And Then He Kissed Me

by Kim Amos

  “Audrey, please. If you’ll just give me a chance…”

  She shook her head. The truth was, she had given him a chance. And he’d squandered it when he left.

  “Whatever happened, I think it’s best if it just stays in the past. We had our time five years ago. I’m not sure there’s anything left for us.” Her brain reeled as she spoke the words. Was that true? Did she even believe what she was saying?

  Oh, but she couldn’t let this man try to win her back. Five years ago, maybe they could have worked out. But that was a long time ago.

  Things were different now.

  There was a prickling behind her eyes. She turned from him to blink away any tears. The pain surprised her. She wanted to feel more relief, more assurance that she was doing the right thing.

  You are, she told herself. You are.

  When she turned back, his face was shadowed.

  “We should go,” she said, her voice hollow in her own ears.

  Wordlessly, he nodded.

  She slung a leg over the motorcycle and grabbed her helmet, fastening it while he climbed on. The engine rattled her mind, her body, shaking loose a torrent of thoughts. Was she making the right choice? Was this all a terrible mistake?

  Afternoon light dappled the new leaves on the trees, but Audrey couldn’t find any beauty in it. The wind was raw in her face, her seat on the motorcycle lumpy and unforgiving. In front of her, Kieran’s back was as straight and hard as a two-by-four.

  A lump rose in her throat. She studied his rigid muscles, his unbending frame, and told herself it wasn’t so bad.

  She wasn’t the same Audrey Tanner she was five years ago, and this had proved it. Kieran’s steeliness wasn’t her enemy. It was her reward.

  She should embrace it.

  The motorcycle turned away from the sun, into the long afternoon shadows.

  Audrey fought a deep, unforgiving chill that went straight into her marrow.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  The next day, a mist hung in the air, turning the sky and trees the same flat color as the cement under Audrey’s feet. Not even the bright green asparagus cutout she’d spotted in front of Lumberjack Grocery—featuring a smiling mom, dad, and baby asparagus—could offset the flat, dull gray all around.

  The thick, muddled air matched her mood more than she wanted to admit. Since her conversation with Kieran yesterday, Audrey’s thoughts had been clouded, her whole being more than a little off kilter. Her mind had replayed the fiery sex and his unexpected profession in the parking lot over and over, wondering what “truth” Kieran could possibly need to tell her.

  There was a splinter of doubt embedded deep inside about the way she was reacting to all this. It rubbed her emotions raw with every breath. Had she made the right choice by not hearing him out? She still didn’t know, and the uncertainty was making her weary.

  As she headed to the Dane County offices, she trembled at the memory of the intensity with which they’d come together next to the river. As hot as it had been, she wondered if there could be more between them. There had been more, five years ago, the first time they’d made love.

  But that had ended in disaster and heartbreak.

  She shook her head. She’d tried to ignore the soreness in her chest that had been there since they’d parted. But every time she thought about the emotions storming in the pale green seas of Kieran’s eyes or remembered his words of affection, the ache would start all over again.

  Desperate to take her mind off of everything and needing time away from Kieran, Audrey had called in sick to the dealership and instead turned her focus to her recent conversation with Sonja and Caitlin. The idea of helping more people in White Pine become fit—not just high-school kids—was her one bright spot right now.

  Earlier that very morning, on a whim, she’d decided to head down to the YMCA.

  The soggy day had only looked worse in the dull morning light. But inside the clean, carpeted lobby, it had been a colorful mix of oranges and greens. She’d smelled chlorine from the pool, and it reminded her of hotels and vacations.

  “Can I speak with a personal trainer?” she’d asked. Briefly she wondered if she was being too brash—did you need to make an appointment before you saw a trainer?—but the woman behind the front desk simply nodded.

  “Sure thing,” she replied. “Let me get Greg.”

  A few minutes later, a short, compact man entered the lobby, bouncing on the balls of his feet as if he were warming up for a race.

  He held out a hand to Audrey. “Greg Freeman. How can I help?” She shook his hand. He continued to bounce.

  “I have a few questions,” Audrey said. “I was hoping I might be able to speak with someone about training?”

  His gaze flitted up and down her body. Assessing, she realized.

  “Are you training for something specific? Trying to build up to a new fitness level?”

  “I—actually, I was thinking about becoming a personal trainer. But I wanted to talk with someone who was actually doing it. I know you’re busy, so I’m happy to make an appointment if that’s helpful. Or maybe buy you coffee for your time?”

  To her delight, he had twenty minutes before his next client, so in exchange for an energy drink out of a vending machine, he let her pick his brain about which certifications would be necessary, whether she should specialize in a specific kind of training, and how she should go about getting clients.

  Greg’s chatter was as nonstop as his bouncing. Audrey listened and took notes, pausing only when Greg mentioned how much the certifications cost.

  “It’ll probably run you about a grand,” he said, pounding back the last of his energy drink. “There’s certification and there’s testing, too. And sometimes you need specific equipment. Heart rate monitors, for example.”

  Audrey’s heart sank. She decidedly didn’t have a thousand dollars lying around for any of this.

  “Don’t let the cost get you down,” Greg said, reading her expression. “Some places offer scholarships or financing. I funded mine by entering a bodybuilding contest. I took second, which was almost eight hundred bucks in prize money.”

  His comment instantly ignited an idea in her mind. She could feel herself grinning as she thanked him profusely for his time.

  Now, a manila folder under her arm, she was headed into the Dane County offices to see about making her dream a reality.

  Her phone rang just as she reached the building’s front doors. She fished the cell out of her pocket, then held back a groan. It was Casey, who had been trying to reach her for days. She’d ignored the calls, largely because she knew Casey would ask about Kieran, and Audrey didn’t want to talk about him. What had happened on Sunday was surprising and confusing—but it was also private.

  She could still feel Kieran’s mouth on her breasts, could still feel his warm hands on her flesh, could still feel him stretching her until she thought she’d crack wide open. She shivered. She could never tell Casey about any of that. And the parts of Sunday’s fight she could tell Casey about would just have her sister saying what Audrey had already come to terms with—that there was no hope for her and Kieran in the present.

  Still. She had to speak to her sister at some point. She hit talk, silently praying that Arvid Faltskog would be working the county desk when she was done with the call. Arvid was always efficient with paperwork—even if he was grumpy about it.

  “Hey, Casey,” she said, forcing brightness into her voice. She stepped into the building’s foyer, out of the dreary day.

  “I’ve been trying to reach you. Where have you been?”

  I’m fine, thanks for asking, Audrey thought. “Oh, just busy,” she said instead. “I’m on my way right now to enter the Asparagus Queen pageant. Wish me luck.”

  There was a pause. “Why would you do that?”

  Audrey looked down, staring at the swirls in the marble floor. Whites and browns intertwined in the rosy stone like ribbons of marshmallow and chocolate. There are sweet thing
s everywhere if you just look, she thought to herself.

  “Technically, I qualify,” Audrey replied carefully, “since I’m between the ages of twenty-four and forty, and I have lived in White Pine for more than five years. Those are the rules.”

  “Those may be the rules, but it’s still a pageant. Honestly, are you going to wear a gown and give a speech?”

  “I will wear a dress,” Audrey said. “And if the judges ask for a speech, I’ll tell them how much I love White Pine.”

  Casey surprised her by giggling suddenly. “No ventriloquism, though, right? Because that would be nuts.”

  Audrey stopped walking. “Are you seriously bringing up Mr. Chippy right now?”

  Casey laughed harder. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t. But…I haven’t heard from Mr. Chippy since that Hawaiian vacation he took to find some coconuts.”

  Audrey tried to summon irritation at being teased, but instead she laughed at the shared memory of how she’d uncovered a chipmunk puppet at a garage sale when she was eleven, and convinced herself she was a ventriloquist. Casey had helped her write a whole skit with “Mr. Chippy,” which she’d performed at her middle school talent show. Needless to say, the kids loved the endless jokes about nuts—but the teachers, not so much.

  “My nuts are so cold, I’d better hide them in this wood.” Casey hiccupped, losing it now.

  “Casey!” Audrey cried, laughing even more. “Come on. I’m serious. I want to do the asparagus pageant.”

  “You know Chippy’s momma always had her cheeks full of nuts.”

  Audrey clapped her hand over her mouth to hold the laughter back. “Oh my God, stop it right now.”

  But the sisters wound up giggling to each other for several more moments. When she could finally breathe again, Audrey was instantly lighter and more clear-headed. Her sister could be prickly at times, but she was also the only person who could make Audrey laugh until tears leaked from her eyes.

  On the other end, Casey exhaled. “Listen, do what you want, but I just worry about you, Audrey. The pageant is fine, but I just want to make sure it’s not a distraction from finding a real job. And by real job I don’t mean this silly dealership thing.”

  Audrey clutched the phone, wondering how she could explain that part of her actually agreed, and that the pageant was all part of a much bigger plan. She was going to enter the Asparagus Queen pageant—and take back her career by using the prize money to pay for training certifications. After all, it wasn’t as if she were desperate to get back to the dealership anytime soon and face Kieran on the showroom floor.

  “All I’m trying to do,” Casey was saying, “is help you out a bit. Can you understand that?”

  Audrey blinked. Casey had been talking for a while now, but she hadn’t really been listening. “Uh, of course,” she answered blindly.

  “Good. Then let’s meet on Saturday for lunch.”

  “Saturday is the pageant. I have to be onstage by one.”

  “It will still work. Especially if we meet at the Paul Bunyan Diner by noon. Sound okay?”

  “All right,” Audrey agreed, her mind as swirled as the marbled patterns at her feet. She hung up the phone, and pushed Casey out of her brain as she strode to the county desk to file her pageant paperwork.

  When Arvid Faltskog looked up from his post at the county desk and harrumphed a hello, she took it as a good sign.

  * * *

  He’d lost her.

  Kieran let the cold mist batter his face as he raced his bike over rolling farmland, knowing he’d shown his hand and gambled with his terrible cards—and it was no surprise the pot wasn’t his. Audrey Tanner wanted nothing to do with his sad sob story, and he couldn’t blame her one bit.

  Wind threaded through his hair and he savored the feeling. His helmet was locked in the saddlebags on the back, and for once he didn’t mind. He let the clean Minnesota air rush over him fully, thinking that soon he’d be in a different state, helping another dealership.

  He wouldn’t try to stay in White Pine. He wouldn’t try to make his position here permanent. No, he’d move on and let Audrey be free of him, and that would be that.

  Except that he felt like a coward—like a loser, honestly—for giving up so easily. Had he really conquered so many demons in his life only to lose Audrey before he could even tell her the truth?

  His stomach knotted for the hundredth time at the unfortunate reality that he’d thrown her on her back on the riverbed and released the tension between them for a few glorious moments. But she still didn’t know what had really happened five years ago.

  And, very likely, he’d made things worse by not being able to keep his dick in his pants. He grimaced, thinking of how carnal their sex had been. He’d lost himself totally in her, unable to resist, taking her with a force that had surprised him. And she’d responded passionately and eagerly. So much so that the moment they’d finished, he’d wanted to take her again. But he knew he couldn’t until he confessed, and he’d never gotten the chance.

  The truth of it all left him feeling hollowed out and a little bit rotted, too. Like a pumpkin that’s sat on the porch for too many weeks after Halloween.

  He slowed the bike, pulling over to the side of the road. Distant green fields were covered in cottony mist. He could hear cows mooing, but couldn’t see them. They were lost in the haze.

  Kieran set his jaw. The truth will set you free. Wasn’t that the expression? It had been his intent on Sunday to tell Audrey what had really happened five years ago, to tell her what a mistake he’d made and how he’d turned his life around, but he’d only gotten as far as banging her, then wanting something from her. Wanting a future with her, specifically.

  That much, he’d said. It was bad timing. It was idiotic, and if this were a test, he would have failed.

  He pondered the worst card a gambler could hold. A deuce? A mismatched face card? No. The worst card he could hold would be a joker. Not even a card at all.

  Still, he had to put the joker down on the table. Somehow, he had to get her to hear the truth.

  He clutched the handlebars. He had such a ruinous tale to tell, but in ruin there was always redemption. His and Casey’s both, perhaps.

  And if Audrey didn’t see it, well, she could walk away from him. Then she could hate him.

  But he had to try again.

  He revved his engine and pulled back out onto the damp road. It was madness, pursuing Audrey like this. He was risking her heart as well as his own, since this story involved her sister. It involved family. But she needed to know.

  He would ask her once more to hear his story.

  He wasn’t sure what she’d say, but, come hell or high water, he would attempt it.

  If there was anyone out there who could know the worst about him, and dare to love him anyway, it was her.

  Whatever happened, he would show her that joker.

  * * *

  On Thursday, Audrey was rushing down the sidewalk to Knots and Bolts, clutching a Mexican hot dish to her chest, when a dark figure slid to her side and began to keep pace with her.

  “Hi, Ms. Tanner.”

  Audrey stopped cold. In the dim afternoon light, with the mist swirling, she faced Hunter Haglund, trying not to show her surprise.

  “Hunter,” she said, taking in his clean, pressed clothes and polished shoes. She caught a whiff of cologne in the air.

  Hunter stepped in closer, and Audrey looked down the sidewalk toward Knots and Bolts, just a hundred feet away. Golden light poured out of the large window at the front, glittering onto the wet street. It looked warm and inviting—and impossibly out of reach at that very second.

  “Do you have to go somewhere?” Hunter asked. His dark eyes searched hers; strands of his sandy hair swayed in the wind.

  Audrey straightened her spine. “What do you want?” she asked, ignoring his question.

  She thought Hunter would smile creepily, maybe say something menacing, but he surprised her by dropping his gaze to the
sidewalk. “I wanted to say, the school talked to me, and my parents talked to me, too. I didn’t mean to freak you out the other day. You or Alexis. I guess I just wanted to say sorry, and it won’t happen again.”

  Audrey studied the boy. Alexis had been texting her about Hunter earlier in the week, so she knew the school had gotten involved. She knew Hunter’s parents had been told about the boy’s behavior. What she hadn’t known was that Hunter would be so easily altered. She narrowed her eyes. She wasn’t sure she believed it.

  He backed away slightly. “I’m sorry if I startled you. I just wanted to apologize. For the incident on the road.” His mouth was pulled into a contrite line.

  Audrey wasn’t sure what to say. She certainly hoped the school and his parents had knocked some sense into him.

  “I’m glad you understand the situation,” she said after a moment. “That’s a good first step. From now on, respecting Alexis’s boundaries is not a request, it’s a rule.” She didn’t want him thinking that he was off the hook because he was sorry. What he needed to do was totally and completely stop pursuing the poor girl.

  Hunter nodded. “That won’t be a problem.”

  “Good.” Audrey shifted the Mexican hot dish in her arms. At this rate, it was going to be frigid by the time she got to Knots and Bolts. Hunter just watched her, which made her skin prickle with unease. The kid really, really needed to pick up on more social cues. “All right, then. I need to go. Good night, Hunter.”

  She began walking away. Hunter didn’t move. “Good night, Ms. Tanner,” she heard him say to her retreating back.

  She would have given him a wave, but both her hands were wrapped around her hot dish. She supposed it was just as well.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The dreary afternoon was forgotten the minute Audrey stepped inside Knots and Bolts. The back room’s bright red table was adorned with a large crystal vase filled with cheerful spring flowers—grape hyacinths, soft-petaled irises, bold tulips, butter-yellow daffodils, and bluebells. Their colors were a perfect match for the tones in the room’s homey, braided rug. Best of all, Audrey’s friends were already gathered in the cozy space, sipping coffee or tea or wine, and murmuring at the warm, spicy smell wafting in from the kitchenette. It was Betty’s tortilla soup, the perfect complement to Audrey’s Mexican hot dish.