My mouth dropped open, and I could do nothing but stare at him.
“You’re shitting me.”
He shook his head. “No. What do you think I did?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t realize you did something so specific. But you always have these,” I said, indicating to the file folder with a long finger. “I guess I just thought you were still kind of in the CIA, but just didn’t get any calls.”
He grinned. “All you had to do was ask.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll remember that next time.”
Walking over to him after picking up my purse, I pressed my lips against his.
“I have to go see my parents after work today. I saw my mom leaving this morning when I went to get the paper. She’s pissed, I better head it off before it gets too complicated.”
He winked and pressed his lips against mine again.
“You know your mom and me…we never had anything. It was just two lonely people spending time with each other,” he told me, holding his big hand at the back of my head so I couldn’t back away.
I blinked. “Actually, no, I didn’t know that. I’ve wondered, though.”
He shook his head, and a smile ticked up the corner of his mouth. “There you go again. Darlin’, all you gotta do is ask me whatever it is that you wanna know.”
I shrugged. “Oops.”
Placing another kiss on my mouth, he gave me a slap on the ass and said, “Go on, before you’re late.”
I looked down at my watch.
Shit.
I was going to be late if I didn’t go now.
“Okay, I’ll call you around lunchtime to see if you want anything,” I said.
With one last kiss on the lips, I walked out the front door of Silas’ place.
I was taking Silas’ truck because he hated my car, so I bypassed mine and went straight to his pretty black Dodge Ram.
Not that I was complaining. I loved his truck.
And I loved that he wanted me safe, which was why I hadn’t driven my car in well over a week.
Hell, all of my stuff was even in his truck.
You know, those little things that everyone leaves in their vehicles?
Phone charger. Chap Stick.
Tampons.
I looked in my rearview mirror to see the familiar silhouette of a motorcycle behind me.
That wasn’t new.
I’d had them following me around for a while now, courtesy of Silas.
He thought that Shovel would try to come after me, and who was I to argue? I didn’t know the man, so I had to trust that Silas knew what he was talking about.
And deal with the fact that a man followed me everywhere I went twenty-four seven.
Turning my eyes back to the road, I swung the huge beast into Target’s parking lot and parked at the back of the lot.
I wasn’t used to parking this big boy yet.
My phone rang as I slid out of the truck, landing on my feet lightly.
“Hello?” I answered, pressing the lock button on the key fob as I started to walk towards the front of the building.
“Hey, I’m going to be late for lunch. I have a job interview,” Ruthie said excitedly.
I squealed. “How exciting! Where?”
“Halligans and Handcuffs,” she answered. “I’m pretty sure it’s a pity job given to me by your man, but I’ll take just about anything at this point.”
I laughed. “Trust me. If Silas didn’t think you were qualified, you wouldn’t be getting the interview. He may like you, but he likes his businesses better.”
“Businesses?” Ruthie asked.
I nodded, coming to a stop at the side of the building so I didn’t have everyone and their brother listening to my conversation.
“Yeah, apparently he owns Halligans and Handcuffs, as well as Life Flight,” I told her. “Although I just figured it out a couple of days ago when he took me with him to the office and forced me to file paperwork while he did something on the computer.”
Ruthie laughed. “Forced you to file paperwork? I’m sure he did that.”
I laughed. “Okay, well I did it willingly. Regardless, I just found out about the place, though.”
“Well, you’ve only known him for like two months. What did you want to do, know his whole life story in that short of a time period?” She asked laughingly.
I sighed. “I gotta make a run for it into the Target. But I’ll call you back later today and let you know how the meeting with the parents went!”
Something I so wasn’t looking forward to.
At all.
“Later, chicka. Good luck,” she said.
I laughed as I pressed the ‘end call’ button and dumped the phone into my bag.
Making a mental list in my head of things I needed to get, I quickly started for the front door, stopping when I reached the very corner of the awning in the front.
Which was why I saw my dad, who hadn’t seen me.
He was with a woman…a woman that was not my mother.
And I couldn’t tell you why I stopped and listened to their conversation instead of saying hello like I usually would have.
Instead, I moved until I could just barely see my father’s back, but I could hear everything he was saying to the pretty blonde-haired woman in front of him.
“I’m sorry, Judy. I didn’t mean to string you along. I never would’ve done that intentionally. It’s just that my ex-wife and I decided to give it a second go, and I’ve wanted that since we’d divorced six years ago. I’m so sorry I hurt you,” my father said, touching the woman in front of him on the arm.
My heart sank.
“If you loved her, why’d you leave her?” This Judy chick hissed at my father.
I stopped behind the huge red pillar at the front of the Target and waited to hear his reply.
“After my daughter went to prison, my wife and I took a break. My wife decided that the break needed to be permanent when she and I had a difference of opinion where our daughter was concerned,” he admitted.
It all finally made sense.
Were my parents ever going to tell me this?
Or was I supposed to go on blissfully unaware?
Getting back to the truck wasn’t very hard.
I just pulled my hood high over my head, tucked my bag back into the crook of my arm and walked slowly back to Silas’ truck.
The moment I was inside, I pulled my phone out and called Silas.
He was the first one I thought to talk to, and that no longer made me nervous.
Because I loved Silas.
Even if he hid stuff from me.
“Did you know?” I asked, tears coursing down my cheeks.
“Know what, baby?” Silas asked worriedly.
“About my parents,” I answered.
“What about them?”
“That they were divorced,” I cried.
I could tell he paused in what he was doing. “Yeah, I knew.”
My eyes closed. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I have to find out because I listened in on a conversation between my father and his ex-girlfriend in front of Target?”
He cleared his throat and said, “Because it’s not my job. They’re your parents, baby. It wasn’t my place.”
“God,” I breathed. “They divorced because of me.”
“They divorced because they were both hardheaded and wanted to divorce. Talk to them. I have no answers as to what they were thinking when they did that,” Silas said. “But if you talk to them, then you’ll get the answers you need. I’m sorry you found out that way, baby.”
Oh, I’d be getting answers all right.
A lot of them.
***
My gut was churning as I made my way up my parents’ front walk six hours later.
I looked longingly over my shoulder at Silas’ place, then waved at the man on the motorcycle that was parked under the tree acr
oss the yard.
He waved back, and I walked into my parent’s house without knocking.
I found my mother at the kitchen sink, and my father sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper.
They both turned in surprise when they saw me.
“Hey baby,” my mother said. “Are you hungry?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not.”
I hadn’t meant for my voice to sound so forlorn, but I couldn’t help it.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the fact that my parents had divorced.
“What’s wrong, baby?” My dad asked as he stood up.
I looked at my dad as he walked across the room towards me.
He was a big, burly man with a pot-belly that confirmed his love his of beer and cake.
But he was still so handsome with his brown hair and his honey brown eyes.
He had a killer smile that was still the same as the day he married my mom.
“I…I overheard you today at Target,” I said, eyes on him and his reaction.
He froze and looked over his shoulder at my mother.
Had he told her what he’d done?
That question was answered moments later when my mother said, “You saw him with Judy.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
She sighed and turned the water off, grabbing the towel beside the sink and drying her hands as she went to the table.
“Come sit,” she said, patting the seat. “Seems we have quite a bit to talk about.”
I could tell she wanted to talk about the whole Silas situation, too.
She’d been calling me since the night I’d found out about my prison sentence being for naught.
My brother had a big mouth and had probably told my mom the instant we’d left.
“How about we just get it all out on the table,” my father said without preamble. “Your mother and I divorced because we couldn’t get over the fact of how much we’d failed you. She wanted to keep fighting, but I forced her to stop the only way I knew how. By divorcing her.”
I blinked. “What?”
He nodded. “Without both of our incomes, she couldn’t keep it up, and she was forced to stop beating the dead horse.”
My mother’s eyes filled with tears.
My father’s head dropped. “We couldn’t afford anything else.”
I blinked. “I don’t understand.”
“Your mother and I always believed that you were innocent of the crime they’d accused you of, but we had no way to stop what was happening. We’d used our entire life savings, and all of the money in our 401Ks. Every penny we had, we used, and we just couldn’t do it anymore. It was already a struggle before, but after that, with the lawyer’s fees, we couldn’t do it and stay afloat.” My father’s voice cracked, “You’ll never know how truly horrible it was to do that to you…to your mother. But we just couldn’t do it anymore.”
I closed my eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered with devastation evident in my voice. “I’m so, so sorry.”
My father’s arms wrapped around me, as he said “It wasn’t your fault, and from what your brother’s told us, we really were right about it not being your fault. We love you, baby girl. And every cent and heartache was worth it. I only wish I would’ve let your mother try harder so you wouldn’t have had to spend eight years of your life in there.”
All this time I’d been avoiding them, and they’d sacrificed so much!
“I’m such a bad person,” I whispered brokenly as I clutched my father’s chest.
I felt my mother’s warm body at my back as she pressed her lips against my forehead. “It’s not your fault, honey bun. We both know you had no control over what happened.”
“I’ve been horrible to you since I’ve gotten back. I’ve been so ensconced in my mind that I haven’t been thinking about how it felt for you,” I whispered, wiping my tears on my father’s shirt.
My mother sifted her hand through my hair like she used to do when I was upset as a child.
“We understand, baby girl. We understand everything. Everything. We promise,” she explained.
I had a feeling we were no longer talking about just the way I’d treated them anymore.
I pulled away from my dad and turned to my mom, taking a deep breath.
“I love him,” I told her.
She smiled. “He’s easy to love. I’m just glad he loves you back.”
I blinked.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“Because he’s come over and spoken with us about his intentions,” my father said at my back.
I gasped. “He what?”
My father nodded. “The day that your brother told us about you and him, he came over here and let us know personally. Then he let us know where everything stood with the charges, and how he was trying to convince you to get a lawyer to seek more restitution.”
I blinked.
Which was all I seemed capable of doing.
“Which we wholeheartedly agree with. We believe that you should be compensated for all the money you spent in legal fees, as well as your school loans,” my mother added.
I grimaced.
I’d forgotten about those.
But it didn’t surprise me that I would have to pay those back still.
Wonderful, yet another thing I had to worry about paying.
Shit.
“Okay,” I said finally. “I’ll think about it.”
My mother smiled.
“Good. Now, are you ready to have some pie, or should I wait a couple minutes before slicing it? It just got out of the oven,” she smiled, clearly hoping to entice me.
Really, there was no other option, so I had some pie.
And thought about ways that I could get my parents married again, since it was apparent they were living in sin.
Chapter 18
The best things in life are the things that have the greatest consequences. Like cake. Calories are a bitch.
- Fact of life
Sawyer
The drive to Kilgore, Texas wasn’t a long one.
What made it feel long, however, was the way Silas was acting.
I had my hands wrapped around his waist, but it could’ve been a tree for all I knew.
Silas was pissed at me, because I insisted that his children needed to know about Shovel being released from prison.
It had been two weeks since I’d found out that the charges against me were dropped.
My records were in the process of being expunged, and I was in contact with the Club’s lawyer who would be helping me with the restitution case against the state.
That’d been Silas’ idea and not mine.
I really just wanted it all to go away.
Yesterday.
The man responsible for it all had been arrested.
And just like eight years ago, the entire town’s attention was once again on me.
And I freakin’ hated it.
It reminded me over and over again about how it felt to have all their scrutiny eight years ago, when the wounds of killing those four people were still fresh.
Not to mention that I’d finally bugged him enough about telling his family that the Shovel guy he’d worried about was still around. He might even be closer than they realized.
He didn’t want to worry his kids unnecessarily, but after a lot of convincing done on my part, he’d finally relented. He didn’t have to be happy about it, though.
And, apparently, he thought it’d be a good idea to tell his kids about this at his grandchild’s baptism.
I walked next to Silas, staring up in awe at the building in front of me.
The church was massive. It was old and beautiful and just so… grand.
“Are you sure it’s OK that I’m here?” I asked Silas nervously.
Silas nodded. “Yeah, I think it’s time for you to meet all of my kids. It�
��s not ever going to get any easier, and it’s time to just rip the band aid off and get it done.”
I didn’t agree.
From what he’d told me, his kids were all around my age.
I was younger than the eldest two, his sons. His daughter was my age exactly, her birthday only two months after mine.
“Which granddaughter is getting baptized?” I asked once again.
He’d told me earlier, but I couldn’t remember her name.
They all started with a ‘P.’
“Phoebe,” he said again, not batting an eye at my forgetfulness.
He seemed almost preoccupied, as if he didn’t want to be here at all.
What I couldn’t understand was…why?
These were his grandkids for Christ’s sake.
Then I found out about ten minutes later when we tracked down his first-born son, Sam.
He was tall like Silas, built a lot like his dad.
He had black hair, though, compared to Silas’ salt and pepper.
Each had beards, but Sam’s was a little shorter than Silas’.
The moment Sam saw Silas, his demeanor changed.
No longer open like it’d been when he was talking to an older woman in front of him, but completely closed off and unwelcoming.
Silas walked up with me, and I had the urge to wrap Silas into my arms and stop him before he got too close to Sam.
But Silas was fearless, and he walked right up to Sam without any hesitation whatsoever in his step.
But Silas’ eyes went to the woman first as he stopped directly in front of them.
“Leslie,” Silas said, nodding his head slightly. “How are you doing?”
Oh, shit!
This was his ex-wife.
The woman that I couldn’t seem to stop comparing myself to.
Ever since the night he’d told me what had happened with his ex, I have been slightly self-conscious.
I knew that Silas cared about Leslie.
Deeply.
He’d been head over heels in love with her.
Was he still?
Looking at Silas’ face, I couldn’t tell. It was unreadable.
He did that when he didn’t want his emotions examined.
He was good at it, too.
It was something that drove me up the freakin’ wall.
Counter To My Intelligence (The Heroes of The Dixie Wardens MC Book 7) Page 19