by Lisa Swann
I didn’t see my boss when he arrived, as he was expected for a debriefing in Sacha’s office. But at 2 pm, Mr Dufresne asked to speak to me, which was rather unusual. After beating about the bush for five minutes, reminding me how satisfied he was with my work and my involvement over the last two years, then how much of a dear friend Maddie was to him… he announced that he could not give me a job in the firm. Then he started to get tangled up in some disgusting excuse, the position would go to Arnaud’s fiancée… I didn’t say a word, I was in shock. I had been fighting for two years to get that position. It had been implicitly understood, or almost, that it would automatically go to me. Even though I had my Master’s degree, it would be much more complicated to start again in a new law firm. I didn’t understand this turnaround in the situation. Arnaud had definitely influenced Mr Dufresne. I would get even with him…
– You will soon find something else, said Mr Dufresne, with a knowing look. You’re talented, you’re reliable and… he added, smiling at me, now you take care of your appearance! I am sorry to have to tell you this right now, but Sacha Goodman wanted to see you.
I didn’t understand the connection, but I went to Sacha’s office. At least I could tell him what I was thinking!
I entered and immediately said:
– I haven’t got the job! The one I should have got automatically at Courcelles Investissements! It’s not fair. I’m sure it’s a low blow by Arnaud…
– I know.
– What do you know?
– I know, Henri has just told me…
– Really? You talk about me together? Well that’s something…
– I’m offering you the job…
– Pardon?
– You heard me perfectly.
– You mean… er… a job at Goodman & Brown? No!
– Yes!
– But, er, but… I don’t know what to say… Wait, I’ll have to think about it… It’s so sudden. It would change my whole life… and how would I manage in New York? I don’t have anywhere to live. I haven’t got any friends. I haven’t got anything. And then there’s Maddie... my father. Oh my goodness.
– I’m offering you $200,000 a year. I want you to help me with the Asian market. I opened my eyes wide.
– But... that’s well above average… I can’t accept...
– My law firm is above average. The Asian market will be right up your street once you’ve got a bit more experience; don’t get too smug!
– Of course not! But I don’t know, I need to think about it… Can I get back to you this evening?
– Of course, but no later. He looked me in the eyes, smiling. This interview is over, Miss Lanvin. You can get back to work.
I wanted to jump, to dance and sing. I was going to work for Goodman & Brown, because there was no question of me saying no, let’s be clear about that. 200,000 dollars, my word, that was way more than I would have been able to earn in Paris. Incomparable even… And also I would have Sacha close by. Not a bad prospect.
I fine-tuned my response all afternoon… I thought about writing him a message saying '(In)decent proposal accepted, but I warn you, I don’t fuck in Chinese.' I also wanted to tell him that I knew I had the right skills, but I couldn’t accept this job because we were sleeping together. I wanted to make it clear that sleeping my way to the top wasn’t my style. All this was going round and round in my head when someone knocked on the door. I raised my head. It was Steven.
– Good evening, Miss.
– Good evening, Steven.
– I have been told to take you to your new hotel…
– Pardon?
– Your luggage is in the car…
– But, er, Sacha… I mean Mr Goodman asked you to take me to a hotel?
– Yes. A very good hotel, don’t worry.
– But, er, where is Mr Goodman?
– He has left, Miss.
– Left?
– Yes, Miss, he has left for Hong Kong.
7. Rise and Fall
Hong Kong? Hong Kong? My head kept going over and over these words ... He was gone! With no warning, without a word, without a sign ... I collapsed onto the armchair in the suite, a nervous wreck. The whole thing had exhausted me.
Mechanically, I looked around the luxurious room that served as a setting to my vexation. He had rented me a suite! As usual, the suite was designed for comfort and luxury ... A giant screen took up half the wall, a small living room with a large window overlooked Central Park, and a bit further away was a bed that stood proudly in its place in an alcove of finely chiseled stucco. On a side table there was a welcome gift basket of exotic fruit. He could put that where it fits best, I said to myself angrily.
Nothing made any sense anymore.
A few hours earlier, I had been in his arms. He had all my belongings brought to his house ... and then, since my plans to integrate Courcelles Investments had gone up in smoke, he made me an offer I couldn't refuse... I was on cloud nine. I had everything. A job, the most handsome man on Earth ... and poof, he was gone. Just like that. He had his driver take me to a suite he had rented in an ultra-chic hotel ... No explanation. Nothing. Zilch.
I hurled my ballerina pumps to the other end of the room. Never had a man put me in a state like this. I have never revealed so much. And what did I get as a result? More humiliation! But what did he want exactly? Why did he come and get me from Jess's aunt if it was just to get rid of me? When will he stop playing with my nerves? Or maybe he had a good excuse? No, impossible. If he had time to rent the suite and send Steven, he could have found the time to call me. I looked at the screen of my cell phone again... No calls.
I paced the room like a caged lion ... I had no idea what to do. Wait patiently for him to give me some sign of life? Not ask any questions? Suffer? No, that was more than I could bear.
But why was he acting like this? Was it to punish me for running away? To show me that he held the reins? Or was it just that he had very little respect for me and that it was quite natural that he behaved like this...
When all arguments failed me, I decided to take a shower in the luxurious bathroom ... at least if I didn't have a clear mind, I'd be clean and relaxed. I washed myself, going over the same areas of my body that Sacha had explored earlier in the day ... These memories made me shiver, although some places were still a little sore. How could it be possible that just a few hours earlier, the union of our two bodies had transported us to an unprecedented ecstasy? Could he just up and leave me now without having any feelings for me? So many questions and no answers ... And if I just left? If I went back to Paris, right now? No, I couldn't leave. Not like this. Not now. Not without an explanation. I decided that I would give myself a bit of time, at least until the next day, to make a decision. I was tired, troubled and unable to think calmly. After all, perhaps he had a good reason to leave without telling me. Maybe he was moping alone in his hotel room? And what if I called him? Um ... no. Bad idea. I didn't want him to think that he had me under his thumb...
I quickly dried myself and decided I should do some work. After all, I had a new job (in theory) and I was putting a big step in my career on the line. I didn't want to lose it over a love story... however intense and complicated it might be.
I took a diet Coke from the mini bar (all expenses paid for by him) and settled in the lounge with my laptop propped on my knees. I began by looking at the latest studies on the economic health of the Asian market and its most promising sectors ... but it wasn't long before I typed, almost absentmindedly, Sacha's name into the search engine.
His career, his charity work, his company ... I didn't think I would find so many documents mentioning his name. Then I clicked on "Images".
I shouldn't have.
There was not a single picture of him alone. The tabloids had had a great time documenting his multiple conquests. Always accompanied by a brunette, blonde, or chestnut ... he was obviously not very fussy! No redheads, though. I could boast that I was the first! Each one
more beautiful than the last... He had been seen and photographed with all these women. A lump rose in my throat. Did he hide them in a luxury suite? Involuntary tears sprung up in my eyes. I scrolled down the page ... Natalia appeared on several photos. I couldn't help making a face. A stunning blonde appeared quite often as well. I clicked for more information. She was the daughter of a wealthy oil tycoon. A Texan. “Has Sacha Goodman finally found the rare pearl?” The tabloid insisted that the two lovebirds looked very much in love! I returned to the photos ... and clicked on a new photo of Sacha with the blonde. She was beautiful and he was radiant. Not at all like the aloof and cold Sacha as he sometimes seemed to me. The article didn't specifically refer to them. It was just a photo caption, a photo taken at a charity gala: "Sacha Goodman and his fiancée, Allison Green, daughter of Bob Green".
His fiancée? What was this all about? He's engaged? Married perhaps? Was the loft a kind of bachelor pad?
Without asking any more questions or trying to understand, I firmly closed the screen of my laptop.
Enough. I had had enough. I would not allow him to hurt me anymore.
At the same moment, my phone vibrated, then rang. "Sacha" flashed on the screen.
I was so livid that I grabbed the phone and threw it against the wall of the suite. It shattered and ended up on the ground, silent. It would never ring again.
I fell onto my bed and fell asleep sobbing, exhausted by so many emotions.
The shrill ringing woke me. I opened one eye. It was daylight. Still half asleep, I answered without thinking, breathing a sleepy "hello" into the handset that was on the bedside table.
"Dammit, Liz! Why aren't you answering your mobile phone? It's on voice mail. I called dozens of times! I want to be able reach you anytime!"
Sacha was obviously very wound up. I sat straight up in the bed. His angry voice hit me like a cold shower.
"What, is this some kind of a joke?" I yelled into the phone. "Why is my phone on voice mail? And why did you leave without saying anything?"
"Aha, so that's what this is all about..." He seemed to be gloating on the other end of the line. "Are you angry? Do you understand now?"
"Do I understand? No, I don't actually..."
"Well, you should ... I just showed you what can happen when you behave like a little girl, Miss Lanvin ... And unlike you, I called you last night ... but you didn't answer!"
"I don't need you to lecture me, Sasha. I apologized for last time, what more do you want? I feel as if I'm back in the school playground..."
"That's true! But I'll take care of this... You need to get a few lessons in manners, young lady ... and I intend to give you a few private lessons ... um ... very private ... I want to tame you, wild child!"
His voice took on a very different tone ... it was hot and very sensual. He was winning me over! I gave up any desire to fight, to take over, to make him pay ... I was just relieved that he'd called and our story was not over. I didn't need anything else for now. The certainty that at some point I was going to be able to curl up in his arms was enough to make me let my guard down completely. I was wrong, no doubt about that.
"I don't need any lessons, I said in a tone full of hidden meanings ... I could give you a few by the way, watch out ..."
"Um ... I think that could please me ... you as the schoolmistress ... but later! For now, you need to hurry and pack your bags. Your plane leaves for Hong Kong in two hours!"
"What? Uh, I mean, sorry? Hong Kong? Two hours? Impossible, I'm still in bed..."
"If you had answered the phone yesterday, you would have been able to organize yourself accordingly!"
Unbelievable, he always manages to shut me up.
"But, uh, no ... wait ... I can't..."
"Come on, hurry up," he said. "You are expected in Hong Kong. We are meeting potential clients. You don't want to be reprimanded when you have just taken on a new position, do you?"
"My new job? But I haven't said that I've accepted it yet..."
"Are you refusing it?" he cut in dryly.
"No, of course not..." (So much for me making an impact.)
"In that case, you have a plane to catch in two hours."
The minute he hung up, there was a knock at the door. Oh boy, everything felt completely muddled. In my head, in my life and in this suite ... Everything, absolutely everything, was just surprises, back pedaling and questions. My head was spinning and I couldn't think clearly.
Steven asked me if I was ready as we had to leave immediately for the airport.
Ready? No, of course I wasn't ready! I was still in my pajamas. There was no time to take a shower, and I quickly grabbed whatever clothes I could lay my hands on and shoved what I could into the bag. Fortunately, I hadn't unpacked yet.
I dashed into the bathroom, turbo-brushed my teeth, grabbed whatever I could and followed Steven. No question of missing the plane.
The airport, the flight and the landing passed in a flash. And even better, I slept the whole way, which stopped me going over and over the same questions about Sacha. Why doesn't he just let me go? Who is that blonde? What exactly is the nature of his relationship with Natalia? Is he really married? No, surely not ... But most of all: where did I fit in to all this? I felt I couldn't compete with all these women (and obviously there were many of them!) who had been a part of his life. I think this is what hurt me the most. Whenever I thought about it, it felt like a blade being rammed into my stomach. Would I just be his mistress? A maid-servant that is hidden away ... I didn't expect him to officialize our "relationship" (if it could be called a relationship?). That was not what I wanted or needed. But the idea that I would only be some fifth wheel, no matter what happened, was excruciatingly painful. I couldn't bear to be the last resort. No way.
When I arrived in Hong Kong I didn't even bother going to the bathroom. I knew he would probably just send one of his blokes to pick up the "delivery". So, no need to overdo it. I'd have plenty of time to wash and change at the hotel.
As I pushed my little trolley towards the exit, I just about choked (and fell onto the trolley) when I saw the tall figure detach himself from the crowd that had come to welcome the passengers.
Oh my God ... I looked like a slob. I hadn't even had time to shower before I left ... I started sweating and blushing at the same time, desperately trying to make myself small. I glanced to the right and to the left, carefully avoiding his direction. There was no way out. If I really prayed, maybe I would be able to completely disappear under the trolley!
Oh, woe is me...
I was totally panicked and made as if I was going to turn back, pretending to have forgotten something in the toilet.
"Liz? Liz? Yoo-hoo? Are you blind or what? Is something wrong?"
Sacha's stature dominated me. His jade-green eyes were planted on my flushed face. His raised eyebrow amplified his curiosity.
"Oh, no, uh ... sorry ... it's just that I thought ... well ... I didn't think you'd come in person ... I would have been a bit ... how should I put it ...refreshed, that's it ... refreshed ... if I had known that ... you'd be here..."
His laugh echoed across the airport hall like a rocket, making me jump!
"Liz, you're really ... uh, how can I say this ... priceless, that's it, priceless," he said mockingly, grabbing me by the shoulders.
I blushed even more and, apart from feeling terribly ridiculous, I just felt terrible.
He discreetly kissed me on the forehead. He would have to wait for a warmer reception! He stepped back, grabbed my trolley and said happily:
"Let's go straight to the hotel, I think you need a good bath!"
We took a taxi across the city. It was hot and humid. I kept my distance on the back seat where I was dripping with sweat, Sacha didn't seek any contact either. He was busy talking to a client on the phone. Wide-eyed, I took in every second of this nocturnal urban sight. The city was buzzing with men and women who moved like ants looking for sugar. Bright billboards hung on every corner of the wall
s and facades, giving the impression of an endless garland of fire, of a city never really knew the darkness of the night. I was blown away, enthralled by what was being offered to me. Hong Kong wasn't like New York. Hong Kong was unique.
The taxi stopped and I reluctantly tore myself away from the back seat. Sacha used this opportunity to bid his client farewell. I was dead tired from all the travelling, the jet lag and the rest, but I didn't want to miss a minute of this new adventure.
A porter opened the door and we entered a huge hall, done out entirely in marble and stained glass, reflections of the most luxurious establishments. Sacha led me to the elevator; we were still being escorted by a porter who carried my luggage. Even if he seemed unfazed, Sacha slipped a hand under my T-shirt in the elevator ... I felt an electric shock on contact with his palm and could not help my breasts from reacting. Sacha noticed this immediately, of course. Sacha, an elevator and me? It's true that elevators have always had a shocking effect on me.
As I expected, the suite was highly sophisticated, with a contemporary design and discreet luxury, like a cocoon. I felt at home straight away and walked in silence over to the huge bay window overlooking the sea. It was pitch black and it looked as if the sea was breathing. The reflections of the city made it look luminescent. The night ahead held many promises.
Sacha took leave of the porter and approached me from behind. I was about to turn around to face him and talk, but he placed a finger on my mouth...
"Shh!" he said softly in my ear, stroking the lobe. "From now on, don't say a word, I will handle everything, I will deal with you ... If you talk, I'll stop!"
OK! I was just as surprised as I was excited by this game. I let myself be guided.
Sacha pulled me towards the small upholstered armchair that faced the bay window and forced me to sit down. I looked at him, a little taken aback, but a bit amused as well. He always had this special way of putting me in the best position, so to speak. When I wasn't with him, I was obsessed with all kinds of questions. When I was with him, I was possessed.