What She Wanted

by Julie Anne Lindsey

  “Here you go.” Heidi bopped back into view with two red Solo cups. “Cheers!” She tipped her cup to mine then pressed it to her lips.

  “What is it?” It didn’t smell like anything I recognized.

  Her smile widened. “Moonshine!”

  All right. I peered into the cup. “Wait. What?”

  “Moonshine. Tommy Barker said his dad has a still in the woodshed behind their house, and he stole a bunch of bottles for the party tonight.”

  I took her cup and turned it over in the grass before doing the same with mine.

  Her jaw dropped. “Hey! What the hell?”

  “You don’t know what’s in there. Tommy Barker’s an idiot. How do you know he didn’t accidentally bring bottles of turpentine?”

  She crossed her arms. “You might have a point. I bet we could make moonshine.”

  “Probably. How hard can it be for two brilliant women with YouTube access?”

  “Fine. Put that on our summer fun list.”

  “Done.” I tucked my camera safely into its bag and pushed it over one hip.

  “What do you want to drink now? Beer?”

  “I’ll take a beer. Something unopened, if possible.”

  “No roofies. Got it.” She strolled back into the thickest part of the crowd, presumably toward the drinks. I took a few steps away from where I’d poured the who-knows-what and looked for a trash can.

  Somewhere in the treetops, an owl and whippoorwill battled for attention. There were probably no whippoorwills in New York, just honking cabbies and people who never slept. My imagination was good, but I couldn’t imagine life in a city that big. Sharing a tiny apartment ten stories in the air. Riding subways and not gawking at Times Square.

  I tossed our cups into a trash can and mouthed the words to an old Taylor Swift song while fantasizing about a love-struck man climbing the fire escape outside my apartment window. I bobbed my head along with the lyrics. Taylor was my form of nostalgia.

  A shadowed couple strode arm in arm in my direction. I sidestepped, eager to get out of their way.

  “Look what I found.” Heidi’s jubilant voice was recognizable before her beaming face.

  My shoulders dropped from where I’d unintentionally stowed them against my ears.

  Her short gingham sundress was perfect with little brown cowgirl boots and pigtails. What she had on her arm looked even better.

  “Hey.” Dean’s smile lit up the night and sent electricity through my heart. The brim of his ball cap was curled tightly and tugged over his forehead low enough to hide his beautiful eyes. “I didn’t believe her when she said you came tonight. I thought this wasn’t really your scene.”

  I shot him a crazy face. “I’m here to make friends.” A dorky laugh barked out. I covered my face with one hand. “You’re right. This is the opposite of my scene.”

  “So, this is about the list?”

  Heidi touched the tip of her nose, indicating he’d nailed it.

  They exchanged a long look and flanked my sides, twining their arms under mine. Dean’s warm, musky scent intoxicated me. I shook off the spell and reminded myself not to creep on my new friend. All those years of crushing were over. We were friends now, and that was more than I’d ever expected.

  “I got you this.” He handed me a cold bottle of water.

  “Thanks.”

  Heidi had a new red cup, so I’d definitely be driving. “Someone brought a keg. I know how you feel about being drugged.”

  Dean chuckled beside me. “How do you feel about being drugged?”

  “Not a fan.”

  Heidi tipped her cup and made a show of enjoying the contents. “We’re in Woodsfield, not Woodstock.”

  “I think those people drugged themselves.”

  Dean slid his hand around mine and laughed. His breath tickled the top of my head.

  Heidi dropped my arm when we got near the lake. “Hey! That looks like Sam. I’ll catch up to you two in a few.” She laughed and wiggled her head side to side. “I rhymed.”

  She jogged to the figure in question and threw her arms around his neck.

  “I guess that’s her cousin?” I tipped my head back for a look at Dean. “I haven’t seen Sam in years.”

  He released my hand and shoved his fingers deep into his pockets. “That’s the one.”

  A chill replaced the warmth of his skin on mine, and I shivered.

  “Hey, man.” Dean shook several hands in a passing group of people I didn’t know and gave weird, one-armed guy hugs to a few in the crowd. “This is Katy Reese. Katy, this is…” The names blurred together.

  I’d never remember them. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” they responded.

  A girl almost as tall as me with a willowy build and straight blonde hair gave me a longer look than the others. “You’re the little neighbor girl?”

  If eighteen and five foot eight was little, then yeah. “Katy,” I reminded her.

  She slid her eyes to Dean and nodded. “Nice to meet you, Katy.”

  Dean slid a warm palm against the small of my back. “I thought it was time I introduced her to my friends. Friends, this is Katy.”

  I stepped back on instinct, but Dean’s hand held me in place. I waved and smiled.

  Dean made small talk with the group and pointed out things I had in common with his friends. They eyed me collectively and curiously with somewhat expectant faces. I tried not to say anything infinitely stupid.

  Never had so many people taken an interest in me. Definitely never at once.

  When I’d satisfied everyone’s curiosity and exchanged numbers with two art majors, the group loosened. Some found seats on nearby stumps, logs, and patches of grass close enough to the fire to be warm without overheating. The conversations broke into bits and Dean led me away.

  He turned to me when we were out of earshot, cloaked in the shadow of an oak tree, our private island. “How was that? Ten new friends.”

  I glanced at the slightly dispersed crew and nodded. “Good.”

  “What else is on the list?”

  I sipped my water and thought about my answer, instead of the fact our shoes were close enough to touch. “Laugh.”

  “I love your laugh. What else?”

  Heat scorched a path up my neck. I turned my attention to the lake. “Be kind.”

  “Cake. Done.”

  I dared a look into his eyes, hidden in the shadow of his ball cap. “How do you know? I could be a real meaner.”

  He laughed. “Right.”

  “I’m serious. How do you know I’m not a total bitch?” My smile pulled wider, defeating my argument.

  He shook his head infinitesimally. “Because I know you. Kindness runs in your blood. You barely said bitch without blushing.”

  I looked away. He was right about that last part. “What do you think you know?”

  “I know I’ve seen you help kids pick up dropped books in a crowded hallway. You carry groceries to cars for people you aren’t shopping with at the grocery store.” He snapped his fingers. “This week you left cake in your mailbox for the postman. Who does that?”

  Me.

  “My mom said you made her soup every day for a week last winter when she had the flu, and you shoveled her driveway when the blizzard came and she wasn’t quite up to the task yet.”

  “I was already clearing our drive,” I mumbled. “I like it outside, and I was already bundled well enough for the Arctic.”

  He sighed audibly. “Stop it. You’ve nailed kind. What else do you have?”

  “Love Grandpa.”

  He circled a finger, telling me to move on.

  I mentally skipped over the scary and embarrassing ones like Let the world know you and Fall in love. I also slid the fact I’d called Mark “Grandpa” to the back of my mind for later consideration. I hadn’t called him Grandpa since Grandma died. “Give.”

  “Give what?”

 
“I don’t know. It just says Give. Random acts of kindness and forgiveness are on the same line. Those I understand, but I’m not sure about Give.” I didn’t have anything to give.

  “Do you think she meant money? Like, give to charity?”

  I raised my brows. Who knew? “All that one says is Give. Maybe it was more of a title for that request than an actual instruction.”

  “Huh.” He settled onto the grass and stretched a hand up to pull me down beside him. “I haven’t seen you in a couple days. How’ve you been?”

  “Better. Worse.”

  “Understandable. Mom’s been dragging me to every relative’s house in the state after work. I’ve seen family I never knew I had.”

  I bumped my shoulder against his and laughed. “Be glad you have family. It’s not overrated.”

  “What about you? What’s new?”

  “I’m ready to talk to Joshua.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep.”

  Seriousness crowded over his features. “What will you say?”

  I cleared my throat for an excellent Darth Vader impression. “Joshua. You are my father.”

  Something twinkled in Dean’s eyes. “The straightforward approach. I like it.”

  I sensed a hidden meaning but didn’t want to read into it. No reason to make a complete idiot of myself by assuming the look had anything to do with me. I refocused on the conversation at hand. “Mark said Joshua refused to sign my birth certificate. He chased him away and he never came back. I’d like to ask him why he never came back.”

  Dean’s arm curved around my shoulders and tugged me into the sharp V in his side. “Don’t think less of me for saying this, but I get why some guys would run.”

  I pulled my head back to glare at him. “Thanks.”

  He crushed me against him. “Not because of you. Because they’re scared. I can’t imagine having a kid. I would’ve stepped up and handled it like a man, even if I felt like a child, but I get why he might’ve fled. Mark scares the shit out of me sometimes, and he’s old. Imagine how intimidating he would’ve been eighteen years ago, while protecting his dying daughter. Hell, my mom makes me cower if she thinks I did something to endanger myself. I can’t imagine how feral she’d be if she thought someone else tried to hurt me. She’d probably do some damage before I peeled her off the guy. You should’ve heard her when I fell off the barn roof in middle school. She yelled at me all the way to the hospital.”

  “She was scary that day.”

  He dropped his head forward. “You heard that? She was nuts. I was more afraid of what she’d do when I got home than what might happen at the hospital.”

  “I remember.” I’d watched the ambulance tear out of sight and wondered what Mark would say if I broke my arm. I’d wondered if he’d care enough to yell about how much it scared him or how he needed me to be careful because he didn’t want to lose me.

  Dean lifted his face and pulled his hat off. “Anyway, I’m not saying leaving was okay. I’m just saying I can see how it happens sometimes, and coming back when you’ve been coward enough to run in the first place has to be awful. Give him a chance to make it up before you write him off, okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  He pressed his cap back over his hair.

  I channeled Mom’s bravery and pushed the question from my lips I’d been holding back. “How’d you know that stuff about me helping kids in the hallway and carrying groceries for people with their hands full?”

  The easygoing look on his face morphed into something I didn’t understand. He turned for a look at the shimmering water before us. “Maybe you weren’t the only one keeping watch on your neighbor.”

  I pressed my mouth shut when I realized it had fallen open. “I’m not keeping watch.”

  Dean smiled. “No. Right. Of course not. Me either.” His smile widened. “You didn’t go to prom my senior year.”

  “So? I was only a sophomore.”

  “Yes, but a senior asked you. My friend asked you. Sophomores never say no to prom.”

  “That guy was your friend?”

  He nodded. “He was kind of a dick, but he hung with my crowd. He saw me looking at you one too many times and tried to push my buttons by asking you to prom. He made lots of colorful comments about what he had planned for you on prom night, but I couldn’t react. I had Kylie, after all, and you and I were basically strangers.”

  I split a blade of grass down the center and tied the pieces into a knot. “I had a feeling there was an ulterior motive for a senior to ask me to prom.” Dean had been caught watching me three years ago?

  “He was a jerk. I wasn’t much better. It was shitty of me to feel relieved when you turned him down, but I did.”

  I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. “Sounds like I dodged a bullet. I’m only speculating on his plans for me, of course.”

  “I would’ve kicked his ass if he pulled any of that nonsense for real. You were too good for him. You’re too good for most of this town. People aren’t usually what they seem, you know? They put out the good stuff for show then burn you when you look behind the curtain. You’re not like that.”

  My heart broke a little for him. “I’m just me. I guess I haven’t seen behind many curtains.” I’d found most people to be exactly what I expected.

  Wind lifted my hair onto his shoulder.

  He wound the length around his finger and leaned closer. “Katy?” Fire burned in his eyes. His chest filled and dropped in quick little breaths.

  “Yeah?” My mouth drifted a little closer, pulled by the beauty of his full lips and the scent of his warm, delicious skin. I imagined the contrast of those soft lips against the rough shadow of scruff cropping up on his cheeks, and I longed to press my palms to his face.

  A cushion of heat formed between our chests as he drew nearer. The party faded into nothingness, swallowed by the night, forgotten. Music and owls and laughter and whippoorwills grew silent. He tilted his chin, making room for his nose next to mine.

  I closed my eyes in anticipation of the greatest moment of my life. My fingers curled in my lap.

  He clutched my hips in his strong hands.

  I gasped as electricity rocketed through me. My eyes opened. Did he feel it too?

  Dean’s heavy lids retracted into a wide-eyed stare. “I know what to do.”

  What? Reality snapped against my skin like a wet locker room towel.

  He released me and I rocked back without him to hold me in place. Dean was on his feet, turning in a circle, while I fumbled to figure out what had just happened.

  “There she is.” He slid his palm against mine and pulled me up. “I know what you can give.”

  He was thinking of my list? Right now? Really?

  He pulled me toward the lake. “Let’s see if Heidi needs a ride home.”

  I fumbled along behind him, towed by his strong arm and determined gait. “Where are we going?”

  He looked over his shoulder. A mischievous grin crept over his face. “Your room, of course.”

  “Of course.” I picked up the pace, both eager and terrified to see what he had in mind.

  I trusted Dean to be a gentleman, but I doubted there was an ovary on Earth who wouldn’t take him up on any offer.

  Chapter 15

  With Dean in my room, everything was smaller. I snapped the light on and shut my door. Heidi bounced on my bed and scattered my pillows onto the floor. “Whoops.”

  Dean snorted. “You tried the moonshine, didn’t you?” He curled long fingers over his narrow hips as he circled my room.

  She patted the comforter beside her. “Yep. Katy and I are going to make our own moonshine soon. Ours will be much better than Tomey Barkersh dad’s.”

  He gave me a look and kept moving. “Thanks for the warning. I’ll keep the fire department on speed dial.”

  “Hey.” I had no intention of setting up a moonshine still in the backyard, but I took offense
at his lack of faith. “I could make amazing moonshine if I wanted.”

  He shook his head and ignored me.

  Heidi lifted a fist over her head in agreement and dropped it back to her side. “I’m tired.”

  I tossed fallen pillows onto my bed and threw a blanket over her legs. “Shh. If Mark wakes up, there will be lots of swearing.”

  “I love you.”

  I bonked her head with a stuffed monkey and turned to Dean. “If she starts hiccupping and singing again, you have to take her home.”

  Dean examined the moon photos over my bed. “I’m not taking her anywhere else like that.”

  “Are you guys talking about me?”

  “Nope.” We answered in unison.

  “Good. I’m tired. Did I say that already?”

  Dean pointed to the moons. “These are good.”

  Heidi giggled, eyes closed. “Katy’s obsessed with the moon, and also, with you.” She pointed in the wrong direction.

  Dean tracked the object of her finger to empty wall space and raised his brows at me.

  Nerves percolated in my gut. I needed redirection before Heidi said anything else I’d have to kill her for in the morning. “What are we doing here, exactly?”

  Obviously he wasn’t planning to take my clothes off as I’d hoped. He’d taken Heidi’s keys and insisted she come with us after giving the guy she’d been hanging on a death glare. The guy wasn’t too happy to lose her attention, but he didn’t get in Dean’s way.

  He fingered a row of ribbons from the county fair. “How long have you been the town photographer?”

  “Always.” I’d entered photography contests every year since fifth grade. I did well at the fair. “Tell me what you’re up to.”

  He closed the distance between us with a grin. “Giving.”

  “I still have no idea what you mean. You know that, right?”

  He slid onto my desk chair and bumped his knees on the too-short desk. “Where do you keep your picture files?” He rubbed his knee with one hand.

  I moved behind the chair and imagined knotting my fingers in his hair. “Files. Sky drive. Dreams.”

  “Dreams?”

  “They all seem a little surreal to me. Like dreams.” Kind of like having Dean-freaking-Wells in my room at two in the morning.