Summer Island

by Natalie Normann

  ‘We’ll see. I’m not taking anything for granted. I’m heading out to my dad’s house now. I’ll talk to you later, okay?’

  ‘Sure. Later.’

  Ninni put down the mobile. Perhaps that was the solution, she thought. Jack returned to London, none the wiser, and she did whatever she decided to do. Which she had no idea about yet.

  She lay down on the sofa and closed her eyes. A bleep from the mobile made her look at it. From Karl. She almost dropped the mobile on the floor.

  ‘Just what I needed. Not,’ she muttered. ‘If you wanted me to call back, you shouldn’t have left your name, you twat.’

  She read the text. He wanted to talk to her. Please.

  ‘Please my arse,’ she said, wondering if she should respond or not. In the end she texted back. Don’t ever contact me again. Then she blocked his new number too.

  That would show him, she thought. She put the phone on silent and closed her eyes.

  She was exhausted. All she wanted now was a long nap.

  Chapter 18

  Ninni spent the next day in her boat, pretending to fish but mostly staring into the distance. Frikk kept close, much closer than normal, and she knew he felt something was wrong.

  The sun was glaring from an intense blue sky and she could hear people laughing and shouting on the beach. There were plenty of other boats moored on the water, and the beach was full of people in holiday mood. She could smell the smoke from disposable barbecues. She wasn’t on “beach duty” – Tobben was in charge this week.

  She spotted him walking towards the barbecues, talking to people. She knew exactly what he was telling them. Mostly people were good about it. This was the hottest summer anyone could remember. Olav and Sigrid were happy for the hay, but worried about the potatoes.

  Ninni considered having a bath, but she wasn’t in the mood. Her thoughts kept churning over and over.

  She knew that keeping the baby meant she couldn’t involve Jack. It wasn’t his baby and whatever the relationship was, it wasn’t ready for a situation like this. But that was hardly a reason to abort a baby, she thought.

  It was just a summer fling, she thought. Nothing to take too seriously, nothing to get attached to or be sentimental about, and certainly nobody’s heart would break. Except she felt miserable at the thought of not seeing Jack again.

  You can’t have everything, she thought. No matter what they said. Sometimes you had to make impossible choices. Realising that was the easy part. No matter how panicky she felt, it was up to her, and her alone. It was her decision.

  She decided to call it a day. Jack had sent a text earlier, telling her he had arrived at his dad’s house. She knew he was busy catching up with his family, and that would give her some extra time to figure things out.

  Frikk jumped out of the boat the second she steered it alongside the pier. He sat there, panting, while she secured the boat and unlocked the engine.

  ‘You could help, you know,’ she said, heaving the engine onto the pier.

  Frikk licked her face. ‘Silly dog,’ she said, patting his head.

  The sun chased them inside the boathouse. Ninni put the engine in the box her dad had made for it, then locked the doors and walked towards the house, leaving the beach to the summer guests.

  She didn’t see him until she came up the hill. For a moment she thought it was Jack, and smiled. The smile faded quickly when she realised who the visitor was.

  ‘What do you want?’ she said, grabbing hold of Frikk, who growled next to her.

  Karl smiled his most charming smile, the one that always got to her. Now she couldn’t care less.

  ‘I came to talk to you. I feel I owe you an explanation.’

  ‘Well, I have no interest in your explanation, Karl. Leave.’

  Karl tried to look sorry. ‘I can’t. The last ferry has gone to town. I have no choice now but to stay here. Are you going to make me sleep outside?’

  ‘The weather is warm. You’ll be fine.’ Ninni unlocked the front door and let Frikk inside.

  ‘Please, Ninni. Just give me a few minutes. I feel horrible because of what happened.’

  Ninni narrowed her eyes. She was boiling. ‘I have nothing to say to you.’

  ‘No, but perhaps you can let me talk to you? Please. I have come all this way.’

  ‘You being an idiot isn’t my problem. Perhaps Britt has a place for you in the barn. If you’re lucky.’

  Karl didn’t give up so easily. ‘I really need to talk to you. Please, Ninni. I want to explain.’

  Ninni turned her back on him and walked inside, shutting the door in his face. Suddenly the idea of having a child with him made her sick. She ran to the bathroom and threw up.

  When she came out, Frikk was waiting in front of the door. She looked at him. His tail slapped the floor.

  ‘Oh, for God’s sake.’ She opened the door. Karl was sitting on the step, looking pathetic. ‘Fine, but this doesn’t mean I’m talking to you.’

  Karl followed her inside, not saying a word. Ninni nodded towards the kitchen table. ‘Sit down.’

  ‘Thank you,’ he said.

  Ninni put on a pot of soup from the fridge. All the hurt and the anger welled up inside her.

  ‘I can’t believe you have the nerve to come here after what you did. You know what I’ve been wondering about? How many other women you’ve used for bed and board? You’re such a bastard,’ she said.

  She grabbed a bread knife from the drawer and had the satisfaction of seeing him shudder. The bread was fresh, and she cut a few slices.

  ‘I know I’ve behaved like a shit,’ Karl said. He took a piece of bread and shredded it between his fingers. ‘And I’m more sorry than I could ever express.’

  Ninni barely listened to him. She found a bowl in the cupboard and put it on the table. ‘I’m going upstairs. You can sleep on the sofa.’

  ‘But don’t you want to talk? I’ve come all this way. I’m begging you.’ He was serious.

  Ninni looked at him properly. He looked sad and pathetic, and he still believed he could fool her.

  She realised she wasn’t angry with him any more. She was tired of his games and had wasted enough time and energy on him. ‘You used me for two years while your wife and kids lived in Oslo. You’re a sad little shit and I don’t want to see or hear from you again in my life. My guess is that you’re here now because your wife threw you out and you think I’ll be stupid enough to take you back.’

  The surprised and annoyed expression on his face told her she was right.

  Ninni pointed at him. ‘If you are still here when I wake up I’ll have the police wait for you on the harbour in Haugesund. The first ferry leaves at six. Turn off the lights when you go to sleep.’

  She whistled and Frikk came to her side at once. Without looking at Karl again, she went upstairs. He didn’t come after her.

  Ninni closed the bedroom door and sat down on the bed. Now what? she thought. The idea that she was having a baby with that idiot downstairs made her clench her teeth to avoid screaming.

  She curled up on the bedsheet and closed her eyes. Frikk jumped up behind her. What was she going to do? What would she say to Jack? She had to make him see that whatever it was they had between them was over. Whatever it took, he needed to believe this was the end.

  ***

  Jack walked up the path, exhausted from the trip. He had spent most of the night at the airport in Oslo because of a cancelled flight to Haugesund. Then, when he arrived in Haugesund, it was too early for the ferry. Someone with a boat took pity on him.

  He was close to Ninni’s house when he saw a man leaving. He closed the door behind him and started walking along the road. At some point he spotted Jack and nodded at him.

  ‘God morgen,’ he said, passing him.

  Jack nodded back. ‘God morgen,’ pleased with himself for saying it in Norwegian.

  The man kept walking, with his hands burrowed in his pockets. He looked like he had all the burdens of the worl
d on his shoulders.

  Jack wondered who he could be. He obviously knew Ninni, otherwise he wouldn’t have come out of her house. Not an islander, though. He knew all of them by now.

  He knocked on the front door. Frikk barked and he could hear Ninni shushing him. Jack smiled. He had great news, and he was eager to share it with her.

  Ninni opened the door with a cross expression on her face. For a second her face lit up when she saw him, then it darkened again. He leaned forward to kiss her and she pulled away.

  ‘I’m sorry, I’m not feeling too well. Better stay away for a while,’ she said.

  ‘You look a bit worse for wear. Can I make you some tea or toast?’ Jack said, hiding his disappointment.

  Ninni smiled slightly. ‘That would be nice. I didn’t expect you until tonight,’ she said when he entered the house.

  ‘I was planning to come yesterday, but they cancelled the plane and I ended up staying at the airport in Oslo,’ he said quickly.

  ‘Sorry, that must have been uncomfortable for you,’ she said.

  She looked awful, he thought. Something was wrong. Jack lifted his hand to stroke her hair and she flinched. Something was definitely wrong.

  ‘Yes, it was, but it wasn’t a problem. I slept a few hours on a bench in one of the lounges.’

  ‘And then you came here. It’s nice to see you, Jack.’

  She grabbed a blanket from the sofa in the living room and went into the kitchen.

  Jack pointed at a chair. ‘Sit down, Ninni. I’ll get you some tea to settle your stomach. You should consider going to a doctor if this continues.’

  ‘I don’t like doctors,’ Ninni said, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. ‘All they do is give you bad news you don’t want to hear.’

  ‘Nobody like doctors, but if you’re sick you go. Who was that guy leaving your house?’ Jack watched her to see her reaction.

  Ninni looked at him, a bit startled. ‘You saw him?’

  ‘Walked right past him. He said good morning. I said good morning. Was that Karl? It was, wasn’t it? He looked miserable, by the way.’

  Ninni nodded. ‘He came by last night. To talk. You know, about what happened between us and all that. He wanted to explain himself and … and the last ferry had left.’

  She didn’t look at him when she said it. Instead she picked at her fingernails.

  Jack put the tea mug on the table in front of her. She made no attempt to take it.

  ‘And did you talk?’ Jack realised he was holding his breath.

  ‘Yes, we did.’ Ninni lifted her head. She smiled, but it was a shaky smile. Jack frowned. Something was going on, and he could clearly see that she wasn’t happy about it.

  ‘And you let him?’ Jack chose his words carefully, but he also remembered how she had talked about Karl before. It had seemed like she wouldn’t give the man the time of day.

  ‘He has … changed,’ she said.

  Jack felt a stab in the pit of his stomach. He suddenly knew what was coming next. He leaned against the kitchen counter, bracing himself. ‘And did you believe him?’

  She took a long breath. ‘Yes, I did. I have known him for a long time, Jack. I know when he’s sincere,’ she said in a strained voice, avoiding looking at him.

  Jack wanted to shake her. How the hell could she be so stupid? He didn’t say it though. She looked awful enough.

  Ninni finally pulled the mug of tea closer to her and folded her hands around it. ‘I needed to talk to him, you see. About … about something else.’

  Jack had no idea what was going on with her, but something wasn’t right. Was she lying? And if she was, why would she?

  ‘After what he put you through I would think you’d kick him out of here,’ he said.

  ‘I … I decided to give him a chance to explain himself. He showed up last night, and I couldn’t let him spend the night in the field, now could I?’ She narrowed her eyes.

  Jack folded his arms across his chest. ‘I’m not trying to tell you what do to, Ninni. I’m just surprised. When you told me about Karl, I got the impression you didn’t want to talk to him ever again.’

  Ninni sipped the tea. Jack waited. It wasn’t his place to say anything. If she wanted to talk to her old boyfriend, she had every right to do so.

  Finally he broke the silence. ‘I’m here, Ninni. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.’

  ‘Maybe later,’ she said.

  Jack made a decision before he said something he would regret. ‘Then I think I should go back to my house and get some sleep. Airports are not comfortable. See you later?’ She nodded again, not saying anything. Jack looked at her. ‘Are you sure nothing else happened?’

  ‘Like what?’ She looked at him then, a quick glance up.

  ‘I don’t know. You don’t look well and there’s something bothering you. I can stay, if you want.’

  Ninni shook her head. ‘That’s not necessary. It’s best if you go and get some rest. I’m going to do the same. Just as soon as I have thrown up again. Excuse me.’

  She pushed the chair away and disappeared upstairs, her hand to her mouth. Jack looked at Frikk, who perked his ears and gave him a puzzled look.

  ‘You and me both, Frikk.’

  She had left the blanket on the floor. Jack picked it up, folded it and dropped it on the bench before he sat down at the table. He had no intention of leaving her alone when she was sick – no matter how hard she tried to push him away.

  After a while he could hear her moving about on the first floor. It didn’t sound as if she was going to bed. Frikk decided to show his affection and put his head on Jack’s knee.

  Jack stroked the soft ears. ‘You probably know what’s going on, don’t you?’ He sighed. ‘And I had such good news too. But you don’t care about that, do you?’ he said to the dog.

  Ninni suddenly appeared in the doorway. She looked even paler than before. ‘I’m sorry, Jack, I should have told you right away, but I didn’t know how to.’

  So she had been lying. Jack waited for the explanation with a bad feeling in his stomach.

  Ninni hesitated for a second, then talked so fast he almost didn’t understand what she was saying. ‘I’m going back to Bergen. To move in with Karl.’

  That was the last thing he had expected her to say. ‘I’m sorry?’

  ‘I’ve made up my mind. Our summer fling is over, Jack. It’s time to return to real life.’ Ninni looked down and he knew she was lying.

  ‘That’s rubbish,’ he said.

  She smiled then – a sad smile that didn’t reach her eyes. ‘No, it’s not. It’s my decision. I hope you can respect that.’

  Jack stayed seated. ‘I don’t believe you,’ he said and didn’t take his eyes off her. ‘For some reason you don’t want to tell me whatever is going on, and you’re feeding me this bullshit. I’m a big boy, Ninni. Don’t lie to me to spare my feelings. Tell me the truth. I deserve that much, don’t I?’

  She folded her arms over her chest with an angry look on her face. ‘Fine,’ she snapped. ‘I’m pregnant and Karl is the father. That’s why he was here. Are you happy now?’

  Jack felt as if someone had punched him hard in the stomach. He forced himself to talk slowly. ‘You’re pregnant? How do you know?’

  Ninni shook her head. ‘I went to the doctor and got a test. That’s why I’ve been ill.’

  He believed her. She wouldn’t lie about something like that. At least the truth was out. Jack frowned. ‘So you’re keeping the baby, right?’

  ‘Yes, I am. I had an abortion when I was seventeen, Jack. It was the right decision at that point; I had no business being anyone’s mum back then. And this time it’s the right decision to keep the baby. I called Karl, he came here and we talked.’

  ‘You called him? Asked him to come here?’ Jack tried to wrap his head around it, but it seemed too much.

  ‘Yes, I did. I want to do this right, Jack.’

  Jack lifted a hand. ‘Let me get this straight. You�
�re pregnant with Karl’s child, and you’re going back to a man who cheated on both you and his wife? A man who has no moral qualms about lying to his wife and children. Why on earth would you do something so stupid?’

  Ninni narrowed her eyes. ‘The baby needs a father too, you know, and I don’t want to do this on my own. And don’t call me stupid, you idiot.’

  ‘Well, you are beyond stupid, actually. No child deserves a bastard for a dad. I think Karl has proven beyond any doubt what kind of father he is.’ Jack started pacing the floor, then stopped in front of her. ‘How does Karl feel about this?’

  ‘He was shocked at first, of course, but now he’s happy about it.’

  Jack thought about Karl’s face. That was not the face of a happy man. ‘Are you sure about that? He looked pretty depressed when I saw him.’

  Ninni closed her eyes for a moment, then took a deep breath. ‘Listen, Jack, this doesn’t concern you. I have to do what’s right for me and for the baby.’

  ‘How can raising a child with a man like Karl be the right choice? He will be bloody useless, Ninni. Why don’t you give me a chance?’ Jack threw it out there before he had a chance to think about it.

  Her eyes widened. ‘It’s not your child, Jack. What if you decide further down the road that this isn’t for you anyway? And I have to explain to a child that you’re not his or her real father, and that’s why you’re leaving?’

  It stung, and it made him even more mad. ‘In what universe do you believe that Karl will stay with you and the baby? You don’t love him, you don’t even respect him. There’s nothing there to build anything on.’

  Ninni rubbed her forehead. ‘Karl promised to be there for us,’ she said quietly.

  ‘I bet he promised his wife and kids the same at some point,’ Jack said, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice.

  ‘There’s no need to be nasty,’ Ninni said.

  ‘I’m sorry, but it doesn’t make it less true. Why don’t you give us a chance, Ninni?’

  She looked at him now. ‘I know you think you can do what your dad did. He raised you like his own child and he did a great job. But that was a different situation. You knew from the beginning he wasn’t your real dad. This baby has a right to know his or her real father.’