It was hard to gauge Silas at times because of his ability to literally shut down every single emotion that he was feeling.
Other people showed their anger with their words or their demeanor.
You wouldn’t realize Silas was even mad until he threw the first punch.
“Silas,” Leslie said, nodding her head at him. “I’ll see you later, son.”
Silas watched her as she walked away, and then turned back to his son when he could no longer see her.
“Sam, I need to talk to you for a minute,” Silas rumbled softly.
His son, Sam, looked up at him and glared.
“I don’t have time,” he answered immediately, not even giving his father a chance to explain why he needed it.
I gritted my teeth at the accusation in the man’s tone.
Seriously, who doesn’t have time for their own parent?
It’d taken a lot of convincing on my part to even get Silas to tell Sam.
“It won’t take but a minute. I need you to gather James and Sebastian, too,” Silas continued as if Sam hadn’t said a word.
“Fuck,” the man hissed. “I’ll meet you out back in ten.”
Then he walked past us, not even acknowledging me at all.
“That was fun,” I said humorlessly.
Silas looked down at me and winked.
“I know,” he said. “Take a seat here, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
I sat on the bench at the back of the rapidly filling church and looked down at my hands in contemplation.
I’d met Sebastian, of course.
He’d been by many times with his kids and wife to see Silas.
The other two, Shiloh and Sam, I’d yet to meet.
And from what I’d seen so far, I wasn’t impressed.
It wasn’t two minutes later that two women walked up.
One had long, curly blonde hair, while the other had a short bob of brown hair.
I knew who they both were instantly from the pictures in Silas’ house.
Sam’s wife, Cheyenne, and Silas’ daughter, Shiloh.
Shiloh was married to the blonde man I could see across the room watching the three of us.
“Hi,” I said softly as they sat.
The two of them smiled.
The blonde more than the brunette, though.
“Hey,” Cheyenne said. “How’s it going? I’m glad you could make it.”
I blinked. “Uhh, thanks.”
I came because Silas looked nervous as hell, and I didn’t want him to go somewhere he wasn’t welcome by himself.
“We didn’t know that you were coming…or that you were dating my dad…until just about two minutes ago. Needless to say, we’re a little surprised. You’re pretty young,” Shiloh said, sitting back and crossing her arms, not holding any punches.
She was a beautiful woman, but it didn’t surprise me.
Silas wouldn’t have ugly kids.
Not with how gorgeous he was.
And after seeing his ex-wife, it was no wonder that Shiloh was so beautiful.
“I’m thirty in about a week,” I informed her. Thirty wasn’t young. Not by a long shot.
Shiloh raised a brow. “You do know that my dad’s fifty-four, right?”
I blinked, then nodded. “Yeah, I know that.”
“And you’re still with him?” Shiloh asked incredulity.
“Um, yes?” I asked, a question in my tone.
What was the big deal about me still being with him?
I loved him.
The fact that he had twenty-four years on me didn’t change that fact.
“So…what are your intentions?” Cheyenne asked.
I looked over at her and smiled. “You know, my father just told me that Silas told him his intentions yesterday. Then to have his daughter-in-law ask me the same question only a day later is kinda funny.”
Cheyenne smiled slightly. “Yeah, I can see how it would be. But you still didn’t answer my question.”
Shrugging I said, “I love him.”
Shiloh’s eyes narrowed, but surprisingly, she didn’t say anything negative to my admission.
“You better be good to him,” she whispered.
Thankfully, Silas returned twenty minutes later, because I was nearly over the two women sitting in the seat beside me.
“What happened to your beard?” His daughter asked sharply.
Silas sat.
Then Shiloh’s eyes turned to me accusingly.
What was wrong with his beard?
“Shaved it off,” he said without explanation.
Shiloh blinked. “What do you mean, you shaved it off? You’ve had that beard for years, and then all of a sudden you start dating her, and it’s gone?”
I blinked.
“Umm, he was like this when I met him,” I supplied helpfully.
Shiloh turned her glare on me.
“I didn’t ask you,” she hissed.
I snapped my mouth shut and turned my face to the side.
Wow. Just wow.
Should I even be here?
“I think I’ll run to the ladies room,” I said, getting up quickly.
I wasn’t sure when the ceremony was supposed to start, but I figured now was the time to go.
Maybe if they had some alone time together they could work out whatever was going on between them.
The two women, nor Silas, complained as I slipped out of the pew, and I was thankful.
Jesus.
I was really starting to doubt my sanity.
And poor Silas.
No wonder the man was lonely.
His own family didn’t even like him!
Which was crazy to me, because he was a man of honor. A huge heart and willing to lend a hand to anyone who needed it.
Shaking my head, I moved purposefully down the aisle of the quickly filling church and headed straight to the bathroom.
I didn’t really have to use it, but I might as well.
I might even go on a walk around the grounds. Possibly hitch a ride back to Benton.
Surely Silas could take care of himself, right?
I hurried through the bathroom ritual, washing my hands and inspecting my makeup.
It looked pretty good, even after riding a motorcycle here for over an hour.
By the time I made it back into the church ten minutes later the ceremony had already started, so I closed the door quietly behind me and took a seat in the very back.
Cheyenne and Sam were at the front, holding a young girl of four or five between them.
She was wearing all white, and her eyes were wide as she stared at the preacher in front of her.
My mind wandered as the ceremony continued, and before I knew it, everyone around me was standing as they said a final prayer over Pru…or was it Piper?
Hell, I didn’t know.
Was it okay to think ‘hell’ in church?
Lord knew I didn’t need any more black marks on my soul.
I was fairly sure God looked down upon people like me.
I looked at the huge wooden cross hanging in the front of the church above the pulpit, and thought about where my life had taken me in the last two months.
I’d been scared beyond belief the day I was released.
Scared that I was going to be alone forever, homeless and jobless.
Now, I was practically living with a man, the man that I’d fallen in love with, but hadn’t formally told yet.
I was at a job I loved, working with animals that I loved even more.
And I had my two best friends at my side. One of whom was happily married to my twin brother.
My parents were happy – and together – once again.
The only thing that was missing from my life were my three other brothers, and they would all be home soon according to the letters I’d received from them.
And then there were those
criminal charges.
The ones that were just recently dropped.
I seriously couldn’t ask for anything more.
Oh, I take that back, I did want more. I wanted to marry Silas.
I wanted kids…kids that I knew would probably never happen.
I wanted a house to call my own, one that Silas and I built together.
I wanted a nice car that I bought myself. I wanted to wake up every morning beside the love of my life.
And I wanted Silas to be that man.
I wanted everything.
“Hey,” someone interrupted my thoughts.
I blinked and turned to find Sebastian standing at my side.
“Yeah?” I asked.
He nodded across the room. “Dad asked me to get you.”
I smiled. “Okay. Where does he want me?”
Sebastian grinned. “My guess would be next to him in some form or fashion.”
Nodding, I walked next to the big man that was entirely too nice looking for his own good.
Although, in my honest opinion, he had nothing on Silas.
That beautiful salt and pepper hair. Those big bulky arms. Tight clipped beard. Luscious lips. Strong, sexy stomach. And those eyes.
He really had it going on, and I still couldn’t figure out what he saw in me.
Especially with him standing in the sun like that, a bright smile on his face.
He took my breath away.
Once I reached Silas’ side, he held his hand out to me, and my heart skipped a beat.
Sebastian disappeared, and it was just the two of us under the bright noon sun.
“Where’d you disappear to?” He rumbled, eyes full of concern.
I would’ve answered him, but a rude voice cut into our conversation like nails on a chalkboard.
“You’re an asshole, and I hope your face rots off,” a woman hissed at Silas.
I blinked.
Well, that was harsh!
But seriously, the whole damn day had been full of everyone treating Silas like shit!
First his son, and now this woman.
What the fuck was going on?
“I don’t understand,” I said. “What’s she talking about?” I asked softly, looking up at Silas.
Silas’ head hung like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“That,” he said, keeping his head down. “Is my ex. And it looks like she was just talking to my ex-wife.”
I knew the ex-wife.
The ‘ex’ was new, though.
I also couldn’t figure out what she was doing there.
“I take it they don’t get along,” I surmised.
He laughed humorlessly. “No, I don’t think they do. And it’s understandable.”
Yeah, from the explanation he’d given me about the two of them, it was understandable.
I’d probably hate him a little bit, too.
It’d help if Silas explained what had happened and why he’d acted like that, but he didn’t.
He thought he was doing them a favor by not saying anything to them or informing them of why.
“What is the ex- girlfriend doing here?” I asked.
Silas shook his head. “Not a clue. But I try not to have much of anything to do with her if I can help it.”
I had nothing to say to that.
From what Silas had told me of his ex, she did have a reason to warrant her snotty behavior.
And I couldn’t say that I wouldn’t do the same exact same thing had I been in that situation.
I would like to think that I was a better person than that, but right now Silas was my world.
I could even imagine having kids with him, something that would bind us even tighter together.
I’d be lost if I found out he’d cheated on me with his wife on the side…one I hadn’t realized he even had.
Wanting to change the subject, I asked, “How did the talk with Sam and James go?”
His mouth clenched and the strong muscles of his jaw started to work.
“Not good. They’re justifiably pissed,” he answered. “Don’t like that I’ve had men on them without their knowledge.”
I wondered if I should’ve said anything to that, but he sighed.
“I needed to tell them, it’s just hard to give my own kid more ammunition against me,” Silas finally admitted. “And I’m sorry that I took it out on you that I didn’t want to tell them. Getting mad at you was easier than telling them that Shovel is back in the picture.”
I blinked.
I never even thought that it was hard for him.
I just thought he didn’t think that his sons needed to know.
It’d never crossed my mind that he was scared to hear what his son would say.
“You want to dance?” I suddenly blurted.
He looked down at me. “In the sun?”
“There’s music,” I said defensively.
He laughed. “I’ll dance with you, honey. Just not here.”
I smiled. “Where then?”
His face got close to mine, so close that I could practically taste his lips on my own.
“When we get home. Promise.”
Home.
I liked the way he said that, almost as if he’d moved me in permanently.
“Sounds good,” I breathed, closing the distance until our mouths touched.
“Ewww,” a young kid squealed. “Papa’s kissing a girl!”
I looked over to see a blonde headed rug rat watching us with disgust on her face.
“Pru, darlin.’ It’s not very nice to scream,” Silas reprimanded his eldest granddaughter gently.
The girl grinned, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Looks like you have your hand full with this one,” I teased.
He grinned. “Wait till you meet the rest of them.”
***
“Aren’t you the chick who killed those four people because you were drinking and driving?” Sam asked.
I sensed no condemnation in his tone, but it didn’t hurt any less.
He might as well have shoved a hot fire poker into my spinal column, because that was practically the effect he had on me.
“Yes,” I said softly. “I was the one who killed those four people.”
Sam blinked, surprised that I’d answered him truthfully, I guess.
“Hmm,” he said, not knowing what to say to that.
“Didn’t you go to prison for twelve years?” Shiloh asked.
I shook my head. “Eight.”
“Leave her alone,” Sebastian ordered, sitting down. “Dad’s going to be pissed if you hurt her.”
I smiled at Sebastian.
He was such a good guy.
“We were just asking her a few questions,” Shiloh defended herself.
Would it be rude to get up and leave?
Silas had asked me to wait at the table I was sitting at, yet I didn’t really want to be here right now.
“How are you allowed to be drinking? Shouldn’t you, you know, abstain?” Shiloh continued.
I closed my eyes.
Maybe I should be.
But then again, if I didn’t drink I wouldn’t be able to handle the two spoiled rotten children of Silas’ right then.
“I need to use the restroom,” I said softly.
I stood and walked carefully away from them, trying my hardest not to run.
I was surprised to find Silas on my way there, and instead of letting me go to the bathroom, he caught my hand and led me outside.
“Let’s go,” he urged.
I blinked. “You’re not going to say goodbye?”
“Why would I?” He asked. “It’s not like they’re going to miss me or anything.”
My heart ached for him.
“Let’s go home,” I confirmed, walking with him to his bike and ignoring my bladder’s reaction at not getting to use the facilities.
/>
Once we got to his bike, he gestured to someone in the shadows, one of his men I guessed, and mounted the bike.
Offering me his hand, I mounted behind him and wrapped my hands around his waist as he started it up with a throaty roar.
My skin tingled as I felt the muscles in his stomach clench as he slowly started to accelerate forward.
I sighed in bliss as I closed my eyes and relished the alone time. My brain was a mess.
I looked over when another roar caught my attention, and smiled when I saw Sebastian and his wife, Baylee, directly beside us.
Well, not completely alone.
But I guess, at this moment in time, that having Sebastian next to us wasn’t that bad after all.
Silas could use the support.
And I’d be offering that until he didn’t want it anymore.
Because Silas needed a friend.
He needed someone to always have his back and have no other loyalties but to him and him alone.
That’s what a man like Silas needed in a woman.
Support.
Love.
Acceptance.
And lucky for him, I had all of that for him…and more.
Chapter 19
I miss you sex is always worth the wait.
- Truth
Sawyer
“What are you doing?” I asked aloud as I followed Silas.
His head wasn’t there today, and I was worried about him.
I’d been worried about him for a while now.
He wasn’t the same man that I’d met in the beginning, and I feared that everything was weighing him down. My problems. His problems. Everyone in the club’s problems.
And what was worse was that he’d been acting different since we’d gotten back from the baptism yesterday.
I couldn’t figure out why he’d completely disregarded everything I’d said.
It was as if he was hurting or something, and I was determined to get down to the bottom of it.
So when he said he had to go, taking out a six-pack of beer out of his fridge on the way, I followed him. He has taken some alone time since we have been together. We aren’t together all the time, but this seemed different than his usual.
And I didn’t follow him very well. And not easily, might I add.
Mostly because he was on a bike compared to my car.
He could slide through traffic like a slippery eel.
I, on the other hand, drove so slowly that I could barely keep up with him.
Counter To My Intelligence (The Heroes of The Dixie Wardens MC Book 7) Page 20