“She’s mine!” the blonde woman shrieked beside me.
The doctor took a few forceful steps forward. “I’m warning you, Clara,” she said.
Clara. I knew she was familiar.
“Get your fucking hands off my daughter or I’ll—”
My insides knotted. I’m the doctor’s daughter…
I gasped and doubled over as a clawing pain seized my heart.
“Shhh…they’ll find you. You’ll be safe.” My mom reached out and cupped the side of my face with trembling hands. Tears spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here fast enough…I’m so sorry, Zoe.”
A barrage of images and emotions assailed me, and I tried to stifle a violent sob. I fought for breath as they overtook my senses, unable to stop them.
I saw evil.
Clara.
She laughed and simpered and schemed…and she poisoned me.
I saw the fire…she killed Stacey and Dave and Tanya, and nearly killed Jake.
Now she was gone…I hit her over the head with a branch. Once. Twice. She didn’t get back up.
I killed her. I killed Clara…
“…can you hear me?” Is that Gabe? I couldn’t tell anymore.
Jake was holding me, an embrace so protective and warm I thought I’d never feel so loved again.
He saved my life—the men in the woods—the poison.
But then he was leaving—he was going to break my heart and leave me empty and alone.
“Jake…” I rasped. Arms were around my shoulders, someone holding me against them.
“Zoe, can you hear me?” Gabe asked, his voice earnest.
“You need to answer him, Zoe.” It was Chris holding me, I vaguely realized. Her voice was like a warm blanket I wanted to wrap around myself.
I tried to nod, to reassure them, but I couldn’t.
I could hear Chris whispering and feel her voice reverberating in her chest. The deafening pain and emotional onslaught was muted by her touch, but not gone. It thrummed through me, impossible to avoid.
More memories suffused my mind, and I lost myself within them.
I saw my friends.
Sarah flashed in my mind. She was laughing and grinning from ear to ear.
She was my only constant in the ravaged, lonely world we lived in. She trained beside me, faster and stronger…and pregnant. She was my friend now, the days when she’d been a thorn in my side long gone.
…she brought me comfort in Dani’s absence.
Dani was in my arms, her wild hair clinging to my tear-dampened face. Her wide, shrewd green eyes luminous with fierce love.
I’d thought I had lost her. I thought I would never see her again. But there she was, standing in front of me.
…she was upset.
“I know about the box, Zoe.”
Familiar whispers danced around my ears, talking about getting help and finding someone, but I couldn’t pay attention…all I could see was the box.
Dad’s box…Mom’s letter to Dad.
Jason and I opened it. We learned the truth.
She’d left us. She’d abandoned us and Dad had lied. We’d been cheated out of the truth for so long…we’d been cheated out of a real family.
There was so much pain, so much misery and loneliness. I cried out as I remembered the desperation I’d felt to learn the truth of what happened to her, to have closure. I cried out at the realization of what our lives had become—nothing but a patched-up quilt with tattered emotions and relationships hanging on by mere threads. There was so much strain, so much distance…
I was lying in bed, a little girl, scared after a bad dream—the bad dream about the faceless woman I wanted to know so badly.
I saw my disheveled dad trying to explain to me why I couldn’t see pictures of my mom…that she was gone.
Now he was gone. I would never see my dad again.
My mom’s face appeared in my mind again. Her eyes boring into mine, the emotion now so clear, so haunting.
She was real.
She was the creator of the Virus.
She was the mother I never had and the mom I’d always wanted.
She was alive.
She had another family.
I had met her, but…
I’d never felt so near to bursting. The heartache and anger and despair were alive and gnawing inside me, overwhelming me until I felt hollow and raw. My throat burned with each violent sob. My chest ached from lack of air.
Chris’s arms were around me, holding onto me as if I was about to crumble away.
I saw her boys, and I saw me in her arms.
I felt her fear melding with mine, her regret tasting sour in my mouth, and her concern, that which a mother might have for her daughter, made it impossible to breathe. I wanted my mom. I was angry and afraid of my mom.
I grasped onto Chris desperately, tearing my eyes open, needing to see light in the darkness. Blurred trees and brightness filled my vision.
“Take a deep breath,” she whispered, and shakily, I did. The softness of her voice soothed me as my mind began to settle, each memory falling back into place as if it had all simply been a bad dream. But it was real, all of it. It was my life.
I had Dani and Jake and Jason. But my mom was out there, a stranger who’d abandoned me in order to save me—more than once. I’d met her. I wasn’t even me… A new sense of desperation and regret sprouted inside me, but I buried it away.
“Where’s Gabe?” I asked hoarsely, trying to control each breath.
“He went to find Dani,” Chris whispered.
I let out a choked, happy sob at the thought of having my Dani with me. With a steadying breath, I righted myself, trying to harness the emotions overcrowding me. I just need to let them settle again…
21
JAKE
MAY 7, 1AE
Lake Tahoe, Nevada
Jake stood at the supply cart in the Zephyr Cove campground parking lot, across the highway from the lodge, ready to take inventory of the weapons in the duffel bag he and Jason had filled during their morning scavenging trip to Emerald Bay with Hunter and Holly. The sun was warm on his back, and although the snow was still melting off the mountains surrounding the lake, making the air crisp in the shade, the sun was shining intensely enough to stave off the chill.
Unzipping the duffel, Jake rifled around inside for loose ammo. Against his better judgment, he’d been thinking a lot more than was productive. Ever since Zoe told him about her mom, Dr. Wesley, thinking about the doctor brought his anger to near boiling, and the unfathomable truth about what she’d done turned his anger to rage. Of course Zoe’s mother would end up being alive and the destroyer of all that Jake held dear in his life. And Zoe didn’t need to feel that living, churning hatred every time she was around him. He didn’t blame her, not in the slightest, but he couldn’t change what he felt about her mother, either.
So Jake clung to the few happy memories he had left of the past, memories of Joe’s farm, of rebuilding tractor engines, working on cars, and patching fences around the property. But then Jake wondered if Joe was even still alive, and his thoughts went full circle, back to Zoe and Becca…back to the doctor.
For months Jake had blamed himself for bringing Clara along with him when he first left Colorado Springs—he still did—but he wasn’t the only one to blame. It was Dr. Wesley’s fault that Clara had been able to manipulate people the way she could in the first place, and essentially it was the doctor’s fault that Zoe was only half the person she’d once been, and that his sister was a Re-gen. Jake paused from unloading the bag, forcing himself to loosen his grip on the hunting knife he held in his hand.
Hearing hurried footsteps on the asphalt in front of him, Jake ignored their approach and set the hunting knife and then a bundle of arrows and a new crossbow he’d collected for Zoe on the cart bed.
“Jake,” Gabe called, breathless as he jogged nearer.
Jake looked up, and upon seeing
Gabe’s eyes opened wide and filled with what looked like a frenzy of concern and excitement, he straightened. “What is it?”
Gabe rubbed the back of his neck and let out a calming breath. “Ah, I think Zoe’s memory is back. She’s—”
“What?” Jake frowned. That didn’t seem likely, and he was scared to hope. “How?” With the back of his hand, he wiped away the sweat beading on his brow.
“I’ve been working with her on this for a while, and—” Gabe stopped himself and sighed. “It doesn’t matter right now. I’ll fill you in later.” He pointed across the highway, toward the beach.
When Jake saw two figures coming up through the interspersed evergreens blocking most of the lake view, his heartbeat quickened. Zoe and Chris were walking closely, slowly, with one of Chris’s arms around Zoe’s shoulders. Zoe’s ponytail was disheveled, and there was something about the way she walked, like the weight of a wretched lifetime took the bounce out of her step.
Jake’s mouth went dry. Swallowing, he glanced back to Gabe, incredulous.
His friend watched the women approach, hands in his pockets.
Jake’s attention shifted back to Zoe. The soles of her tennis shoes—not her boots—softly padding against the pavement, and the black t-shirt she’d been wearing most frequently—not her favorite purple one—were just a few of the many reminders that she was different from the woman he’d first fallen in love with. Or was she?
After a few seconds of silence, Gabe met Jake’s gaze again and shrugged. “It just sort of happened,” he said, and even though Gabe smiled, it wasn’t cocky and confident like it usually was.
Jake felt uneasy. If Gabe wasn’t sure exactly what had happened, maybe it wasn’t entirely a good thing.
“Just go,” Gabe said, pointing toward her.
Wiping his shaking hands off on his pants, Jake took long, slow strides in Zoe’s direction. Her eyes were locked on the ground, and he could faintly hear the sound of her voice as she chatted with Chris.
He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Zoe, hope and guilt mixing into a poisonous concoction inside him. If Gabe was wrong, Jake wasn’t sure he’d be able to forgive himself for hoping she’d returned to the person she used to be, for letting this Zoe feel his disappointment.
Fisting his hands at his sides, Jake stopped in the middle of the highway. He needed more time to process what might be happening. But the moment Zoe’s gaze met his, her steps faltered until, like him, she was still. He searched her face for recognition, for some indication of what was going on in her head, for proof that she’d returned.
His brow knitted together as he watched her bright eyes widen, her dark eyebrows raise, and her mouth open slightly as if she were about to say something. Three agonizingly long heartbeats passed before she moved.
At first, she seemed to hesitate, like she was trying to compose herself, but she quickly gave up and ran to him. A choked sob escaped from her throat as she jumped into his arms, wrapped her legs around his hips, and encircled her arms around his neck, gripping him so tight, so unrestrained, and with so much emotion he thought he must be dreaming.
Stunned into disbelief by the woman trembling against him, Jake wrapped one arm around her back, pulling her away from him slightly with the other. He needed to see her to understand.
Searching her eyes, Jake found the old spark he’d missed, the determination and tenacity he’d seen only on rare occasion over the past weeks, but most importantly he found recognition of the two of them and everything they’d been through.
Her teal eyes, red-rimmed and swollen, were no longer cast in uncertainty and frustration; instead they were cisterns of unbridled torment and longing, filling with so much emotion he couldn’t deny the truth: she was back.
In his silence, her eyes frantically searched his.
“How…” Jake couldn’t tear his gaze from hers, didn’t want to. “I didn’t even know…”
Pushing against his hold, she wrapped her arms around his neck again, leaving not a hairsbreadth between them. “I didn’t want you to know,” she sobbed. “In case it didn’t work.”
For the first time in weeks, he could feel her, his Zoe. She was more real to him now, shaking in his arms, than she’d seemed in weeks.
Though he tried not to, Jake’s mind sifted through their more recent time together, some of the memories knotting up and burning deep in his gut. Suddenly, everything that had happened between them while her memory had been gone felt…wrong.
“Don’t,” Zoe said softly, her lips brushing against his neck. “Don’t think about it, not right now.”
Squeezing her tighter, Jake breathed her in, the scent of her hair, the feel of her body against his…this felt right, and he let himself revel in the moment.
“I don’t understand how that’s possible,” Sarah shrieked. “How’d she get her memory back? And if she did, the last thing she’s gonna want is all of you fussing all over her.” Her voice echoed among the trees lining the road as she drew closer, the mumbling of the others drowned out by her scolding.
Hesitantly, Jake opened his eyes, reluctant to let Zoe go.
She leaned back, a fierce glint in her eyes as she looked at him. He never wanted to look away, never wanted to leave the sanctuary he found in her familiar gaze.
“You didn’t give up on me,” she said, offering him a brief smile before she pressed a hungry kiss to his mouth. “I’m so sorry I ran off. I didn’t mean to. Clara tricked me. I heard Dani’s voice, and—”
“Shhh…” Holding her against him with one arm, he wiped the drying tears from her cheeks with his free hand. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Cupping the back of her head, Jake brought her mouth to his once more, his kiss slow and deep and reassuring, showing her all that he couldn’t say. But then he stopped and frowned at her. “But please, don’t do it again.”
She smiled and made a disparaging noise at first, but then she frowned. “My mom—Dr. Wesley came to save me…but I killed Clara…”
Jake brushed a loose strand of hair from her face. “I know. Now she can’t hurt you anymore,” he said, trying to offer her a beacon of light in the darkness shadowing her eyes.
Hearing the others approaching, Jake released her, allowing her to ease her feet down to the pavement, and was relieved when he felt her fingers lace through his.
He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Will you be alright?”
Zoe nodded, eyes lazily blinking closed as she let out a deep breath. “I’ll be fine. It’s just a lot to take in.”
“Zoe!” Sarah squealed, stopping short behind Jake, with Harper, Biggs, and some of the others in tow. The click of Cooper’s nails on the asphalt preceded him as he loped toward them.
Zoe rubbed the top of his head. “Hey, Coop.”
Gabe called the husky back, giving Jake and Zoe their last few moments together before the swarm.
Cooper obeyed, and Zoe straightened, quickly wiping any remaining wetness from her face and taking another deep breath.
Jake offered her a sympathetic smile and nodded behind him toward the bickering voices. “I’m not sure I’m ready to lose you to the mob yet.” He wished he could hold her a little longer…forever.
Stepping into him, Zoe rose to her tiptoes and pressed another long, promising kiss to his mouth. “I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered. “After all,” she added, “we have to make up for lost time and all that…” Her eyes drifted to his mouth as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.
Jake groaned and squeezed her hand tighter. “Jesus, Zoe.”
When she stepped away, she smiled impishly, making his heart squeeze with extreme happiness. But despite her playfulness, Jake could still see the tumultuous emotions roiling behind her stormy eyes.
“Zoe?” Sarah called again.
As the seconds passed, and Zoe didn’t move past him to greet their friends, Jake leaned down, his lips brushing against her ear as he asked, “What are you doing? They’re waiting for you…”
She let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t want to start bawling again.”
“Zoe! Are you ignoring us?” Sarah huffed. “You better not be. I’m not as nice as I used to be. I might just freak out or something.”
Jake smiled and moved out of Zoe’s line of sight so she could see her friends. “She was just collecting herself,” he explained as he turned around to face them as well.
“What’s the point?” Sarah asked, throwing her arms around Zoe. “We’re just going to make you cry again, anyway.”
Jake smiled as he watched the two women hug, but their interaction was different than he’d expected. It was no surprise to him that Sarah was sobbing within seconds, but even though Zoe was trying to comfort her, she seemed a little hesitant.
“It’s not that I didn’t like the other you,” Sarah blathered. “But it wasn’t the same, and then I thought about the babies, and I know Harper needs you, and I need you. I’m…” She let out a despondent wail and sobbed harder.
“It’s alright, Sarah.” Zoe gave her another squeeze before pulling away.
Biggs smiled at Zoe, offered her a nod, and wrapped Sarah in his arms to soothe her.
Jake watched Zoe slowly grow more and more comfortable around everyone as they bantered back and forth, doing their best to make her feel at home and welcome once again.
What must it have been like for her over the past month and a half? He could only imagine how much more difficult it had been for her than for the rest of them…so much so that she’d been trying to get her memory back in secret.
Ky wandered up and said hello and teased her, but only until Harper came pushing through the crowd and swooped her up into his arms. “It’s about time, Baby Girl. I was beginning to worry I’d never have you back again. I need another pair of hands.” Harper smiled at Jake as he spun Zoe around.
The Ending Series: The Complete Series Page 112