The Ending Series: The Complete Series

by Lindsey Fairleigh

  Without another word, I walked away from the fire, away from prying ears and distracting chatter, toward a shack that temporarily housed our things. Jason’s footsteps were heavy and methodical behind me, but stopped as I slowed in front of the shack and turned to face him.

  “It’s about Dani,” I said. “I didn’t want the others to know…she’s going to be upset that I’ve told you as it is.”

  Jason’s jaw clenched, and I could feel the concern rolling off him in waves.

  Biting the inside of my cheek, I considered my words carefully. “I know things have been beyond crazy lately, but I also know you’ve been worried about her—”

  “You saw how she reacted the night of the drifters—of course I’ve been worried.”

  With a curt nod, I said, “Right, but it’s more than that, Jason.”

  “She’s having a hard time dealing with all the loss…” He shrugged one shoulder, clearly trying to seem less concerned than he was. “I think she’s just been through a lot and needs some time to work through it.” I felt a spike of defensiveness come from him.

  I shook my head slightly and tried not to sound too sympathetic as I explained, knowing he wouldn’t appreciate it. “She can’t stop drifting. It’s become an addiction for her, something her body seems to want, even if she doesn’t. But once she saw what happened to Scott and the other drifter in that band of wild men…let’s just say it doesn’t matter how badly she wants to stop, she’s not in control of it when she’s sleeping. She can’t fight it on her own.” I paused, allowing myself to breathe and letting Jason absorb the truth.

  “Why—” He shook his head, both understanding and denial battling within him. “Why didn’t she tell me?” His composure cracked, making his voice hoarse.

  I felt like I should comfort him, but I didn’t dare. “She’s embarrassed, Jason. She hasn’t told anyone. I’m the only one who knows anything about it at all—and not because she’s confided in me.” I peered into his troubled blue eyes. They were almost glowing in the moonlight. “I know Dani needs you.”

  Jason took a long, deep breath and then another. “Yeah, okay. Just tell me what to do.” From the desperate plea in his eyes, I could tell that he would do anything to help Dani.

  “You can null her, like you did with me. You can make it so she can’t use her Ability at all, right?”

  Jason began pacing, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I can null her.”

  “Okay, so I’ll go find her, then? Bring her back here so we can talk to her together?”

  He shook his head. “No,” he said. “I’ll go.” He started striding back toward the carts.

  “I think she’s by—” I started to say.

  “I know where she is,” he said over his shoulder. “Meet me in the shack.”

  Ten minutes later, I was leaning against a stack of Rubbermaid tubs of food and cooking utensils when Jason and Dani entered through the open doorway. Dani seemed more than a little surprised to find me waiting inside.

  Pausing in the doorway, she looked at me, her eyebrows drawn together. “Did you figure out who the Monit—”

  “No, Dani,” I said. “This isn’t about that.”

  After a brief moment, shock and betrayal played on Dani’s exhausted features, and my guilt thickened. I felt like I was a horrible friend. She needs our help, I reminded myself.

  Jason tried to pull her further inside, but she dug in her heels, glaring at him and me in turn, suspicion emanating from her. “What is this?”

  “We came up with a plan…a plan to help you stop drifting,” I said.

  Her eyes flicked up to mine, little more than narrow slits of emerald, and she pulled her hand free from Jason’s grasp.

  I cleared my throat, trying to ignore the hurt and anger and shame radiating off of her. “I couldn’t not tell him, Dani. I’m sorry.”

  “So this is—what?” Again, she took the time to glare at each of us. “An intervention?” She laughed, harshly at first, though it quickly became high-pitched and despondent. “It won’t help. Nothing will.”

  Jason reclaimed her hand. “Red…”

  “No!” Dani shook her head rapidly and shoved him, or tried to shove him. “You don’t get it. I’m trying. I can’t make it stop!”

  “We know, Dani,” I rasped, stunned by the feral sound that had emanated from her. Her desperation and fear brought tears to my eyes. “Jason…” I looked to him, unable to speak.

  He stepped forward and took hold of her upper arms. “I’ll null you for a while, help keep your mind with you instead of drifting.”

  She stared at him, her eyes wide. “You—you’re sure you should do that? What about everyone else? What if they can’t use their Abilities—”

  “We’ll make it work, Red. I’m stronger now, I can control it more. I’ll make it work…”

  Without warning, she flung herself at Jason, clinging to him as her body shook. She was crying, but all I could feel coming from her was a sense of overwhelming relief.

  ~~~~~

  Lying in my sleeping bag that night, warm and cozy beside Jake, I stared up at the stars through the netted top of our tent, succumbing to every thought that filtered into my head. My mind failed to do what my body so desperately wanted—to rest.

  If I wasn’t thinking about my secret electrotherapy sessions with Gabe and Carlos and the dwindling hope that my memory would return, I was thinking about what had happened with Dani a couple hours earlier. Or I was thinking about my mom and the danger we were all in, or about Jason’s anguish and Sanchez’s and Carlos’s and Camille’s traumatizing pasts. I didn’t want to be the one who knew so many disturbing secrets, but I had to keep quiet because they weren’t my secrets to tell, they weren’t my problems to fix. At the moment, I just wanted my Ability to go away.

  With an audible exhale, Jake rolled over to face me.

  I looked at him, finding his shadowed eyes in the inky darkness.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, his hand clasping both of mine, which were folded on my chest. “Are you worried about Dani?”

  I turned onto my side to face him completely. I could’ve lied, I could’ve told him that I just couldn’t sleep. After all, he would never know what I was really thinking. But I didn’t want to pretend nothing was bothering me anymore. “I’m thinking about secrets, actually, and how much I hate them.”

  “Secrets?” He said it with a hint of intrigue.

  “Not the good kind,” I clarified.

  Jake was quiet for a moment. Over the last few nights, we’d been slowly slipping into a routine that was familiar to him, but was strange to me, and, at times, awkward for both of us. Although he was happy enough being with me, I knew it wasn’t the same for him. Still, he tried, and he did love the new me in his own way, which was as much as I could’ve hoped for.

  “I know things about people, too many things,” I whispered, not wanting to think about me a moment longer. I wanted to get the corrosive thoughts out of my head…I needed to get them out in the open.

  Jake was quiet.

  “Dani’s losing herself to drifting. Jason’s going to try to help her overcome it, but…” I listened to Jake’s deep, even breaths before I continued, hoping that airing out the haunting thoughts in my mind would make me feel better, lighter. “Dani’s contact at the Colony, the woman who saved me back at Colorado Springs, is my mom. She created the Virus, and that night you found me in the house, she’d left me with a letter for Jason and me.” I balled my pillow up underneath my head, wanting to be at eye level with Jake. “She has another family now…she says we’re in danger, that some of the people we trust might try to hurt us…”

  I knew I shouldn’t be telling him any of it—these were dangerous secrets, private, powerful secrets, and the more people who knew them, the more danger Jason and I were in—but simply voicing them made it easier to breathe, like my lungs could finally expand fully and the tension in my mind could ease.

  “Please don’t
tell anyone.”

  Jake squeezed my hands and wrapped his arm around my back, pulling me closer to him. “I won’t,” he promised. I entwined my legs with his, feeling more solace lying in his arms than I’d ever felt before. “But if you’re in danger—”

  “There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing any of us can do. We just have to pretend we don’t know.”

  “But, Zoe…”

  “I’ve got my feelers out, and Jason and Dani and Gabe are on the lookout, too. I’ll be fine.”

  Although I could sense Jake’s extreme dissatisfaction, could feel the tension it caused in his body, he left the topic alone, his touch soothing me despite his internal struggle.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I shouldn’t have told you. There’s nothing you can do about it, and it’s not your burden to bear.”

  “Shhh,” he murmured. “I’m glad you told me. I just wish I could do something to help…”

  After an hour of us lying there silently, Jake comforting me, my mind finally relented, and I drifted to sleep. My dreams were a patchwork of nonsensical images—images of Becca surrounded by an army of Re-gens mixed with images of Dani and Jason, and of Jake and me, the other me…

  In a barn filled with morning sunlight streaming in through cobwebbed and broken windows, Jake and I lay on a bed of sleeping bags, laughing uncontrollably. I wriggled in his arms, trying to get away from his relentless tickling. His baritone laugh and my squealing were an ear-piercing chorus, but I savored the sound nonetheless. Our combined laughter resonated painfully deep.

  “Seriously, Jake, stop! I’m going to pee my pants!” I pulled at his arms, trying to pry them from my body, but he tightened his hold and buried his face into the crook of my neck.

  “You’re mine today…all day,” he said, his voice held a hint of promise, and my insides warmed. I ceased my wiggling and looked over my shoulder at him. Jake’s amber eyes were gleaming. Keeping his eyes on mine, he smiled and placed a kiss on my shoulder. His hold on me loosened, and I rolled over to face him.

  He grinned wolfishly, melting my heart.

  “You’re a bad influence,” I said as casually as possible. “Who will do my chores if I stay in here with you?”

  Jake shrugged. “You can say I held you hostage.”

  “Oh, I kinda like that idea,” I said and sat up. Slowly, I pulled off my t-shirt to expose my bare chest and flung my shirt into the corner of the barn. “But what if we change it up a bit?” I pushed him onto his back and crawled up on top of him.

  “Yeah?” he asked. “How so?” His eyes danced with a combination of desire and amusement.

  “What if it’s me who won’t let you leave? I’d be the captor, you the victim.”

  Jake chuckled. “I don’t think that’s very realistic…sorry.”

  I tilted my head, ignoring his taunt. “Are you sure I’m so innocent? Black widows—”

  “I never said you were innocent,” Jake clarified, sitting up and rolling me over onto my back. “You definitely aren’t innocent.” He pulled me beneath him, his strong legs entangling with mine, holding me in place while his gaze trailed from my mouth to my chest and over my exposed breasts. A salacious grin spread over his lips. “But I’m definitely the captor.”

  I laughed eagerly this time, impatient to feel his lips on mine, to feel his body pressed against me.

  Equally impatient, he lowered his mouth to mine, one hand knotting in my hair while the other slid down the length of my body to squeeze my thigh.

  He groaned in wanting.

  My eyes fluttered open. The tent was still encased in darkness. That hadn’t been my dream; it had belonged to Jake. He’d been dreaming of her.

  He groaned beside my ear, and my blood heated to near boiling. I’d never been so aroused. Dreaming about him on my own was one thing, but sharing a dream was another matter entirely. I wanted to feel adored and loved and coveted like that Zoe. I wanted to feel his hands on my body and his lips devouring me.

  Hearing him groan again was too much. Feeling what he was feeling as he dreamed about me was too much. I couldn’t ignore it, not this time. I wanted to reclaim something of my old self.

  Rolling over to face him, I tried to gather the courage to wake him up, to do something—anything—that would satisfy the emergent, burning need inside me. I trusted Jake more than I trusted anyone, so why hadn’t I given him this? Why hadn’t I given it to myself?

  “Jake,” I said quietly, not wanting to frighten him awake. I perched on my elbow, watching him closely. “Jake.”

  He didn’t stir.

  I tried again, this time leaning closer. “Jake, wake up.”

  When he still didn’t, I swallowed my apprehension and did what I thought she would’ve done. I leaned down and brushed a kiss across his lips, hoping that would wake him. It was both petrifying and enlivening. While part of me feared he would reject my advances, another part of me felt a thrill of excitement that he wouldn’t. The possibility of acceptance outweighed my hesitation, and I kissed him again, this time letting my tongue sample the curve of his soft lips. It was a kiss that felt different than others we’d shared; it was sneaky and felt dangerous, but I liked it.

  Finally, Jake stirred. His lingering desire quickly gave way to confusion and then to a hazy curiosity.

  His curiosity was reassurance enough for me. I leaned in further and kissed him again, more fervently, and this time, he kissed me back. His lips were soft and warm, and the whiskers around them tickled my mouth as I leaned deeper into him, as I kissed him harder…more desperately.

  In the darkness, with my eyes flitting open and my heartbeat pounding in my ears, I felt one of Jake’s hands cup the side of my face. He exuded the barest amount of pressure as he gently pulled away. The soft pad of his thumb rubbed my cheek, a tender, asking gesture, before he leaned in and rested his forehead against mine, letting out a steadying breath.

  Not wanting to give him enough time to push me away, I pressed my mouth to his again, seeking out his tongue with my own. He needed to know that this was what I wanted—that he was what I wanted.

  Placing my hand against his chest, I let his growing lust fuel my own. The desire to feel his hard, naked chest beneath my fingertips flooded my thoughts, and I reached for the hem of his t-shirt.

  Understanding what I wanted, Jake sat up, pulling his shirt off over his head and tossing it out of the way. His sudden haste was intimidating, and I hedged as he leaned into me. Despite the fantasy I wanted to play out for him, the dream that was still so vivid in both of our minds, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I felt inadequate, and as much as I yearned to feel him inside me, I was petrified.

  Slowly, Jake reached forward, tucking my hair behind one ear. His tenderness was an unspoken promise that he understood my fears, that he would be gentle. With another world-altering kiss that left me feeling lightheaded, I nearly melted into an aroused, malleable heap in his arms.

  Guiding me down onto my back, Jake lowered himself onto his elbow and leaned over me, covering part of my fully clothed body with his. His fingers trailed around the outline of my face, his lips brushing against mine before he kissed the tip of my nose and the sensitive skin beneath my ear, each offering putting my nerves at ease and sending my heart soaring.

  I tilted my head, giving him access to more skin, while my hands explored the planes of his chest—the soft skin and corded muscle—soliciting a delicious, aching feeling I never wanted to forget…that I never wanted to go away.

  I let everything Jake was feeling drive my instincts. When his breathing quickened, so did mine, and my heart pounded so loudly I was certain he could hear it. When he pressed his hips against me, I pulled him closer. When he groaned, I tightened my grip on him. When he removed my clothes, running his rough hands over my stomach and breasts, immortalizing my body, I did the same with him.

  I memorized the feel of the muscles spanning over his shoulders and back. Every single touch was euphoric, every hot puff of bre
ath against my skin devastating. And every quiver of his body sent ripples of exhilaration through mine.

  I inhaled the alluring smell of him. I tasted him. I finally, truly felt him.

  Just as he’d silently promised, Jake made love to me like it was our first time—like I was the virginal novice I felt like. His touch was tender, but skilled and greedy, his movements slow, but impassioned.

  And when we were through, when I could no longer think and our bodies trembled with fatigue and satisfaction and we lay in each other’s arms, I tried to ignore his emotions. I wanted to bask in my own euphoria, get lost in my own thoughts, and replay every moment of what we’d just done, but that was impossible. Jake’s emotions were amplified and raw.

  Although he wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling the inside of my neck, I couldn’t help the burn I felt as, inside him, his contentment warred against an insatiable longing for someone else, for someone I could never be.

  19

  DANI

  MAY 1, 1AE

  Fallon, Nevada

  “You’re mad at me,” I said as I pulled off my jeans, exchanging them for black leggings.

  Jason was kneeling in the corner of the tent, his back to me as he rummaged through his pack. He didn’t say anything, didn’t confirm or deny my statement, but his shoulders stiffened, and his back straightened.

  “Because I hid my—my problem from you?” I unclasped my bra and slipped it off without removing my t-shirt.

  Jason exhaled heavily. “You should have told me.” He’d said those exact words to me once before, when we’d finally reunited in Bodega Bay after I received Cece’s death threat and fled with Jack and Wings.

  He faced me, the emotionless statue I’d come to know so well. “You should have told me about the note when you first read it. We could have figured it out together.”

  “I know.” The realization may have come slowly, but I knew that whatever happened, whatever threat loomed ahead, Jason and I would face it together. He needed to know that I believed in him…depended on him…trusted him. “I’m so sorry, Jason. I won’t leave you again.”