Take My Dress Off

by S. Gilmour

  “Paige, I swear at first I thought you knew. He was a friend of Donny’s for God’s sake.”

  And then Almost Paradise softly poured from the speakers.

  “Oh my God!” I cried. “Turn that off, fuck! Why do you have that stupid song on your tape?”

  “I like it,” he whispered.

  My head was spinning.

  He braced his arms on my shoulders and turned me toward him. “I thought you were okay with it, all that bisexual stuff. Like Danielle is with Donny. When I realized what he was up to…it was too late.” His hands dropped from my shoulders. “You wouldn’t have believed me anyway.” He reached over to his desk and grabbed a tissue box.

  “What he was up to?” He held the box in front of me and I took one. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?” I said as I wiped my nose.

  “Chaz only went after you to get back at me.”

  His words hit me like a slap across the face. “Back at you? For what?”

  Dillon rested his hands on his knees and lowered his head. “Did he tell you about Miranda Chavez?”

  “Chaz’s old girlfriend? What the hell does Miranda have to do with this?”

  “I used to date her little sister, Shelley.”

  “And?”

  “I don’t quite remember when Chaz started hanging out here but that guy Spade brought him over to party one night.”

  “Spade?” I thought back to my first date with Chaz. It was the night we saw Rocky Horror at the drive-in. “I know him.”

  “They were partying pretty hard and when the coke came out I bailed and went to bed.

  “Coke?” I gasped. “As in cocaine?”

  He nodded and handed me another tissue. “I got up in the middle of the night to take a piss and…and…when...” He took a deep breath. “When I walked into the bathroom…” The words stuck in his throat.

  I shook my head. I knew what was coming.

  “Chaz was in there…with Donny.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It was just so weird. My brother. I was so fucking mad at both of them, I just…reacted. I called Shelley and told her. She told Miranda so of course that was it for her and Chaz. Donny kicked my ass pretty bad for that one.” He shook his head. “Anyway, Chaz blamed me for losing Miranda and Donny made me promise to stay out of it when you came along.”

  I rose from the bed. I felt like there was no one left to trust. Danielle, Donny, now Dillon. Everyone had known I had made a fool out of myself except me.

  “I have to get out of here. I feel so sick.” I reached for my bag.

  “You hate me, don’t you?” His dark eyes pleaded with mine.

  I couldn’t reply. I had nothing left to say. The intro to Journey’s Open Arms filled the room and suddenly I didn’t care about any of it. I wanted to feel something besides pain. I needed Dillon’s skin pressed against mine, his hands on my body, in my body, anything to get this sick feeling to go away. Because right now I felt like I was vanishing. I had given Chaz everything that made me feel alive.

  I reached my arms up around Dillon’s neck and sought his lips. He softly returned my kiss and I felt that familiar heat that burned through my core. I still wanted Dillon and I was finally ready to admit to myself that I had never stopped.

  Dillon pulled back sharply. He loosened my hands from his neck and held them firmly at my sides. Pinning me with his dark eyes he said, “Paige, I don’t want to be a rebound fuck. I need more than that. I’m not chasing you around anymore.”

  “You’re not a rebound.” I reached my arms around his neck again. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Dillon.”

  I tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. He shrugged out of it and tossed it to the side. Of course I had seen him without his shirt before but never like this. His shoulders were broader, the muscles more defined. Sharp lines shot down in a V on either side of his lower abdomen. My pulse quickened as I thought about where they led. I ran my hands across his chest, relishing the feel of his hard body as I kissed his neck. He backed me to the bed and when I felt my calves touching the frame I sunk into it.

  Dillon settled over me, his tongue teasing into my mouth as I raked my hands up and down his back. He scent was all masculine, soap and desire, his skin still damp from the shower. Droplets of water slipped from his hair onto my chest as he unbuttoned my blouse with one hand then tugged at the clasp of my bra. He tossed both to the floor and gazed down at me admiringly.

  “Is this really happening?” he whispered. “I feel like I’m dreaming.” His eyes swept over my breasts. They were heavy and full and I took them into my hands, squeezing them to relieve the ache.

  “Jesus, Paige,” growled Dillon. “You’re so beautiful.”

  He lowered his face to my breasts, his tongue swirling and sucking my hardened nipples. I moaned, the ache becoming more and more pleasurable with each stroke of his tongue. I tugged at the waistband of his sweats and wrapped my hand around his length. His hand slipped under my skirt and the flesh between my legs tightened viciously. His fingers slowly, cautiously, glided over my slick folds. He was apprehensive. And how could I blame him? I had always pushed him away. But I wasn’t this time.

  He inhaled deeply and pulled away.

  “Paige, we should stop,” he whispered and rolled onto his side. His dark eyes were wide and wild, his lips wet and full.

  “Do you want to stop?” I asked and sat up on my elbows.

  His face softened as he brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek and murmured, “No, of course not. I’ve been waiting, wanting you for so long. But I know how upset you are. You’re not thinking clearly.”

  I had never been so sure of anything in my life. My eyes locked with his as I slowly twisted out of my skirt and then my panties. His gaze followed as I offered myself to him.

  “Dillon, I need you to fuck me senseless right now. Can I be any more clear?”

  He stared in disbelief for a moment then gave me a look that promised exactly what I asked for. He wriggled out of his sweats and yanked the covers from the bed, leaving me bared and exposed in front of him. I covered myself with my hands as Steve Perry crooned.

  “Oh no, you don’t,” he growled and crawled up my body. “You’re all mine now.”

  He reached into the nightstand and searched for a packet. He slipped it between his teeth and dragged it over my breasts. The sharp foil edges scraped against my smooth flesh and I cried out from the harsh sensation and the need for more. He sat back on his knees and pouted in that dark brooding way that always drove me wild. “Put it on,” he growled.

  I rose up and brought my lips to his, accepting his challenge and took the packet from him with my teeth, dragging it down his chest. I paused over his groin, dropping the packet as I tightened my hand around him. He was so hard, so ready.

  “Fuck,” he inhaled sharply as I lowered and wrapped my lips around him. I really wasn’t thinking, just reacting. I had to taste him. I swirled my tongue around the engorged tip with just the right amount of pressure.

  “You… have to… stop,” he said through clenched teeth and reached for the packet. He quickly tore it open and slipped it on, then pushed me back onto the bed. His lips sealed over mine as I guided him into me. I sucked in my breath and tightened my legs around his waist, my body burning and stretching to accommodate his girth. He stilled and caged me with his hands on either side of my shoulders.

  “Okay?” he whispered, his face inches from mine.

  I nodded.

  He twisted his hands through my hair, giving that extra little tug as he reached the ends of the strands. The ache between my legs growing with each pull. I thought of all the times he had tugged on my ponytail and whispered something wicked to me. How he’d had that dark, seductive look on his face, the one that made my heart race. The look he had now as he sank into me. Is this what he was thinking about each time he had pulled my hair? I moaned and arched my back. My sex clenched around him, my hips rising up to meet his, the tension building and building as it t
hreatened to consume me.

  “Yes,” he hissed. “Let go for me,” he said and pushed in deeper.

  I swayed back and forth underneath him, the waterbed offering no support. My hands clawed at the sheets, desperate to steady myself as I brought my hips up to meet his slow thrusts. He was so deep, hitting deliciously tender spots I didn’t even know I had. Each thrust took more of my breath away as I stretched to my limits with pleasure and pain, not knowing how much more I could take.

  Suddenly, I shrieked! I came apart beneath him, my body riding out the pleasure as I desperately held onto his hips. He quickened his pace, my name a chant on his lips as he thrust violently into me. His orgasm consumed him, rolled through his body like a wave as he released into me. He rolled over, pulling me with him, his hands raking through my hair and stroking down my back. I sat up and straddled him, greedily grinding my swollen center against him until the burning heat washed over me again. I shuddered and collapsed onto his neck.

  “Fuck, Paige, you are wild!”

  We clung to each other, drenched in sweat. As our heart rates slowed I let out a huge sigh. Happy tingles were pulsing through my veins, spreading from my fingers to my toes. I had dreamed about this moment for so long.

  Chaz.

  What? Why was I thinking about him? And why did I feel guilty about being here with Dillon? I felt like I was cheating on Chaz. He had lied to me about who he was, what he was, and I was worried about betraying him? I was seriously screwed up.

  Dillon’s breathing became steady and even and his grip on me loosened. I untangled myself from his arms and gazed down at him resting peacefully, a small smile on his beautiful face. “Love you, Paige,” he said huskily as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

  My eyes widened as adrenalin shot through me. Did he really say that? Chaz had said he loved me too and look how that turned out.

  I wasn’t ready for this.

  I searched around the room for my clothes and quickly dressed. I hopped on one foot as I searched for my other boot. When I reached for the door a knock came from the other side.

  “Dillon, open the door,” called Donny.

  I stilled next to the door.

  Dillon’s eyes fluttered and he fixed his gaze on me. “Where are you going?”

  “Paige, I know you’re in there, open up.”

  “Donny?” called Dillon.

  “I know she’s in there. Open the fucking door or I’m knocking it down!”

  I opened the door and Donny came in, closing it behind him. He glared at both of us, his arms crossed over his chest. Dillon climbed out of bed and reached for his sweats. I blushed and turned away.

  “What the hell, Donny?” barked Dillon

  Donny’s gaze went from me to Dillon and back to me.

  “Damn, honey, you don’t waste any time.”

  “Fuck off, Donny,” called Dillon. “What do you want?”

  “Chaz is upstairs. He wants to talk to Paige.”

  Dillon’s eyes darkened as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. “Like hell he is,” he glared. “Tell him to get the fuck out. She doesn’t want to see him.”

  “Why don’t we ask her, since she’s right here,” Donny directed over to me. “He knows you’re here. The least you can do is talk to him.”

  “The least I can do?” I sneered.

  Donny raised his brows.

  “Fine,” I snapped and grabbed my bag.

  “What?” Dillon reached for my hand. “You don’t have to do this. You don’t owe that son of a bitch a thing.”

  “I know. But I need to see him. He needs to know that I know he’s a fucking liar and he owes me an explanation.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  “No. I have to do this myself.”

  Donny led the way down the hall to the stairs. I followed up behind him. Chaz was sitting on a white sofa leaning on his elbows, his chin resting on his clasped hands. I froze on the stairs as I took him in, wrapped in light, the afternoon sun streaming in through the windows behind him. Sensing my presence he looked over to me, his emerald eyes warming.

  “Paige,” he whispered. His eyes narrowed when he saw Dillon appear on the step behind me, his hand possessively snaked around my stomach.

  Chaz winced and rose to his feet. “Paige,” he began softly. “Can we go talk somewhere?”

  “You can talk right here,” barked Dillon.

  Chaz shot a hard glance to Dillon then returned his gaze to me, his face stiffening when he noticed Dillon’s hand splayed over my belly. “Paige, please.”

  I turned to Dillon. “I have to go,” I whispered. It tore my heart to leave him but I had to. I had to do this if we were going to have a future together. I twisted out of his grip.

  Chaz met Dillon’s scowl with a triumphant smile. “We’re even.”

  Dillon leapt at Chaz but was quickly blocked by Donny.

  “Let her go,” said Donny as Dillon struggled against him. “Let her do this.”

  Dillon relaxed and stepped back. “If you lay one fucking finger on her I swear…”

  Chaz ignored Dillon and we continued out to the driveway. The Mustang was parked between Dillon’s Charger and my Firebird. Seeing the Mustang was like a slap in the face. I thought of all the time we had spent in it. I turned to him and leaned against my car.

  “You got me out here to talk, so talk.”

  “Not here, Paige.”

  I glanced back toward the house. “I don’t think you’re in any position to make demands.”

  He slipped on his Ray Bans and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “I don’t want to talk here with your pit bull ready to jump out and attack me at any moment.”

  “Dillon’s not my pit bull.”

  “Then what is he?”

  I turned from him, hiding my eyes. Why did I feel ashamed that I had run to Dillon? Did I do it because I knew how much it would hurt Chaz? “Let’s go.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  We rode in the Mustang back to Chaz’s house. Neither of us spoke a word and he didn’t turn on the radio. He didn’t tell me we were going to his house but I knew that’s where he would take me.

  And I was dreading it.

  I couldn’t escape him, escape us in that house. Our ghosts were everywhere. After what seemed like an eternity he turned down the long drive. It seemed like a lifetime ago since I had driven down this gravel road though it had only been a couple of weeks. My gaze swept over to the pasture where Dusty used to graze. The mound of dirt from where she was buried was just starting to show yellow dots of mustard grass, the gate to her stall frozen half-open from the time it last had been entered. My heart was frozen too and pain seared through me as I flashed back to the last time I was here on that horrible night. How I had given in and slept with Chaz, using sex to distract us from our problems. As usual.

  I followed him past the pool to the guest house, the ache in the middle of my chest growing with each step. This was where our love had been born, nurtured, and died…if it had ever been real at all.

  If it hadn’t then why did I mourn it?

  Chaz opened the door and I stepped onto the tile entry. Time seemed to have stood still. Everything remained just as it had been. I sucked in my breath when I saw my neon pink bikini still hanging from the hook on the back of the bathroom door, like I had never left. I took a seat on the small sofa as Chaz brushed past me and pulled out a chair from the dining set.

  He sat down to face me. “I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

  “What exactly do you think I found out?” I asked.

  “Donny told me, about what happened with Todd today.”

  Fucking Donny. I told Danielle he would tell. “So, you’re… gay.”

  Chaz hesitated. “No. I’m bi…I’m like Donny. I guess.”

  Blank space hung in the air between us.

  I stiffened and sat straighter. “No, you’re not like Donny.” I was trying to keep my voice at an even tone but it was rising with each wor
d. “Because Donny isn’t a fucking liar like you are.” I felt the anger coming at me like a wave, building and swelling inside of me, churning, white-capped.

  “I can’t explain it to myself let alone you.”

  “That’s a bullshit answer and you know it.”

  “I’m not a liar,” he said flatly.

  “So you’re really not into men? You didn’t seduce me? Make a fool out of me just to get back at Dillon for something I had nothing to do with, knowing full well that every time you told me you loved me it twisted the knife into his back a little further?”

  “No, that’s not how it was.” He rose from the chair and towered over me. “You don’t understand the kind of pressure I’m under!”

  I lowered back onto the sofa. “No, I don’t. Because you never fucking told me any of this.”

  He paced the small interior of the living room. “Everyone expected…wanted something from me. Dad, Mom, my uncles.” He stopped in front of me, pinning me with an icy glare. “You.”

  The anger simmered in my gut. “I never expected anything from you. You were the one hoping I could be pregnant, all that ridiculous talk of marriage.”

  “You were buying into that dream too. You had visions of moving in here with me.”

  I shook my head. “It wasn’t a vision, it was a premonition. One I wasn’t ready for. Evidently, you weren’t ready for it either.”

  Chaz leaned back against the dark wood dining room table, his long fingers tightening against the edge. He took a deep breath, collecting himself, as he lowered his eyes to the floor. “I always knew there was something different about me,” he began. “Ever since I was little I tried to be who everyone wanted me to be, who my family wanted, expected me to be.” He pinned his eyes on mine. “What you wanted me to be,” he grimaced. “I couldn’t do it anymore.”

  “You son of a bitch!” I spat and lunged toward him. I struck his beautiful face and he let me. “You made me think it was me, that it was my fault! That I wasn’t doing something right! I was too demanding, I needed too much. That I wasn’t enough for you!” I slapped at his chest. “You made me believe in you, made me believe in us!” I shrieked, my voice breaking.