Julian & Lia

by Maria Monroe

  "Oh god, Julian," I whisper, unable to keep the words from escaping my mouth.

  And then he stops. Just as I was about to climax. He moves away from me, and I try to grasp his hair, try to bring him back, but instead he moves up and kisses me. I can taste my wetness on his lips, and my body strains upwards so I can grind myself against him through his jeans. His erection is huge and so hard that it almost hurts, but I can't get enough. I need more.

  I train my eyes on his, seeing the desire in them, so deep and green, as I slowly move my hands to his fly. Will he stop me? But he doesn't, and I undo the button and unzip his jeans, then push them down as much as I can. He finishes the job, taking them off. When he removes his underwear and kneels above me again, I just stare at his cock. He's seriously huge, not that I have any source of comparison. When I touch the tip, the drop of cum delights me, and I move my finger around in it, then trace a line of it down his shaft. He's staring at me, his eyes darker than ever, his breathing coming quick. Grabbing his dick with my hand elicits a groan from him, and when I move my hand up and down he grins a sinister smile.

  "Lia," he whispers, "I have been waiting for this, for being naked with you, since the moment I laid eyes on you."

  "Me too."

  Julian moves back and kneels between my legs again. I'm still so wet, my pussy throbbing for him, and he fingers me gently.

  "I'm ready for you, Julian. I'm ready," I whisper.

  He grabs the box of condoms I gave him, rips it open and takes one out. It's like he can't open it fast enough, like waiting the few seconds it takes to open it is killing him. Finally he frees the condom, and I watch while he unrolls it slowly down his length, stretching it to fit over his huge cock. When it's on he just stares at me for a few seconds, a muscle in his cheek pulsing once.

  He moves on top of me, kissing me gently, then muttering into my mouth, "It's going to hurt, baby. I'm sorry. I'll go slow."

  "I don't mind if it hurts."

  "Just this time or in general?" There's a grin on his face, but his question is serious, I can tell, and my pussy clenches hard. The very question turns me on. "I'm sorry," he says. "We have plenty of time to talk about . . . other things."

  He runs a hand down my side, caresses my ass, then squeezes it.

  "Open your legs for me, Lia."

  I do, and his fingers trail over my pussy lightly, causing a shiver deep down inside of me.

  "A little more, baby," he whispers, and I spread them wider, feeling the cold air from the room on my bare and wet tenderness.

  My heart pounds as he positions himself on top of me, kissing me softly on the lips, one hand in my hair, holding me in a caress, the other between my legs. I feel the tip of his penis right there, and I breathe in quickly.

  "You OK?"

  "Yes."

  "I'm going to put it in a little, OK?"

  "OK," I whisper, putting both arms around his, feeling his hard muscled back as he pushes, gently, parting my pussy with his huge cock. "Oh." The sound escapes on a breath, the stretching of my opening such an unfamiliar feeling.

  "A little more, Lia," whispers Julian, pushing in further. He stops, letting me get used to the feeling of the first inch or so of him inside me. Nothing I imagined even came close to how this really feels, Julian on top of me, his huge dick slowly working its way into my core.

  "Are you ready for the rest of me?" His voice is hoarse, and I can tell he's fighting hard to hold back. It's driving him crazy to be moving so slow.

  "Yes."

  His hips move forward, and suddenly I scream out in pain as his entire cock fills me up. Julian stays still then, staring into my eyes as I try to hold back tears. Slowly the pain recedes, until all I feel is my pussy pulsing around his huge dick.

  "Did that hurt?"

  "Yes," I whisper.

  "Are you OK?"

  I nod.

  "I'm going to go slow, OK? But if it hurts too much, tell me and we can stop."

  But I don't want to stop. Ever. Even if it hurts.

  Slowly he pulls out of me until his dick is almost all the way removed, then waits a few seconds before pushing into me again. Being filled a second time hurts less than the first time, and I breathe out as I realize that the pain isn't going to be unbearable. I can handle this.

  Julian continues to move in and out, bending now to kiss me as he continues. His mouth is rough and needy, and I know this is turning him on so much, know that he's holding back because he doesn't want to hurt me. I moan when he touches my clit, still fucking me gently, his fingers expertly moving over me until I'm writhing on the bed, until my hips force him into and out of me more quickly. There's pain, yes, but the pleasure is greater, and I can't hold back, grinding against him so he fills me harder and further while his fingers continue their ministrations.

  "Julian," I whisper, then "Julian" again, more urgently.

  "Come for me, baby." He's staring into my eyes, his lips so full, his jaw clenched.

  "Oh god, Julian," I groan as the passion fills me slowly, then quicker and quicker, until I come in a long and hard spasm, my entire body tensing unbearably then letting go as the feeling takes over and I scream out his name once more. "Julian."

  He's smiling through his tension, and I know he's close too.

  "Julian," I whisper, my body still spasming, my pussy repeatedly clenching around his cock, "that was amazing. You can fuck me harder, you know."

  I was right to think those words would turn him on, because a hiss sounds from his teeth, and he does move harder now, though still holding back. I watch his face as his eyes close, as his breathing gets faster and faster, as he finally utters my name. "Lia. God. Oh my god." Then he comes too, moving in and out twice more, slowly, and I can feel his hot cum inside the condom when he does. "God," he says again, pulling out and falling down beside me.

  His arms grasp me to him and he holds me close, both of us catching our breath.

  It seems to take forever, an infinity of relaxation and warmth in Julian's strong arms, but finally I can speak. "Julian, I knew it would be good, but I never imagined it would be that good."

  He rumbles out a laugh, clutches me to him harder. "Baby? Just wait till I fuck you for real."

  "That was for real!"

  "I know it was." His lips land kisses on the back of my neck, and I can feel him growing hard against my ass again. Already. "There are just so many things I'm going to show you." He presses his erection against me, and I grind back against him. But he holds me hard to stop my movement.

  "What's wrong?"

  "It's too soon."

  "What are you talking about? I can feel how ready you are."

  "For you, Lia, not me," he laughs. "You're going to be sore. I don't want you to hurt."

  "I'm fine," I say, but when I finally get up to go to the bathroom, I feel rough between my legs, and when I look down in the harsh bathroom light, I see blood on the inside of my thighs. Oh god. Julian's bed! I feel embarrassed that I must have messed it up, and I clean myself up as well as I can before heading back to his room.

  He's changed the sheets and heated up our drinks again, and he enfolds me in a hug. Tears threaten to fall, but not out of sadness. It's actually the opposite. I don't remember ever feeling his happy before.

  "Sit down," says Julian softly, and I sit on the bed, on top of a towel he's smoothed across the sheet. "Are you all right?" His eyes look worried.

  "Yeah. I'm sorry about your bed."

  "I couldn’t care less about the bed. Here." He hands me a wrapped package.

  "For me?"

  He looks at me with a "duh" expression on his face. Of course it's for me. There's nobody else here. "Open it."

  I do, slowly, trying to hold onto the anticipation as long as I can. When I finally pull the package open, I'm holding his hoodie. "What . . .?" I look at him in confusion.

  "It's actually a loaner, not a real present," he says with a grin. "So technically I guess it was shitty of me to wrap it up like i
t's something you can keep."

  "Loaner?" But I'm already holding it tightly to my chest.

  "So you can wear it over Christmas break. And think of me."

  "You know you that sounds totally arrogant, right?"

  He grins and shrugs. "You don't have to take it."

  I shake my head. "No way. Too late." I put my arms into the sleeves and pull it around me.

  He sits on the bed and kisses me softly on the lips, one hand in my hair, the other resting gently on my side. "You look so cute in it. And I'm going to miss you, Lia. I have a feeling you'll miss me too. So when you do, you'll have my most treasured possession to keep you warm."

  This is so totally sweet. I don’t even care that my giant smile is giving away how much it means to me. I don’t want to hold back right now. "Thank you."

  "One condition, though."

  I raise an eyebrow at him.

  "You have to send me photos of you wearing it."

  "Like, what kind of pictures?"

  "You know. You. Wearing the hoodie. With nothing under it. And it's unzipped."

  "Julian! I can't do that."

  "It's homework," he says firmly, but he's smiling.

  I feel like I'd do anything he asks me to. So when he kisses me harder and lowers me back onto the bed, I breathe in his warmth, close my eyes, and circle him with my arms.

  Chapter Ten

  Spring comes late to Maine, but I don't care about the weather, even when March seems to drag out winter forever. I can't remember a time in my life when I was happier. My new-found confidence thrills me, and I don't even bat an eye when I walk in on the shaving couple again, or when a guy strolls naked out of the shower and down the hall. The first semester version of me would have run scared back to my room. But now I can handle it.

  I get an invite from Iggy and some other guys in the dorm to attend a planning meeting for the second semester revenge plot against the R.A. I don’t go, but only because I’m busy that night. “You sure you can’t make it?” Iggy asks me when I run into him outside our dorm.

  “I’m sure. But thanks for asking. I’ll come next time,” I tell him.

  “You better,” he says with a lopsided grin. “And let me know when you break up with that guy you’re with.” He winks, a friendly joking expression, and I laugh as he walks away.

  Second semester I sign up for Feature Writing and Online Journalism classes, and it feels amazing to know that I've finally figured out a major that excites me. It helps that Julian's been through these classes already, and he's more than willing to give me advice for my projects, which include writing actual articles. I quickly learn that he’s highly respected amongst the journalism faculty. In late March he invites me to attend an awards ceremony for the graduating class of journalism majors.

  I need a dress, and Greer steps up with a selection of dresses bought for pledge events. I try them all on, finally settling on a burgundy dress with spaghetti straps. It's tight on top with a slightly flouncy skirt that reaches my knees. Small sparkles adorn the low-cut cleavage and the outer filmy layer of the skirt. It goes perfectly with a pair of heels she also lends me, and she takes the time to straighten my hair glossy and smooth like she did for that first party we went to, the one that seems, now, to have occurred ages ago.

  "I'm glad you're, like, finally admitting that you're going out with Julian," she says, and adds "Lucky" under her breath.

  "We weren't for a long time, Greer." There's no way I can explain the lessons to her, the way things started between us as short sessions of sexual "classes" stolen between actual classes when Vanessa was out.

  "He is so, so hot."

  "I know!" My voice is excited like a school girl, but I don't care.

  Greer gives me a sharp smile. "So, like, are things serious?"

  "I guess. I mean, yeah. I don't have much experience. He's actually my first boyfriend."

  "Your what? Wait. How did I not know this about my own roommate? Holy crap, Lia. This is horrible."

  I laugh out loud at her distress; Greer likes to overreact to things. "It's not horrible," I say. "It's pretty awesome." I'm finally starting to admit that, and to accept it, and to not wait for the other shoe to drop. I'm happy, and I'm not going to make excuses for it.

  "Oh Lia," moans Greer in fake pain, putting the back of her hand to her forehead and falling onto her bed like it's a fainting couch.

  "What?" For once, her hysterics aren't getting to me. I smile at myself in the mirror, happy with the way I look.

  "Lia, seriously?" Greer sits up and pulls a strand of her long blond hair in front of her shoulder, smoothing it over and over again with her fingers. "See? Everybody gets their heart broken by their first love. It's, like, a rule or something?"

  "Nobody's getting their heart broken, Greer. We're just going out. We're having fun. I'm not planning to break his heart, and I don't think he's planning to break mine either."

  "But it's, like, what's that word? That it's going to happen no matter what? Inevitable, Lia. It's inevitable."

  "Whatever." I roll my eyes at her in the mirror, but cold doubt starts spinning an icy web inside me. I've had these same thoughts before, haven't I

  "This isn't, like, the 1950s or whatever. When people married their high school sweethearts? I mean, you know that right?"

  "I know that," I sigh.

  "Just, you know, I have to make sure you're aware of these things," she says, trying to sound sage.

  "I'm aware, Greer," I mutter. "Oh, and thanks for ruining my night."

  Greer’s eyes widen and her face falls. “Oh, Lia, I’m so sorry! I never meant to do that! I just don’t want you to get hurt.” She touches my arm lightly, then pulls it back, biting her lip.

  Although I'm mad at her I also know she's right, and I'm actually surprisingly flattered that she cares enough to have this conversation, however awful, with me. I guess she's started to care about me, in her own weird and self-centered way. And the truth is I actually care about her now too.

  "It's OK, Greer," I say. "I'm not experienced, but I'm not stupid, OK? I can take care of myself. But I appreciate your advice."

  "Thanks, Lia." She pushes her hair behind her back with a flourish. "So, like, do you need any other kind of advice?" She winks at me, closing one perfectly mascara-ed and outlined eye.

  "No, I'm good." I blush.

  "So have you and Julian . . . "

  "Greer!"

  "What? That's, like, what girls talk about? All the time?"

  "I just don't . . . I can't . . . "

  "I'll take that as a yes," she says with a smirk. "Anyway, you look really freaking hot? So even if you hadn't slept with him yet? He would totally try tonight."

  "Greer, you're awful," I laugh.

  "Have fun," she says, and I leave the room to wait by the front door for Julian to pick me up.

  ***

  The awards ceremony is at a school building at the edge of campus, and because the weather is sloppy with snow, Julian's driving even though normally we'd walk. In the car, I can't stop looking at him, and I can barely speak. Normally I'm comfortable around Julian, but tonight it's like I'm with a complete and total stranger. Instead of jeans and a hoodie, which he practically lives in, Julian has on a black suit. A real, grown-up person suit. The shirt under it is bright white, bringing out his dark hair and his green eyes and, when he smiles, his perfect teeth. A tie. He's wearing a tie, some sort of paisley design in silvery gray, and his hair is still a little long, but he's done something with it to make it look professional rather than simply messy. Handsome. That's how he looks, rather than hot, as I usually think of him. This look is different and sexy, for sure, but something about it makes me unbearably uncertain.

  "Are you looking forward to the ceremony?" I finally ask, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable tension I'm feeling. He hasn't talked much about it, and I'm curious if he considers it something fun or more of an obligation. He mentioned that there's an award he's up for, that it's bet
ween him and another student. I've gleaned it's a rather important award, but I seem more excited about it than he does. Or maybe he's just playing it cool.

  He takes his eyes off the road for a second to glance down at me, the intensity of his eyes making me blush. "What I'm looking forward to tonight is getting you alone later. You look amazing in that dress, but I'd rather see you without it."

  "Julian!" I gasp.

  "What?" he asks, feigning innocence. "Trust me when I tell you I'll be thinking about exactly that all night long."

  He reaches over and slips his hand under the silky skirt of the dress, sliding it up higher until I breathe in audibly.

  "What are you doing?" I whisper into the dark car.

  "Isn't it obvious?" His hand slides higher, insistent, pushing my legs apart so that he can feel my silky underwear. "Why Lia, you're already getting wet."

  "I can't help it," I whisper. "You make me feel that way."

  He pulls the car into a space in front of the building, keeping his hand between my legs. I can see other people entering the building, can even hear their muted voices through the closed car doors. Julian slips his finger into my panties, then inside me, and a strangled moan issues from my throat. He pulls his finger out, then puts it to my mouth, and I suck my taste off of him.

  "Later," he whispers, leaning over quickly to kiss me.

  "You're going to ruin my lipstick," I protest, but give in to him anyway. If he asked, I probably would do it right here in the car, to hell with what people would think. OK, so I'd make him park on a more deserted street, but still. Instead, though, we straighten our clothes, smile at each other, and exit the car. He takes my arm, and we walk into the auditorium like a real couple.

  ***

  There's a dinner before the awards part of the evening. Julian and I are seated at a round table with some of the other graduating journalism majors. I recognize a few of the other students from around campus, but the only person I've actually spoken to is Pete, and I can tell he's still wary of Julian. Who wouldn't be after the severe warning Julian gave him? I hope now that Julian and I are officially a couple, Julian will be more relaxed about me talking to Pete.