Fighting Fate

by Hope, Amity

  Maybe a burger…

  No, she told herself. Simply going out for a burger wouldn’t stay simple. Nothing is ever simple with him. And yet…

  She felt the heat of his presence melting down her defenses. Would that be so bad? Would it? She decided it would. The last thing she needed right now was complicated. And saying yes to him had the potential to become complicated.

  Besides, she wasn’t ready to date again. Not yet.

  Or at least, she didn’t think she was.

  The thought had not crossed her mind. Not until this very moment.

  “Coffee?” he tried. “Just coffee?”

  “Cole…” She gave him a little shake of her head. Her heart had taken off in a spastic, panicked beat. She realized this time it wasn’t caused by Cole’s nearness. It was caused by the thought of dating again.

  Hurt flashed across his features. For just a moment, she felt bad. Then she reminded herself that she hadn’t done anything wrong. His gaze flicked away from her. He tensed and she thought maybe he was preparing to leave.

  Instead, he took a deep breath before turning around to face her again.

  He reached for her hand. Her instinct was to yank it from his grip. She didn’t and the foreign feeling of his large hand around hers suddenly turned into one of familiarity.

  “I need to tell you that I’m sorry,” he began “I should have said that, first thing, when I saw you. But I didn’t. So I’m telling you now. I’d like to give you a proper apology. Not just an abbreviated one. Maybe someday I’ll be able to explain things in a way that will make you understand.”

  Sarah could feel his gaze on her, almost as though it were a physical thing.

  “If I could take back all of the bad stuff, I would. I would in a heartbeat.”

  As she listened to him, she instinctively knew he meant what he said. She just wasn’t sure that it was enough.

  “Isn’t there something in your life that you regret?” he quietly asked. “Something you wish you could undo? I bet there is. Because anyone who says they have no regrets, they’re either damn lucky, or they’re a damn liar. My bet? They’re a damn liar.”

  “Of course I have regrets Cole. Ones you can’t even begin to imagine.” She suddenly felt herself softening toward him. What he’d done, it had been hurtful. But the mistake she’d made? It had been fatal. She certainly couldn’t let herself think about that right now.

  She let out a little sigh of exasperation. “What is it that you want to get out of this? I mean, I don’t understand what you want from me. Do you want me to forgive you? Understand you? Be your friend? What?”

  He was quiet for a moment, clearly debating how to answer. Finally he said, “I’m just going to lay it all out there. I want you to fall in love with me again, Sarah. I want to pick up where we left off.”

  She shook her head slowly. She had been right. He was going for complicated. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. We’re not those people anymore. What we had? It was a long time ago. It was just a teenage crush. And it’s over.”

  “Do you really believe that?” he asked. “That what we felt was nothing but a crush? Because I don’t. Not for a second. And if you say you do, I won’t believe you because I know that’s a lie.”

  She opened her mouth to protest but he leaned in closer still. Suddenly, she felt like she was sixteen and talking to him for the first time. She couldn’t think of anything to say.

  “Come on, Sarah. It was a long time ago. I was young and stupid. You can’t forgive me for that? I don’t blame you for holding a grudge but can we try u w can weto move past it?”

  A grudge? Did he really think it was that simple? She pulled her hand from his. Suddenly, she had a whole lot to say.

  “Did it ever occur to you that it might not have anything to do with holding a grudge? Maybe it has everything to do with the fact that I’m simply not interested.” She threw her head back and squeezed her eyes tightly shut while she emitted a frustrated groan. “Of course that never occurred to you.”

  “Sarah? Sarah Heath?”

  The sound of her name shooting out at her in that shrill voice caused her eyes to fly open again. Cole gave Sarah a questioning look. Then he leaned back out of her way so Sarah could see the woman who had just stopped at their booth.

  The woman’s blond hair was curled and primped to perfection. Her makeup was flawless. Her nails were professionally manicured. Her simple white blouse stretched a bit too tightly over her chest to pass as conservative. Her smile, though it was too big to look real, probably was. Sarah hadn’t known her well but she knew enough to know that she was always…peppy.

  “Annabeth,” Sarah said with a small smile. She struggled to conjure up some enthusiasm. “How are you?”

  “I’m good!” Annabeth claimed. She used the same amount of enthusiasm that she used to put into leading her cheer squad. “And you? Only…wait! It’s not Sarah Heath now is it?” She unscrupulously tried to scope out Sarah’s left hand, undoubtedly wanting to compare the phantom ring to her own sparkly rock. The one she was flaunting.

  Sarah curled her hand into a fist and tucked it into her lap. This could not be happening. Not here. Not now. Not with Cole, of all people, right by her side.

  “I’ve been living in Connecticut,” Annabeth continued to prattle. “I just came home for a visit with my folks. But last I heard…oh when was that?” she muttered and then shook her head as if that detail didn’t matter. “Last I heard you were getting married.” She cringed and a heavy pause filled the air. Her voice dropped several notches. “Wait…your fiancé died, didn’t he? Oh my goodness! I remember now! In some horrible crash?”

  Her voice had become shrill as she said the last part. Sarah felt the words grating down her spine.

  Even though she wasn’t looking at him, it was impossible to miss that Cole’s attention was immediately on her. She felt her body stiffen as the blood rushed from her face.

  “Or am I thinking oh nI thinkf someone else?” Annabeth asked with a nervous giggle. She looked from Sarah to Cole and then back again, coming to her own conclusion. “It was someone else, right? Because…?” She left her question open-ended as her finger swung in the air between them, as if connecting them with an invisible line. “I’ve been away for so long. And there are so many old classmates to keep track of! After a while everyone blends together. But you two!?” She turned to Cole and grinned, looking relieved that she was able to slide together her own mental puzzle pieces, no matter how incorrect they were. “Just look at the two of you! You know, you were the oddest couple,” she unabashedly admitted. “I can’t believe that you two are still together! Good for you!”

  “Dear Lord,” Gretchen said from beside her. “I think you should stop talking.”

  Annabeth frowned as she looked her way.

  “Seriously, move along,” Gretchen said. There was no humor in her voice. She darted a concerned look at Sarah.

  Annabeth turned back to Cole and Sarah with a questioning look on her face.

  Sarah was working hard to keep her expression carefully blank.

  Cole was ignoring Annabeth completely. His gaze was set on Sarah.

  “Well then,” Annabeth said in a voice that had dropped to a frigid degree. “I guess I’ll go find my husband.”

  “You do that,” Gretchen said.

  The moment she was gone, Sarah gave Cole a nudge.

  “Let me out.”

  “Sarah…?”

  She refused to look at him. Her eyes were prickling and her breaths were coming a little too quickly. She needed fresh air. She needed to get out of the crowded bar. But mostly, she just needed to get away from Cole and the look of confusion and concern that he wore on his face.

  “Just let me out. Let me out right now.”

  Her voice was quivering. Even though she was sitting she could tell that her whole body was shaking.

  Without further question, Cole complied. He slid out of the booth so that she could get out of
her seat. He tried to take hold of her elbow, to guide her out. She yanked herself out of his grip as she stumbled past him.

  “I have your daiquiris,” the flustered waitress said.

  Gretchen pulled a twenty out of her purse and tossed it on the table. “Keep them,” she said before she rushed out to catch her sister.

  *****

  “That didn’t go well,” Cole said as he opened the door to his apartment.

  Gretchen pushed past him. He noticed that she was nearly as tall as him. At least she was with those sparkly contraptions she had strapped onto her feet. Her crazy, curly hair flew out around her. Her cheeks were flushed, causing her freckles to stand out. Her dark eyes glittered with emotion.

  “Is she okay?” he asked as he followed her.

  “As okay as she ever is,” Gretchen said as she made a beeline for his couch. She tossed herself down into the cushions and blew out a frustrated breath. “I took her home. I wanted to stay with her. She made me leave.”

  He wanted to say, Just make yourself at home, why don’t you. He didn’t dare because he didn’t want to get on the bad side of his ally.

  Much earlier in the evening, he’d stopped by the bakery. He’d picked out a dozen doughnuts and then he’d asked Gretchen about Sarah. Maybe it had been a risky move. But he thought he’d seen something in Gretchen’s expression during that first meeting that had been welcoming. To his surprise, she’d been more than happy to chat about her sister.

  In fact, it was Gretchen that suggested he go to Lucky’s Tavern. She promised to make sure that Sarah would be there.

  With Gretchen on his side, he’d felt so sure that he’d make some progress with Sarah tonight. Gretchen had been too busy to chat long. But they’d exchanged phone numbers in case anything came up. After the debacle at the bar, Gretchen had called him to ask if she could come over.

  And now here she was and he wanted some answers.

  “You could have told me her fiancé died!” He dropped himself into the chair across from her. “I didn’t know she was ever engaged.”

  “I thought she should be the one to tell you,” Gretchen quietly said.

  “When did it happen?”

  “A little over a year and a half ago.”

  “How? I mean what happened? Will you at least tell me that?”

  Gretchen looked hesitant. “It was a car accident. But it was…more complicated than that.”

  “How so?”

  She shook her head. “She needs to be the one to tell you the rest.”

  He slumped back into the chair. “I’m kind of getting the feeling thth e feeliat might not happen.”

  Gretchen’s head snapped up. “Are you giving up on her already?”

  “I didn’t say that. I just didn’t realize how complicated this might be. I thought she didn’t want anything to do with me because of me. I didn’t realize it might have something to do with someone else.” His heart twisted with the realization that it likely had to do with both. Meaning what? It might be twice as hard to win her over.

  “She’ll come around.”

  “After what happened tonight, you’re here to play matchmaker?” he asked in disbelief.

  “Yes.” She gave him a little nod that caused her massive halo of curls to bounce. “I love my sister. And more than anything, I want her to be happy. Right now? She’s not happy. But I think you can change that.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know…” The entire drive home, he couldn’t get the look on Sarah’s face out of his head. How pale her complexion had become. The way her lips had begun to tremble. The tears that had begun to collect on her lower lid but hadn’t quite fallen yet. When he’d briefly touched her, her body had been shaking. He’d wanted nothing more in that moment than to put his arms around her. He hadn’t dared because he wasn’t stupid. She wouldn’t have appreciated it one bit. Not then anyway.

  “You told me earlier that you wanted her back. Please don’t give up on her already,” Gretchen pleaded. “Please try.”

  “I did try.”

  “You bought her a drink,” Gretchen said indignantly. “That’s not trying. That’s…being unimaginative and lazy.”

  “Yeah, well, lazy or not, she sent it back.”

  “So try harder.”

  “I just don’t know if I should. It sounds like she’s had enough shit to deal with. She was really upset tonight. I don’t want to make things worse.” He tapped his foot against the floor restlessly. What he’d learned hadn’t changed how he felt about her. But now concern had woven its way into the mix as well. “Are you sure she was okay when you left her?”

  “I would’ve parked myself on her couch if I thought she wasn’t. See, that’s the thing with Sarah. Crap that she doesn’t deserve keeps happening to her.” Cole didn’t miss the pointed look Gretchen gave him. “And she just keeps pushing her way through it. I just want something good to happen to her for a change.”

  She was still looking at him in that pointed way.

  “Me?” he asked skeptically. He was supposed to be the good thing that happened to her?

  “Of cant"+0">ourse you. Why do you think I’m here? Trust me, she has feelings for you.”

  “She’s made it perfectly clear that she’s not interested.”

  “Of course she’s interested.”

  “She told you that? Because I find that real hard to believe.”

  “Of course not,” Gretchen scoffed. “She’s not going to admit it. She has to have some pride after what you did.”

  Cole contemplated that as he raked a hand through his hair.

  “Do you still love her?” Gretchen asked.

  It seemed to Cole that Gretchen had no reservations about crossing personal boundaries. At the moment, this girl seemed to want what he wanted. So he let her cross lines. If it was going to help him out in the end, he really didn’t care.

  “Yeah,” he said. He looked at Gretchen and nodded. “I think I do. And I want her back.”

  He was relieved when Gretchen smiled.

  “Make her see that. But first, you have some crap to make up for. So do it. Make it up to her.”

  “How?”

  “Well,” Gretchen said.

  Cole could tell by the look on her face that she was preparing to throw together some kind of scheme.

  He thought better of that.

  “You know what? Never mind. I don’t want Sarah to feel manipulated. I’ll do this on my own,” he decided. “It would probably be best if you stayed out of it from here on out.”

  “You’re sure about that?”

  He nodded, deciding right then that if he was going to win Sarah back he was going to do it because he deserved her. Not because he had played her in any way. “Yeah. I have no idea how to win her over but I do think it’s best if I do this on my own.”

  She shrugged as she hoisted herself to her feet. She crossed the room so she could pat his knee. “You’re a big boy. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

  /p>

  Chapter Eight

  The past…

  “I’m so disappointed in you,” Cole said as he leaned against her locker.

  “It’s not my fault,” Sarah said. She pulled the quiz out of Cole’s hand, folded it in half and tossed it into her backpack. “That class is just so boring.”

  He pushed a pained look onto his face. “What? How could you say that? History is fascinating.”

  She stared at him, waiting for the moment he would shake his head and let her know he was joking. That moment didn’t come. “You like history?”

  He shrugged, trying to backtrack and reign in some of his enthusiasm. “Yeah. I guess. I mean, as far as classes go. I’m in chemistry and trig right now. They’re both hard as hell. With history? All you have to do is memorize facts. It’s kind of like remembering the plot of a good book.”

  She gave him her best skeptical look. “You read?”

  “Well, no, not if I can help it,” he said. “But that’s not help
ing the point I’m trying to make.”

  “What is your point?” she asked. b>And why are you at my locker? Again? she silently wondered. She wouldn’t ask him that. She wouldn’t want him to take it the wrong way. Because what if she said it and he didn’t come back? For a reason she wasn’t quite ready to admit to herself, she didn’t like that thought at all. She also didn’t like how he had a knack for finding her right before lunch, which meant right after American History. And that typically meant she had a paper, or a test or study guide marked up in red in her hand. Why he never bothered to find her after English, algebra or biology—where she always got straight A-s—was a fact that annoyed her.

  “My point is that it’s not usually the facts that are interesting.” He grinned at her. “It’s the facts behind the facts.”

  She shook her head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “It’s not just the things they teach you in class. If you take them at face value, it’s usually interesting enough. But the real story is in the details. The little things that most teachers don’t think are worth repeating because we’re not asked about them in standardized testing. I mean, did you know that some people believe that Roosevelt knew ahead of time that Pearl Harbor was going to be attacked? They think he let it happen so that America would have a reason to join the war. Ever heard of Unsinkable Sam?”

  “Um, no?” she said, surprised by the gleam in his eye.

  “He was a cat.”

  “Oh?”

  “He was onboard three ships that were sunk. He survived all three times. That’s how he got his name. Unsinkable Sam.”

  “Okay,” Sarah said with a little laugh.

  “And Roald Dahl?”

  “The children’s author? The one who wrote James and the Giant Peach?”

  “Yeah. Did you know he was a fighter pilot in the Royal Air Force?”

  “I did not know that,” she said quite seriously. Cole’s enthusiasm over that historical snippet was kind of adorable.