7 Deadly Roommates

by George Saoulidis

“Um, Invidia?”

  “Yes?” she said expectantly.

  By the gods, she was gorgeous. Forgetting what he was planning to say for a moment, he said, “I really, really wanna hang out and get to know you, but I absolutely need to work on something. It’s kind off an emergency, a legal one we need to sort out with Evie. She’s my business partner and she’s coming over in a bit to work with me.” He winced and found some clean bedsheets for her. “It isn’t weird, is it?”

  “What exactly?”

  “This. Me blowing you off as soon as I met you, working till late, then us sleeping on the same bed?”

  “It is weird!” she chuckled in a very contrary tone of voice from what she actually said. “But I don’t mind,” she added, pursing her lips.

  Holy fucking shit, even that expression of hers was gorgeous. Horace stared at the curves of her lips, the seemed to have golden highlights on top of her chocolate skin. He pried his eyes off of her. “Okay. Look, mi casa es su casa, there’s a ton of cold drinks in the fridge, leftovers from Gula’s awesome cooking are in the fridge, help yourself, the bathroom is over there, just settle in and make yourself at home.”

  “Why, thank you, Horace!”

  Chapter 66: Evie

  Evie froze. Her eyes fell upon the woman called Invidia, and she felt a burning flame of envy in her guts.

  It was like looking in the mirror, if a mirror somehow made you look taller, hotter and thinner. Evie imagined an RPG’s character selection screen. Someone had meticulously crafted a digital avatar exactly like Evie, then adjusted the sliders.

  Boobs? Bigger.

  Waist? Thinner.

  Height? Give it a couple of centimetres.

  Weight? Shave off a couple of kilos.

  Eyes? Make them prettier.

  Nose? Make it more delicate.

  Lips? Make them lush.

  Skin? Remove all blemishes.

  Hair? Make them fluffier.

  Evie groaned on the inside and she tried to keep it contained, but it spewed out of her and she gritted her teeth, her face a mask of jealousy at the sight of the woman.

  And to top it all off, the bitch was wearing Evie’s pyjamas and coyly showed off her butt.

  WHAT.

  THE.

  FUCK.

  Evie threw her bag on the floor and plopped herself down on the sofa, chewing on her lips, fuming in silence. Invidia blew a kiss towards Horace in the air and then winked at him.

  Horace checked his phone, it got a loud notification. He walked over to Evie and said, “Is Costa going to go through with this?”

  Evie sighed, still fuming inside, taking glances at her pyjamas walking around the house. “Yeah. He was really angry, called me names. I slapped him, kicked him out.”

  Horace got angry too. “He did what? Tell me he wasn’t rough with you.” He leaned in close to inspect her face, and she turned away.

  “No, he wasn’t, not physically,” she said with a small voice.

  Horace threw his arms in the air. “Gods, he’s the big fish, what’s he got to fear from us?”

  Evie sniffled and wiped her nose. “I guess the whole deal with me stung him more than it normally would have.”

  Horace knelt and took her hands into his. “You liked him, didn’t you?”

  Evie looked away. “Okay, yeah. But he showed his true colours just a few hours ago, and why is she wearing my pyjamas?” She obviously switched gears in the conversation faster than Horace could follow, so he fumbled for words.

  “Who- What?”

  “Her!” Evie said, pointing towards Invidia.

  “Oh, she didn’t have any with her, and yours were just there on my closet. Does it bother you?” he frowned, rubbing her hands.

  “Does it-” she stopped herself. “No. Why would it? I wasn’t gonna stay anyway, I need some time alone.”

  “Okay. Now can we deal with this cease and desist issue?”

  She squeezed his hands and composed herself. “Yes. Yes we can.”

  Chapter 67: Horace

  A couple of days went by. They had little choice but to remove Ira’s cyberscan and model, even though it was rather popular and they took a hit in sales. Turns out, not many dwarf ladies are represented properly. Go figure. Evie spent every minute of her non-working day hanging around the house and being friends with Invidia, which was creepy, since the two looked so alike.

  He did sleep with Invidia in the same bed, but they just slept, nothing more. She was sweet and teased him quite a bit, but he was a new man now, he could stand to sleep with blue balls next to a pretty girl. Not that he had to, he made sure to have his way with Lux, who was always down to it, and Acedia, who he especially liked. And then, having had his fun in the other room, he’d go into bed with the doppelgänger of his best friend and they’d chat for nothing in particular till they dozed off.

  They cyberscanned all the girls with his DIY solution. It wasn’t perfect, and it took far longer than what it would have taken in a set up like Costa’s. But that’s what he could afford and the girls patiently did it to help him out. Even Avaritia offered, which Horace was anxious about asking. Having seven models right off the bat to showcase was the best, it did wonders for their orders. Evie sculpted them in 3D models and then modified them into various fantasy women.

  Horace scrolled through their catalogue.

  Acedia was the undead rogue, with her bony features somehow the same but pretty. Evie had really captured her essence in that bit.

  Luxuria got turned into a smoking hot sorceress, which wasn’t that big of a leap.

  Avaritia became a dragon rider, both of them clad in gold.

  Gula became a chubby pirate lady, which was really funny and awesome at the same time, with an enormous hat and a shotgun. That one got all the clicks on their website.

  Ira was the dwarf warrior lady with a greataxe, screaming towards the battle.

  Superbia became a milky-white blessed soldier type with a halo, wings and glowing eyes.

  And, finally, Evie, became a witch with pink hair contrasting her golden black skin, clad in golden-black robes, carrying a crooked staff and with ravens surrounding her.

  Or, was it Invidia? Horace couldn’t really tell.

  Their plan was to put out an ad with a casting call for models of underrepresented body types. They would have done it this week, but Costa threw a wrench in their plans. He had actually sent a cease and desist through a lawyer, so it wasn’t all hot air.

  They had to put a pause into their growth, and dammit, it was actually going good. The feature of Evie’s AR avatars was selling out like crazy, and since she was doing all the work they had decided to make it an agreement that that money would be poured back into the startup. In return, Representation Fantasy would advertise her offer, but not too much because she already couldn’t keep up with demand. The women had lots of stuff to peruse in both figurines and digital avatars, and they could choose to either commission a custom one, buy one of the premium ones, or even order a 3D printed figurine in either 1/6th or 1/8th size. The last option was a premium item with lots of work and it hefted a good profit. It was the part Horace absolutely loved and he put in same care into every one as if it were a piece of his collection. His house was in chaos, with the cheap-ass cyberscan area, the shipping part with all the supplies and the boxes, the figurine gluing area where nobody was allowed inside. And that was all on top of seven girls living with him, but they helped out in every possible way, cooking, cleaning, laundry, even with the business stuff.

  His mother called. “Hi mama!”

  “Hi, dear. Are you all right?”

  “Sure, everything is fine. How’s Australia, still upside down?”

  She scoffed at his often repeated joke. “Of course it is. Honey, I’ve been hearing some weird things...”

  “About what, mama?”

  “Mrs Petra sent me a message and she was saying she saw weird women coming in and out of the house. She said a couple of them looked like pros
titutes.”

  “Mama, Mrs Petra is eighty years-old. She thinks all the women look like prostitutes.”

  “True, true. But she was insistent.”

  “In a single message?”

  “There might have been a few of them. And a videocall. But forget about her, I want you to tell me what is happening.”

  “Yes, there are a few friends staying over at our house.”

  “I see. How many is a few?”

  “Well, six, and now seven. They’re just passing by, came to Athens for tourism and such,” he lied.

  “Seven. All women?”

  “Yes, mama.”

  “And they’re living with you, all of them, in our house. Doesn’t that strike you as odd?”

  “It was weird at first but I got to know them better and we’re having lots of fun.”

  “Fine. But I want you to take care, honey. They may want to take advantage of you.”

  Luxuria chose that exact moment to pass outside the door in her panties and a t-shirt, stop, bend her athletic figure in a jaw-dropping pose, wink at him, then carry on.

  He instantly got a semi-erection. “Uh, yeah. I’ll be careful, mama.”

  “Good.”

  “Gotta go, bye, love you.” He hung up and chased after the sexy Russian lady. Their game was, that if he caught her he could eat ice cream off her boobs. She was always surprisingly easy to find.

  Chapter 68: Horace

  Horace heard ringing. It was coming from everywhere, that constant ringing sound in the darkness. So annoying. Mumbling, he realised he had been dreaming. But the phone was still ringing. Invidia turned sleepily next to him and snuggled on his side. He stretched his arm to pick up the phone. It was Evie, which felt weird, because the head currently nuzzling his armpit was a dead ringer for her. They still hadn’t done anything, but still...

  “What is it. It’s too early,” he whispered.

  “Check the link,” Evie said, frantic.

  “Wait.” He did. The link pointed to a blog post, pretty much a press release from Costa’s company. He called them out by name and claimed that all the models had been cyberscanned with his own company’s equipment and expertise, that’s why they were so popular. He named Evangeline as his ex-girlfriend who was scorned and made her own company. He pretty much called them thieves and the people’s reaction was to boycott Representation Fantasy. The post didn’t ask for that, but the comment that started it all could have been planted for that reason alone. “That motherfucker,” Horace spat out.

  “Exactly.”

  Horace slid his arm away from Invidia and stood up. He searched for spot to go and talk, but pretty much every corner of the house was occupied, so he went outside at the balcony. “Why is he doing this? We complied with taking down Ira’s model.”

  “I dunno. He’s mad, I guess. This reaction is far too extreme.”

  “Of course it’s extreme! He’s using his clout to push us out of the market before we have a chance to establish ourselves.”

  “I don’t think people will buy it, my fans won’t believe it,” Evie sniffled.

  “No, Evie, I disagree. People love a good drama, and this is exactly that. He calls you out by nickname. The damage is already done.”

  Evie was silent.

  He kicked a flower pot and breathed in. “Okay, look, I’ll deal with it.”

  “How are you gonna do that?”

  “I’ll deal with it, trust me.”

  “I trust you, Horace.”

  “Good. Go to sleep, you sound like you need it.”

  “Okay. Goodnight.”

  He woke Ira up, trying to be as quiet as possible. Ava had her sleeping mask on and was laying on her back. “What is it?” Ira said groggily.

  Horace whispered with a grin. “Time to fuck shit up. Are you in?”

  She blinked once and stood up, slapping her fist into her other hand. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

  “Good.”

  They broke in and waited in the dark. It wouldn’t be long now, they knew his morning schedule.

  Chapter 69: Costa

  Costa strolled through the morning streets like a king. He felt good, dammit! Having struck back at that traitorous black bitch made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. As if the two of them could corner his market. What a bunch of idiots.

  He unlocked the front door to his studio and went to disarm the alarm. He found the alarm ripped out of the wall, cables spilling out like guts. What? Did someone break in?

  Should he call the police? Nah, he should check it out first, just to be sure. He walked up the stairs and unlocked the door to his studio. It was dark and the morning light barely came in, they still had the heavy curtains drawn, the ones they used to control the ambient light. He turned on the lights and saw a man sitting in the chair right in the middle of the studio.

  “Horace? Is that you?” he said before feeling a thud and a sort of wetness at the back of his head, then it all went dark.

  He felt a heaviness in his chest. Then he opened his eyes to realise that it wasn’t metaphorical, since there was a scowling dwarf girl sitting on top of him. “You’re that chick, Horace’s friend. What are you-” he trailed off, looking around.

  Horace held the aluminium bat and swung it on his expensive gear.

  “Hey, stop it!” He tried to get up but the dwarf lady was impossibly still keeping him down. She wrenched his arm behind his back and slammed his face on the floor. “Ouch, that hurt! My teeth, I think you got one loose, fuck!”

  “Good morning, Costa!” Horace said, his tone chipper.

  “What are you doing? I’m gonna call the cops.”

  “Oh, you are? Please, do it. Come on.”

  Costa tried to move his arm, it was pinned down by that tiny but deadly woman. “What the hell, you’re like fifty kilograms! How are you keeping me down?”

  Ira squeezed harder and it hurt.

  Horace clicked his tongue. “Guess that workout isn’t doing much for you right now. You should aim for bulk next time, not cut.”

  “Are you just gonna let your women do your work for you?” Costa spat out.

  Horace scoffed and swung his bat lazily. “Sure, why not? I’m not intimidated by badass women.” Then she trashed one of his monitors.

  “Come on! Stop it. What do you want?”

  “You know what I want,” Horace said and smashed one of his LED panels.

  “Do you have any idea how much that cost?”

  “I do actually, since I was looking to buy one and I couldn’t possibly afford it for my tiny little startup,” Horace said casually, then smashed a camera from the cyberscan rig.

  “Stop it, seriously! Okay, I’ll delete the post. Let me go and stop smashing things and I’ll do it.”

  “Aaand...” Horace taunted, then smashed another camera.

  “Fucking bastard! Okay, I’ll rip out Ira’s model release form. It’s in my desk.”

  “Good,” Horace said simply and smashed another camera.

  “Why did you do that for?” Costa cried out.

  Horace shrugged. “I just felt like it, you know, maintaining the rhythm of this conversation. Now, here is what will happen next...”

  He knelt down in front of Costa’s face and made his demands.

  Chapter 70: Acedia, Gula, Luxuria, Avaritia, Superbia, Invidia, Ira

  Acedia found him tinkering with his camera. “What are we doing?” she asked, bouncing on her toes.

  “We, are taking product shots to share on the shop and on Agora. Wanna help me out?” he said, moving the light panel around.

  “Oh, wow! Sure. What can I do?”

  “Look in the display and tell me when I have the backdrop covering the entire figurine.”

  She did so. “A tiny bit to the left. Your other left, my left. A bit more... Yeap, it’s covered now.”

  He walked around and checked the camera. “Great, thanks, Acedia. What would I do without you?”

  She kissed him softly on the lip
s. “Everything,” she whispered.

  Luxuria found him in the shower. She longed for one more lay, but it had to be enough.

  “Wanna join me?” he said playfully.

  She sighed deeply. Of course she wanted to. “Horace, you’ve learnt a lot.”

  “Come on, I bet you’re already-” He peeked out of the shower curtain, and she chuckled at his expression of not finding her already naked.

  “Tell me, what did you learn about women?”

  “What? Really, you wanna talk about this now?”

  “Sure.”

  He sucked through his teeth, dripping water all over the bathroom tiles. “Well, I learnt that each and every one is different in her own way.”

  She nodded slowly. “Good...” She stepped close to him and kissed him on his wet lips. She sighed. “I’m out of beer, going to get some.”

  “Okay! See ya later,” he said, going back to rinse off.

  She didn’t reply.

  Gula found him working on the computer again, so she stuffed him full of food. “You’re too skinny, have some more.”

  He was absent-minded, this business thing was taking off and it demanded his attention 24/7. “I like that you’re so busy lately, Horace.”

  “It’s good, yeah. That’s the problem with the internet, you have to be available at all times. But I can’t complain. This is what I always wanted to do.”

  She pinched his cheek. “Oof, you’re such a cutie pie! I’m glad.” She pulled him away from the monitor long enough to give him a sloppy kiss. “Now eat your fruit salad.”

  “Thanks, Gula!” he said.

  She let him work.

  Superbia called him to help her with the groceries. Getting lettuce was so banal, after all. He showed up, the store was just a couple of streets next to the house.

  “Can you believe Gula tasked me with shopping these?” she pouted and tsked.

  He chuckled. “Yes, I sure can. Our girl really likes to feed us healthy.”