Clarissa sits on the love seat uncertain as to what she should say. Her grandfather is a tall, robust man, with a bald head, and glasses. He must have been reading the paper because it's still clutched in his hands. She did notice his eyes they were the same eyes she sees in the mirror every day.
"My mother told me months ago that the man I'd always known as my father was not my natural father. It has taken me some time to deal with this situation because it explained the friction that existed between my mother and me. I came here wondering how to explain whom I am, but you already knew about me."
Etta Mae sat down next to Clarissa and Jim sat across from them in the easy chair. "Honey we've always knew about you, since the day of your birth. Helen loved our boy, and she made sure that we had access to you, even if it were only through photos."
"You seem so complacent; when I found out the family's secret I was angry and felt cheated. Why didn't you demand to see me? You had a right to see me, and I had the right to know my grandparents."
Etta Mae patted Clarissa hand, "Times were different, not like now-a-days, back then grandparents didn't have any rights. Look around at the pictures on the wall; we did see you grow up even if we didn't have contact."
Clarissa looked around the room; there were photos of her at various stages in life. There were photos of other children too. "James isn't your only child."
Jim finally gets over his shock of seeing his oldest grandchild. "Three sons, James Jr., Marcus, and Nathaniel. Your father died in an airplane crash with his troop, no one ever explained the circumstances of the crash. Marcus adored his older brother. After joining the army, he gets injured in the Persian Gulf War. We prayed for his safe return, are prayers were answered, but didn't return the same. He died of lung cancer ten years ago. Nathaniel married right out of high school and lives in Seattle with his wife and three children, two girls and one boy."
Etta Mae goes into another room and brings a photo album, giving it to Clarissa. "We're so proud of you and James would be too. You're so smart; we attended your high school and college graduations. No grandparents were prouder than we were."
Clarissa opened the photo album; there were photographs and newspaper clippings detailing her whole life's history. "I'm so sorry."
"What are you sorry about? We may not have been in your life, but you were a part of our lives. We did hear that you were getting married, but I guessed that you changed your mind."
Clarissa closed the photo album and studied the faces of her grandparents. It's obvious to her that they were lovely people who just wanted to know about her. "My ex-fiancé has relationship issues, the kind that keeps him from committing to just one woman."
Etta Mae raised an eyebrow, giving her husband a pointed look. "You did the right thing baby. If you don't love him enough to forgive him his transgressions, the marriage never would have worked. Don't worry, when the right man comes along you'll recognize him; he'll be the man you can't live without."
"Could you tell me about my father? I would like for you to be in my life from this day forward."
"We would love to tell you anything you want to know about James. It's almost lunch time, do you have time to eat with us."
"I can make the time." Clarissa followed her grandmother in the kitchen. When her grandfather didn't follow right away, her grandmother yelled his name.
"Jim! Come on now, lunch is ready."
"I'm coming Etta Mae." Jim is still somewhat in shock. They prayed over the years for the opportunity to see their granddaughter face to face. He closed his eyes, images of his son James flashed through his mind. "She has your eyes son, and she also has you goodness. Rest easy now son your baby has finally come home." Jim wiped the tears from his eyes and hurried into the kitchen, lest his wife talk poor Clarissa to death.
***
Clarissa didn't get back to her parent's house until later that afternoon. She goes up to her old bedroom and lies across the bed. Meeting her grandparents and trying to absorb a lifetime of memories has drained her psyche. She needed to talk to someone who isn't a family member. Normally Alison is the first person she called with all the happenings in her life. Today she couldn't fathom sharing her news with anyone but Julian.
She called his cell phone and he picked up after the first ring. "Julian, did I interrupt something."
"Not at all, my aunt and uncle took off with Micah and left me here all alone. I've been sitting here thinking how I can get you to move in with me and Micah that won't ruffle your feathers."
Clarissa swallowed several times before responding. "How about you just ask me?"
"Can it truly be that simple? I envisioned you throwing up all types of roadblocks to stay out of my clutches and away from my cave. Anyway, that's not why you called. Tell me what's troubling you baby."
"Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice."
"Oh baby I know you better than that, you may want to talk to me, but you didn't call to hear me talk."
Clarissa clung to the raspy voice of her lover. "Do you remember after meeting me how you threatened to take me from my fiancé and proceeded to offer me a job in Chicago?"
"Of course, that's the day I decided that you would make a wonderful new addition in my life."
She envisioned his rakish smile. "That weekend brought several revelations to light. Not only did Lawrence screw half the female population in Orlando, my sister included. I'm sure you already knew that. The next day I find out that the man I know as daddy isn't my natural father." The line got quiet. "Julian?"
"I'm still here baby, you have my complete attention."
"That same day my Aunt Helen told me that my real father's parents' were still alive and would love to meet me one day. Well today, I decided to see my grandparents, and meeting them has added so much to my life. They showered me with more love than my mother has given me in my whole life."
Julian hears the crack of emotion in her voice and wishes he could be there with her. "Ah sweetheart. I wish I could be with you right now just so I could hold you."
"That's the real reason I called Julian. Something momentous happened to me today, and you were the first person I wanted to share that information. I'm in way over my head with you and I don't want to be the only one in the relationship feeling that way."
Julian couldn't describe the level of satisfaction her words gave him. "Let yourself go Clarissa and trust that I'm there to catch you."
"I trust you Julian. I trust you with my heart."
"Your heart is safe with me Clarissa."
***
Later that evening Clarissa joined her parents and brother at the packed Amway Arena for a Patti Labelle concert. She is between her father and her brother; they were on the third row, front and center. It has been years since she's taken the time to relax and enjoy a concert. The opening act, a local group certainly revved up the audience.
When Patti Labelle walks on stage in a short figure hugging black dress singing Lady Marmalade the crowd jumped to its feet, including Clarissa. For the duration of the three hour concert and Patti's numerous costume changes, Clarissa spends most of her time on her feet dancing and singing. The show ended with Patti singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow.
They didn't make it back to her parents' home until late that evening. Clarissa's parents immediately went to bed, and Junior joined Clarissa in the kitchen for a late night snack of grilled cheese sandwiches. They were sitting for hours at the kitchen table playing catch up.
"So how's Chicago treating you?"
"Great! I can see myself living there permanently."
"Wow! I didn't think you could hack it in Chicago, but you've proven repeatedly that you can handle any situation. Do you have any regrets about canceling you wedding to Lawrence?"
Clarissa could tell by the look in Junior's eyes that he's beating around the bush. "I would never marry a cheater. Frankly, I haven't been thinking much about Lawrence over the last six months other than how much time I wasted on him. What makes y
ou ask?"
Junior avoided her gaze and finished the last bite of his sandwich before chasing it down with the last of his Coke. "I see Lawrence from time to time; his family does business with the firm. I really think losing you may have changed him."
Clarissa sighed with annoyance. "Certainly you're not pleading Lawrence's case. You forget Lawrence cheated on me with numerous women, one of which our sister. I've forgiven him, but he doesn't deserve my attention."
"Sis I don't mean any harm, the way you canceled the wedding so fast makes me wonder how much you loved him in the first place."
"So you're saying that if I really loved him, I should have married him anyway?"
"No, Sis I'm just saying if you really loved Lawrence it wouldn't have been so easy to cancel the wedding."
Junior's right; she canceled the wedding with swift precision and without regrets. "My heart isn't broken Junior. Lawrence didn't have the power to break my heart, but I genuinely cared for him. I knew that Lawrence could never be the love of my life, but how many people outside of Daddy and Mother actually marry the love of their lives."
Junior's mood turned melancholy. "I think Cynda may have found someone else."
More than shocked, it takes Clarissa a moment to digest Junior's comment. Junior and Cynda have been together since high school. "I don't think Cynda's the cheating type."
Junior snorted, "I bet you thought the same thing about Lawrence."
Usually Junior is the most reasonable person, but right now, he's acting like a complete an utter ass. "Tell me why you think she's cheating on you."
He rubbed his hands down his face in weariness. "We live in the same house Rissa, and I barely see her anymore. I call her at work leaving messages, and she doesn't return my calls right away."
She shakes her head in disbelief; Cynda is the sweetest person she knows. Clarissa didn't believe for one moment that she's cheating on Junior. She's always put Raymond first, to the point where he acts like a petulant child when things don't go his way. Sometimes he could be insensitive when it comes to Cynda. "Cynda's working full time and she's studying for the bar examine?"
Junior frowned at Clarissa, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Are you deliberately being obtuse? Remember when you studied for the bar examine last year. You were damn near impossible to be around, and I remember Cynda making excuses for your awful behavior, making sure you were fed, and as I recall she did all the cooking and cleaning. What are you doing to make things easier for her around the house?" He gives her a stupefied look as if he never considered that Cynda might be overwhelmed with her job, studying for the bar, and still trying to take care of him.
"Well Damn!"
"What?"
Junior gets out of his chair, grabs his keys off the table, and gives Clarissa a hug. "I must be the biggest jerk on the planet. It's a wonder Cynda hasn't kicked my teeth down my throat by now. I've have to repair the damage to my relationship before I find myself sleeping on the curb."
Clarissa followed him to the door. "You can start by kissing her feet." Clarissa locked the door and headed up to bed. Too wired to sleep, she pulled out her laptop and loaded up Lacey Hamilton's virtual diary.
She loses all track of time as she reads about Lacey's position with the EPA, her concerns about the accuracy of one of her testers, and the new man in her life named Michael. Lacey is an intelligent woman who finds love late in life, well later than the other women in her family. Evidently, her fiancé Michael, a younger man becomes more interested in her work at the EPA than sex.
"That's the first clue Lacey. When a man's more interested in talking about nothing, instead of having sex, something is wrong."
After hours of reading about Lacey's fledging engagement, she comes across an interesting passage. It seems as though "GN" is the lead tester of the CEMS. Lacey thought DN might be falsifying test results for several companies in Chillicothe Missouri. Then the notes turn into code. Clarissa studied the code; from what she could garner, the codes were actually list of elements: HgS, HgO, FeAsS, OsO4, Sb2O3. She recognized symbol for Mercury, but she didn't recognize the codes for the other elements.
The first thing Clarissa did is look up CEMS. The EPA uses the CEMS, or Continuous Emission Monitoring Systems to gauge exhaust levels. She looked up the other element symbols. "Oh my god! Mercuric Sulfide, Mercuric Oxide Arsenic, Antimony, and Osmium. All of them were poisonous and in large amounts lethal. She typed up a quick email and sent it to Harland. She may not know whom the lab assistant is, but the EPA should be able to narrow it down based on the initials and the tests that have taken place in Chillicothe, MO.
Clarissa's total concentration is so focused on Lacey's diary that she didn't hear her mother enter the room. The light tap on her shoulder almost makes her heart leap out of her chest. "Mother! Oh my god you scared me to death. Is something wrong?"
Henrietta couldn't control the laughter that bubbled deep inside her. The look on Clarissa's face is priceless. "Are going to church with us?"
Clarissa couldn't understand why her mother is asking about church in the middle of the night. "Well I plan to go to church."
"Do you want me to make you some breakfast before we go? Your father has his heart set on waffles and bacon. I don't know why he wants to eat all that pork when we're having ham for dinner."
Clarissa still couldn't understand why her mother keeps rambling on about breakfast until she sees the time on her computer screen. Oh my goodness it was six-thirty in the morning; she's has been reading Lacey's diary all through the night. "Waffles sound good Mother. Do you want my help?"
Henrietta crossed arms and smiled at Clarissa. "You've been up working all night on something. You used to do that as a child. Sweetie your head would get caught in some book and you wouldn't stop until you finished."
Clarissa smiled back at her mother, "I guess some things just don't change. Are we going to the eight o'clock service?"
"If you'd rather take a little nap we can go to the later service."
"Oh no! If I make Daddy miss the early morning service, he would never let me forget." Her mother turns to leave, but Clarissa didn't want their moment as mother and daughter to end. "Do you still want me to make the macaroni and cheese for dinner?"
Henrietta turned to face Clarissa once again, "I sure do baby cakes, and I expect you to make the sweet potatoes too. Now hurry up and take your shower, I'll have your breakfast ready for you when you come down."
"Thanks Mother! Happy Easter!"
"Happy Easter baby! It's good to have you home."
Clarissa stared at the door her mother just passed through. Aunt Helen is right discussing the past with her mother has given her a sense of peace. Coming home didn't feel like a necessary chore, but a slice of heaven. The next time she comes home for a visit she would bring Julian and Micah. She has to shower and pull her head out of her work. She often admitted to herself that she could become so focused on a project that the important things in life fall by the wayside. She would solve the mystery leading up to Lacey's death, but for right now, she has to focus on her family.
***
Chapter 14
A visit to Orlando isn't complete without stopping by PioPio. Before Clarissa moved to Chicago, she and Alison would eat at PioPio every Wednesday for lunch. She turned onto International Drive thinking about Chaufa Rice and Mango Cheesecake on her mind. PioPio is always busy, so she wanted to get the drop on the lunch crowd by arriving early.
Clarissa finds a parking space at the edge of the lot. She is right in thinking that PioPio would be filled to capacity. That didn't matter she would wait in line, speak with the hostess, and snag the next available seat. She stands in line a few minutes before Alison comes and grabs her arm. They squealed and hugged each other, oblivious to the stares from fellow diners
Clarissa followed Alison to the back of the restaurant. "I'm so happy to see you. How long have you been here?"
Alison hugged Clarissa ag
ain before sitting down in the booth. "I've been here about twenty minutes. Don't worry about looking at the menu I already ordered for you."
Clarissa gave Alison a look of uncertainty. "Really."
Alison sticks out her lips, frowning at Clarissa. "Of course, how hard could it be, you order the same thing every time you come here. Who can forget Chaufa Rice and Mango Cheesecake?"
"Well, since you have given the order correctly, I guess I forgive you for ordering without me."
After they settled down and their drinks arrived, Alison pushed for an update on Clarissa's visit. "How long are you staying in Orlando?"
"Actually, I leave tomorrow, but you know I couldn't leave without seeing you."
"Easter's a busy holiday for the family. I'm glad you could make time for lunch." Alison couldn't resist asking about Clarissa's mother and sister. "So, how is everything on the home front? Are the females in your family behaving themselves?"
"Things on the home front are good. For the first time in my life, I've have peace of sorts with Mother and Roberta."
Alison still not convinced rolled her eyes. Cancer or not, Alison still thinks Roberta needs a beat down. "I guess that's good news," she says without much conviction.
Clarissa understands Alison's doubt. She has witnessed years of Clarissa's humiliation triggered by either Roberta or her mother. Clarissa gently patted Alison's hand, "I'm satisfied, and I don't want to revisit the past any longer."
Alison gives Clarissa's hand a gentle squeeze. "Rissa I hope these congenial feelings last, I really do."
"Now that all of the family secrets are out in the open, everybody can breathe a sigh of relief. Roberta is in remission, which is the best news I've received all year. This time I think she's going to turn her life around. That's not all; I visited my grandparents on Saturday."
Alison nearly chokes on her water. "You mean James Wilson's parents!"
"Yes! Ali, there were pictures of me all over the house. My grandmother prayed for years that I would come to their home. I'm so glad I did. I stayed the whole afternoon learning about the other side of my family.
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