Lockdown

by Traci Hunter Abramson

With her hand in his, Tristan settled back into his chair to watch over the woman he loved.

  33

  Tristan tilted his head from one side to the other, trying to ease the stiffness from sleeping in a chair all night. He had dozed off and on throughout the early morning hours, refusing to leave Riley’s side. Nurses and doctors came and went, and Riley continued to grow stronger. Her voice was still scratchy from her time on the ventilator, but her color had improved greatly.

  By late afternoon, Riley’s parents had arrived and insisted that Tristan go home long enough to eat and shower. Reluctantly he agreed, but only after Riley’s father promised that someone would stay by her side.

  As Tristan was leaving the hospital, Chief Jobeson stopped by to give him an update. Apparently Eric Rhodes’s psychologist was making progress with him, especially now that she understood just how the boy had been manipulated. Eric continued to insist that he didn’t know about his parents’ deaths, and with Victor Cross in custody, the prosecutor believed him.

  Now, instead of facing significant jail time, Eric Rhodes would spend the next two months undergoing psychiatric treatment at a nearby mental facility. Assuming all went well, he would then be sentenced to house arrest and released to his maternal grandparents. No one was sure if they could help Eric, but the grandparents were anxious to see if they could pull him out of the pit their daughter had been unwilling or unable to escape from.

  The fact that Eric had chosen not to hurt anyone when given the opportunity made everyone hopeful that, with help, he would eventually overcome the tragedy and someday be able to reenter society.

  Victor Cross, on the other hand, was looking at a long prison sentence. Already the request for bail had been denied, and all indications were that the prosecutor would have little trouble convincing a jury of the former detective’s guilt.

  Tristan pushed open the door to his apartment. He was two steps inside before he saw his mother sitting on his couch. He took a double take, unable to recall the last time he had seen his mother in such an informal setting. Then again, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in a room alone with her. “What are you doing here?”

  “I heard about Riley.” Tristan’s mother stood up, waiting for him to move farther into the living room. “I understand she’s going to be okay.”

  Tristan dragged a hand over his face, still trying to bring reality into focus. “Yeah.” He dropped into a chair and watched his mother reclaim her seat. “How did you get in here?”

  “When you didn’t answer your cell phone, I called your commanding officer. He had the manager let me in.” She crossed her legs as though trying to get comfortable, and then she shifted once more.

  “I still don’t understand why you’re here.”

  “I should have made this visit years ago,” she said with sadness in her voice. “After I saw you at the Lamberts’ party, I realized I couldn’t put it off any longer.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I know I wasn’t a good parent.” She glanced at Tristan. “I should have been there for you when you were growing up, but I chose my career instead.”

  Wearily, Tristan leaned his elbows on his knees. His voice was tired rather than bitter when he spoke. “You aren’t exactly telling me anything I don’t already know.”

  She nodded, and a sheen of tears glistened in her eyes. “What you don’t know is why.”

  Tristan pushed out of his chair and paced to the window before turning back to face his mother. Leaning back against the wall, he summarized his version of the facts. “You wanted to advance in the Navy, and I was the dead weight holding you back. What else is there to say?”

  “When you were first born, I was just starting out in my career. I hadn’t even been before my first promotion board.” A small smile crossed her face as she let the memory wash over her. “I took six months off to stay home with you and negotiated to stay in Norfolk so your dad wouldn’t have to deal with changing jobs while you were little.”

  The tone of her voice and the sadness humming through it were new and unexpected. Surprisingly willing to listen, Tristan moved back to his chair and lowered himself into it.

  “You were only eighteen months old when I was promoted to lieutenant, junior grade. Everything was going great. I was due for a rotation, but the office down the hall wanted me, so it looked like we were going to have another two-year tour in Norfolk. Then I got pregnant.”

  “What?” Tristan’s eyes widened.

  She shrugged one elegant shoulder, sadness filling her eyes. “I was so excited at first. So was your dad. Then, when I was almost six months along, I went into labor. The doctors tried to stop it, but there wasn’t anything they could do. A couple more weeks and your sister might have had a chance, but . . .” She waved a hand helplessly and then let it drop beside her.

  Confused and puzzled, Tristan asked softly, “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  “Tristan, there aren’t words to describe that kind of loss, especially to a two-year-old. I felt like my insides had been torn out and I would never be whole again. By the time you were old enough to understand, I was finally coping.” She let out a sigh. “Your father tried to deal with losing the baby by spending all of his time with you. I tried to hide from the pain by burying myself in work. It didn’t take long before I was offered a great career opportunity, and your dad figured he could just stay home with you instead of finding a new job.”

  “And then dad got tired of being at home with me and just left.”

  “It wasn’t you he got tired of. He got tired of playing second string to my career,” his mother told him. “I kept making these deals with myself after I lost the baby. If I could just get one more promotion, I would be able to spend more time with you. Or if I did just one more unaccompanied tour, then I could choose my duty station. Your dad got tired of waiting for me to put him first.”

  “Then why did he leave me too?”

  “He got a job offer overseas . . .” she started, and then she gave an apologetic shrug. “I’m not sure exactly.”

  “All those years, you hardly saw me,” Tristan said warily. “Even when you had leave, you never came home unless you were moving me from one relative to another.”

  “I was afraid.” Her voice was soft, her emotions raw. “After I lost the baby, you were so attached to your father. It got to the point that you hardly knew me. Then I was afraid to get too attached.” She took a deep breath. “Tristan, I don’t know if there’s any way you can ever forgive me for not being there for you, but I want to be part of your life. I want you to be a part of mine.”

  Tristan’s lips pressed into a hard line. For a moment he said nothing. “I can’t just forget the fact that you ignored me all those years.”

  His mother’s back stiffened, but she remained seated. “I know this may be hard for you to believe, but I am proud of you.” She forced a smile. “I’ve followed your career, read a lot of your project files. I still think you’d make a great officer, but I suppose that’s something you have to decide on your own.”

  “I guess I knew you’d followed my career, especially after I saw you in Arlington. You mentioned my medals, but I was too mad at the time to realize I had never told you about any of them.” Tristan managed a small smile of his own.

  “What do you think? Can you ever forgive me?”

  “Riley keeps telling me that holding a grudge isn’t hurting anyone but me,” Tristan admitted. He forced himself to meet his mother’s stare, and he offered what little he could. “All I can promise is that I’ll try.”

  She nodded. “Riley sounds like a smart woman.”

  “She is.”

  “I’m really glad she’s going to be okay.” His mother stood up. “I guess I should get out of your way.”

  “Mom?”

  “Yes?”

  “Thanks for coming.”

  She nodded. “I don’t suppose it would be possible for me to visit Riley in the hospital before I
go.”

  Tristan considered for a moment before managing to take his first step toward forgiving his mother. “I promised Riley I would bring her some ice cream. I suppose you can come with me.”

  Her smile bloomed. “I’d like that.”

  * * *

  “Tristan, I’m fine,” Riley insisted as he opened the door of his truck for her and then scooped her into his arms.

  “You’re ten minutes out of the hospital,” Tristan reminded her. “The doctor said you need to take it easy for a few more days.”

  She linked her arms around his neck and suppressed a grin. “That doesn’t mean I can’t walk.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “Humor me.”

  Riley smiled. She had spent three days in the hospital, though she still didn’t understand why she had been kept that long. Tristan had been at her side nearly all of those three days despite her assurances that she was well on her way to recovery. Taylor had been a frequent visitor as well, and the rest of the squad had all dropped by at different times to check up on her. Even her parents, grandparents, and various family members had come to town to see her.

  The highlight of her hospital stay had definitely been when Tristan had brought his mother to visit. Riley imagined it would still take some time for them to forge a true friendship, but the tender beginnings were there.

  Still refusing to put her down, Tristan climbed up the stairs to her apartment and shifted her as he unlocked the door.

  “How did you get a key to my apartment?” Riley asked as he turned the knob and used his shoulder to push the door open.

  “It’s your key. Your sister gave it to me after she and Quinn picked up your car from the shooting range.” He carried her inside and kicked the door closed before depositing her on the couch. “Do you want something to drink?”

  “No, I’m fine.” She shifted to stand.

  Tristan waved at her to stay seated. “Just stay there. What do you need?”

  “I was just going to get my laptop. Obviously I haven’t had a chance to check my e-mail for a few days.”

  “I’ll get it.” Tristan disappeared down the hall and returned holding her laptop. “Here you go.”

  “Thanks.” Riley tried to suppress a grin as she turned her computer on.

  “What?”

  “I was just thinking that you’re taking the doctor’s orders a little too seriously.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with being careful,” Tristan insisted as he sat down beside her.

  “Right.” She grinned at him before turning her attention to the computer. The grin stayed in place as she logged on, and then it slowly faded.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I didn’t get the engineering job in Norfolk.” Riley shrugged carelessly, but she couldn’t hide her disappointment.

  “Are you going to take the job in California?” he asked, clearly struggling to keep his voice light.

  “No,” she said as her eyes lifted to his.

  “Are you sure?”

  She let out a little sigh. “Tristan, I know you’re worried that I’m giving up on my career goals to stay closer to you, but I’m not.”

  Tristan blew out a breath and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck as if trying to relieve some tension. “I guess I’m worried that you’ll resent me the same way my dad resented my mom.”

  “We aren’t your parents, and I promise to tell you if I start resenting your career,” Riley told him. “The job in California is what I want to do. It just isn’t where I want to do it. Besides, the contract is only guaranteed for two years. It’s possible I would make the move only to work my way out of a job.” Riley hesitated and reached for Tristan’s hand. “I actually had an idea I wanted to run past you.”

  Tristan shifted beside her, his curiosity heightened. “What?”

  “I was thinking about starting my own business.” Riley’s eyebrows lifted as she spoke. “I want to set up a course for teachers and school administrators similar to what we’re doing here. I figure I can offer the course to the folks in California, but I would hold it in Virginia Beach.”

  Tristan watched her, considering. “You know, you could probably set up some pretty good deals with the hotels during the winter months.”

  Riley nodded in agreement. “So what do you think?” she asked tentatively. “Do you think I can pull it off?”

  Tristan nodded, a smile spreading across his face. “Yeah, I do. Just tell me what I can do to help.”

  She laughed. “You may regret offering.”

  “I doubt that. Anything that will keep you nearby is definitely worth my time.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. His voice grew serious. “I love you, Riley. You’re everything to me.”

  He had said the words before, but never with such intensity. At that moment, any lingering doubts about marriage and their future together melted away. Riley knew Tristan would spend much of his time on assignment and that their plans would always be changing, but somehow she knew that their paths would always bring them back together. She reached up and pressed her lips to his. “I love you. Always.”

  EPILOGUE

  Riley sat in the hotel lobby and skimmed through the latest course evaluations. She lifted a hand to wave as the last of her students departed and another weeklong course came to its conclusion. She turned her attention back to the evaluations, a smile crossing her face as she noted the consistently high marks in participant satisfaction.

  Her first course had been decent, but the feedback from those students and the participants that followed had helped her refine her curriculum and training exercises significantly. Finally, she felt like the product she was offering was truly the best training available to educators.

  Tristan and the rest of the squad had graciously offered their expertise as she shaped many of her scenarios after the courses they had conducted in Bainbridge. When she realized she was going to have to hire someone to help her, she had been shocked when her father had volunteered. At first he wasn’t even going to accept a paycheck, but she had worked through that detail by offering her dad a percentage of the profits.

  The real surprise was how much closer she and her dad had become over the past few months. She smiled at the irony that her father had wanted her to hide from the horror she had experienced, and now he was supporting her as she continued to overcome that dark day.

  Though she had considered moving home until her cash flow was a little steadier, her grandparents had made her an offer she couldn’t refuse. When she had stayed with them for a few weeks in August, they had asked her to house-sit for them through the winter. They had several trips they wanted to take, and having Riley stay at their home alleviated their concerns about taking care of the house and their two dogs.

  Just that morning they had arrived home from visiting Riley’s aunt in Charlottesville for two weeks. She wasn’t sure where they were off to next month, but she expected it would be somewhere warm, probably visiting the Florida side of the family.

  “Hey, little girl.”

  Riley looked up to see her dad standing next to her and smiled. “Hi, Dad.” She held up the stack of evaluations. “It looks like everyone thinks they got their money’s worth.”

  “They’d better.” He reached down and gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I’m going to head on home. You should get out of here. Enjoy your weekend.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “No word from Tristan?” he asked cautiously.

  She shook her head.

  “Let me know if we should set another place for Christmas dinner.”

  “I will. Thanks, Dad.” Riley smiled. “I’ll see you next week.”

  He nodded and gave her shoulder another squeeze before heading for the door.

  Riley watched him go before turning to look out the window. Waves crashed on the deserted beach just a short distance away. A dozen or so seagulls stood in the sand while others swooped in the distance. Riley sighed. Christmas was less than two weeks
away, and she had no idea if Tristan would be home by then.

  This was the third time the Saint Squad had shipped out since she had moved to Virginia Beach. The first time had been just days after she’d arrived. That assignment had only lasted for ten days, and Tristan had been able to e-mail her nearly every day. Then a month later he had disappeared without a word only to show up on her doorstep six weeks later. This time around she had been with him when the call came, but Tristan hadn’t been able to tell her anything except that he was leaving the country.

  The separation had been hard, harder than she had expected, but she was learning to deal with the uncertainty. Tristan was constantly in her prayers, and she still suffered from an occasional panic attack when he was gone. She supposed she would never completely get over the fear that he would leave one day and not come back, but she was learning how to live with it.

  Riley tried to push such serious thoughts aside as she slipped her papers into her briefcase. She slid her coat on and pulled it tight around her before stepping out into the chill. Her grandparents’ house was only ten minutes away, and she pulled up to see their car in the driveway.

  When she climbed out of her car, Riley heard a helicopter flying overhead. Of course, that was nothing new. Since they lived close to the naval airbase, helicopters were always flying overhead. When the noise continued longer than it should have, she turned and looked up. Her eyes widened when she realized that the helicopter was descending into the middle of the cul-de-sac.

  Several neighbors opened their doors to investigate the sound, and Riley lifted her hand to shade her eyes from the lowering sun. She didn’t spot Seth in the pilot’s seat, but she saw the door slide open as the helicopter lowered slowly, causing a whirlwind of dust and debris. Then, there he was. Tristan sat in the doorway, his feet dangling out. He looked every bit the warrior, dressed in camouflage and combat boots.

  The helicopter lowered to within a foot of the ground. Then Tristan stepped out onto the skid rail and hopped nimbly to the ground. He kept his head down as he moved toward her, slowing long enough to give Seth a wave. Then the helicopter ascended once more, heading away as Tristan moved toward her.