King of Hell

by Melody Rose

  I grabbed my belt and darted after her, slipping my feet into my black leather boots as I went. After I was done hopping around on one foot and both boots were on, I put my gun belt on mid-route and followed her down the now-familiar dark tiled hallway to one of the magically changing rooms. Inside, the room was set up like an indoor gun range, but I immediately saw the twist.

  Downrange, there stood two men, faces solemn, hands clasped in front of them, standing still and staring straight ahead. I took my position at one of the lanes and noticed one of the men was lined up perfectly with my lane. No matter how much I looked around, there wasn’t a single paper target to be found.

  “No,” I muttered aloud. I felt the blood leave my face for the second day in a row.

  “So, here’s the deal. Paper is wasteful anyway, right? This kills two birds with one stone. We get target practice, they get punished.” Lilith gestured at the men. “Plus, they don’t die. They’re already dead. So we have self-healing targets and endless fun!”

  Hoping to build a better relationship with Lilith, and possibly gain a little more insight into Lucifer’s intentions, I swallowed my disgust and slowly nodded in agreement. “Okay, sounds good,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “Sounds good? Sounds great!” Lilith was stoked to be here and seemed to be oblivious to my discomfort. “It was my idea,” she added gleefully.

  She walked over to the safe built into the wall on the left side. When the door swung open, there were rows of pistols tucked in pockets inside the door, and an array of different rifles lined up before me. Lilith turned to me, excitement in her eyes, before pulling out a Walther PPK. She stepped aside to give me a better view. My eyes went right to the Colt 1911. It was the next purchase I wanted to make and having it in front of me seemed like it was meant to be. We walked back to our lanes to set up, me trembling the entire time, and she encouraged me to take the first shot. I was definitely shaken up by this whole idea, but I didn’t see a good way out of this. It seemed that no matter how many different sides to Hell I experienced, they ultimately all led to torture and damnation. I swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and let it out forcefully, shaking my hands out by my side, steeling myself for what I was about to do. I had shot people before, no doubt, but that was in war or in Lucifer’s case, self-defense. These people were… people.

  “They can’t get hurt?” I clarified, still insanely hesitant.

  “Oh, it’ll hurt,” Lilith replied, her voice tinged with anticipation and excitement. “But they won’t bleed. They won’t die. They’ll probably just scream in pain. Like, a lot.” Lilith shrugged nonchalantly as if we were discussing the weather or the stock report.

  “Err… okay.” I turned to face downrange and braced myself on the table before me, and then a thought occurred to me. I turned my head to face Lilith. “What did these guys do, anyway, to land them here?”

  Lilith raised her eyebrows. “Do you really want to know?” she asked. As if this could get any worse.

  “Yeah, I really do,” I replied in a low, hushed voice. “I think it may help.”

  “Okay.” Lilith pointed downrange at her target and spoke in a calm, casual voice. “This man was involved in sex trafficking.” She pointed to my target. “That man was a serial killer.” She dropped her hand and looked at me. “Do you want more details?”

  “Umm…” I was so sorry I had asked. “No, I’m good now.”

  I took another deep breath to prepare myself mentally for what I was about to do. I pointed the barrel of my gun downrange and aimed center mass, as I’d done so many times with paper targets, and I kept telling myself this was no different. The pad of my finger pressed against the trigger slowly, slowly, slowly…

  The sudden loss of resistance on the trigger was combined with the echo of the gunshot, muffled over my hearing protection. It hit my target right in the gut, and I felt a sense of accomplishment for a brief moment before he clutched his stomach, wide-eyed, and doubled over in pain. He collapsed on the floor, and I saw Lilith walk quickly up to him and look down, the color drained from her face.

  “Uh oh,” Lilith mumbled.

  “That is not something I want to hear right now,” I responded, my chest tight with nerves.

  “Yeah, well, he… He shouldn’t be bleeding.” Lilith looked over at me. “Like… at all.”

  13

  Evelyn

  Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  Lilith and I were standing over my target, who was bleeding profusely from the abdomen where I’d hit him. It looked fatal. He was not self-healing. This was not as advertised.

  “What the fuck?!” I shouted, a note of rising panic in my voice as I dropped down to my knees and ripped my flannel off, pressing it against the wound. “I thought you said that these guys regenerated or something.”

  “He should be.” She swallowed hard. “Did you think I’d have you do this on purpose?”

  “How the fuck should I know?” I growled. “Can’t you call Demon 911 or something?”

  “I… we don’t have Demon 911…” Lillith said. Her face was pale, and her expression told me she was as surprised as I was.

  “Well… do something,” I snapped.

  “Right.” She nodded. Only, instead of moving to help me, she turned and walked briskly to an intercom on the wall. “Believe me when I say that I never, in my wildest dreams, expected this to happen.” She might have said more, but I didn’t hear it because the guy in front of me grabbed my hands and looked right at me.

  And… I’d seen that face before. The face of a man’s life who was slipping away.

  “I still can’t believe it,” Lillith whispered as she walked back toward me. “It’s true! Everything about you is true.” She stopped two steps from me, but I couldn’t tell if it was from fear, shock, or something else entirely.

  “So, what was this? A freaking test?!” I was livid. I felt deceived and stupid. Worse, I had a dying man in my arms.

  “No! No, it wasn’t a test!” Lilith stammered, her hands plastered on her head and her eyes wide with shock. “I swear on Lucifer that this wasn’t a test. I simply wanted to give you a place to let off steam while doing my job at the same time. To be honest… I hadn’t even considered that this would happen.” She started pacing and shaking out her hands, taking deep, calming breaths.

  “That what would happen?” I pressed. “Did you not believe he would get hurt? Do you really believe I have some special powers?”

  “I absolutely believe you have some power. I was the one that stitched up Lucifer. That was me. It’s something I never thought I would have to do. I just…” Her voice wavered as she stared at the bleeding man at her feet. Those words seemed to make something click in her brain because I could practically see a lightbulb turn on above her head as an idea occurred to her.

  She dropped to her knees beside me and held her hands out over the dying man. A green-blue glow surrounded her hands, and then the whole wound just stopped bleeding. Sure, he was still hurt and everything, but no more blood was flowing out of the wound.

  “What… what did you do?” I asked as I looked over at her in shock.

  “I put the wound in stasis.” She swallowed hard, and it was obvious that doing it had put quite the strain on her. Sweat covered her brow, and she was visibly shaking from the effort. In a way, it almost reminded me of how I felt after I’d done intense workouts during basic training. “It won’t last long, but it’s what I did when I sewed up Lucifer. I put the wound in stasis with demon magic and then sewed him up…”

  “Will that help him?” I asked as I carefully removed my hands.

  “It should help until someone who can actually fix this shows up…” Lillith took a huge gulp of air. It was weird, but hearing her say that he would be okay made the weight ease off of me. He would be okay. I mean, yeah, I’d shot him, but this hadn’t been on purpose, and since he’d be okay… “Trust me, he’s gonna be fine.” Then after she slowly stood up, she took a step and nearly fel
l over from effort.

  “Be careful,” I cried as I leapt to my feet and moved to steady her. Only she stopped me before I could touch her.

  “Don’t get blood on me.” Then she laughed hysterically. “I’d have to get a whole new wardrobe.” She laughed again. “Man, it’s weird seeing it actually happen.” She nodded to the guy on the ground as she leaned on the wall for support. “I kind of figured the power began and ended with Lucifer.”

  “You did?” I asked as I looked around for something to wipe my hands on because she was right. They were covered in blood. I opted for one of the white towels that hung on the rack beside the door. Which… probably would have been better to staunch the wound with… but what can I say? I panicked.

  “Yeah. I mean, Lucifer and I have been through so much together, you know. I’ve seen lots of weird stuff happen just because he was involved,” Lilith said softly, nostalgia thick in her voice now. “Plus, he’s well, him. After I left the Garden… well, he accepted me for exactly who I am. I am eternally grateful. We were always so good together, and well, it didn’t work out romantically, but we did try. He was always so… incredibly satisfying. You know, girthy...” She winked and smirked at me, before shaking her head as if to get herself back on track. “Anyway, a guy like that, even if he’s not the one, sticks with you, even if you know letting him go is better...”

  I’ll be honest. I was still stuck on incredibly satisfying. And the stupid pang of jealousy that accompanied those words. Whoa. Where did that come from? Worse, I found myself wanting to know just how satisfying he was. No. Nope. I redirected myself to the task at hand.

  “So, what does this mean?” I asked in a way that was totally and completely chill. “What do we do now?”

  “Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it--”

  Only before Lilith could finish that thought, a tall man with long legs, glossy black hair, and large dark eyes burst into the room in a way that reminded me of the owl from Winnie the Pooh. Sure, maybe that was the round, over-sized, metal-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, but it was more the “already ready to criticize whatever was going on before he’d actually investigated it” vibe that he wore like a cape.

  “What happened to him?” He strolled over to the man on the floor and stared down at him. “Is this a new method of torture that I’m unaware of?” He gave Lilith a stern look as he blew a wisp of hair out of his face. “Did you bypass the safety checks again? I know they’re boring, but they’re designed to prevent…” he gestured at the injured person, “this.”

  “Stolas, thank you for coming so quickly,” Lilith exclaimed, and while her voice was polite and thankful, I didn’t miss the eye roll she did when Stolas wasn’t looking. “Yes, it seems I made a mistake.” She gestured to the dying… dead person. “We need this fixed quickly and discreetly. Otherwise, the paperwork will be… insane.”

  “It’s my pleasure. Just remember to follow the rules next time. They’re there for a reason.” Stolas pulled a jar of green and brown herbs out of his jacket pocket and bent over the man. “After all, where would we be without rules.”

  “He does know he’s in hell, right?” I asked as she took me by the arm and hustled me over to the safe.

  “Sometimes, I wonder about that. He did Heaven’s accounting before…” She shrugged. “Don’t think he ever grew out of that.”

  “Ah…” I turned and looked back at the man. I could not see what he was doing, but when he stood up, Stolas scooped the man up into his arms.

  “I’ll handle it,” he stated simply, all business, before turning on his heels and walking out of the room.

  Silence followed their exit, and I turned to look at my lane, the Colt 1911 laying there forgotten. I was still trying to absorb what had just happened, the whole ‘just desserts’ aspect of the torture methods floating around in the back of my head. Hadn’t that been what just happened to me?

  “I do have paper targets,” Lilith suggested as she walked back over to her lane and dug through a bag. Was she still planning to move forward after what just happened?

  “I have to say, Lilith,” I stood there in shock. “I’m really not in the mood anymore. If anything, I could use a drink.”

  She hesitated and then turned to me apologetically. “I’m sorry,” she responded. “I keep forgetting that you are new to all of these things. Being down here as long as I have, well, you tend to get numb to all this after a while.”

  Even though it blew my mind that anyone could become numb to any of this because my hands were still shaking, I swallowed and silently started putting my stuff away. After clearing my pistol and locking the slide back, I placed it to the side while I emptied the magazine and put all of the ammo back in the box. I racked the slide forward and picked up the Colt, the magazine, and the ammunition before walking over to the safe to put it all away. It was strange, but by doing all of this slowly and methodically, and focusing intently on my task, it helped to take my mind off of what had just happened.

  As I finished putting everything away, I heard whistling from down the hall, and then an unfathomably stunning man poked his head around the doorway into the room. He had thick golden loopy curls on his head, hazel eyes that seemed to catch all the light in the room, and a sun-kissed glow on his skin that had me thinking he had just come back from the beach. He had seriously defined muscles under his white tank top, and his jeans hung perfectly on his hips.

  “Is that the sultry tones of Lilith?” he inquired, his voice floating into the room, fake-sweet like cotton candy. Lilith rolled her eyes, then the man turned to look at me. His eyes widened in surprise.

  “Oh, aren’t you new and delicious,” he chirped. “What’s your name?”

  I was immediately turned off by him. It was obvious that he was one of those guys who knew he was incredibly attractive, and so spent so much time relying on that, that he forgot how to be a genuine person.

  “Go away, Michael,” Lilith demanded. Michael? As in the Archangel Michael?

  “Shut up, bitch,” Michael quipped, his voice suddenly sharp as he snapped his head toward Lilith. “You know better than to speak when you’re not being spoken to.” Then, without waiting for a response, he turned back to me and walked right up to me, just a hair too close to comfort. I did not back down. I stared him directly in the eyes.

  “Excuse me,” Lilith said, her face a mask of rage as she balled her hands into fists. “You should know better than to talk to me like that.”

  “Or, you’ll what?” He didn’t even look at her. “Tell my brother I’m being mean to you?” He laughed. “Think about that would do for your image.” Then he gave her a small, contemptuous wave. “Go away, the pretty people are talking now.”

  “So, are you really an Archangel?” I asked, not budging from my spot. “Because you seem like kind of a dick.”

  “Honey, I’m not just an Archangel. I’m the Archangel,” he purred as he spread his massively muscled arms wide. “I am the reason there even is a hell.”

  “Really? You look like the type of guy that goes to the gym just to check himself out in the mirror,” I muttered. Lilith snorted in the background.

  “Last I checked, you don’t get these muscles from simply looking in a mirror.” He winked and started flexing his muscles, turning and striking different poses for maximum impact while keeping eye contact with me the entire time. “And you don’t get the title Archangel without a pair of these.” He rolled his shoulders forward, and from the center of his back unfurled a pair of truly impressive silver-white wings that expanded the entire room.

  I stared at him the entire time with a disdainful look.

  “You done?” I asked as he pulled his wings back in.

  “For now,” Michael smirked. “But remember, as impressive as my truly impressive wings are, and they are impressive, truly, they don’t even compare to what I have in my pants.” He smiled, completely seriously. “So, what’s say the two of us go get to know each other a bit better?”


  “How about no?” I retorted, a disgusted look on my face, as I picked up my gun belt off the floor, ducked under the arm he had propped against the wall, and walked toward the door.

  “I’ll ask again tomorrow, cupcake!” It was the last thing I heard before Lilith shut the door behind us, leaving him alone in the range.

  “Ignore him, he’s an ass,” Lilith assured me as we headed back to my room. “He stops in every once in a while, but he never does anything. He is all talk.” She paused a moment. “And if he sends you a picture… don’t look at it.” She shivered. “Trust me.”

  As I nodded, I found myself wondering why guys like him always ruin it for themselves. After all, Michael was the most famous Archangel… ever? And he had golden blonde curly hair, gorgeous eyes, and a perfectly chiseled jaw. He could draw women in without even trying, and yet, somehow, he was such a douchebag that simply opening his mouth and ruined his own chances.

  “He doesn’t send those kinds of pics, does he?” I asked a moment later. “Like… really?”

  “He does.” Lillith sighed in a way that made me wonder if that had ever, in the history of his existence, worked for him. What a creep.

  When I walked back down the increasingly dreary hallway into my room, I had one goal, and one goal only: to take a shower. I could not wait to wash all the lead and bad memories out of my hair and feel like myself again.

  14

  Lucifer

  I sat on my throne, only three sips away from an empty cognac glass. I was savoring each sip, letting the liquid roll over my tongue and consume my senses, before swallowing it with regret.

  I knew that once this glass was empty, I needed to leave Hell. I never enjoyed my infrequent trips to Heaven. The snide comments, the rude stares… It was the one place where I knew I would be treated with disrespect and condescension, and there was nothing I could do about it. On the other hand, at least it was consistent.