Surrendering to the Mountain Man

by Asha Daniels

  “I want you,” she murmured, lifting her arms over her head.

  I hovered over her, trying to keep my patience, to wait but there was no denying the hunger. Thrusting my cock all the way inside, I gritted my teeth as her pussy muscles clamped around my shaft, drawing me even deeper inside. “Yes! Goddamn, I’ve missed this.”

  “You’re so hard.” Megan threw one leg over mine, her eyes filled with tears.

  I was taken aback by her emotions, as well as my own, but this was so right, so perfect. I drove in and out, keeping the actions even. Lowering my head, I crushed my mouth over hers and could feel her body shaking. This had been such a rough ride, so many years lost, but I would be the man she needed.

  Our tongues rolled together, moving back and forth as I thrust in deeper. Faster. The sound of skin hitting skin gave me another series of shakes, adrenaline pumping to the point I had difficulty breathing. And still, I wanted more.

  Megan lifted her legs, wrapping them around my thighs. “Come inside.”

  “I will.” The words were cathartic, creating a new relationship. I pulled out then plunged again, every move becoming frenetic. As my balls swelled to the point of true agony, I finally released, throwing my head back. “Yes!”

  She eased her arms over my shoulders, meeting every hard thrust with one of her own as I kept driving into her tight cunt. Only when we both stopped shaking did I ease down, curling on my side. What a magical moment.

  I opened my eyes and yawned, blinking as the early morning light streamed in through the open blinds. Feeling Megan curled next to me, I finally sighed, relief and joy rushing through me. I glanced down at her sleeping form and kissed the top of her forehead. Making love for hours had seemed far too perfect.

  Easing out of bed, I made certain I hadn’t disturbed her before walking out of the bedroom in search of coffee. As I padded into the living room, I gathered another look at her place. I could live here. The thought gave me a chuckle. I gathered the papers off the floor, studying the press releases and newspaper clippings. Jamie had tried to make me look like a decent guy. Maybe I finally was. I eased the papers on the table and refused to fall back into memories of the past. This was about making a future together.

  I headed into the kitchen, finding the light then searching for coffee. I was actually humming, a shocker. Finally finding everything I needed, I proceeded to fill the canister until something caught my eye.

  “What the…” The doll was on the edge of the counter, the frilly pink dress slightly dirty, the hair mussed as if a favorite toy. I walked closer as I thought about the look of the house. A nagging feeling fell into the pit of my stomach. I had a moment of vicious self-doubt as I walked into the living room, glancing around at the entire perimeter. Noticing a few pictures on a bookshelf, I walked closer.

  “What. The. Fuck?” My hand was shaking as I grabbed the frame. I wrestled with the entire notion and stormed down the hallway, throwing open the other door, the very one she hadn’t wanted me to enter. The moment I walked inside, tears rushed into my eyes. The little girl’s bedroom was beautiful, decorated for a princess. I looked at the picture again and the resemblance was uncanny.

  The little girl had my eyes.

  “Razer.”

  No. No! This couldn’t be happening.

  Hearing Megan’s voice, I swallowed hard, tamping back the anger. She placed her hand on my arm and I jerked it away. “You lied to me.”

  “I can explain,” she whispered. “That’s why I wanted to talk last night.”

  Turning sharply, I glared at her, at the woman I loved and the very one who’d kept my own child from me. “She’s mine. Isn’t she?” The nastiness in my tone was justified.

  Megan jumped, her eyes narrowing. She nodded and wiped a tear from her eyes. “Her name is Anabelle.”

  “You kept her from me all these years? Why? Why would you do that?” I was shaking, my fingers clenching the picture to the point I was terrified I would crack the glass.

  “The way things were, my father and all the lies, the wretched shit in the news. I didn’t know what to do. Then you disappeared.”

  Sucking in my breath, I couldn’t fathom why she’d made the decision. My entire world was rocked, the secrets, the lies, ones I couldn’t accept. “You could have found me. Hell, your friend kept tabs on me for years. You could have told me! You just didn’t want to.”

  “Yes. I know. I should have. I just wanted to find the right time. Everything changed, moving so fast.” Megan’s words were almost inaudible.

  I thought about what she was saying, the implications. “You made it very clear that you don’t want me in your life or the life of our daughter. While I’ll never understand why you did this, not really, I will accept your decision for you. But know this, she is part of me and I want a relationship with her, even if it costs me everything I have. Do. You. Understand?”

  She reached out, her fingers clenching. “I want you in my life. I always have. She’s our daughter. Please. Try and understand.”

  There was no recourse, no way that I could remain objective. The anguish was too great and too much to bear. I walked past her, handing her the frame. “Just know this. I loved you with my entire heart, my soul. I would have done anything to make you happy, protect and love you. And now? You are dead to me.”

  After grabbing my clothes and struggling into them, I headed for the door. She didn’t bother to come after me. There was nothing but silence.

  When I walked into the hallway, closing the door with a hard thud, I leaned against the wall. And I broke down into tears. I’d lost everything that had ever mattered to me.

  Chapter 14

  Megan

  “Are you certain you want to do this?”

  I was no longer certain of anything. My life once again had been turned upside down. “I’ll be fine, Marty.” I noticed the man had aged so much from the last time I was at the resort, but his eyes were just as kind. “This is something I have to do.”

  “I don’t know if you’re going to find what you’re looking for.”

  I glanced over my shoulder at Anabelle and the tears surfaced again. I’d done nothing but bawl my eyes out during the last week, trying desperately to figure out what to do. “I think you understand.”

  “I do, but there’s a nasty spring snowstorm coming in. They’re very unpredictable.” Marty grinned as he peeked inside the SUV, waving at Anabelle.

  “I’ll take my chances. I believe in fate.” The words had special meaning today more than perhaps any other day.

  “Well, if you don’t find what you’re looking for, I suggest you come right back down. We have plenty of room at the resort. Might be fun for your little one.”

  I could feel the tears slipping into my eyes again. “I’m kind of hoping she’ll get to have fun in a different way, Marty. I just…”

  He narrowed his eyes then exhaled. “He said you were the love of his life. I guess he has two reasons to find happiness.”

  There was nothing clever to say. “I might have messed that up forever.”

  “Well, here’s what I think about fate and karma. There are reasons two people find each other and whether in a storm or a fog of life, we usually only have one chance in order to grasp on. Two chances are rare but powerful.”

  “Trouble is, this is the third.” The salty beads fell down my face and I fought to keep from sobbing. Anabelle was only a little over three but keen to my emotions in a way that was uncanny.

  Marty patted my arm. “I know that man pretty well. He’s stubborn as it gets but he will forgive. Whatever happened, just be yourself and love him.”

  I sniffed and could only nod as I started the engine. “Thank you for everything.”

  “My pleasure, Megan. Life has a funny way of knocking us on our ass. You’re both strong enough to weather the storm.”

  The words were perhaps exactly what I needed. I rolled up the window and glanced into the rearview mirror. “Are you ready for an adventure, li
ttle girl?”

  “Where are we going, Mommy?”

  “To see a very special man.” I did everything I could not to cry and as my sweet daughter chattered, excited about anything and everything, I tried to concentrate on driving. After the incident in my house, Razer had vanished, leaving the city and as far as I knew, the country. I’d contacted everyone I could, including his partner.

  While Thorn had obviously been told not to say anything to me, only because of the way he alluded to the past and how Razer and I met, was I able to put two and two together. This was perhaps my last hope in finding him.

  I could never forget the nastiness in his words, the vehemence about keeping me out of his life. I’d been such a damn fool. The only man I could ever love I’d lied to. I gripped the steering wheel, glancing at the sky. The clouds were swirling, blocking out the sun. A slice of fear trickled down my spine. I wouldn’t risk my baby’s life, but I would take this one chance. The rest I’d have to leave up to Razer’s decision. If he wanted to drag me through court, then so be it.

  I wouldn’t fight him.

  “How are you doing, pumpkin?” I heard the glitch in my voice and wished I was in bed, my head under the covers. This little girl meant the world to me and I was allowing her to grow up with a nanny. I’d made a decision on that very day that I was hiring a second in command and that I was spending more time with my baby. Life was far too precious.

  “Fine. Are we there yet, Mommy? I’m hungry.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Soon, baby girl. Soon.” Reaching into my purse, I grabbed a bag of her favorite animal crackers. “This is a special treat. Okay?”

  “Oh, yay!” Her squeal lit up the small area.

  The drive was arduous, but at least the vehicle I’d rented was ready for the task. Still, the minutes then an hour ticked by and I was confused and fearful. Slowing to a stop, I studied the area. Everything looked the same from the trees to the snow covered rocks. What in the hell did I think I was doing?

  The wind had started to whip, and my fear was increasing, as well as a bitter hatred of myself. Things could have gone so much differently if I’d only contacted him at least once. All the reasons I’d chosen not to seemed irrelevant at this point. It seemed every decision I’d made in my life was the wrong one.

  I checked the directions. Marty’s scribble had seemed legible until now. My memory of the time spent, including the trip down the mountain was vague at best. I hadn’t wanted to leave. If only I’d insisted, staying with him. I bit back a laugh. There was no going back. I reached the top of a ridge and could see the mountains clearly through an opening in the trees. A series of sensations, perhaps memories came rushing back. I was close.

  Holding my breath, I followed the directions to the letter and after rounding a bend, I burst into tears, unable to stop the flow.

  “Mommy. What’s wrong?” Anabelle asked in her gentle voice.

  “Nothing. Just glad that we’re here.” I noticed a truck, one I didn’t recognize and there was smoke coming out of the chimney. I pulled alongside, saying a silent prayer. He could toss me out, even if he was the one inside. There was no way of knowing. Easing the gear into park, I idled for a solid minute before finding the courage to turn off the engine.

  “Okay, baby girl. It’s cold so we’re going to see if my friend is here. Okay? You with me?”

  She clapped her hands, giggling. “Yes. Yes.”

  I glanced at my reflection in the mirror and half laughed seeing the bags under my eyes. I looked like shit. Well deserved. Everything about the cabin looked the same from what I remembered. There was wood stacked by the front door, overhanging trees glistening with ice crystals. Very cautiously I eased out, tugging open the back door and unbuckling Anabelle from the car seat.

  “Who is your friend?” she asked so innocently.

  “I’ll tell you in a minute, baby girl. Let’s go.” I gripped her hand, cognizant I had to be hurting her. After another quick glance at the sky, I knew there was little time before I had to head back. I had zero courage inside, nothing to add credence to my hunt for him.

  Except for my little girl. His little girl.

  After saying a quick and silent prayer, I knocked on the door. There were no sounds, no obvious understanding that anyone was inside. I gritted my teeth and tousled her hair, trying to hold back another round of tears.

  Then I heard the sound of boots thumping on the floor. I took a step back, now wanting to run away with my tail between my legs. This was foolish.

  The door was opened, and Razer’s eyes were stern, full of rage as he glared at me. As he shifted his gaze down to Anabelle, he softened, his body shaking. “I knew you’d come.”

  “I had to.” I love you, Razer. I wasn’t even certain if I’d uttered the words, but I could see such adoration in his eyes as he hunkered down.

  “This must be Anabelle,” he whispered then wiped tears from his eyes.

  “Mommy, who is this?” She clung to me, her arm wrapped around my leg.

  I was shaking, unable to stop the burning tears. “Baby girl, this is your father.”

  The mixture of emotions on both Anabelle’s and Razer’s face took my breath away.

  Razer reached out, his action so gentle, so loving, and fingered her ginger curls. “You look just like your mommy.”

  She looked up at me, questioning the truth, curious as what to do. “It’s okay, honey. You can hug him. I know how much he loves you.”

  Anabelle sucked in her bottom lip and twisted back and forth, inching away from the protection of my leg. “Daddy?”

  “Yes,” he whispered and held out his arms.

  She threw herself into him, wrapping her little arms around his neck, clinging to him.

  I could hold back no longer. Sobbing, I held my hand in front of my face, trying to maintain some level of control, but my legs were threatening to give out.

  Razer hugged her, keeping her close then sweeping her into his arms, laughing as he lifted her over his head. “My princess!”

  I had to turn away, the joy as well as despondence creating nausea. After a few seconds, I felt his hand brushing against my cheek, soft and loving.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

  As I turned to look into his eyes, I was that young girl who had fallen in love with a mountain man, one who’d surrendered body and soul. And I wanted nothing more than to fight my way back to exactly what we shared. “I love you.”

  He shook his head over and over. “I love you.”

  Razer

  I sat by the fire, watching Anabelle sleeping, her tiny body so at peace, her long hair streaming over her shoulders. She was very much her mother and so much more. Since finding out the news, I’d gone into a fog, resisting everything and everyone around me. The anger had almost driven me down another dark path, forcing me to leave. Again. To the only place I felt comfortable and perhaps safe.

  The cabin.

  I hadn’t intended on forgiving Megan, but there was no way I could remain angry. I loved her with all my heart. I had to be with her and the fact we had a child together made everything that much sweeter.

  I heard Megan’s approach and when she sat down next to me, her body as close to mine as possible, I was at peace. She handed me a glass of wine but remained silent. There was no real need to talk at this point. We had each other, a small but amazing family.

  “I wanted you to know that her birth certificate lists you as the father. I never intended on keeping her from you.” Megan’s words were so stilted, full of pain.

  “I think I knew that in my heart. Everything was so difficult for both of us. I have no doubt you were overwhelmed. I’m sorry for the way I reacted.”

  “You had your reasons, but I couldn’t let it end like that. I’ll leave tomorrow if you ask me to, but I needed you to hear the truth from me and I wanted you to meet our baby.” Megan shifted so she was able to see Anabelle. “She’s so much like you. Feisty. Ready to get into anything. She�
�s going to be a ballbuster.”

  “Like her mother,” I whispered and moved so I could look into her eyes. “I don’t want you to leave. Ever. And you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  “You’ve rented this place forever?” Megan teased.

  “I purchased it only a couple months after you left before.” I waited to see her reaction.

  A smile crossed her face. “Really?”

  “For us or so I’d hoped at the time. I should have continued to try and talk to you, explain, but after a while, even hearing my own words seemed ridiculous.”

  “I love that you purchased this. So many amazing memories.”

  I grabbed her hand. “Come with me.”

  “Where?” Her eyes flashed.

  “I just want to show you something special to me.” Dragging her to her feet, we both looked over at Anabelle and I couldn’t help but smile.

  She trailed behind me as I walked toward the painting room, cautiously opening the door. The same cold chills I’d experienced the very first time she’d entered my little area of sanctity occurred.

  As she walked in, she gasped and turned in a full circle. “You did these?”

  “All in a week.” The pictures of Anabelle and her mother were from memory, but seeing my precious child, I was stricken by how correct I’d been.

  “They’re amazing. So beautiful.”

  “I just wanted you to have something that you could keep forever.” I accepted what had occurred between us was necessary in order to embrace the kind of love that happens once in a lifetime. I also knew what I had to do, what I’d waited for four long years to be able to do.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “I want nothing more than to stay here.”

  I took both glasses of wine, easing them onto the table and dropped to my knees. Reaching into my pocket, a dream I’d had for four long years, I pulled out the small box. “I’ve had this since you left here. After what happened the other day, I knew you’d come and find me and I realized I couldn’t live without you.”