Alma Mater

by Rita Mae Brown

  Chris, not quite sure of herself, but getting very excited, then kissed Charly.

  Vic unzipped his pants, reaching in, packing her hand on his jockey shorts. Chris unbuckled his belt and opened the snap of his jeans. She lifted up his shirt, kissing his stomach.

  Charly moaned.

  Chris then kissed Vic, who moved her hand over his shaft to the tip of his penis. She took her hand and put Chris's on his dick.

  Chris gently stroked him as Vic kissed Charly. Then Vic put her hand over Chris's, and they stroked him together.

  "Come on," Vic whispered.

  They floated into the bedroom. Chris dropped her robe on the floor. Charly sighed. Vic pulled off her shirt and jeans.

  Chris thought he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. She knew now that she was fundamentally gay, but Vic was excited, she was excited, Charly was excited. She could barely breathe.

  Vic stood behind Charly, wrapping her arms around his waist. He closed his eyes, his hot dick pressed against Chris's stomach; she could feel his heartbeat in his penis. She kissed him as Vic ran her tongue down his backbone.

  Then Chris stepped back, took his hand, and gently led him to the bed. He lay down as Chris got in the bed on the other side. She took her forefinger, tracing the outline of his lips, tracing between his pecs, down his stomach, tracing from the tip of his cock to his balls.

  Vic was now on the other side of him. She kissed him; then with her tongue she retraced Chris's line. She put the tip of his dick in her mouth for just a moment, just enough to drive him crazy, and then she stopped, slid her crotch over his chest and grabbed Chris from behind.

  She bit Chris's ear, the nape of her neck. She slid three fingers into her. Chris moaned, putting her left hand on Charly. Then Vic, who was incredibly strong, picked up Chris and sat her on Charly. She stayed behind Chris holding her as Chris carefully eased down on him. She whispered in Chris's ear, "Do it just for a little bit." Then she released her and returned to Charly to kiss him. "If you can, don't come."

  In a few minutes, Vic straddled Charly, faced Chris, and kissed her.

  "I love you," Chris whispered, holding her.

  Vic kissed her hard, the sweat running down their bodies. "Don't come. Just wait." She lifted Chris up, who moved back between his legs as Vic slid off him. Chris moved up and down and then moved off.

  "I could die right now." Charly's breathing came in gasps.

  "Bend over, baby." Vic pushed pillows under Chris and motioned for Charly to enter her.

  He held Chris's waist, slowly moving in and out until he couldn't help it, he had to pump it hard. Vic reached under Chris, touching her until both Chris and Charly came. He pulled out, still hard, and Vic pulled him on top of her. She came in about two seconds.

  The three of them sprawled on the soaked bed, Chris's head on Vic's shoulder, Vic resting her head on Charly's shoulder.

  "Thank you." Charly finally caught his breath.

  "Thank you, too," Vic replied.

  "Me, too."

  "Aren't we polite?" Vic laughed.

  "Jesus, if I don't play, this was worth it." He sighed.

  "You'll play," Vic said encouragingly.

  "Yeah," Chris agreed, and then looked up at Vic. "You are totally wild."

  "You two inspired me." She threw her left leg between Charly's legs and her right leg between Chris's smooth legs. "You and the Blessed Virgin Mother."

  A

  photograph of Our Lady of the Barbecue adorned the front page of the regional section of the newspaper. Monsignor Whitby complained bitterly of godless youth. High spirits never

  occurred to him. No suspects were in custody. No physical damage was reported, but the editorial page ran a column about the increased rowdiness of students, citing examples at other colleges as well as William and Mary.

  Charly saw the newspaper as he took his seat in history class, pre-Revolutionary America. Chris didn't see it until after class. Vic read the story in class since she found concentration on the subject matter impossible.

  After class she picked up Jinx, skipping out of the gym, her gym bag slung over her shoulder. As they strolled through the campus she told her everything.

  "Wasn't it awkward?" Jinx asked.

  "You mean more arms and legs to get tangled in?"

  "No." Jinx moved her bag to her other shoulder. "This morning. What did you say to each other?"

  "Oh, nothing. Everyone had to hurry to class. Neither of them seemed upset. They like each other."

  "I hope so," Jinx said.

  "Now what am I going to do?"

  "Your life doesn't seem to be running according to plan."

  "I never had a plan." Vic put her arm over Jinx's shoulder. "Mom and Dad, Aunt Bunny—maybe they have a plan for me, but I don't. I was ready to drop out of school and go to work, but Mom talked me out of it. I don't mind working. I just don't want to be stuck in an office."

  "That severely limits your choices."

  "Maybe I don't have to do anything."

  "Possible."

  "You don't sound convinced." Vic sighed, dropping her arm from Jinx's shoulders.

  "I would imagine—and I have to imagine, since I don't know anyone in your circumstance and I think it is safe to say I will never be there—but I would imagine sooner or later Charly will want to marry you, and that will be the end of it. And who's to say he will want to sleep with both of you again? I mean it sounds great from a purely sexual point of view, but I don't know about it from an emotional point of view."

  "Uh-huh."

  They left campus, heading toward Jinx's apartment.

  "So?" Jinx's eyebrow raised.

  "So I don't know what I'm doing."

  "That's obvious. Okay, what if I put a gun to your head and said, 'You have to choose.' What would you do? Don't think about it. Just react."

  "Chris."

  "Ah." Jinx dropped her head a moment and then lifted it. "Your life is going to be interesting."

  "It already is. But that's what I feel. What I know is that it would be a lot easier to be with Charly for a million reasons."

  "Does he know how you feel?"

  "Of course not. I mean I love him. I do. How can I tell him something like that? Last night was spontaneous. I don't think he knew Chris and I are lovers. He didn't want to know."

  "Well, girlfriend, how long can you keep both balls in the air—forgive the pun?"

  "We could just go along." Vic shrugged.

  "All three of you?" Jinx's voice rose.

  "Well, not all three of us in bed all the time, Jinx. But . . . shit." Her stomach dropped; she felt a bolt of fear.

  "Vic, if you can do it, do it. I'm not judge and jury. I just think the situation can last but so long. Sooner or later, one of them will start pulling on you. You're the one that's the monkey in the middle."

  "That's such an awful phrase."

  "Do you think Chris could live with a woman? It's one thing to have an affair, it's another thing to be a lesbian, I would guess."

  "To come out?" Vic asked.

  "No, not exactly. I mean to choose a woman and stick to it. She doesn't have to come out. Don't most gay people lie like rugs?"

  "How the hell would I know?" A flash of irritation escaped Vic's lips. "I'm not lying."

  "What if she wants to lie and you don't?"

  "I don't know. I don't think of these things."

  "That's obvious."

  "Thanks."

  "Someone has to think ahead, Vic. I'm not trying to ruin anything. I'm just asking questions." Jinx kicked some leaves out of her path. "You can't be in a relationship with a woman if she wants to hide and you don't, and does she even want to be in a relationship with you?"

  "She does. I'm pretty sure she does."

  "Does she know you've been sleeping with Charly?"

  "We've never discussed it."

  "That doesn't mean she doesn't know, for Christ sake."

  "Yeah, I think she knows."


  "Does he know you've been sleeping with her?"

  Vic replied, "I told you. I don't think he knows."

  "Think he'll get mad?" Jinx was glad she wasn't in Charly's shoes. "No. He'd be hurt before he'd be mad."

  "The longer he stays attached to you, the longer it takes him to find someone else."

  "Bullshit. I can love him without marrying him."

  "You can't sleep with him. I mean, you can, but Chris, who I happen to think is desperately in love with you, one woman's opinion, will

  blow up before he will. He's a man, men don't take women's relationships seriously. If he puts two and two together, he'll discount it. He wouldn't think he's sexist or anything, but men assume they come first. He's no different."

  They walked the rest of the way to Jinx's in silence.

  As Jinx opened her front door, Vic finally said, "You're right. I think you're right. Men believe they are first."

  "As long as they're paid more, they will be. And who's going to tell them they aren't?" Jinx said this as they walked into the kitchen. "Hungry?"

  "Starved."

  "You butter the bread.do the rest." Jinx tossed a package of

  boiled ham and a cube of Swiss cheese on the counter; then she grabbed a jar of hamburger pickles and a jar of mayonnaise. "Think anyone at home knows about you and Chris?"

  "No"

  "Bunny will figure it out first. She's always looking, scanning the radar," Jinx declared.

  "She's scanning Don, not me."

  "She scans everybody. It's like she has to know. Mom's like that. I don't get it exactly. I'm too busy to care what anybody else is doing. I'm putting pickles on, okay?"

  "Lots."

  Vic stepped out of the way as Jinx commandeered the buttered bread. "Love must be a powerful thing. More powerful than-1 suppose someday I'll know."

  "It's wonderful and terrifying. You can't think. I will remember until the day I die the first time I saw the light on Chris's cleavage. I felt like I'd been blasted by a bolt of lightning. I had to have her. I had to touch her and smell her. And then," she laughed, "song lyrics, those stupid, vapid lyrics all sounded true and wise and God, it really is horrible."

  "And you truly don't feel that for Charly?"

  "No. I love him. I like sex with him. I love being with him. We know each other, through and through, but it's not the same."

  "And it'd drive you insane to see him make love to Chris?"

  "Just the reverse." She bit into the sandwich. "And I orchestrated it. You know what's really weird—I didn't know I had it in me. If you had told me in September that I'd go to bed with a woman and a man at the same time, I would have said you were certifiable."

  "Would you do it again?"

  "How do I know? It wasn't a rational event. It felt right at the time. I wanted to do it. And it was really, really exciting." She paused. "Maybe because we aren't supposed to do it or maybe because it's visual. You can watch."

  "Pervert."

  "So it would appear." Vic finished half her sandwich.

  "I think I'd better make you another one."

  "Finish yours first and let me finish mine. Then I'll know how hungry I am."

  "I guess you are going to have to talk to each of them individually, don't you think?"

  "Yes."

  Jinx rose, made two more sandwiches, and then sat back down. "You need to keep your strength up, especially if you're going to keep up the recreational sex."

  "I've been sleeping with him Wednesday afternoons because she's in class. And every night I've been with Chris." Vic's green eyes twinkled. "Maybe I need massive vitamin therapy."

  "Bet you're glad Thanksgiving vacation starts in two days."

  "Chris is coming home with me. She'll go home for Christmas, but we'll be together for Thanksgiving, my Pave. And we'll go to the game, Charly's last. Got tickets for you, Mom, Dad, Mignon, Bunny, and Don. You should be proud of me. I really am organized."

  "I am proud of you. I'll pay you for my ticket."

  "No." Vic stopped and looked at Jinx's warm brown eyes. She felt as though she were seeing her dearest, oldest sister for the first time. She felt as though she could see straight through her. "Jinx, I don't know what I'd do without you." Tears rolled down Vic's cheeks.

  Jinx got up, putting her arms around Vic. "You've bailed me out plenty of times."

  "I love you. I'm so lucky to have you."

  "I love you, too."

  Vic pushed her chair back, stood up to hug Jinx with all her might. "I'm afraid I'm going to fuck up. I don't want to hurt anybody."

  "I don't think we can go through life without hurting people, even when we don't want to, Vic. I don't know why it works that way, but I think it's the deal."

  "There's got to be another way."

  "Come on, finish your sandwich. Want another?"

  "No, thank you."

  They took their seats again. "Look, even if you are the best person in the world, people around you have expectations, right? Like my mother has expectations, and I don't fit them. I don't hate her. She makes me froth at the mouth, but I don't hate her. Still I can't be what my mother wants me to be, and I think that's just how it works whether it's parents or friends or lovers. They kind of invent you, and then one day they see the real you. And it's not the same person. So they either have to love the real you or find another invention. Of course, your parents are stuck with you, so they can ignore it or make up stories about how you're doing what they want. Mom does that. I hear her talking to her friends about how I'm dating this guy and that guy and I'm having the most fun any coed, her word, 'coed,' has ever had." Jinx sighed. "Fairy dust."

  "Yeah. And when the fairy dust wears off, everyone feels betrayed." "I haven't betrayed my mother. I don't think you've betrayed Charly. You never promised him marriage or fidelity, did you?"

  "No."

  "And what have you promised Chris?"

  "Nothing. But I told her I loved her."

  "Would you be faithful?"

  "Yes. But you make me think, Jinx, you always do. If I many Charly, the fairy dust will wear off. If I marry Chris, it will, too. Then what? Then I see her and she sees me and we either make it or break it."

  "Yep. But any relationship that lasts is the same deal."

  "Not us." Vic pointed at Jinx's heart.

  "We've known one another all our lives. It's different when you grow up together. You see everything, pretty much. You can't hide anything."

  "Not if you're true friends." Vic got up and opened a cupboard. "Mind if we eat up your chocolate chip cookies? I'll buy you more." Vic put the bag on the table and then started a pot of hot water for tea.

  Vic fixed the tea, sat back down, and dunked cookies in her tea. "You know what I think? I think nobody wants you to be you. Your parents have this vision. Friends who aren't true friends have this vision or expectations, as you'd say. The church doesn't want you to be you. The government doesn't want you to be you. What people really want is obedience and conformity, even if it tears you in half."

  "1 agree." Jinx exhaled. "I don't know what to do about it except to be as true as I can to myself, to you, to the people who want me to be me."

  "You know what Mom said to me once? I was in high school, and we were talking about the women's movement. There was a march or something like that, and I was full of questions and opinions and Mom said, didn't conquer the world. I found a way to live in it.' It was so odd coming from her. It was like an explanation of why she wasn't marching, sort of, not that I ever thought she would. And I wonder if I will say that some day."

  "It is odd, but I can hear your mother saying that. You know, Vic, maybe everyone who actually thinks for herself takes a step out of line. I kind of think it will happen to me some day, in a different way than it's happening to you, but I know I can't coast along. I can't go along. I can't. I mean, I'm not looking to be an obstructionist or anything, but I can't agree when I think something's not right or it's not going to work. Mom says men do
n't like women who think."

  "Oh, they do. I mean a lot of them do. They just don't want you to disagree with them. But hey, women don't want you to disagree with them either."