One Summer in Positano

by Georgie Capron

  They all enjoyed a culinary feast, courtesy of Matteo, who was a chef at a local restaurant. They had so many courses: starters, pasta, meat and pudding, that by the end Libby thought she might explode. Isabella had been well and truly worn out by all the new faces passing her around as though in a game of pass the parcel. She had gone to sleep without protest in Antonia’s spare room.

  As they ate, Libby watched Luca from the opposite side of the table. Seeing him here made her realise that he just wasn’t quite himself in London. This version of Luca, so comfortable in his own skin and so relaxed in the company of his family and oldest friends, was the true Luca, the Luca that she had fallen in love with. It saddened her that he still wasn’t quite settled in the UK. There was something about being back home that suited him immensely. There was a new sparkle to his eyes, a spring in his step. He didn’t complain that often but it was obvious to her now just how much he missed being here. She vowed to herself that she would make more effort to come over. It was unfair on him to be away for too long. Selfishly she was worried that London would seem all the worse to Luca now that he had been reminded of just what he was missing. She hoped he wouldn’t struggle when they got home, especially now winter would be kicking in.

  Libby was determined that they would enjoy their holiday to the hilt, and they certainly did, packing in as much as they could in the time that they had. They took Izzy to the beach every day; they ate long lunches and dinners at friends’ houses and in their favourite local restaurants; they went out on the boat several times with Gian Matteo, who was just as besotted by Izzy as the rest of Luca’s family. They gorged themselves on gelato, pasta and pizza, getting their fix of authentic Italian food while they had the chance, and they drank plenty of delicious local wines and prosecco. It was a blissful week – fun but also somewhat exhausting due to all the socialising with so many friends. A week later, they returned to London, nicely bronzed from the sun and a good few pounds heavier.

  As the autumn progressed, Luca did seem a little down, as Libby had suspected he might. She could understand why. He seemed to retreat inside himself somewhat, withdrawing from her and frequently seeming lost in his thoughts. Libby had no idea what to do. She tried to get him to talk to her but it didn’t seem to help. She hoped that in time he would feel as happy in London as he did in Positano, but she had a sneaking suspicion that they would never quite match up in his eyes. Positano was one of the most beautiful places in the world; she couldn’t blame him for missing it. She missed it like crazy herself and she had only lived there for a few months. For Luca it was well and truly home.

  That December they flew back to Italy for the run-up to Christmas as well as Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. They then flew back home to Kent on Boxing Day to spend the rest of the festive period with Miriam, John and Helen. Henry was with his own family and Helen seemed lonely and a little lost without him. Having Isabella around did a lot to lift her spirits. Luca found it very hard to tear himself away from his family to board the flight back home. He would clearly rather have stayed in Positano, but Libby had insisted that Miriam should be allowed to share in some of Izzy’s first Christmas too.

  ‘Did you know that John’s sister-in-law lives in your area of Italy, Luca?’ Miriam asked as they all sat enjoying a feast of cold meats and jacket potatoes on Boxing Day.

  ‘Really?’ asked Luca. ‘Whereabouts?’

  ‘What a coincidence!’ said Libby.

  ‘She lives in a small village called Tremento. It’s about an hour’s drive west from Amalfi, up in the hills,’ explained John. ‘About twenty minutes to the nearest beach… I’ve forgotten the name.’

  ‘I’ve heard of Tremento,’ said Luca. ‘I bet it’s very beautiful up there.’

  ‘Have you been to visit?’ asked Helen.

  ‘Not for quite a few years,’ said John. ‘When Julie became sick, we stopped travelling abroad. But we did visit Lizzy a couple of times over the years. She is married to an Italian chap called Giuseppe. She runs a bed and breakfast.’

  ‘How wonderful!’ said Libby. Her mind immediately darted to her own dormant but ever-present plans to run her own bed and breakfast one day. Maybe she could open one in Italy? That was an idea that hadn’t occurred to her before. Perhaps she should bite the bullet and leave law completely, move back to Positano with Luca and start a business. That way maybe they could both be happy. She wanted so badly for him to be his sparkling, usual self, and she knew things weren’t quite right between them in London.

  ‘So how was Positano?’ asked Helen.

  ‘It’s almost unrecognisable at this time of year,’ said Libby. ‘The waves are pretty rough; they have dismantled all the beach restaurants for the winter.’

  ‘Do they do that every year?’ asked Miriam.

  ‘Yes, they have to rebuild them for the start of each season, it’s exhausting!’ explained Luca.

  ‘I’ll bet!’ said John.

  ‘It’s quite beautiful, though; the clouds hang low over the hills above and the whole place has more of a mystical feel to it.’

  ‘I prefer the summer,’ said Luca. ‘But it was great to be home and to see all my family.’

  ‘You must miss them terribly,’ said Miriam.

  ‘It was my first Catholic mass on Christmas Day,’ said Libby, trying to change the subject. ‘I didn’t understand a word!’

  ‘They all adore Izzy, of course,’ continued Luca.

  ‘She is looking impossibly sweet at the moment,’ said Miriam. ‘I know I am biased, but I do think she is the most gorgeous little girl I’ve ever seen.’

  ‘Well I’m not biased,’ said John. ‘She really is the most beautiful little thing!’

  Luca and Libby spent a happy few days making the most of having such willing babysitters on hand to go for walks together, watch movies and generally relax. She was glad of the opportunity to spend time with him. She wanted more than anything for him to be happy and she felt like some of the distance that had built up between them since their holiday in September was beginning to break down. It was a much-needed break for them both as they gathered strength for the new year to come.

  As January dawned, Libby suddenly began to dread the approaching end of her maternity leave. ‘I can’t believe I’m going back to work at the end of the month,’ she said to Luca. She just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Izzy.

  ‘Nine months have gone by very quickly, haven’t they?’ said Luca. ‘We need to sort out what we’re going to do with Izzy once and for all.’ They had lined up both a nursery and a child-minder who lived locally as possible childcare solutions, but they had yet to decide which option they would choose.

  ‘I think we should go with the child-minder,’ Libby said. She had been weighing up both options for quite some time. ‘Nurseries won’t accept babies if they have even the slightest sniffle, and I can’t be off work every time she has a cold.’

  ‘I’m happy with that. I can’t just drop everything either. But I do think we need to pay for the child-minder for four days a week. I can do the fifth day of childcare, but I need at least one of my days off from Sicaro to work on my freelance stuff.’

  ‘OK, so if we put her in care from Monday to Thursday, are you happy with that? It needs to be the same days every week.’

  ‘Yes, that sounds perfect. Shall I phone the child-minder?’ offered Luca.

  ‘No, don’t worry, I’ll do it. It’s going to break my heart leaving her,’ she said miserably.

  ‘I’m sure you’ll get used to it. It’ll be like ripping off a plaster. You’ve just got to take the plunge, and then when you’re back in the flow of working it will be fine.’

  ‘I don’t even enjoy my work, though. At least if I was passionate about what I was doing, it would seem more worthwhile. How am I supposed to leave Izzy, the one person in the world that I love more than life itself, to sit in an office staring at a computer for eight and a half hours a day?’ The only reason she was determined to stick at her law con
version was to provide for Izzy’s future. The money was so good she knew it was the responsible thing to do. As much as she would love to start her own bed and breakfast, to move to the countryside or back to Positano, she would never be able to reach anything like the earning potential she would by staying in law. She knew she should give Digby and Edwards her best shot. If she didn’t get an offer from them at the end of the training contract, then she would have to rethink. She knew she owed it to Izzy, and to herself after all the hard work she had put in so far, to give it one final shot.

  She had negotiated her hours to start at nine and leave at five thirty so that she could be home with Izzy by quarter past six for her bath and bedtime. She was determined to stick to her guns about her leaving time. There was no way she was willing to miss out on Izzy’s bedtime routine; it was her favourite time of day and in her mind it was completely non-negotiable.

  Soon enough, Libby’s first day back at work dawned with an early alarm call. She left the house, having handed Izzy over to the child-minder with a thousand last-minute tips and instructions, tears shining in her eyes. It was one of the strangest days of her life. She had dressed in a smart navy dress and heels, the first pair of heels she had worn in as long as she could remember. She arrived at Digby and Edwards at nine o’clock on the dot, walking through the huge swivelling doors and breathing in the familiar smells of wood polish and coffee. Nervously she had made her way to the Contentious Trusts and Successions Department. She had a meeting first thing with Derek, her supervisor, who welcomed her back and explained that she would be completing the remaining five months of her seat in the company of the new round of first-year trainees. She met the two trainees who would be sharing her placement, Imogen and Rajid, both of whom had already settled in well to their new roles in the department.

  Strangely, against all expectations, she actually quite enjoyed being out of the house and having a purpose other than childcare, as rewarding as that was. It was refreshing to use her brain and engage in adult conversation for such large parts of the day. The work itself seemed dull to her, but it felt good to be back in a buzzing office environment.

  As spring flew by, Libby was happier than she had thought she would be to be back at work. Izzy seemed to adore Zoe, her child-minder, which certainly helped. It was a wonderful relief having such a reliable and kind person to leave her daughter with. Libby had liked her instantly. She had come highly recommended from a local family, who had employed her for both of their young children over the last five years, sadly letting her go now that they were both old enough for primary school. Libby felt happy with the arrangements that they had made and soon settled into her new routine, relishing the precious evenings and weekends that she spent with her daughter. Both Luca and Libby were so busy at work that they hardly seemed to see each other. He would sometimes get back late from client meetings as apparently Sicaro was keen for him to win new business; this – coupled with his football matches and other social engagements with Lorenzo at the weekends – meant that they weren’t spending nearly as much time together. During the weekdays, when Libby had got through the bedtime routine, she often collapsed into bed, desperate for an early night after a long day at work. Juggling work, relationships and motherhood wasn’t easy, but she felt as though she was trying her best. She felt proud of herself, for once, for persevering when the going was tough.

  Chapter Nineteen

  At the beginning of May, it was Izzy’s first birthday. Luca and Libby had organised a birthday tea to celebrate. Miriam, John, Helen and Henry were all invited, as were Angus and Jules as godparents. They were having tea and cake in the flat. Libby had been slaving away over a birthday cake decorated in pale pink icing and masterfully carved into the shape of Peppa Pig. ‘Perhaps I should enter The Great British Bake Off? What do you think?’ she asked.

  ‘I think we should taste it first!’ Luca teased.

  ‘Oy, how dare you? It’s going to be delicious!’

  ‘Of course it will. I’m only joking! You are a fantastic baker. What time is everyone coming over?’ he asked, looking at his watch. He seemed a little on edge for some reason.

  ‘Three o’clock, hopefully.’ She wondered if he was finding it as hard to believe as she did that it had been a year since Izzy had arrived. The memories of going into labour and their brief stay in hospital weren’t far from her mind. They laid the table, and sooner or later the guests arrived bearing gifts wrapped in brightly coloured paper for the birthday girl.

  ‘I cannot believe she is one already,’ said Miriam, cuddling her granddaughter and planting a kiss on her rosy cheek. She was such a chubby little thing, her brown eyes like little round conkers in her angelic face as she beamed her most dazzling smile at her grandmother.

  ‘How time flies,’ agreed Angus. They cut the cake and sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Izzy, who had no idea what was going on but seemed delighted with all the attention she was getting nonetheless. Libby and Luca opened her presents; she had been spoiled with lots of wonderful toys and some lovely new dresses.

  ‘What a lucky girl you are,’ Libby told her as she kissed her on the top of her head. As the others chatted, sipping their tea and eating their cake, Libby noticed that Jules was being rather quiet.

  ‘Everything OK?’ she asked, going over to her friend.

  ‘What? Oh yes, fine! Fine!’ Jules replied, a false brightness to her voice. ‘Sorry, I’m just a bit tired. I’ve been working hard on my coursework… I was up late last night.’

  She had been acting a bit strangely lately, not responding to texts and calls and seeming a bit out of sorts generally. Libby had asked Angus whether everything was OK with them, and he had told her that she had been a bit distant with him.

  ‘That’s weird,’ Libby had said. ‘That’s exactly how I feel she’s being with me.’

  ‘Mmmm. I’m not sure what to do about it,’ Angus had replied. ‘I’m just giving her space. To be honest, I’m so busy working on my latest exhibition, I haven’t really been around much. I’m practically living at the studio trying to get it all done.’

  Libby had been mulling this over for some time. She wondered what was going on; she knew Jules well enough to know that something was up. Perhaps she was finding the graphic design course harder than she had expected. Maybe she was regretting having left her job as an accountant.

  Libby decided to arrange lunch with her the following weekend, just the two of them. After they finished eating, she decided to bite the bullet and tackle Jules’s strange behaviour head on.

  ‘Jules, what’s going on? You seem very quiet recently, not yourself… I’m worried about you.’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ she said. Libby noticed that she was looking very pale.

  Suddenly a thought popped out of nowhere into Libby’s mind. ‘Are you pregnant?’ she asked.

  ‘No!’ Jules said sharply. ‘What on earth makes you think that?’

  ‘You just don’t look quite right, that’s all. Are you ill?’

  ‘Not that I’m aware of…’ Jules tailed off.

  ‘You would tell me, right? You know you can talk to me about anything – anything at all? Are you struggling with the course?’

  Jules took a deep breath and sighed. She was staring blankly out of the window. Libby noticed there were bags under her eyes. She clearly wasn’t sleeping well. ‘Is it you and Angus?’ she tried, taking a different approach. ‘Is everything OK between you two?’

  Jules didn’t say anything, but Libby felt as though she was on the right tracks. ‘Is the baby issue becoming too much of a problem? I know how much he wants a child, and how much you don’t…’

  Jules shook her head.

  ‘What is it?’ she asked again.

  Suddenly a solitary tear rolled down Jules’s cheek. She wiped it away quickly.

  ‘Come on, Jules, you have to tell me.’ Libby leant across the table and took her hand.

  Eventually Jules whispered, ‘I’ve done something stupid,’ so quie
tly that Libby could barely hear her.

  Libby’s heart plummeted. Oh my god, she thought. Jules had had an affair. Suddenly she knew it; it all made perfect sense. ‘Have you cheated on Angus?’ she asked. She could tell from the look on Jules’s face that she was right. She had hit the nail on the head.

  Jules nodded, ever so slightly.

  ‘Oh my god! Jules! How could you? Poor Angus!’ Libby knew this probably wasn’t what Jules wanted to hear, but her heart broke for him. She felt absolutely furious with Jules for hurting him, and at the same time shocked beyond belief that Jules could consider doing such a thing. What the hell was she thinking?

  ‘Who was it?’ she asked. All she could think of was Angus’s face: how hurt, shocked and humiliated he would be if he found out.

  ‘I can’t tell you,’ Jules replied. She couldn’t make eye contact with Libby.

  ‘Do I know him?’ Libby’s mind reeled with potential candidates; she scanned through all their mutual friends, wondering who on earth it could possibly be. Jules wouldn’t answer the question.

  ‘Is he married?’ she asked. Her pulse was racing with anger on Angus’s behalf.

  Jules nodded again, just a fraction, but enough to confirm what Libby had suspected.

  ‘Jules!’ Libby’s mind was reeling. She didn’t know what to say. This was the most awful news she had ever heard.

  ‘Don’t tell Angus,’ Jules said. ‘You have to swear you won’t.’

  She looked so miserable and so fragile sitting there opposite her, her eyes begging Libby to agree to protect her secret. Libby wanted to reach out and hug her. But she was too cross.

  ‘I don’t know, Jules He’s just as close a friend to me as you are.’ Her heart swelled with emotion at the thought of him.

  ‘It will kill him,’ Jules said simply. ‘It’ll destroy our marriage. You can’t. Not even Luca. Promise me you won’t say a word.’