Crime Machine jc-5

by Giles Blunt

  Lemur hunched himself up in a corner of the couch, eyes on the flames again. “Well, anyway. There’s no reason why Nikki can’t be producing records or videos ten years from now. Or managing some really cool band. Why not?”

  Jack knelt in front of the fire and poked at it, clattering and bonging in the grate as he spoke. Sparks darted and swirled. “Getting back to your own personal vision quest there, Lemur. I’m interested in this girl you describe. This soulmate business. That sounds about as close to perfect as perfect gets.”

  Sometimes when Jack spoke, it was as if some malign entity-cold, wet, shapeless-entered the room and sat watching. As if he had custody of some alien creature that fed on anger and tears. Jack’s tone was cheerful, but Nikki sensed that ugly little creature in the room with them. Watching. Drooling.

  Lemur didn’t pick up on it. “I never put it into words before. Just sitting here watching the fire, it just seems so…”

  “Real,” Jack said. Leather creaked as he got comfortable in his armchair again. “She have a name, this princess?”

  “I don’t really care what her name might be. But if I was gonna guess, I’d say she looks like-I don’t know-maybe a Jennifer? Or a Melissa?”

  “I’d have said you was far more likely to find yourself cuddling up with a girl named Jason, or Buck. Something like that.”

  “Very funny.”

  “Listen, Petunia, you ain’t the kind of ace ends up with any Melissa. Reason being, Melissas don’t come supplied with cocks. And you are a natural-born cocksucker if ever I saw one, and that’s the truth.”

  “Don’t talk to me like that.” Lemur folded his arms across his chest. His face had gone all tight. “We don’t call each other names in this family.”

  “No need to get all hissy about it. Your proclivities is your proclivities. I’m just pointing out what’s obvious to everyone except you-that you are a solid gold, one-hundred-percent certified faggot.”

  “It’s Lemur’s future,” Nikki said. “He can imagine it any way he wants.”

  “The world’s ugliest whore defends the world’s dumbest fudge packer. Christ, how’d I end up in this freak show? Tell you what, Lemur, I got the perfect line of work for you. We get up north? You learn yourself some carpentry and go straight into cabinet work. Building closets. ‘Cause you are locked up in a closet even Fort Knox got to envy.”

  “Just shut your mouth,” Lemur said. “I’m not gay.”

  “Is this the kind of family I’m living with?”

  None of them had heard Papa come in. He stood looking at them, hands clasped behind his back the way he always stood, measuring them.

  “We call each other names? Accuse each other? Tell each other to shut up?”

  “Jack was giving Lemur a hard time,” Nikki said. “About being gay.”

  “Is that a fact.”

  “I was just suggesting he might want to stop lying to himself about it. Be a little more honest with hisself.”

  “He was calling me a faggot,” Lemur said.

  “And why is that upsetting, if you’re not one?” Papa said. “Or even if you are?”

  “He’s punkin’ me. Same as if he spit on me.”

  Papa came around the couch and stood with his back to the fire. “Well, people. I have to say, I’m disappointed.”

  “Let’s not make a federal case out of it,” Jack said.

  “No, not about a little name-calling-childish as that might be. What bothers me more, Jack-and all of you-and to be honest, it’s something that bugs me about myself sometimes-it’s just so conventional. So ordinary. The idea that a person who has sex with someone of their own gender is somehow worthy of ridicule. Are we born-again Christians in this family? Are we Scientologists?

  “Being a member of this family is about being free. Free from the labels and conventions our dying society throws around for its convenience. Faggot. Terrorist. Communist. Liberal. Lunatic. It’s the same with all of them. They take the place of real thinking.” Papa tapped a forefinger to his temple. “This family thinks. It does not accept ready-made labels. I want us to be free of those conventions that tie the rest of the world in knots. We don’t accept the Pope’s idea of morality, or Rush Limbaugh’s, or Barack Obama’s. We make our own.

  “All my life my intention has been to free myself, but I don’t want to be alone. I want my family with me. So right here and now, in this room, I’m going to defy convention. I’m going to have sex with Lemur right here in front of you. You think I’m a faggot, Jack?”

  “No, I do not.”

  “You think I’m a faggot, Nikki?”

  “No.”

  “Lemur?”

  “No. But I’m not either, and I don’t want to have sex with you.”

  “You want to be conventional the rest of your life? You want to hide what you might or might not want to do? I don’t think you do. I’m asking you to join me in this little exercise. Exercise makes you stronger. We’re going to break this taboo together, and we’ll both be stronger. You think I don’t feel resistance to it? I do. It’s an iron claw inside my chest, an iron band around my mind. I have no desire to have sex with a man. But I choose to not care.”

  Nikki had seen a lot of things during her short career as a hooker, but she had never seen anything that shocked her more than Papa pulling off his sweater and undershirt right then and there in front of the fire. Removing his shoes and socks and taking off everything else right there in front of them.

  He had a good body, however old he might be. Really in shape, with the skin still tight and the muscles ropy. His skin glowed before the fire.

  “That’s one convention down,” he said. “Are you with me, Lemur?”

  “What about modesty? You were saying just the other day how we-”

  “Special circumstances. Are you going to take your clothes off, or am I gonna do it for you?”

  “I don’t credit this,” Jack said. “This is outright outlandish.”

  “Yes,” Papa said, “it is. Stand up, Lemur.”

  “I don’t want to do this.”

  “I don’t either.” Papa took hold of Lemur’s wrist and pulled him up. “Not sexually. But as an exercise in freedom, I want nothing more. This is important, Lemur. And it takes guts. I think you’ve got the guts. I know you do. And I know you care about our freedoms. Take your sweater off.”

  Lemur hesitated, and Papa took hold of the hem of his sweater and pulled it up over his head. Lemur made some noises of protest but didn’t struggle much. Papa started on his belt.

  “Tell me this ain’t real,” Jack said.

  “You think I’m a faggot?” Papa said.

  “No, I don’t, but-”

  “I refuse to be a slave. I choose freedom, and I want you people beside me. Take ’em off, Lemur. Don’t make me do all the work.”

  Lemur took his jeans off. The two of them were naked, facing each other, about a foot apart.

  “Two men do not get naked in front of each other,” Papa said. “That’s the rule in our society, right? Unless they’re on the same sports team, men do not get naked together. That’s the rule. And they certainly don’t touch each other, right? Not unless they’re faggots. Am I a faggot, Lemur?”

  “No.”

  “No, and you’re not either.” Papa took Lemur’s penis in his right hand. Lemur put his hands up on Papa’s biceps and leaned back. “Whoah, this is…”

  “Am I a faggot, Jack?”

  “Jesus.”

  “Sounding pretty conventional there, Jack.”

  Jack shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. Nikki couldn’t take her eyes off them. Papa got Lemur to sit back on the couch, legs stretched out before him. Papa took hold of his ankles and spread them out and then he knelt between Lemur’s legs and went at it. Nikki covered her face and watched between splayed fingers. Papa seemed like the ungayest person she had ever met, and seeing him going down on a guy was-well, she could feel the furniture of her mind trying to rearrange itself.


  She had never thought before that two men having sex could be anything other than comic or disgusting, but now she felt her own body reacting to the two burnished males before her.

  Papa didn’t ask Lemur to do anything. Lemur just lay back, silent through most of it, moaning toward the end, and gasping when he finally finished in Papa’s mouth. Then Papa held him in his mouth, unmoving, for some time after. Jack was staring straight into the fireplace now, but Nikki had caught him looking lots of times. He was acting all perturbed in how he was sitting and everything, but she could tell he was pretty turned on.

  Papa stood up and started pulling on his clothes, taking his time about it. “Let’s agree on something,” he said, tightening his belt. “There are no faggots in this family. And if Lemur wants to have sex with a man, he is free to do so without any loss of respect around here.”

  Lemur had curled up in the corner of the couch again. He clutched a wad of his clothes over his lap and Nikki could see he was nervous and ashamed and she felt bad for him. She tried to lighten the atmosphere a little.

  “Is it just me,” she said, “or was that, like, major hot?”

  22

  Lemur and Nikki were out on another trail. They had been walking for about ten minutes in snow that was nearly up to the tops of their boots. At breakfast it had been decided to set this trap farther away from the house. It was a bear trap of the old-fashioned kind, with iron jaws that clamped shut.

  “What if an animal steps in it?” Nikki said, puffing with the exertion of slogging through snow. “Won’t it break its leg?”

  Lemur smiled, showing the gap in his front teeth. “You worry too much, kid.”

  “Omigod, how many times do I have to tell you, you’re not old enough to call me kid.”

  “The only animal heavy enough to set this thing off is a bear, and they’re all hibernating this time of year.”

  “So what if a human steps in it?”

  “The only human coming along this trail to the house is going to be someone we don’t want to see. They’ll get what’s coming to them. Family rules. All right, this looks good. We’ll remember where it is because of that tree.” He pointed to an evergreen with one large branch hanging down at a diagonal.

  Nikki put the trap down and started kicking snow out of the way. Lemur leaned his sledgehammer against the tree and started fiddling with the mechanism of the trap.

  “Are you going out again tonight?” Nikki said. “You know, like, to work?”

  “Probably.”

  “How come you have to do these jobs by yourself? Shouldn’t Jack or me be helping you?”

  Lemur shrugged. “Jack’s above that kind of stuff now. And you’re not ready for it. We each have to carry our weight, so pulling these things is my job, that’s all.”

  “Do you ever wonder about the people you’re robbing? How they feel?”

  “A dollar of the enemy’s is worth twenty dollars of our own. That’s what Sun Tzu said.”

  “Why are they our enemies?”

  “Because they’re not us.” Lemur took up the sledgehammer and held it crossways. “It’s about survival too. It’s about K-OS. Civilization is going down and we’re gonna be the survivors. I don’t need to know every detail. And neither do you. Hold the stake.”

  Nikki knelt in the snow and held the stake with both hands. The iron radiated cold through her mittens. If anyone had told her even three months ago that she would be wandering through the forest planting traps in the snow, she would have laughed. But she was beginning to like the outdoors. She was even beginning to like winter. The shafts of sunlight through the trees, the glitter of ice on the branches, the spears of light cast every which way. And the air, so dry and clean it made you feel transparent.

  Lemur swung the sledgehammer, taking care to hit the spike dead-on. Each time, a loud clank ricocheted round the forest and a shudder went up Nikki’s arm bones.

  “Get back to the house.” Jack’s voice, behind them. The master of Papa’s arts of stealth and survival, standing beside the broken tree, as if he had materialized out of the forest. “You heard me,” he said to Lemur. “I’ll show her how to set it.”

  “I’ll show her in a second. We’re just fixing it in place, then I’m gonna show her. Papa asked me to do it,” Lemur said. “Asked me specifically.”

  “Yesterday it took you the entire afternoon to rig up a simple rope trap. We need this done pronto and it’s near lunchtime. I’m going to show her. Now beat it.”

  “You giving orders now?”

  “It’s okay,” Nikki said to Lemur. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

  Lemur kept his eyes on Jack. “You’re not the boss of this family. Nobody’s boss in this family. Everybody’s equal.”

  Lemur was holding the sledgehammer across his body as if to ward off blows. Jack took a step toward him. Nikki was reminded of a nature program she had seen about apes, males posturing and spitting at each other. Jack was by far the taller of the two-a lot more muscular, too. He grabbed hold of the sledgehammer with one hand and with the other slapped Lemur across the face. The sound made Nikki jump. “Get back to the house,” Jack said.

  Lemur stood motionless. His right cheek was an angry red, and tears trickled down from that eye. “I’ll go,” he said. “But not because I’m afraid of you. I’m going because of what Papa says-about loyalty and unity. I’m not gonna fight you.” He threw down the sledgehammer and it vanished in snow. He turned to Nikki. “Guess I’ll see you back at the house.”

  “Okay,” Nikki said. “See you later.”

  Lemur tramped back the way they had come, the snow swishing around his feet.

  Jack rubbed his hands together and put on a smile that looked as fake as anything you might see on a billboard. “It’s you and me, kid. And we are going to set ourselves one hell of a trap.”

  –

  Lunch was over and Jack was carrying away the plates and putting the dishes into the dishwasher-not because anyone asked him to but because he was a neat freak. Liked things in their place. Also, Nikki figured, because he was none too comfortable sitting at the table just now and wanted to get away from Papa’s observant eye.

  Papa had been telling them about how it was going to be up north. How they would have a whole fleet of Jeeps and snowmobiles, and how they would make a living trading them to people who had not had the foresight to prepare. He spoke about how they would love and respect each other and start an entirely different society based on that. And how, when the blacks and the Natives and the Muslims came looking for their help, they would be up and running and ready to steer the remainder of humanity into the new reality. There was more than a little of the poet in Papa when he got going on the subject.

  Today the poetry wasn’t working so well, though, owing to what had transpired in the woods. Lemur was the only one responding, and Nikki didn’t feel like talking, thank you very much.

  Lemur was all excited about Hudson’s Bay blankets. He’d been surfing the Internet on the subject of coloured wool blankets and finally figured out the name. He was all for laying in a huge supply.

  Papa had a tiny little notebook he carried with him at all times. It had an elastic band around it and a little ribbon like they have in bibles so you can find your chapter and verse. He always made a note when someone had a good idea, and they all liked to see him take that little notebook out and write in it with the little stub of a pencil he carried with him for the purpose. Nikki figured he’d had that thing since like the eighties or something.

  “What’s that on your arm?” Papa was looking down at his notebook, but there was no doubt whom he was talking to.

  “You talking to me?” Jack said.

  “There’s a mark on your left forearm.” Papa closed the little notebook and set the elastic band around it and put it in his pocket along with the pencil. “How’d it happen?”

  “I don’t know. It’s nothing.”

  “Jack, it’s a bite mark. How do you come to h
ave a bite mark on your forearm?”

  “It ain’t a bite mark. I took a tumble in the woods. Must have whanged it against something.”

  “You tried to force yourself on Nikki, didn’t you?”

  Nikki spoke up. “We were just wrestling. I was practising the moves you showed me. I guess I got carried away.”

  Papa spoke so quietly she had to strain to hear. “You’re trying to protect him. Maybe you think that’s loyalty, but it isn’t. If someone is disloyal to the family and you take his side, you are being disloyal. Do you understand? I know you’re young, but you need to get this.”

  “Okay.”

  “Jack, you tried to have sex with your sister.”

  “I didn’t have sex with her-and she’s not my sister in the first place. You had sex with Lemur right here in front of all of us.”

  “Nikki is under the age of sixteen. That makes her a child. Also, what I did with Lemur was an exercise.”

  “Yeah, well maybe the rest of us would like a little exercise once in a while. Child? Sister? She ain’t even worthy to be in this family. Were you not in the room when this so-called child told us she performed a record 75 blow jobs in one month? That girl has fuck-has had sex with 167 men and she didn’t even know who they were. She did it with a German shepherd while a bunch of drunk bastards cheered her on. And you think she’s too good to be with me? Where’s your loyalty? That’s what I’d like to know. Where’s your loyalty?”

  “You come to this family, you get dignity,” Papa said. “All that matters is what we do now. How we treat each other now. You don’t get to ruin the family for the rest of us, Jack.”

  “Not only are you taking sides with a whore against your so-called right-hand man, you fail to notice that this poor girl got a face would stop a Mack truck. She’s gotta be downright grateful anyone would want to touch her. When the hell else is anyone not afflicted with outright insanity gonna lay a hand on her? I mean, look at her.”

  Back in the woods, Nikki had kicked him and punched him and finally, when he wouldn’t stop, bit him. That made him let go and she got away from him. What she couldn’t figure out was, why did his words hurt so much? She pressed her chin to her chest and would not cry, but she couldn’t speak either.