on her shoulders. She’d been given another chance with Ash and she made a commitment to herself that she would be more careful not to destroy the magical bond between them.

  From the rucksack, Ash retrieved a thermos and cups. “Coffee?”

  “Yes please,” she said with enthusiasm.

  They sipped their coffee and nibbled on granola bars, watching the view.

  “Are you feeling okay?” he asked, concern flickered across his eyes.

  “I’m sore, tired and sweaty, but I’ve never been as happy as I am with you here today.” She paused. “You’ve given me the gift of trust.” She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

  “I know you won’t let me down. You’ve changed and I love the new Bea,” he said before lifting her hand and kissing each knuckle.

  They spent time walking around the historical site before catching the cable car down to ground level. “It was much easier coming down than walking up.”

  He brushed his lips against hers. “I’ve hiked up and down here many times but today, with you, was very special.”

  They held hands on the way down, and she admired the openness of the desert, the mesmerising blue of the Dead Sea and the scenic view of dry mountains around them. Down below, she browsed the gift shops and bought some beauty products that had been made with the salt and products from the Dead Sea. The smell was heavenly and she knew that each time she applied the moisturisers to her skin she’d be transported back to today when Ash had created a perfect date for them.

  He eyed the large bag of products she’d bought. “Ready to go?”

  “Yes,” she said. “I hope we’re going back to the hotel?”

  “How about breakfast and then a nap? I could use a rest since I didn’t get much sleep last night,” he said with a cheeky grin.

  “Sounds perfect,” she returned his grin.

  The day passed, full of bliss and wonderment. After breakfast, they returned to Bea’s room, flipped the “Do Not Disturb” switch on and headed to bed where they spent hours sleeping, cuddling and making love.

  After ordering room service, they sat across from each other to enjoy an early dinner.

  He gave her a quizzical look, seeing her plate still full. “You’re not eating much.”

  “I know, I just can’t. I’m just bursting with so much happiness that I can’t seem to sit still and eat. I don’t have any appetite.”

  “Don’t forget to drink water,” he instructed.

  She saluted him. “Yes, sir.”

  Ash finished eating and ate her dessert as well as his own before leaning back in his seat. “I have to be honest that I was worried about living here in Israel, wondering if I would like it.”

  “And do you?” She was interested in why he was working here, having expected him to work in a prestigious hotel in a European country, rather than in the Middle East.

  A large smile stretched across his face and she could see genuine happiness in the sparkle of his eyes. “I love it. It’s so different from England and I’ve enjoyed the warmer weather and being able to explore all these ancient lands.”

  “It’s very different from London,” she agreed. To her, England was home and she couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. She loved everything about the city, its beauty, the business, the bustling.

  “We need to talk about us,” he said, taking her hand in his. “I took this job because I wanted something different. I’ve worked throughout Europe but coming here has been great. This assignment was far from home but I liked it because there was nothing here that would remind me of you.” His gaze met hers and she noted pain in the depths of his blue eyes.

  “I came here hurt and angry. Something about being in a warm environment and being able to spend long hours outside hiking, touring and swimming, has changed me. You talked about change, and I have, too. But it’s been less dramatic than yours.” He rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands.

  “I’ve moved out from under the shadow of my family and it’s been empowering. I’m fitter, healthier and happier than I have been in a long time. You being here has made it even better.”

  A serious look crossed his eyes before he leaned back against his chair. Her gut flip-flopped in anticipation of him saying something she wasn’t going to like.

  The skin tightened around his jaw and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Before you came to Israel, I’d committed to two hotels and agreed to stay here for at least eighteen months.”

  “What?” Her tummy twisted into a knot of disappointment. If he remained here, then she’d have to move here. As much as she liked the country, she liked it as a visitor, not as a resident. “I don’t want to live in the desert. What about my job and my friends?”

  He reached for her but she pushed her chair back from the table, her arms crossed against her chest tightly. “I thought you said you were going to be here short-term. Why can’t your next job be in London?”

  His eyes darkened. “One year ago, you left me and I assumed that I was never going to see you again. I created a life for myself and then you came back into it when I least expected it.” He paused. “Once my current contract finishes, I’m moving to northern Israel, in the Galilee and thereafter to Jerusalem. I made these plans before I knew you were going to be in my life. I chose to stay here because it was easier to extend my work visa than to relocate to a new country.”

  Her heart hammered against her chest. “But I don’t want to live here. What about my job, my friends, my life in London?”

  “You’re better off here than in London,” he said with a dismissive wave.

  Anger ripped into her belly at his flippant words. Where was the guy who’d showered her with amazing dates and loved her body over the past few days? The thought of moving here made her heart trip over itself. “I can’t just come here,” she fired at him. “What would I do?”

  “We’ll work it out,” he replied before leaning across the table to look at her. “I know you like your job, but you’ll find something else. I’ve given you a second chance and committed to you. But now you need to commit to me. You need to come here”—he pointed to the table—“and live with me.”

  She shook her head, reluctant to be the one who did all the compromise. “Can’t we just travel between here and London?”

  His eyes narrowed. “No, we’re not going to have an inter-country relationship. I want to see you every night when I come home.”

  “You want me to be an obedient puppy? Should I make dinner and sit and wait like some housewife from the 1950s?”

  “Don’t be flippant,” he snapped at her. “I want to be with you and I can’t do that if you’re
living in bloody London.” He drew in a deep breath. “I want you to live here with me.”

  “Or else what?”

  “There is no or else,” he said in a low voice.

  Her belly rolled in shock. “You’re telling me that I leave my job and new friends behind to come here?”

  “For us to be together, we need to be together. I don’t want you living in London,” he added in a calm, steady voice.

  Frustration made her blood whoosh through her veins. “You can move, you choose not to.”

  “I’ve got commitments,” he remarked.

  She stood. “I don’t want to live here. I need to be with my new friends who have supported me over the past few months.”

  Disappointment crossed his face. “It’s either me or your friends. You can’t have both. You need to decide who you want more,” he said.

  “You’re being unreasonable.” She stamped her foot to the ground.

  Frustration created deep creases along his forehead. “I have two great jobs which will pay well, and I’ve signed a contract. I can’t just tell them I’m no longer interested.”

  “Can’t you get out of the Jerusalem one? I’ll wait for you at home, while you’re in Galilee.” That was a compromise, she reasoned with herself. It could work. She’d visit him and spend weekends here, but at least she’d be living in London.

  His face whitened and his hands fisted into balls. “I gave you my heart, my trust and my faith in you. Has this all been a joke to you?” He stood and strode over to where his clothes were, and he started to dress. “A year ago you rejected me and now you’re doing it again. I believed in you, but you’ve broken me, yet again. Thank you. I should’ve guessed that you would never commit to me. You can’t have it all your way.” Sitting on the bed, he put on his runners then gathered his belongings. “I wish I’d never agreed to see you. I should’ve known you’d hurt me again.” He paused. “You’re very good at it,” he said in a low voice. He walked towards the door.

  “Ash, stop,” she cried out.

  “I can’t and won’t do this again,” he bowed his head and shook it. “Good bye Bea. Don’t ever call me. I never want to see you again,” he said before walking out the door and closing it with a final click.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Bea’s legs gave way and she collapsed onto the carpeted floor, her heart literally aching with pain.

  How had this happened? Until an hour ago, they’d both had love and stars in their eyes, spending the day together in a haze of blissful lovemaking. And now he’d left her. Rubbing her eyes, she wondered how everything had gone bad so quickly.

  It wasn’t unreasonable of her to want to stay in London. Over the past few months, she’d spent so much time and energy to recreate herself. Not only had she stopped drinking and using drugs, but she’d developed a new bond with her foster parents. Plus, she needed her LifeWorks’ friends to keep her balanced, so there was no way she could slip back to her party ways. It’d only been a few months since she’d turned her life around and a niggle of fear wormed its way into her belly. Would moving away from them risk her sliding back to depravity or was she strong enough to do it on her own? She scratched her head because she didn’t know.

  What would she do here? No friends, no job, no nothing.

  Ash had a job, friends and a lifestyle that she couldn’t fit into. How could she simply uproot herself to live here, especially after everything she’d been through over the past year? Such a massive change was scary and intimidating.

  She buried her head in her hands and cried. Cried for the loss of Ash and the potential of their new life together. When she’d come to Israel, she’d never expected that he would want to live here and not in England. He was close to his family, loved them and she’d incorrectly assumed he’d be delighted to return to London. She hadn’t anticipated the changes he’d gone through over the past year. It had always been about her. When had it been about him? Her heart sank with the realisation that she’d been expecting him to do what she wanted. She’d never expected that he would want to stay here.

  She rubbed her eyes, blew her nose before getting up to wash her face in the bathroom. After making herself a cup of camomile tea, she checked the time in London and then rang Amelia. Amelia would know what to do.

  “How’s Israel? How did you go with Ash?” Amelia didn’t bother with pleasantries, knowing why she’d come to Israel.

  “Not so good,” she sighed before filling her friend in on the past few days.

  There was silence at the end of the phone and Bea wondered if her friend was still there. Perhaps the line had been disconnected. “Amelia?”

  “I’m here,” she said in a low voice.

  “I don’t know what to do,” Bea said with a sigh. “He’s not leaving here and I was hoping to commute, so I don’t have to give up my job or LifeWorks.”

  “You came to LifeWorks so you could capitalise on our commitment to all people being able to have success, fulfilment and greatness. Not only did you go through rehab but you did all our follow up courses because you wanted to produce amazing results and enhance the quality of who you are.

  “Ash is a decent, honourable man who’s hard-working, good looking and caring. You need to compromise.” She cleared her throat. “Before you left, you were determined to win back Ash. What did you expect after you broke his heart, he’d happily go along with everything that you wanted? What about him?”

  Silence stretched between them, and Bea reflected on her friend’s words.

  “Are you still there?”

  “I am,” Bea said. “What do I do?”

  “I can’t tell you what to do. You need to work it out for yourself. I will ask you to remind yourself why you came to me, asking for help. Think back to all those months ago and reflect on what your expectations were for yourself and why.”

  “I don’t trust myself to make the right decision,” she said, her head hurting as much as her heart.

  “I believe in you. I’ve seen you come from such a low point and become a wonderful, dynamic woman. You chose to make a permanent and positive difference to your life. You wanted a great relationship with your family and the confidence to say no to frivolous fun and yes to a greater enjoyment of life.” She paused. “I don’t know how far Tel Aviv is from where you are, but we have a base there. All the seminars, courses and networks that are in London are also there.”

  “Really?” Bea said as surprise made her eyes widen.

  “Yes, it’s all there,” Amelia reassured her.

  “I could help out, like I did in London.” Excitement in her tummy was as bubbly as champagne.

  “It’s exactly the same. You know that, we’re all over the world.”

  “I just never thought about it being here.” Bea rubbed her forehead to ease the ache in her temples.

  “You’re in a resort location. We’re based in major cities, that’s why we’re in Tel Aviv.” She paused. “I know I said I wouldn’t tell you what to do, but you should go after Ash.”

  “He never wants to speak to me again,” she said despondently.

  “Go after him. You’re so lucky to have a bloke like him. He loves you.”

  “How do you know that?” A flicker of hope lit up inside of her.

  “He took you back after you crushed his heart a year ago. Only someone in love would do that. You’re lucky, don’t miss out on the chance of having a wonderful life with him. And remember, you won’t be living there forever. His job means he’ll move around. Don’t focus on the now, look to the future.”

  Bea’s heart lifted at the positive words and the possibility of working things through with Ash. She could do it, she reassured herself. And she would. “I’m going after my man. Thanks for everything,” she said before disconnecting the call.

  This time, she would compromise better because there was no way she wanted to live her life without Ash.

  Dressing quickly, she realised that she didn’t know where Ash was, apart from living i
n Arad. Dialling concierge, she organised a car to drive her there. Grabbing her purse, mobile phone and essentials, she left her room, making her way to the lobby. Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long for the ride, and watched from the car window the sky change colour as the blue day sky slipped away to be replaced by an inky black.

  An hour later she was walking in Arad and frustration stabbed at her belly. The city was a lot bigger than she expected. What did she think? She could just walk into a town and find him?

  She knew she could call him on his mobile phone but her pride wouldn’t let her. . .just yet. Besides, he probably wouldn’t answer her call. First she’d try walking around, then she’d ring.

  Two hours later, admitting defeat, she realised it was time to try ringing him but before she could reach her phone, she suddenly felt tired and nauseous. Her legs gave way and she felt herself fall, crumpling to the floor. The skin on her hands scraped the cement and her head went forward bouncing off her arm, and fortunately not the public footpath.

  A young man rushed over, squatting beside her and spoke to her in rapid Hebrew. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” she said. Her head spun around and she was close to vomiting on his shoes.

  “You’re not well,” he said in heavily accented English.

  She closed her eyes, the fatigue weighed down on her, like a thick woollen blanket. The desire to go to sleep and not wake up was too tempting and she allowed her heavy lids to close.

  Her rescuer yelled out at her, shaking her shoulders, and she opened her eyes not understanding his words.

  “You’re very hot. Drink this,” he said, lifting a bottle of water to her lips.

  She drank some and tried to gulp down more.

  “Just a little,” he instructed. “My friend has a car, we’ll take you to a doctor.”