by Autumn Brown
I was suddenly anxious to leave. I said goodbye to Spencer telling him that I needed to run help my dad with the calves. I wasn’t sure if he bought it or not. Daddy would have fed the calves by now by himself or conned one of my sisters into it.
Spencer POV.
Taylor left in a hurry. I was sure it had nothing to do with my face. For the first time in my life, I had a girl who looked at me instead of my face. Maybe she was embarrassed about what happened on my bed. I was embarrassed about what happened on my bed. Besides coming too soon, I told her that I loved her. She’d said that she loved me too. I wasn’t sure if it was just a reflex reaction though.
I stood in front of the mirror with my aunt and uncle looking at my face. It looked terrible. But as terrible as it looked, my main concern was Taylor. She’d kissed me the other day when I was totally bandaged. And, today she’d practically had sex with me, even though my face looked like this. I was so in love with that girl. But what kind of guy falls in love with his first girlfriend? Maybe guys who were seventeen and never kissed a girl before. The other day I was kissing my first girl, and today I was almost having sex with my first girl.
Not just any girl. Taylor. The most perfect girl to ever walk this earth. I’d seen her last year on my first day of school. She was nervous, trying out for the cheerleading squad. She was doing flips in the air. She was so tiny, and so agile. She was spunky too. I’ll never forget how my chest hurt when I saw her kiss Jose. Jose! The jerk who was flirting with another girl not an hour before. And, he was grabbing that girl’s ass. I wanted to tell the prettiest girl that I’d ever seen about her cheating boyfriend, but I couldn’t break her heart like that.
Janel patted me on the back and walked out. She was my favorite aunt before my parents died. I’d always loved spending a month in the summer with her and my uncle Todd. They were always so much fun. My uncle Todd patted me on the back too. Something was up. Did they know? How could they know?
Todd sat on the bed behind me. Yes, something was up.
I turned toward him. “What’s up, Todd? Am I in trouble for something?” I asked him.
“No. Not trouble. But I do need to talk to you.” he said. His tone was very matter of fact.
And, Janel had left the room, so it was something for guys only. I sat on the bed next to him. I waited.
“You’ve been like a son to me since you came to live with us. I’ve thought of you like a son anyway.” He stopped.
He always took too long to get to the point. He was killing me. “What did I do?” I asked him.
“Taylor is your first girlfriend. Well, I assume she’s your girlfriend. She’s been coming over a lot, and you two have been spending a lot of time together.”
“She’s my girlfriend.” I said, simply to speed up the process. Was this going to be another sex talk?
“You’re probably thinking about sex right about now with her. I can’t tell you what to do concerning sex, but …” he stopped again.
This was too hard for him. I had to step in. “Todd. I won’t have sex in your house. I have too much respect for you and Aunt Janel. You two took me in when I needed a home. I won’t forget that. I would never disrespect you by sneaking around like that.”
“You were always so mature for your age. But that’s not what I was going to say. I wanted to know if you needed any advice. And, I also wanted to remind you that birth control is first and foremost. Girls’ daddies bring shotguns to weddings around here.”
“What?” I asked him. Was he losing it?
“Don’t get her pregnant.” He spelled it out for me. “Condoms, and pull out.”
“Got it.” I assured him. I knew he didn’t enjoy talking about sex with me, but he’d never been quite this apprehensive about it before. Maybe he thought we were already having sex. “We’re not having sex.”
“Oh. Thank God!” he let out a sigh of relief with that.
“But it’s coming soon.” I added.
I watched his face tighten again. “So, you’ve talked about sex?” he asked.
“Yes we’ve talked.”
“So, you really like this girl? You’re not just having sex with her to be having sex with someone? Just because a girl has sex with you doesn’t mean that she loves you. She’s probably had sex a few times already. I know Zane thinks she hasn’t, but I’m not so sure.”
“I really like this girl. And, she’s a virgin. She hasn’t had sex with anyone yet.”
His eyes shot open wide with shock. Did he think she was a slut? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want him thinking that.
“Are you ready for that?” he asked me.
“I’m ready.” I assured him.
“She’s a virgin.” He stated.
“So am I.” I reminded him. Had he forgotten already?
“Sex with a virgin is a whole different story, Spencer.” he explained.
I didn’t get it. I mean, I thought I knew the mechanics of it. Wasn’t it the same with any girl? I gave him a look. I didn’t understand what he was talking about.
“Let me see if I can explain without getting too graphic. A virgin isn’t exactly ready to have sex in the physical sense…” he stopped again.
I looked at him. What the heck was he talking about?
“The first time a girl has sex, it hurts her, Spencer.” he said as if he were letting the cat out of the bag.
“I don’t want to hurt her, Uncle Todd.”
“Your only other choice is let someone else pop her…” Todd said quickly then stopped as if he’d said it without thinking it through, then embarrassed himself.
Someone else? No way in hell! I’d heard that term before. Guys bragged in the locker room about popping cherries. I never completely understood the term and didn’t realize it was only a term for virgins until now. “What’s a cherry? And, how can I not hurt her?” I almost begged my uncle for advice.
“It’s going to hurt her. That can’t be helped. When you go in, inside her, you’ll feel something. It’ll stop you from going all the way in. Tell her to take a deep breath, and when she lets it out, go in hard and deep. All at once is way better, trust me. Then wait on her to stop crying or screaming before you start moving again.”
“Screaming?” I asked him. Okay, now I was terrified of sex. Thank God we didn’t actually have sex tonight. I would have died if I would have hurt her tonight.
“It hurts, and take a towel. It’s bloody.”
My eyes opened wide. Holy shit! Blood? Damn! Was I ready for this? Somehow he’d made sex sound like not such a good deal after all. I thought it was going to be all fun and beautiful, like it was tonight. I wasn’t sure I could handle this. Blood and pain? “I’m really glad we had this talk, Uncle Todd.” I said sarcastically.
“It’s something I wish my father would have told me before I had sex with a virgin the first time. It scared me to death.”
“Thanks, Uncle Todd. I really do appreciate you telling me all of this.” I changed my tone.
“Can I throw in a couple more things? Since I’ve got you here and already thoroughly embarrassed myself.” He asked, then continued. “About condoms. Buy the right size. Not too tight, and not too loose. And if I had it to do over again, I’d practice putting one on before I did it in front of a girl. I looked like an idiot with it shooting across the room three times, and chasing it down, before I got it on. It was my only one. So, take several, just in case.”
I laughed at him. It probably wasn’t too nice of me, considering he was sharing a pretty embarrassing personal moment with me.
He laughed too. “And, good luck. She seems like a great girl.”
“She really is. I don’t know why she’s even interested in me, but I’m really glad that she is.” I confided in him.
“You’re a great guy. That’s why.” Todd tried to build me up.
I needed that sometimes. I’ve always been shy and not too confident because of my face. Not too many girls overlooked my face. There have been a few over the y
ears to become friends, but Taylor was the first one to actually want to have a relationship with me. That day was the happiest day of my life, until the other day. No wait, until today.
Todd left. Janel came in about twenty minutes later. I was lying on the bed thinking about Taylor. I thought about her a lot lately.
“Spencer?” she said as she walked in. I knew that she knew from the tone of her voice. I was sure Todd would tell her everything we’d talked about. I don’t think they kept secrets from each other. What was coming up next?
“Yes?” I asked her.
“Just be careful.” She said.
“We will be very careful.” I assured her. “At all times.”
“I don’t mean just birth control. I mean with your heart. The first time you have sex, you always think you’re in love. And, the possibility of finding your soul mate at seventeen…well it’s not exactly a possibility if it never happens.”
I hated hearing her say that. I was in love with Taylor and I hated hearing her say that I couldn’t be. “How old were you?”
“When I had sex? Nineteen. When I fell in love? Twenty one.” She answered me.
I didn’t expect her to be quite that honest. “So it wasn’t Uncle Todd?”
“Sex? No. Love? Yes.” She laughed at herself. “She is a great girl. But you’re one hell of a guy, Spencer. You’re perfect, just like she said tonight. I love you, Spencer.”
“I love you too, Aunt Janel.”
She kissed me on the forehead and walked out of my room. Damn that was a heavy load to think about. Talk about intense. I had a lot to think about. Sex and love. I knew I was in love. I wasn’t so sure about sex any more. But who would pass up a chance to be with Taylor? Only an idiot would do that. In fact, I knew several guys on the team that would kill for the chance. My best friend Zane was one of them. He told me he wasn’t in love with her, but I’ve known him since last year, and I knew he was. I didn’t feel like I was betraying him though, because he set us up so to speak.
I changed and went to bed, thinking about Taylor. Her incredible body, her beautiful smile, her long beautiful hair, her electric blue eyes, her great tits, her tight ass, her perfect legs. Damn I was a lucky guy. So damn lucky.
Taylor POV.
Oh my god. What had I agreed to? Sex? Oh my god. I told Spencer that I wanted to have sex with him. He didn’t even ask me. I asked him. How could I be such a slut? Good girls didn’t tell guys they wanted sex, only bad girls did that. I suddenly felt so ashamed of myself. I wanted to ask my mother about sex, but I’d never been able to talk to her about sex. She made me feel dirty for even thinking about guys.
A few mornings later, Sandy and I walked in to the school together. We were walking toward Senior Pole when I noticed that several people were following us from a distance. Sandy noticed it too. She gave me a funny look.
“I wonder what this is about.” I asked her.
She shrugged her shoulders and gave me a questioning look. “Do you think Vicky is waiting for you?”
“Oh crap!” I said. “I hope not. I’ll get at least three days this time.”
Damn. That had to be the reason people were following us. They were getting ready for blood.
As we walked up to Senior Pole, I didn’t see Vicky anywhere. I looked next to Zane and saw Spencer.
I smiled really big. He didn’t tell me he was going to make it back to school today. I wondered why he didn’t tell me. His face looked better, but still very bad. It was really scabbed and a little bloody still, but the swelling was almost gone. Almost. I looked around and saw that everyone was still hovering. Why?
I reached Spencer, and everyone in the group turned toward me, as if waiting on my reaction. What the heck? I stood up on my tip toes and kissed Spencer really good. He placed his hand on my waist and pulled me closer. “You didn’t tell me you were coming back today.”
“I wanted to surprise you.” he said with a smile. He was really happy for some reason.
“You look good.” I said to him as I touched his face.
“It’s healing.” He said nonchalantly.
I could tell he didn’t like all of the attention. The crowd was dispersing now for some reason. I looked at Sandy. She shrugged her shoulders.
“Can I walk you to your History class?” Spencer asked me.
“Sure.” I said, then took his hand that he was holding out for me.
“Thanks for not running.” He said to me as we neared my History class. He was in an incredibly good mood.
“Running?” I asked him. What was he talking about?
“The guys thought you’d run when you saw me this morning.” he confided in me.
“Then the guys don’t know me too well. Besides, I’ve already seen your face. It looks better than it looked last night.”
“I’ll see you after class.” He said to me, then kissed me on the lips.
Zane sat next to me in History class. He put his cast up on his desk. He said his foot swelled if he didn’t prop it up. We talked some before class started. Coach Snideman was almost always late.
“You and Spencer seem to be getting along really well.” Zane said to me.
I nodded with a smile to him. “I like him more than I’ve ever liked anyone.”
Zane nodded with a smile. “I can tell.”
I could tell that it kind of hurt his feelings. He was my best male friend, but I knew that he wanted more sometimes. It just didn’t work for us. We were meant to be friends.
At lunch, Sandy ditched me. She always ditched me when I had a boyfriend. She didn’t want to be the third wheel. Spencer and I drove to the department store parking lot instead of eating lunch. I wanted to be alone with him. It was where all the kids with cars went to make out during lunch. I’d been here several times with Jose, Dwayne, Dale, and Jim. Even once with Zane.
“What are we doing here?” Spencer asked as I pulled my car into a vacant spot. There weren’t many spots left.
“If I’ve got to tell you…” I teased him.
He looked around at the other cars. “Oh!” he said, as if suddenly realizing what was going on.
I parked the car. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.” He said as he pulled my hand into his. “Talk.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for sex yet.” I said the words slowly. I knew this was beyond cruel to do this to a guy. I think they even had a term for what I’d done to him.
“Then we’ll wait.” He said easily. “I was having second thoughts myself.”
“Really. Why?” I asked him. That really surprised me. A guy? Weren’t guys all gung-ho usually for sex?
“I had a talk with my uncle, and the first time isn’t really pretty or fun for the girl.”
“You talked to your uncle?” I asked. Surely he was kidding.
“He asked me if we were thinking about sex. They kind of sensed something when they came home last night. I’m sorry. I don’t lie to them.”
That I could understand. “I’ve heard that it hurts the first time.” I told him. I’d heard girls talk about it in groups for years. Sometimes it hurts really bad. I’ve heard horror stories in fact.
“Is that why you want to wait?” he asked me as he pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it.
“I don’t know. I just feel like it’s wrong somehow.” I confided in him.
“We’ll wait then.” He told me.
It was the first time that had happened to me. Usually I heard the word goodbye right after that. And, I was being even worse to Spencer than I had been to my other boyfriends. I didn’t tease them, telling them that I wanted it, then back out on them. He was being so nice to me. I reached over the console and kissed him. I loved kissing him. Too much. I loved it so much that I wanted more.
He continued kissing me. We made out for several minutes, then I felt his tongue enter my mouth. He was learning too fast. He was incredibly good at kissing. He was making me melt, and it wasn’t just that it was ov
er ninety degrees outside. I started my car to cool us off some. It helped but I don’t think the heat was coming from outside. Spencer pulled me over the console to his lap. He never took his lips off of me. He had his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
I loved being close to him. I wanted to stay right here forever. No I wanted to be even closer to him. Oh my god. I think I wanted to have sex with him. Is that what I wanted? I wasn’t sure, but I wanted more. My heart pounded in my chest. I felt like I was about to get on a roller coaster ride at the state fair. None of my other boyfriends had affected me quite this way. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. Spencer continued kissing me, never letting his hands roam once. The one guy that I actually wanted to touch me and he doesn’t.