by Lisa Swann
When his head disappeared between my legs, I relaxed completely and let myself go slack like a rag doll. He teased my clitoris with the tip of his tongue so skilfully that I was overcome by orgasm before he had even penetrated me. But when his erection entered my intimacy, every fibre of my most personal muscles exploded in waves of pleasure.
– You’re so good, he moaned. Tight and lubricated, just right…
– I do my best, I replied between spasms.
He quieted me by kissing me with astonishing gentleness – a contrast with his thrusting. Once again, the union of our two bodies was perfect. We were in tune with each other, our pleasure escalating at the same rate. I even felt his ejaculation fill my belly just as a second orgasm drained me of energy. He slumped onto me, without crushing or pressing on me, while he got his breath back. I caressed his hair, scarcely feeling that I had just gone through something so fierce. He got up and grabbed our two bathrobes.
– Come on, go and get ready quickly if you don’t want to get into trouble. We’re leaving for the office in twenty minutes. I’ll make some coffee and toast while you take a shower.
I had spent another night with Sacha! I wanted to sing and dance and lay all my doubts to rest. Sacha. My Sacha. My man. I was roused by a slap on the butt, Sacha was watching me sternly.
– Come on, stop fantasising. This is no time for daydreams. Go and have a shower… You’ll find some clothes on the bed.
I turned round as Sacha disappeared into what must have been the kitchen and I noticed an overhead staircase made of aluminium and glass. This vast apartment had more than one floor.
As on the previous day, we spent much of the day holed up in the meeting room on the management floor of Goodman & Brown. The action plan for the forthcoming merger required a lot of preparatory work. I worked hard, took notes, prepared the files requested by Mr Dufresne and drafted summaries of the cases we had concluded in France and in Europe. The Asian market, which I had done a lot of work on in Paris over the last two years, was often at the heart of the discussions.
Sacha remained very professional all day, not giving anything away about our night together. The brunette was no longer around – a great relief which added a bit more sunshine to a day which already seemed perfect in every respect, or almost. I had rarely felt this self-assured in my life. In fact, I was bursting with confidence and felt particularly comfortable with everyone present; the night I had spent with the man leading the whole meeting made me feel even more self-assured.
But as the day progressed I couldn’t stop doubts rising up, insidiously, deep within me. What I had believed this morning to be professionalism became a much more uncertain feeling in the afternoon. Somewhere between indifference and ignorance? Something like that. Sacha and Richard Brown lunched alone with Mr Dufresne and Arnaud, while the rest of us employees ate together. I obviously hadn’t been expecting him to roll out the red carpet, and I would have been incredibly embarrassed if he had made any inappropriate comments or gestures, especially after what Arnaud had inferred the previous day. But nevertheless, a quick glance, a smile, surely that wouldn’t have hurt him. But there was nothing. It was as if I didn’t exist… Was he ashamed? And apparently I was so 'good'. Yeah... just so long as no one found out, right?
When I returned to my hotel that evening, I was no longer in anything like the same mood as I had been in the morning. My blissful optimism had been replaced by a dull ache. I had been taken for a ride yet again by the deceitful Sacha Goodman, who had completely ignored me when I walked past him on the way to the lift as I left. He had not even deigned to raise his head. What an idiot I was.
I had barely closed the door behind me when there was a knock. It was Arnaud, more sanctimonious than ever.
– Elisabeth! My father and I are leaving for Chicago in one hour and coming back on Tuesday. Natalia – you know that fabulous brunette who was there yesterday – will be waiting for us at the airport. She’s in charge of the Chicago branch of Goodman & Brown. But I’m warning you, behave yourself while we’re away. OK? Don’t make a fuss, and work on the current files without disturbing the people in the firm. There’ll be an office at your disposal. You’re the intern, remember. It’s the weekend now, so keep out of trouble, ok?
He uttered it all with such disdain and self-importance that I wanted to vomit immediately. But I had no time to come back with anything in response, as he had already disappeared. What a bastard that Arnaud was. That daddy’s boy was becoming increasingly arrogant. Good riddance… So the brunette was the famous Natalia Azarov everyone had been going on about all day. What an imbecile, I hadn’t made the connection... She had clearly risen the top, that one! Beautiful, intelligent, in the public eye – she had it all. I was sure Arnaud was preparing to seduce her. Even though the boor already had a fiancée in Paris!
I went into my bedroom with the sole intention of having a long, very hot shower. Then I would go straight to bed, without eating or doing anything else. There was bound to be something rubbish on TV to stop me thinking about my lamentable situation.
It was then that I saw the dress on the bed. There was no point reading the card on top of it, I already knew who had arranged for the silky garment to be delivered. I touched the incredibly soft material and held the sea-green dress up in front of me to see what it looked like in the mirror. The colour was perfect. It complemented my pale skin and red hair superbly. What should I do? Give in? Obey and be ready for him whenever he clicked his fingers? Even if it meant putting up with his exceptionally cold attitude forever? The dress was so beautiful. Everything he touched was so tasteful, so refined. The heat of his kisses was so intense and the dream I was living thanks to him was so incredible (most of the time) that I would have been stupid to refuse this adventure, wouldn’t I?
I picked up the card and snapped it between my fingers.
“Bring a few things with you and put on this dress. You’re not sleeping at the hotel tonight. A limousine will be waiting for you in front of the hotel at 7pm on the dot.
S.”
No tender words!
Very well, I will get ready, Mr Goodman… But don’t think you’re going to enjoy my sexy little body tonight!
At 7pm sharp, I slid into the white leather seat. Sacha was already there. I hardly dared look at him, but I could see he was wearing a dinner suit. He had such class.
How did he manage to make me forget how careful I should be every time… Was just one of his smiles enough to make all my doubts disappear? It was too easy for him. I stood my ground. He moved closer and caressed my breasts through the thin silk…
– That dress is just perfect. You look very beautiful, he said, running his fingers over my chest.
With his other hand, he grabbed hold of the back of my neck and moved ominously closer to me. His subtle scent filled my nostrils. I was going to give in, there was no doubt about it. I stiffened as much as I could…
– Hmm… I’ve wanted these lips all day.
It was too much. I exploded.
– Really? I thought you hadn’t even noticed I was there! You've got a funny way of showing someone that you’re dying to kiss them! I’m just good for a quick fuck on the quiet, am I? Just as long as nobody finds out about it…
He pulled away and looked at me… a flash of anger in his eyes.
– What's wrong with you? I wasn’t going to fuck you on my desk – although that might be an idea. I'm the boss of one of the biggest law firms in the country, Elisabeth. I’m not an amateur. That means that when I’m at the office, I give it 200%. Please don’t be naïve. If you want to have a career, you have to learn that it requires a certain minimum level of professionalism.
I suddenly felt unbelievably ridiculous. Yes, I was terribly naïve. He was a professional… and I was a complete idiot. I was acting like a child having a tantrum about her first crush. I regretted my contemptible attitude straight away. He must find me so childish.
– I… I know all that. I’m sorr
y, it’s just that sometimes you seem so cold, so distant. I… I… I just wonder… For a start, I don’t even understand what you see in me…
– What I see in you? Sacha came towards me again, and his tone softened. He took my chin in his hands and turned my head so I was forced to look at him.
– I like everything about you. Your wholesomeness, your naturalness, your studious little character… I can feel there's something different about you… Ever since you found yourself half-naked on the bonnet of my car, I haven’t stopped thinking about you! Because, Miss Lanvin, despite the fact that I don’t sodomise you in the meeting room, I find you particularly arousing. I could have a permanent hard-on just thinking about licking your little butt… He had become more and more forthright as he spoke, his anger giving way to unmistakeable lust in his eyes.
I was becoming incredibly wet, but I wasn’t altogether reassured. He still brought everything back to sex. I wanted more than that. The limousine stopped.
– I think you’re going to have to wait if you want to lick anything, I said, still stunned by the scene which had just taken place. But he had already got out and was holding out a hand to help me out of the limousine…
– Sacha? I said in a small voice. He turned his head. I… I’m sorry, I was ridiculous. In response, he squeezed my hand very tightly and led me up some vast stone steps. We were at the opera.
If Sacha aroused certain blatant physical reactions in me, then the voice of the soprano singing her operatic arias made each note feel like a piece of crystal stabbing me in the heart. Such delicacy, such precision, such emotion… I had been to the opera before with Maddie, although my aunt preferred the ballet. So I wasn’t a novice, and I still loved the great classics. But it was even more powerful this evening. Everything was more powerful when I was with Sacha. I let myself be carried away by the magic of the setting, the arias, and my companion. I no longer had any desire to fight or to keep on questioning myself.
After the opera, we got back in the car and headed for the suburbs. We were both silent, still moved by the emotional power of the opera. I couldn’t believe my eyes when we arrived at a heliport. A helicopter was waiting for us. I was staggered.
– I promised you seventh heaven. Enjoy it, said Sacha once were on board.
– I feel like a little girl discovering a new toy! It’s wonderful. Thank you Sacha… But there’s no need to do all this, you know, I said rather too abruptly, still on the defensive.
– I do what I like, Liz, he said, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Nobody has ever forced me to do anything, and no woman has ever made me feel obliged to do anything at all...
I couldn’t hear what he said next, as the noise from take-off was deafening. Sacha settled himself next to me as I admired the illuminated panorama before us. New York from the sky looked like an incandescent ants’ nest. We were holding hands. I felt so close to him for once. In fact, this was the first time we had been this close to each other without having sex.
Once we returned to Sacha’s loft apartment, I was so exhausted that I only wanted to do one thing: curl up next to him and go to sleep. Steven had dropped off the few things I had brought from the hotel – my toiletries and a change of clothes. Sacha had gone up to his office and he told me to wait for him. I brushed my teeth and lay down for five minutes to wait. But I fell asleep.
In the middle of the night I was awoken by a pleasant sensation in my crotch. I opened my eyes. Muted lighting partially illuminated the room. Sacha’s hand always knew the way to my pleasure. Before I was fully awake, his tongue had replaced his hand, which was busy caressing my butt. I wiggled my hips to make it a bit easier for him, with his finger in the folds of the most hidden part of my anatomy. Ooh, that bit was definitely very sensitive… and Sacha knew exactly what to do with it. He relaxed that area, then delicately introduced a finger into my anus, with his tongue still buried deep in my intimacy. I was overflowing with sensual pleasure, front and back. A double whammy, if you could call it that, which I had never experienced before, and which sent my already high level of arousal sky high. Then Sacha began a backwards and forwards motion with his tongue and finger… My body was an explosion of sensations. I caught hold of his head and squeezed my fists. I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself much longer. I could feel my vagina contracting, ready to pour out its pleasure onto the man who was making every square centimetre of my genitals as sensitive as a tightrope. I moaned, murmured, groaned and then cried out as I climaxed.
– Yes, that’s good, Liz, come for me. That’s what I want. You’re mine, all mine... You’re going to come for me again and again.
He flipped over onto his back and he too seemed on the point of exploding, his rod harder and more swollen than ever. I gently brought my mouth close to his penis and sucked it greedily until he ordered me to stop. Then I mounted him like an Amazon and the sense of controlling his pleasure gave me a wonderful feeling. He gripped hard onto my hips and dictated the rhythm until he released his seed into me at the height of his orgasm. We both rolled onto our sides, panting.
– For someone who doesn’t have much experience of sex, you’re very impressive! Tell me the truth, have you had as few lovers as you said?
– Yes! But I can feel myself growing wings with you…
– Hmmm! You're a real pleasure machine, formatted for sex, and I like that.
– And is that all you like? I mean, is that all you like in me?
He raised himself up onto his elbow next to me, gently caressed the curve of my hips, moved up to my breasts and pinched one of my nipples.
– Ouch!
– You’re extremely lacking in self-confidence, Liz. But I like that too.
– You didn’t give me an answer…
His hand began to trace the contours of my body again.
– I’m not very good at grand declarations, Liz. And to tell you the truth, I don’t want to start that with you. It would be better for you if you didn’t expect that kind of thing from me. But I’m willing to make an exception, just for this evening, for this pretty little nose (he gave it a flick and pushed my red mane up over my eyes). I like the fact that you're fragile and strong at the same time. I can feel that you're very strong deep down. And you're someone who's completely honest too… Don’t expect me to say any more!
– OK, I’ll make do with that then.
I slept like a baby, lulled by the certainty that I was living a fairy tale, or something close to one. I think I was becoming completely hooked on this man. Even if his words were harsh, hard sometimes, and even if he had still not said anything loving… I liked this kind of reserve he had. I had always been wary of guys who showered you with compliments, all the better to betray you later. Sacha certainly wasn’t like that.
When I woke up in the morning, he had disappeared again. I thought I would go and surprise him in his office, on the loft floor. I carefully climbed the glass staircase, walked forwards and pushed the half-open door. Just like downstairs, the room was largely dominated by a glass wall which inundated the room with light. Nobody. I moved behind the desk to get closer to the bay window. I almost got vertigo, I was so high up. I turned round. His Macbook was on, so he couldn’t be far away.
His email inbox was open. Without thinking, I read the text which was up on the screen.
* * *
From: Natalia Azarov
To: Sacha Goodman
My very dear Sacha,
Everything is going well in Chicago, but I’m worried about you. I have just spent a very “instructive” evening with your future partner. Be wary of the little intern. She is very ambitious and her main aim is to find a job. Arnaud Dufresne has obviously experienced her first hand. She has done everything possible to get him into bed, she’s so desperate to get a job with the firm. He thinks she’s scheming to get something out of you, that she’s interested in your status and your money. Be very careful, I don’t want you to suffer again.
Your Natalia.
* * *
* * *
From: Sacha Goodman
To: Natalia Azarov
Don’t worry on my behalf, my Natalia… I know what I’m doing. I’m enjoying myself. Everything is under control.
Your Sacha
XXX
* * *
I’m enjoying myself? I’M ENJOYING MYSELF? Am I dreaming or something? I re-read the sentence several times. But it didn’t change – the words were there, written in black and white. I had a burning sensation in my throat and I was suffocating… I went back downstairs quickly, grabbed my things, my eyes brimming with tears, and slammed the door less than ten minutes later.
I burst into tears in the taxi as it took me back to the hotel. The bastard, the bastard, the bastard! I was no more than a plaything for him. The little intern. But why? Why had I let myself be taken for a ride so easily? I went into my bedroom with red eyes. I didn’t know what to do. Go back to France? Impossible, I had to wait for the Dufresnes to come back. But there was no question of staying here, as if everything were ok. I packed my bags. In the taxi, I gave the driver the little piece of paper Jess had given me the day I left. At least I would have some peace until Monday.
6.(In)decent Proposal
It took me less than twenty minutes to get from my hotel to Brooklyn, the district where Jess’s aunt lived. The streets of New York were almost deserted on this Sunday morning.
On the way, I couldn’t help wondering – once again – what I was doing. Even though Jess had pretty much ordered me to go there if I had any problems, I suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable turning up at this woman’s house without warning. But I really needed support – I could no longer understand or see clearly what was going on. I took out my phone and wrote a text message to Jess to tell her I was going to her aunt’s house.