My Ride is a Bitch

by Michael Anderle

  >>The daughter, Anne, is twelve. She has been absent from school for two days. Previously, she had not missed the last one hundred and eighty-two days of school.<<

  “Trap or real, trap or real?” Bethany Anne said aloud.

  Are they mutually exclusive? TOM interrupted.

  “No, they are not,” Bethany Anne agreed.

  Are you going to send someone to check it out?

  No, I’m going to do this. It needs a deft touch, a woman’s hand.

  What about Gabrielle?

  I don’t want to mess up her time with Eric.

  What about … huh… right.

  What do you mean ‘right’?

  You are bored.

  I’ve always heard that the problem with Royalty is that they aren’t connected with the people. I am not going to have that happen to me.

  You are bored.

  And that, too.

  Just the three of us?

  No, it will be the four of us.

  Well, thank God. For a second I thought you would go out and not have any support. TOM sighed mentally.

  “Ashur,” Bethany Anne started towards her closet, “Let’s go rescue a little girl.” His chuff came back, excited. “I know, right? Silly of my guards to leave me alone and allow me to get into mischief all by my little lonesome.” This time, Ashur sounded like he was laughing, not chuffing.

  “Oh, shut up.” Bethany Anne said, “be happy your lazy ass is going, or you would be stuck in here.”

  She switched clothes and loaded her weapons. Seeing the wakizashi, she smiled and grabbed her shorter blade, “Come here, you. We haven’t partied in a while.” She looked down at her boots on the floor, “Ugh, no boots, this time, Pumas it is.”

  She grabbed a jacket and hid her weapons, “ArchAngel, lock this door.”

  Why did I think you were going to be mature about this? TOM asked.

  “Beats the fuck out of me.” She replied, “let’s go, my furry white guard.” Bethany Anne grabbed Ashur’s neck and took a step forward, disappearing.

  A minute later, the lights went off in the closet.

  TQB Base Denver, Colorado

  Bethany Anne arrived at the Colorado headquarters with Ashur in one of her arrival rooms. It took her a little while to sneak outside.

  Unfortunately, the personally-modified F12berlinetta upgraded for her was locked up in the garage area and had an on-duty guard. It had required her to order him to not speak about her taking the car for twenty-four hours.

  Leaving the base forced her to order personnel at two additional security checkpoints to not mention her presence. At least for twenty-four hours.

  Bethany Anne enjoyed the crisp air for a couple of hours as she and Ashur drove through the mountains heading towards Las Vegas. She looked in her rearview mirror to confirm no one was behind her and then told TOM to punch it.

  Their car lifted off the road and started flying through the night sky.

  Within fifteen minutes, she was arriving and setting down on a small road outside North Las Vegas. She entered the address into the onboard navigation and drove into town as the barest hint of dawn was cracking the sky.

  “Hey, no shedding on my leather,” she reached over and brushed a few of Ashur’s white hairs off the seat. “We should look for a girlfriend for you, maybe she would teach you to not shed on the seats?” Ashur looked over at Bethany Anne, cocking his head to the side and chuffed, “I don’t know how to tell if she is smart,” she said, “probably the best test will be if she bites you in the ass the first chance she gets.”

  He chuffed and looked out the window as Bethany Anne laughed.

  >> I could have easily told you the directions to the location.<<

  I know that ADAM, sometimes the little computers need some attention too.

  You just wanted to play with your new toy.

  You say that as if it is a bad thing, TOM.

  The directions took her to the west side of Las Vegas, and she pulled up to a neighborhood security gate.

  Bethany Anne could see the Red Rock Casino a couple of miles away and the Red Rock Canyon just beyond it.

  —

  Casper was reading the latest Vegas news when a car pulled off Spanish Trail, and the headlights flashed through their window as the beginning of another bright day started. He looked up in time to see a Ferrari when his partner, Jocelyn said, “Ten bucks says it is an old man with gray hair wearing a toupee.”

  While he couldn’t see inside too well, but he did notice what looked like a large white dog in the front seat, “You got a bet,” he replied and stepped out of the air-conditioned guard house, closing the door behind him.

  The Ferrari smoothly pulled up beside him and the tinted window started dropping.

  So did Caspers jaw, “Hello,” he managed to croak out. Jocelyn owed him ten bucks, now. No mistaking this lady for an old, fat and balding, white guy using a car to market himself. She didn’t look like she needed the car to sell herself, either. But, this was Vegas. Casper supposed she could be an Elite Companion. If she was, then Casper couldn’t afford her.

  “Hello, Casper is it?” she smiled and nodded to his name badge, “I’m here to surprise my brother,” her voice, velvet smooth over steel warmed his soul, “would you mind letting me do that without putting me down on your notepad?”

  Moments later, Casper stepped back inside and put his clipboard in the slot. He barely noticed when Jocelyn slid the ten dollars in front of him. “You win the ten bucks. She wasn’t an old fat guy.” Then, Jocelyn started pulling the money back towards herself, “But, you lose the money for not putting her name down on the clipboard. It’s now hush money.”

  Casper just nodded his agreement to the deal.

  —

  Bethany Anne drove up in front of the four thousand square foot two-story. It had a Spanish brick roof and a nicely kept lawn. All of the homes in this gated community were well kept.

  She slid out of her car and walked around to open Ashur’s door. He jumped out and looked around, sniffing the air.

  A few cars were leaving for work already, but her car tended to show everyone living in this neighborhood that she belonged.

  The two of them walked up to the door.

  —

  “He has visitors,” Dieter said as he looked out the window with his binoculars, “Attractive woman, and … a dog.”

  “Not exactly your standard military rescue team,” Gunter commented, as he drank his coffee and walked up beside his partner, “Maybe his family?”

  “Can’t tell,” Dieter pulled off the glasses, “Here, take a look, I’m going to wake up Klaus in case we have a snag in the plans. Today he is supposed to pull the data in exchange for his wife.”

  Gunter put his coffee down, accepted the binoculars and put them on his face, “Yes, attractive. Weird that she’s wearing a jacket in Las Vegas.” Gunter looked back at the car, “Dealer plates, I can’t see what area. Perhaps she is not from around here?”

  Dieter called back from the room across the hall, “I don’t know.” There was a knock, “Klaus, wake up. We have an unexpected visitor.”

  “Here?” Gunter could hear the tired man ask.

  “No,” Dieter replied, “across the street, we might need to intercept so get prepared.” He stepped back into the front room, “What now?”

  “She is knocking on the door,” Gunter said. “Is the volume up?” Seconds later, they heard the door open from across the street, and Mason’s voice came in loud and clear.

  “Hello?”

  The female’s voice answered, “I’m sorry, Mr. Jayden, but the Clark County School District is concerned about your daughter, Anne. She has missed two days of school already.”

  “Anne? Yes, she’s sick.”

  “May I see her?” the lady responded.

  “What? No. I’m sorry, who did you say you were again?”

  “My name is Bethany Anne…”

  —

  If anyone had looked stra
ight up, they would be looking in the right area to see a tiny little black dot up in the sky.

  Would they be able to see it? No.

  John was listening to the conversation below, “ArchAngel, you are capturing the audio from wireless signals?”

  “Yes, John. Small wireless signals are coming from the house Bethany Anne is at and sending in the direction of a couple of houses across the street.”

  “You can’t tell which one?”

  “No, only direction. It is either the house directly across, or the one to the south of it.”

  John continued listening to the conversation as Bethany Anne spoke.

  “My name is Bethany Anne, and I help the Clark County School District maximize their income by confirming all able-bodied children are attending school. It reduces truancy.”

  “In a Ferrari?”

  John chuckled, wondering how his boss was going to answer this question. He could hear the pause, almost seeing her turn around to confirm that yes, she had driven a Ferrari.

  “Well, yes. It’s my new car. You see, I’m a helper for the school district in the mornings. The rest of the day, I play a trophy wife.”

  Up in the sky, John was slapping the side of the Pod trying to control his laughter, “Oh God!” He screamed, “ArchAngel, please tell me you are recording this?”

  “I am, John.”

  He wiped a tear from his face as he tried to stifle his laughter, “Sweet blessed mother of Saint Payback-is-a-Bitch, I’m going to use this sometime in the future.” John had to stifle any further comments as the two beneath him continued talking.

  —

  “She is a school helper?” Gunter asked, puzzled.

  “American school’s get paid by how many children are in the classroom each day. It is very expensive for the local school district when a child is out sick.” Klaus explained as he walked into the room, adjusting his holster and slipping in his pistol.

  “This could be a problem,” Dieter explained. “We only need him to go to work one last time. Do we snatch her, or what?”

  Gunter shrugged, “We only do something if she won’t leave.”

  —

  The lady in front of Mason’s voice changed, sweeter somehow and yet more commanding, “Let me in, Mason.”

  Mason opened the door wider and stepped back, “Why don’t you come in, Ms. Anne.”

  Bethany Anne stepped into the home behind Ashur who had jumped in ahead of her, looking around. “My name is just…you know, never mind.” She looked down at Ashur, “Find out if we have a problem.” Ashur took off, running up the steps.

  “NO!” Mason scrambled behind Bethany Anne, pushing her out of the way as both of them heard a chuff from the room up the stairs. Mason grabbed hold of the railing, swinging to jump to the third step. He was running up the stairs and was surprised when he stumbled off balance, feeling as though he was pushed aside. He righted himself and continued racing to his daughter's room.

  She absolutely, positively couldn’t leave that bed.

  —-

  “Gott Verdammt!” Klaus bolted out of the room, running down the hall to the front door. “If that bitch pulls the child off the bed, the operation is a bust,” he yelled, frantically trying to unlock the door.

  Gunther and Dieter were hot on his heels as he yanked the front door open, all three men racing down the front sidewalk.

  “ArchAngel, get me down there!” John commanded as he started unbuckling. The Pod came screaming down out of the sky.

  The three men hadn’t made it to the street when the top of the house exploded. They all turned, covering their heads, jumping back onto the lawn as house parts pelted them. One larger piece of board impaled the grass just a foot from Gunter’s face.

  Standing up and pulling their pistols when the large pieces stopped landing, they turned back towards the home. There was fire pouring out of the top windows.

  “Shit!” Klaus stomped his foot, “We were so close!” They jogged over to the home's front lawn.

  Dieter was the first to noticed the object descending from off to their left. Thinking a large part of the house was landing he jerked his head. “Look out!”

  The men ducked, but nothing hit the ground. When they looked up once again, a large white man, vitriolic hatred painted on his face promising a painful death stood to their left. He stared at them, two unique-looking guns in his hands, aimed at their heads.

  The three men pointed their guns back, “Who are you?” Klaus asked.

  “I am,” he responded, barely-restrained emotions holding in check, “the man who is going to kill you for who you just blew up.”

  They eyed each other for a few seconds.

  A woman’s voice came from behind the three. It started low and slow, but raised in both pitch and volume as it continued, “You cock-biting ass-backward fuck faced sodding tea-bagging wrinkled old-dickless-twin-headed-alien-tramp-wackers!" She then screamed, "That fucking hurt!"

  One of the three men turned around, the two facing John didn’t like the grin that graced his face, or his comment, “Boys, I was just going to kill you. Now, you’ve done gone and fucked up real good. You will have wished for death by the time she gets done with you.”

  The one on the left, looked back and exclaimed, “The trophy wife?”

  John snorted as the lady spoke in a clipped fashion, “You, I kill first.”

  The white dog beside her barked. “No,” she said, “you may not bite his nuts off. I’m not smelling nut-sack breath all morning long.”

  “Dieter, would you just shoot the bitch?” Gunter asked, “We have to get out of here!”

  “Gentleman,” her voice went sweet, soft velvet over hardened steel, “I command you, put down your guns.”

  “Like…” Gunter started to say before he felt himself complying with her orders, finishing with,“hell?”

  John, keeping his pistols on them, walked over and kicked their guns behind him.

  “Bethany Anne, we do need to go. Where are the people in the house?”

  “Colorado,” She turned to look at her car, “Fucking Ape-titties!” She yelled, exasperated, “That was my new Ferrari, you cooch-virgins!”

  John looked and had to agree. The car’s bodywork messed up explosion damage the Ferarri wasn’t looking too good.

  She breathed slowly. “Well, that settles it,” She walked to the man who was still looking at her. “Hope no one has video going,” she mumbled and slapped him. The slap’s ‘crack’ was loud, but the man she hit had disappeared

  “What the hell?” Gunter exclaimed as he was whacked on the back of his head and also disappeared.

  She told the last, “Don’t say a fucking word. And if you and your two goons want to live, I would suggest not walking far from where I send you. Because, I might not be able to find your useless asses.”