by Lainy Lane
I realized in that instant that I wanted him. More than I’d ever wanted anything. Even if it wasn’t right. Even if it didn’t make sense. Even if I hadn’t planned it. I wanted him. I needed him to feel the same satisfaction from loving me as I received from loving him. I wanted to let him inside my walls. It was now or never. It was a shot I had to take regardless of the terror it kindled in me.
I walked over to him and placed the palm of my hand on the back of his neck. I let him in. I opened myself to him and gave him the vulnerability I’d always been scared to allow myself to give to anyone.
He turned and instantly touched his lips to mine. His arms embraced me as if they needed nothing more than to wrap around my body forevermore. He pulled me into him as closely as he could. I felt heat rising from both our bodies as he kissed me in a way that showed just how desperately he’d needed this. He wanted me. All he'd ever needed was for me to stop resisting. He was conferring his gratitude for me finally giving that to him as his lips seared into mine and I melted under his touch.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Ember feebly knocked on the door and distracted us from our stupor of making up.
“We thought you might need some tea,” she whispered as she and Ethereal forced their way into my room. “There’s more sitting space that survived in here than there is in the living room, so we decided to invade your privacy.”
What she actually meant by that was that it was time for us to all sit down and discuss where we were going to go from here. We needed a plan. Apparently, I’d managed to intensify the civil war already waging between witches and vampires. Vulcan and his crew were going to come after us for revenge. We needed to prepare for the worst. Another Blue Moon probably would’ve come in handy to intensify our magic and weigh the odds in our favor. Unfortunately, there wouldn't be another one for almost a decade.
I knew it was something that needed to be discussed, sooner rather than later. But I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was hoping to discover some super energizing tea in the cauldron teapot Ethereal was placing on the floor next to my couch.
“How is your leg feeling?” Ethereal asked.
“Better, thanks,” I tried to shoot a convincing smile her way.
“She still needs to be sitting because she’s ignoring the pain,” Phoenix chimed.
The moment I’d let my walls down again, the bond had reignited for him. There was a relief I felt at having the bond back, and there was also a part of me that was still feeling standoffish about it. The whole ordeal was going to take some adjusting. The logic portion of my brain was working to convince me that I was going to end up deceived, again. My heart was striving to disregard that message. I was just trying to figure out where I was supposed to go from there without my head exploding somewhere in the process.
Phoenix put his hand on the small of my back and directed me to the couch. Oh, I hated coddling. I was a big girl. I was a witch for goodness sakes.
“I’m not babying you. I’m insisting you take care of yourself,” he declared.
I rolled my eyes.
Ember immediately leaped off of the couch when I sat down. “Here, prop your leg up,” she insisted.
“Not necessary, really,” I pressed. “It’s okay, just gets extra achy if I stand for too long. Please sit back down.”
She obliged my request.
“What’d you make this time, Ethereal?” I asked, watching her pour tea into cups for each of us.
“Maté.” She beamed. “Figured since none of us have slept, we could use a little energy.”
“Oh, thank Nyx!” I eagerly seized the cup from her and took a sip. It was slightly bitter, but had berry undercurrents.
“So, Phoenix,” Ember laced her voice with bitterness. She wasn’t one to forgive easily. Neither was I, so I tried to be understanding of her skepticism. Phoenix would have to work very hard to gain her acceptance. “You know Vulcan best. How do you suppose he will react to this situation?”
Phoenix shrugged his shoulders. He stood behind me and passed me my pack of cigarettes, just as the thought popped into my mind that I could use one. The bond just might have its perks after all. I was attempting to force the benefits to weed out the doubts still floating through my mind. I lit a cigarette to shut myself out of my head for a bit.
“Not sure really,” he began. “This is unprecedented obviously. Have you ever heard of a witch taking someone's Vampirism before? I don’t think anyone knew it was even possible. He’s going to need some time to think and research before he acts. Vulcan never does anything without a carefully laid out plan.”
“The question is, how much time do we have?” Ethereal practically sang. How she had any energy after the night we'd had I couldn't understand.
No one knew what to say or think regarding that. We were in unchartered territories. There was probably a reason behind that. What I’d managed to do was impossible, if it hadn’t been for the power of the Blue Moon we wouldn’t be having this discussion at all. I found myself wishing that the Blue Moon didn’t exist at all, although if that were the case, we’d all be dead instead of only Ember. There were good parts and bad parts to the place we found ourselves. As the good things in life tended to be brought on by not so good things, I would need to learn to accept the good with the bad. It was a coexistence I refused to be happy about, even if resistance was futile.
“Let’s start with putting a tracker spell on him. At least, that way we’ll have some indication of when he decides to come for us,” Ember suggested.
“We need to figure out how this happened,” Phoenix stated. “Preferably before Vulcan does.”
“Couldn’t he just have one of the other pack members turn him into a vampire again?” I asked as I puffed my cigarette and ignored the look Ethereal was giving me. It seemed obvious enough to me. If he was that upset about me taking his Vampirism away, why wouldn’t he just have someone give it back to him?
“Absolutely not,” Phoenix chuckled. “He’s got too much pride. Vulcan is power hungry, that’s why he started the clan in the first place. He wouldn’t allow someone else to have the upper hand. If one of the other members turned him back, he would then be underneath them. He would surrender his place as the leader, and he won’t take that chance. Not until he exhausts all recourses to see if he can get things back to the way they were before. Hell, knowing him, he might accept being human before he gives one of his pawns the upper hand over him.”
“He’s already not the leader anymore, though, right?” Ethereal asked. “I mean, he isn’t a vampire right now. He doesn’t have the power to control them any longer, does he?”
“Maybe not, but it will still take some time before anyone has the nerve to challenge him. We may all have been inclined to listen to him because he created us, but there was also a level of mutual respect that made us want to give our loyalty to him. He’s a leader because that’s who he is, not just because he changed all of us.” I could feel the internal conflict Phoenix was battling as he discussed his leader in this way. “Vampires are naturally territorial and competitive. I don’t doubt that there will be some sort of uprising if he’s unable to return to being the leader. But it will take a bit before anyone gets the nerve to challenge him even if there isn’t anything physically limiting them from doing so anymore. It goes against everything we’ve come to know as normal.”
“Alright, I don’t think we have another choice, guys.” Ethereal’s voice suddenly wasn’t as giddy as it usually was.
Ember and I looked at each other. We knew what she was about to suggest, but we still couldn’t believe it. Ethereal had spent a lot of time staying away from her past. We all had. She was going to sacrifice the comfort of that distance to give us the upper hand in this battle. Was it a sacrifice we were willing to allow her to make? Did we have another choice? Would it even make a difference?
“We’re going to have to go see my mother,” she finally said as she poured herself another cup of tea. “If anyone
can give us answers as to how this happened, it’s going to be her.” The last few words came out with a crack.
Ember and I still sat in a silent standoff, weighing our odds. Deciding if this was truly the only choice we had. It was. Deep down we knew that, but we didn’t want it to be. Ember and I would have given anything to find a solution that didn’t involve Ethereal having to confront her demons. The primary goal in all of our lives was finding a way to move on from, or gain revenge over, our pasts. None of us wanted to approach the parts of our lives that had turned us into what we had become unless it ended in vengeance.
“Someone want to fill me in on this?” Phoenix interrupted the silent communication between Ember and me.
“My mother is an Oracle for Nyx,” Ethereal explained, without looking up at Phoenix.
“Which means what exactly?” he questioned. “My witch knowledge is a bit limited. Forgive me if I’m a bit clueless on what you guys are talking about.”
“It means,” I took over the explanation for Ethereal who had begun pacing along the back wall of my room. Ember went to comfort her. “That she has a direct link to Nyx, the Goddess of night, the Goddess of witches. Ethereal’s mother, Sage, is the only person on Earth that has a direct connection with Nyx.”
“So then,” Phoenix whispered, apparently picking up that Ethereal was upset by the situation and he didn't want to disturb her further with his questions, “why don’t you guys ever talk to Sage? It seems like that would be an advantage that you guys could use on a regular basis.”
“Because—” Ethereal stopped walking and turned back to us and took over the explanation. It was her personal story, which gave her the right to want to be the one to disclose the information. I willingly granted her that much. “—to become an Oracle, sacrifices are made. Nyx calls you to be an Oracle, but once chosen, you have to prove your loyalty to Nyx and Nyx alone. Being the Oracle takes dedication and no distractions, including family.” She paused, and we all allowed her to take the time she needed before continuing. “For my mother, her distractions were my father and me. My father was human, so he could know nothing of her new fate. To sever ties with him, she killed him. While I watched.” The last part of her explanation was barely audible as she choked the words out.
“She was nine,” I added in a whisper to Phoenix.
“I was only allowed to live because my magic had already begun to present itself. I was granted life on the basis that I would be able to understand who and what Sage needed to become. I was to forgive her for the crime she’d committed and accept that she would no longer be my mother. I was left alone from there on out. I haven’t heard from my mother since.” With her explanation over, her voice picked back up to her standard pitch, and she returned to her usual stance of pretending nothing bad was happening. “Who wants more tea?”
I raised my empty cup. It was obvious we were getting no sleep, I might as well take advantage of the limited energy the tea could offer me.
“So, how do we find her?” Phoenix was a down to business kind of person. Given the lack of sleep we were dealing with, he was ready to scurry through planning our next step. He wanted to attempt to get in at least a few moments of sleep before having to act on the plan.
He didn’t know Ethereal enough to realize that the way she was acting was her putting her mask back on and trying to ignore the dreadful past she had. The three of us each had our own masks we used to cover our scars from our pasts. Mine was anger; I blocked people out, Phoenix had quickly discovered that much about me. Ember would get snappy when she was dealing with stress; she would get drastically irritable. Typically we just ignored her outbursts until she finally admitted what was bothering her. Ethereal, on the other hand, acted normal, as always. She bottled things up, worked hard not to allow anyone to see that anything was bothering her at all. I had a feeling one day she would burst from all she’d lock up inside of her. So far, she seemed to have kept it all contained very well. I wasn’t looking forward to the day we saw what happened when she finally had enough, and everything spewed out of her. Part of me figured this issue would be the last straw that would show us an out of control Ethereal. I gulped down the images my mind played out on what might transpire if I was right.
“She’s my mother. I’m still connected to her, even if she gave me up for her calling. I can figure out where she is. It’s just something I’ve chosen not to do, for both of our sakes.” Ethereal poured us all refills. “I’ll figure it out, and I’ll let you know the plan to approach her. But it’s a connection I need to make alone.” She looked at Ember and me as she said it.
As much as we wanted to be there to support her in the sacrifice she was making to approach emotional issues she’d masked for over a decade; we respected her enough to allow her to do it on her own. We would’ve wanted the same respect if the tables turned on one of us.
“Go ahead,” I whispered.
Ethereal walked out of the room without another word.
“I’ll just leave you two to—” Ember grimaced a bit. “Well, I’ll just leave,” she finished as she walked out the door as well.
“Don’t worry. She’ll come around eventually,” I assured Phoenix. “Ember’s like an M&M. She might have a tough casing, but once you break through it, she’s really sweet inside.” I smiled.
“If you say so.” He shrugged.
He walked around the couch, picked up my legs, and placed them gently on the couch. A cocky smile crossed his face before he laid on top of me. My heart picked up the direction he intended to take the time alone, and its pace increased in response.
“Since we have some time to kill,” he said huskily, “let’s make up for lost time, shall we?”
“You do have some groveling to do,” I dared him.
He closed the gap between our lips. Our mouths crashed into each other with a passion we’d yet to experience before I had let him in fully. The heat instantly rose in the room as I wrapped my arms around him.
“Challenge accepted.” He smiled dangerously.
The problem with saying no to Phoenix was that I’d already had a taste. I knew, deep down, I wouldn’t ever be able to give him up. Not really. I allowed him to make the world around us dissipate, even if it was only for a bit.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“Oh! Willow tree!” Ember exclaimed.
“You know, I really feel like you girls have an unfair advantage over me with this game,” Phoenix pouted, and I ran a finger over his lips.
We had been walking through the woods for what seemed like an eternity, following Ethereal’s lead. It was strange for Ember and me to witness her so on edge. She was supposed to be the calm and collected one that was trying to force Ember and me to chill. We’d attempted to lighten the mood of the journey to see Sage by playing the alphabet game. Ethereal had yet to participate.
“How so?” Ember accused, “We’re walking through the same woods, aren’t we?”
“Yes, but being that you’re all witches, you know the names of plants and trees and things that I don’t.” Phoenix scoffed sounding a bit like a toddler.
I chuckled and lit a cigarette.
“So then, what would you call that?” Ember asked, pointing to the tree that she’d just identified as being a willow.
“I don’t know,” Phoenix shrugged, “a green tree.”
Ember laughed, “And how about that one?” She pointed to a very different type of tree several feet away.
“A darker green tree?” He winced, apparently realizing the absurdity of his response.
“Original,” I scoffed.
“Don’t you dare—” Ethereal turned to me with her face set in disgust, “—ash that thing on this sacred earth!” Her breathing was deep, and I was instantly aware that challenging her would be a huge mistake.
“Um—” I turned to Ember for support, she pretended to be distracted. “Where am I supposed to do it then?”
“Maybe you just shouldn’t have lit it in the first place. Ea
rth doesn’t appreciate it you know.” Ethereal's eyes were glowing in a way I'd only ever seen Ember's do.
“I think it’s a little late for that now.” I shrugged, unsure of how to approach the situation.
Ethereal had never lost her cool with me, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. If it had been anyone else, I would’ve stung them with a quick comeback and ashed my cigarette anyways. If it had been any other day, I probably still would’ve done that even though it was Ethereal. This situation had brought out a side of Ethereal she’d kept hidden ever since I’d known her. I couldn’t blame her for her emotions getting the best of her, not today. Despite her having an excuse to be acting out of character, I still wasn’t sure how to handle this side of her. Neither was Ember, who was choosing to ignore it more or less. My temperament didn’t know how to keep quiet the way Ember was. I was too confrontational for biting my tongue and remaining silent, especially under stress.
Phoenix must’ve sensed the temptation I was battling against myself. He grabbed my hand, and I swallowed down everything my conscience wanted to say. Ethereal would need some grace today, and I was going to have to give it to her. I waited until she turned back around and ashed before taking another long drag.
“You realize I know you still did it.” She scoffed.
Of course she did. I knew she would know when I acted, but what other choice did I have? I was in a catch twenty-two situation. There wasn't an option that didn’t result in Ethereal yelling at me.
“Oh look, xerophyte!” I took a page out of Ember’s book and decided to change the subject before I said something I might regret. I sighed my relief as the desire to respond negatively dissipated slightly.