Trembling

by V. J. Chambers

  Abandoning the search, I tried another query. Was the bell related? I searched for "invocation bell."

  I hit a few unrelated websites at first. One was actually for a role-playing game which instructed the player to "ring the bell of invocation" and descend into the pit of Moloch or something. There was another that was a news item about a Lions Club meeting.

  Then I found a website entitled, "The Beast: Satanic Rituals and Spells." It took me to a site within the larger site that was headed, "Invocations to Satan." There was a description of something very similar to the first invocation I'd been part of, instructing the performer of the invocation to drink from a sacred chalice and chant in Latin. Beneath that, there was another ritual.

  "If the first invocation fails, or if the desired object of the spirit of the demon is an unwilling participant (though this kind of magic is highly dangerous and not encouraged by the creators of this website), try this instead. Gather several large candles, a chalice consecrated to the demon in question, a bell, and an object that will symbolize the demon himself (or herself.) This object should be something that embodies or symbolizes the spirit of the entity you intend to invoke. For example, if you are invoking Lilith, a sexually charged item or talons of some kind might work well.

  "This object needs to be anointed with some kind of body fluid from the person hoping to be filled with the spirit of the demon. Blood, semen, and/or vaginal fluid are the most effective, but saliva or sweat will work as well. Ring the bell to focus the demon on the spot you wish him to concentrate on."

  The website went on to describe the various chants and spells one had to say over the person who was invoking the demon. It all sounded pretty gross to me. However, it was proof that someone might use a bell to invoke Azazel. And that the Satanists might have put the bell in my bag as a warning or something.

  Mr. Sutherland had said that someone close to me had completed an invocation, and, when I'd elbowed him in the ribs, he'd grunted, "Maybe you are imbued with the spirit of a demon."

  Someone had already performed this ritual on me. Who was close to me? Who had ties to the Satanists? Who'd shown up just before the bell did?

  There was only one person who fit the answer to all those questions.

  Lilith.

  And she slept in my house, for God's sake. She could have come into my room as I slept, performed the ritual over me, and then placed the bell she'd used in my purse.

  And it made sense that she was trying to seduce Jason. The Satanists wanted me to kill Jason. Perhaps they thought that if Jason slept with Lilith, I'd be so angry with him that I'd destroy him.

  Augh. I couldn't believe I'd allowed Lilith into my house with her stupid story about wanting to get away from the Satanists. She didn't want to get away from the Satanists at all. Instead, she was working for them! And Jason had told her it was okay to sleep in our house tonight! I couldn't believe that. I had to get away from her. I had to get her away from Jason. Who knew what kind of damage she'd already inflicted?

  I needed to call Jason. Tell him what I'd figured out. But no. I couldn't call Jason. I didn't have a phone. Hallam had a phone, but I didn't know where Hallam was. I guessed I should tell Hallam too. Maybe he'd know how to help. Or what to do.

  I thought about Hallam and Jason earlier. Hallam screaming at Jason. Hallam demanding to know what Jason had done with Mr. Sutherland's body. Hallam was angry at both of us. Who knew if he was even on our side anymore? Should I wait for Hallam to come back?

  No. I should just go to Jason. But I didn't have a car. Hallam had the car. Jason and Lilith had caught a ride with a co-worker. It wasn't too far to walk, but it was dark outside, and after what had happened over the last few days, I didn't feel quite comfortable walking around in the dark.

  How was I going to get there?

  Well. I could ask Jude for a ride.

  Of course, I didn't think that would make Jason particularly happy. And it wasn't smart to get Jude anymore involved in this mess than he already was. Still. We had to stop Lilith.

  I signed onto AOL instant messenger. With my luck, Jude wouldn’t even be online. It was a Friday night, and he probably had something exciting to do, like a party or something. If he wasn't, it was a sign, I told myself. I'd just wait for Hallam to come home. Or for Jason and Lilith. I'd get Jason alone and tell him what I'd figured out. He'd believe me. He'd have to. Wouldn't he?

  But Jude was online.

  He messaged me immediately. "u didnt come to school today. u okay?"

  "Fine," I typed. "Can you come pick me up?"

  He could. He would. As I signed off, I mused over his AOL handle. It was weird, because I couldn't figure out why he'd picked it. It wasn't his name, like mine was. Of course, Jude was a much more common name than Azazel. Maybe he wanted something more original. Still. His handle wasn't that original. It reminded me of something. I couldn't remember what, but I knew I'd heard it somewhere. Like a last name or something?

  Where had I heard the name Aird?

  * * *

  "You're kidding," Jude gasped. "She said somebody needed to show him and then it was quiet?"

  "Yeah," I said. "And Jason has the nerve to be jealous of me and act like it's my fault."

  Jude was pulling into the driveway of the restaurant where Lilith and Jason worked. He shook his head as if he couldn't believe it. "So the two of you had another fight then?"

  "I guess so."

  "Girl, is it just me, or are the two of you arguing a lot lately?"

  "It's Lilith!" I said. "She's ruining everything. I just want to get rid of her."

  "So that's why we're going to Jason's work? So you can confront him about Lilith?"

  I couldn't explain to Jude why exactly I was going, so I guessed his interpretation worked as well as any other. "Yeah."

  Jude parked the car in the parking lot and turned it off.

  "Thanks for driving me," I said. "I know I must not seem like the safest person to be around lately."

  Jude shrugged. "I got your back, Azazel. Really. Whatever you need to do."

  I was glad he hadn't asked any questions about Mr. Sutherland. It made everything much easier. Jude was a good friend. I didn't care what anyone thought. I was glad to have him. And there was nothing going on with him beyond that.

  "So," said Jude. "You want me to wait in the car?"

  I nodded. That would be easier. I need to talk to Jason privately. Jude might get in the way.

  "Okay," said Jude.

  "Thanks," I said. I put my hand on the door handle.

  "Azazel?" said Jude.

  I stopped and looked at him. "Yeah?"

  "If you ever feel like . . ."

  "What?" I said.

  "It's not important."

  Trailing off drove me crazy. "Tell me," I said.

  "It's just that if you feel like you have to stay with Jason because he's all you've got, I want you to know that's not true."

  "Jude—"

  "I know you think you love him. Maybe you do. But just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you two are good for each other, you know? Anyway, I just want you to know that if you ever need anything, you have me, okay?"

  I just smiled. "Thanks Jude. That means a lot. It does. But nobody else really gets Jason and me. What we have goes beyond being good or bad for each other." We're each other's oxygen. But I didn't say that out loud.

  I went up to the restaurant. The door was locked, because they were closing, so I went around back to the kitchen entrance. A few guys were outside, dumping large garbage bags into the dumpster behind the restaurant. I recognized them because I knew they worked with Jason, but I couldn't remember their names.

  "Hi," I said. "I'm looking for Jason."

  "Oh, right," said one of the guys. "You're his girlfriend, right?"

  "Right," I said.

  "Well, he already left," said the other guy.

  "He did?" I said.

  I'd missed him? I wondered what he'd think when he g
ot home, and I wasn't there.

  "Yeah," said the first guy. "He went to a party out on Cortez."

  "Right. At Rachel Kline's house," said the other guy.

  A party? Jason had gone to a party? After everything that had happened, he'd just ditched me to go off and drink?

  "Really?" I said.

  "He's been hanging out pretty close with that redhead chick," said one of the guys. "I'm pretty sure going to the party was her idea."

  "Oh my God." I shook my head, angry and hurt at the same time.

  "Sorry," said the other guy. "Tough break. For what it's worth, I think you're way hotter than that Lilith girl."

  Nice. Wonderful.

  Fuming, I went back to Jude's car. I filled him in. "They're at Rachel Kline's," I said.

  "Oh right," he said. "I totally forgot about that."

  "So did I," I said. "You asked me if I wanted to go on Sunday."

  "Seems like five years ago," said Jude. "It's been quite a week."

  "Yeah," I said. It had been.

  "So I guess we're going to Rachel's?" Jude asked.

  "I guess so," I said. I couldn't believe Jason was going to a party. Was this some way of getting back at me for going to parties without him all the time? I hadn't realized it bothered him so much.

  "Could be fun," said Jude. "It's a party, after all."

  Fun? Doubt it. And maybe I'd just been fooling myself all this time, thinking that I went out to so many parties and drank so much because I wanted to cut loose and be free. Truthfully, I thought I might just be running from everything that had happened. I didn't want to face what had happened to me. I didn't want to face who I'd become. But I wasn't a crazy party girl. I was a girl who'd fought off a serial rapist. I was a girl who'd faced down the Sons of the Rising Sun. I was girl who could load a gun and flick off the safety. I was a girl who loved a boy more than life itself. I was me. There wasn't any running from it. Not anymore. I had to be myself. Own up to it.

  But I smiled weakly. "Party time," I said.

  Jude laughed. He started the car. "You sound so enthused."

  As he pulled out of the parking lot, Jude got his phone out of his pocket. "I'm going to give a couple of the guys from work a call and tell them I'm going out to the party, okay?"

  I listened while he relayed our destination over the phone and gave directions to Rachel's house. It didn't take long to drive out to Rachel's house. It was close to town. Once there, we had trouble finding a parking space since the entire street was glutted with cars, and they were taking up every possible place to park. Finally, we parked maybe three blocks away and had to walk all the way back to the party.

  Rachel's house was one of those McMansions that populate the Sarasota-Bradenton area. Easily worth a half-million dollars, it sprawled amongst houses of the same size in a crowded, planned neighborhood. Inside, there was a lot of space, but not a lot of rooms. The foyer had high ceilings and a large chandelier. Overall, however, the house was a regular three bedroom house. Just a fancy one, with big windows and walk-in closets.

  Rachel's parents were out of town for the weekend, and it seemed that everyone in BayshoreHigh School knew that. The party was packed. Bodies writhed in the living room, dancing to a pulsing stereo. In the foyer, kids chatted in groups, clutching bottles of beer or plastic cups filled with sugary mixed drinks. The kitchen was similarly crowded. There were puddles of alcohol on the floor. There were stains on the carpet. I didn't see Rachel Kline anywhere. I wondered if she were worried about the fact that her house was being destroyed by the entire student body.

  Because the party was so packed, I couldn't find Jason or Lilith. Jude and I made a search of each of the rooms in the lower level of the house. The living room. The foyer. The kitchen. The den. The line to the downstairs bathroom. They were nowhere to be found. Had they actually come to the party? What if they were somewhere else? Together?

  Alone?

  The thought made me feel nauseated.

  "Where are they?" I wondered aloud.

  "Should we check upstairs?" Jude asked.

  Upstairs? Like . . . in a bedroom? I gulped. If that's where they were, did I want to know?

  I chewed on my lip, trying to work up the courage to mount the steps and look. But I didn't have to, because I saw Jason coming out of the kitchen, the plastic cup he held sloshing liquid all over the floor.

  Jude touched my shoulder. "You want me to stick around while you talk to him? For moral support?"

  I shook my head. "It's probably better if you don't. He doesn't much like you, if you hadn't noticed."

  Jude nodded. "I'll be around," he said. "Find me if you need a ride or anything." And then he disappeared into the throng of bodies surrounding us.

  I pushed my way through them to Jason.

  Jason looked surprised when he recognized me. "What are you doing here, Azazel?" he asked.

  "I'm looking for you," I said. "I have something I need to tell you."

  He took a long swig of his drink.

  "Can we go somewhere and talk? Somewhere quiet?" I asked him.

  Jason raised his eyebrows. "What do you want to talk about Azazel? Can't you see I'm drinking here? I'm having fun. I thought you'd be glad. Isn't that what you want me to do? Stop being so serious? Live it up?"

  "No," I said. "No, I need to tell you something very important."

  "So tell me."

  "It's so loud and crowded here. Can't we just—"

  "Tell me," he said. "I've got shit to do."

  I looked at the floor. "You're drunk."

  "Hell yeah, I am," said Jason. "No drunker than you always get, though."

  "It's about the bell, Jason."

  "Oh, the bell. Come on, Azazel, can't you let that go? I thought Sutherland stuck it in your purse, anyway. Sutherland's not a problem. I told you that, didn't I?"

  "Sutherland didn't do it," I said.

  "Then who did?"

  "The Satanists," I said.

  Jason's expression froze thoughtfully. "The Satanists?"

  "I found a ritual on the internet telling me that the Invocation to Azazel could be completed with a bell and other stuff. I think the bell was planted to scare me. Or to tip me off. I don't know. Maybe they thought once the ritual was completed, I'd be on their side completely or something."

  "Wait," said Jason. "The Satanists? Who? Michaela Weem?"

  "No," I said. "I mean, I think she's behind it, but I don't think she's here."

  "Then who?"

  "There's only one person who's close to me, who has ties to the Satanists, and who showed up right before the bell appeared in my purse."

  "There is?"

  "Lilith, Jason. It's Lilith. And she's obviously trying to seduce you so that I'll get angry with you."

  Jason glared at me witheringly before chugging his drink again. "Lilith? Jesus, Azazel, this is ridiculous."

  "You don't believe me?" I said. God, what was wrong with Jason? Why didn't he see that what I was saying was the truth?

  "Look, I'm drunk, and you're grasping at straws."

  "Mr. Sutherland said that someone close to me was trying to complete the ritual," I said.

  "And you believed him? He's not exactly a reliable source, is he?"

  "He wanted to trade information. He only got violent with me when I wouldn't tell him that you were Edgar Weem's son."

  "What?" Jason looked confused. "I can't think about this right now, okay?"

  "We have to. Lilith is staying in our house. We have to do something before she—"

  "Before she what? Why do you hate Lilith so much, Azazel?"

  "This isn't about the way I feel about her. This is about the fact that you and I are both in danger and that the Satanists are—"

  "Spare me," said Jason. "I'm sick of your conspiracy theories. If it's up to you, we'll never be safe. We'll never be normal. You see danger everywhere. You're paranoid, and you need to get over it."

  Jason drained his glass, turned his back on me, and
started back for the kitchen.

  "Jason!" I called after him, struggling to push through the bodies and keep up.

  He turned on me. "I need some space, okay, Azazel? Just give me one night where I don't have to be the Rising Sun. Just give me one night where I don't have to think about this crap. Just give me one night to be normal. Okay? Is that too much to ask?"